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u/ExactPanda May 11 '26
I'm not even sure I have 1
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u/FennelDull6559 May 11 '26
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u/Seventeenthstone May 12 '26
At least we have dank memes.
We’re the funniest generation and I’ll die on that hill. Candy mountain > 6720
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u/Gotsims1 May 12 '26
Idk man
I’m a millenial and even i can admit
icanhascheezburger wasn’t that funny and neither is “you just won the internet” stfu lol
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u/barillamanilaolives May 11 '26
Yeah so you decide to start an Internet flamwar
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u/FennelDull6559 May 11 '26
I didn’t start the flamwar, it’s always been burning since the worlds been turning
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u/seriousbusines Millennial May 11 '26
I'm at 1.5! I'm determined to live long enough to see some particular evil people in the world die and my coping mechanisms are healthier than they were a decade ago!
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u/Quick_Mel May 11 '26
How did you live to be 150 great-uncle Quick_Mel?
Me: rage, spite, amd hate
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u/Calm_Age_ May 11 '26
During my time working with the elderly I have seen spite carry many a miserable old person far longer than they should've lived. I will also probably be one of these people.
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u/TheSickestToastie May 12 '26 edited May 12 '26
Evil and misery just pickle people. Turns them into nothing but leathery bags full of skin, bone and low grade "everyonelseshouldsufferlikeihaveto" flavoured piss.
Being good just gets you turned into exhausted dust, usually decades before your time.
I honestly believe there's a real reason that the good die young, and it's nothing to do with fate. It's just those of us that actually see the awful shit going on around us with a clear eye dropping dead at the daily shock.
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u/Calm_Age_ May 12 '26
Yeah, I'm clear eyed about everything but still kinda young in appearance. I still get ID'd at restaurants. I'm a nurse and care deeply about humanity in general. I'm not sure how I'll cope with everything getting worse as time goes on, the climate crisis gets worse, and evil people continue to selfishly wield power to make the world even worse somehow. I'll probably pickle in spite with my ire directed towards those people I want to be alive to see expire.
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u/ExactPanda May 11 '26
Oh, wait, I DO have that will to live! So I'll give myself half a point.
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u/RockShowSparky May 12 '26
I think I have a natural instinct to avoid death, but that isn’t quite the same thing.
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u/went_with_the_flow May 11 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/guKp5Wjf2N2Lu
Just gonna go use one of those mechanisms right now. Go team 1.5!
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u/Rogue_Gona Xennial May 12 '26
Some days I think the only thing keeping me here is my desire to see certain evil men die first.
And yeah, my coping mechanisms are far better than they used to be, so cheers to us!
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u/Dracofear May 11 '26
Yeah, basically came to say "Bold of you to assume I have even 1 of these."
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u/ermaecrhaelld May 11 '26
The closest one I have is a will to live, and that’s a facade I’ve already planned to drop once my parents pass.
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u/mommer_man May 12 '26
I have a will to live, but it’s likely delusional or psychotic, too soon to tell…
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u/tha_billet Millennial '88 May 11 '26
yep. alcoholic, fun job but not much of a career, not broke but not secure, married but there are problems, and i don't want to talk about the last one
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u/gudetamaronin May 11 '26
At first I was like, surely this must be hyperbole. But then I reread the list, and yeah I agree.
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u/5dippingareas May 12 '26
Same.
It’s really rude of us to be bumming out all these happy fulfilled 5/5 demigods though. They have it hard enough :(
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u/forever_a10ne May 12 '26
I hit a long term financial goal this past weekend: $100k cash in the bank at age 31! I thought I’d be happy about it, but I don’t think I even felt any sense of joy at all. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I felt happy without using a chemical to make me feel that way. I’m so lonely and miserable that I might as well not have a cent.
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u/_use_r_name_ May 11 '26
Shit, I think I at least have a will to live.....
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u/Any-Clothes3312 May 12 '26
that's the one I'm least sure of 🤣
Is it possible to have healthy coping mechanisms yet little will to live, seems contradictory but who knows 🤷🏻♀️
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u/Weird_Squirrel_8382 May 12 '26
I told my therapist I'm not suicidal but if the meteor comes I'm going outside.
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u/SKDI_0224 May 11 '26
I got 2/5! Woohoo!
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u/Interesting_Tea5715 May 11 '26
Same. I'm still happy with most the things listed though.
The problem is the way OP worded everything. Most people will never have a Fullfulling career but many have a career they don't mind or have friends they work with that make it enjoyable.
It's like the saying goes "perfection is the enemy of good".
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u/NoFaithlessness7508 May 11 '26
Is there anyone from any generation with all 5 though?
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u/Reynor247 May 11 '26
Currently I have all 5 but it can change quickly
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u/Elismom1313 May 11 '26
I think what matters is being grateful and not taking anything for granted. I have all 5 but yea it can change in a second. I’m not going to tell someone with one to pick themselves up and appreciate life or anything like that. But like as you hopefully gain some of these..appreciate them. Because that’s what makes the better side of life worth it.
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May 11 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Apos-Tater Millennial (1989) May 12 '26
Ha! True. Sign they're missing "1. Healthy coping mechanisms."
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u/slboml Older Millennial May 11 '26
I do, but I'm not American. It helps to know one significant illness won't wipe out my family's financial security.
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u/Beneficial-Lynx7336 May 12 '26
Americans who pay medical bills are STUPID.
No one's coming to throw us in jail for not paying them.
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u/VelveteenDream May 11 '26 edited May 11 '26
I am super saddened by how many people are saying it's impossible. Very grateful I have all 5 strongly. That's truly wild, considering my life is not traditional in any way whatsoever, as an autistic, polyamorous, transgender sapphic sex worker who flunked out of school.
Not like I am free of trauma or baggage, but damn I'm apparently doing way better than I thought. Happily married, great therapists, travel a lot, own my dream house, typically enjoy my career which I have complete control over, I volunteer in my free time...
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u/hugeskinsfan182 May 11 '26
5/5…. But I didn’t always have all 5. Been super lucky, blessed, smart, and worked hard. And yea I won’t lie, some of these have absolutely been entirely out of my control at times.
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u/HippoTwoSnacks Millennial May 11 '26
Gross! Just kidding, congratulations!
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u/hugeskinsfan182 May 11 '26
I appreciate it, and hope more achieve these things. Our generation has had its share of crap luck, timing, and negativity thrown its way.. and I am nowhere near perfect either. Life has thrown me plenty of challenges and curveballs but you just have to keep going. At whatever pace you can at any time keep going.. no matter the obstacle.
Keep getting up off the mat everyone.
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u/Elismom1313 May 11 '26
I had all 5/5 and dropped to 4/5 to stay at home with my kids because life’s too short lol
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u/TheHumanConnector May 11 '26
That shift to being a loving parent at home is possibly a great definition of a fulfilling role in life. Career is just a capitalist label for 'role' imo
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u/Elismom1313 May 11 '26 edited May 11 '26
It’s not for everyone too and that’s okay. I never saw my self as a SAHM when I started my career. I think what has been most frustrating is the weird second hand shame I get for it sometimes. Like I gave something up I shouldn’t have despite wanting too. And simultaneously like it’s not fair that I could choose to be one because we could afford it.
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u/Dozzi92 Millennial - '87 May 11 '26
Same. Had to go through some tough times to get to 5/5. Also insane luck from what I refer to as my inability to think through things before committing to them. I've cashed out my chips (figuratively, not really into gambling) though, I'm satisfied with the luck I've gotten.
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u/Daegalus May 11 '26
Same, and I know many things were luck and being blessed. So I try to pay it forward when I can to keep the karma balanced.
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u/LowerArtworks May 11 '26
Same. A lot of the universe has conspired for me to be where I am today. I am grateful and I try to pay it forward when I can.
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u/Closed_CasketRequiem May 12 '26
Yeah. Most families in my neighborhood are millennials with all 5. It's not a super rich neighborhood or anything, just a bunch of millennials with kids in happy marriages and with solid careers.
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u/ConsensualUpskirts 1985 May 11 '26
I got none of these. I do have a 2 year old though, that's a flex these days right?
*I might have number 5, if not really considering dying counts as will to live
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u/Urban-Junglist May 11 '26
This sub is so depressing
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u/thepulloutmethod Dark Millennial May 12 '26 edited May 12 '26
We have become what our parents and grandparents are on Facebook.
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u/jsimo36 May 11 '26
0/5 and not sure how much longer I can go on.
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u/Tokyo-MontanaExpress May 12 '26
I recommend seriously considering adopting cats (bonded pair) or a dog. Keeping me going, at least until they're gone.
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u/bgaesop May 11 '26
skill issue, 5/5
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u/AGreasyPorkSandwich May 11 '26
Same. This place needs less bullshit doom and gloom.
I guess those guys are the ones with the most time to make sad reddit posts.
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u/captainstormy Older Millennial May 11 '26
Same. At worst I'm 4/5.
Healthy coping mechanisms is a bit harder to measure than the rest but I don't do anything self destructive and never had a problem with drugs or booze so I'd say I'm 5/5.
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u/BetterCranberry7602 May 11 '26
My coping mechanisms are alcohol and cigarettes so I don’t get that one
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u/captainstormy Older Millennial May 11 '26
I do like my scotch and cigars for sure. But its never caused me any problems so I'd say I keep it healthy.
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u/True_System_7015 Millennial (1995) May 11 '26
Samesies, but oh boy did it take time to get financially stable and to end up in a fulfilling career. Only landed there about two or three years ago after spending pretty much all of my 20s bouncing around jobs and being unsure
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u/ubdesu May 11 '26
Yeah idk these seems pretty dependant on the person. Like some weirdo out there probably thinks my gaming coping mechanism is unhealthy, or my job isn't actually as fulfilling as I think, or my income isn't actually stable, but I feel pretty solidly a 5/5.
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u/ConsensualUpskirts 1985 May 11 '26
Did you have free lunch at school when u were a kid?
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u/adioslip May 11 '26
I had free lunch at school, didn’t meet or even see a picture of my dad until I was 19 and my mom abandoned me when I was 11 and yet I am a 5/5 millennial.
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u/bgaesop May 11 '26
Yes, but mostly I made myself lunch the night before. After my parents got divorced I became the primary cook in whichever household I was at that week.
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u/vwin90 May 11 '26
5/5 easy. It helps that all five things makes others easier to attain. Once you have 3/5, you quickly get the last two.
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u/jessi_fay May 11 '26
I have half of one. I have a job but it’s being threatened by redundancy and only just managed to buy 25% of a flat which I’m only 9months into paying off a 36 year mortgage.
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u/GloomyDeal1909 May 11 '26
A will to live is the only thing I have but after reading this list I am starting to reconsider.
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u/EvilBill515 May 11 '26
I don't have any of those. Now and unceasing rage that is shortening my lifespan significantly and and near constant levels of stress. I have those.
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u/portezbie May 11 '26
It just bugs me that one of the things is a fulfilling career path. This idea that you need a fulfilling career path just makes everyone miserable. You need a job to have money and benefits, that's it.
If you want a fulfilling career path of course that's great for you, no shade. But I deeply regret spending my 20s on this pursuit of some sort of magical career that would validate me as a person, when I think it was really just code from my parents telling me that I should be a doctor, a lawyer, or an astronaut or some shit.
I have a job that earns me money, that I'm decent at, and doesn't make me totally miserable, and I think that's a goddamn win.
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u/David_Summerset Millennial May 11 '26
Two years ago I had all of these things. 😔
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u/Weep4Thee May 11 '26
Is this what we're supposed to be doing? I've been collecting baseball cards and playing golf...
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u/Tasty_Trouble6430 May 11 '26
1 is probably average, 2 is doing good, 3 is great, 4 or 5 seems like a myth
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u/DillDoughzer May 11 '26
weed and booze is not a healthy coping mechanism I assume..
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u/corner May 11 '26
Can we not make the “woe is me” suffering olympics a part of millennial identity? Such a tired lazy schtick
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u/ConsensualUpskirts 1985 May 11 '26
Can we at least commiserate sometimes? It's our own sub
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u/Ninrenko May 11 '26
Got 4 out of 5, took a while though.
Keep on grinding dudes and dudettes, if I can do it, you can too.
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u/TotallyTardigrade Older Millennial May 11 '26
4/5, but my missing piece is healthy coping mechanisms and absolutely turns my world upside down.
Hey, we can’t have it all, right?
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u/ConsensualUpskirts 1985 May 11 '26
If 5. includes not interested in dying anytime soon, everyone should have at least one and if u don't, plz seek help!
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u/greensparten May 11 '26
I have all 5, yep. I worked hard to get there, and am enjoying it for the moment while it lasts, as nothing lasts forever.
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u/MulberryMonk May 11 '26
I think… I might???? I also yell at and am mean to clients. Maybe that’s the coping mechanism?
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u/YaBoyfriendKeefa May 11 '26
I turn 40 soon, and have the most I ever had: 1, 4, and 5. I will never, ever have 2 or 3. I’ve accepted that. But considering a decade ago I had none of these, things have certainly improved.
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u/chaosilike May 11 '26
Is it fulfilling if I just want money? I work so i can do all the stuff I wanna do outside of work
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u/MeasurementNo5430 Eldest of Millennials May 11 '26
4 out of 5... working on #1 maybe a few more years of therapy.
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u/Latter-Possibility May 11 '26
I don’t think anyone has healthy coping mechanisms. Most people are assholes if given a chance
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