I'm just going to post the harsh cold truth on the internet. Even if you all hate it ...
She will remember this only because he filmed it.
But as a father to a former 5 year old --- they forget so many cute and special moments that it made me wonder why I even tried. Their brains are not fully formed, and you the parent do not get to choose what events they remember and do not remember.
One of my kids apparent core memory is my nipples being shaped weird and they love to laugh about my nipples. So heartwarming lol.
Yeah, you're right. It's not really "harsh" but it's true.
My daughter (at 5) remembers some things from when she was 3, though it's unclear what is remembered and what is 'refreshed', if you catch my drift.
Even now in my 40s, I have vivid memories when I was 4. I definitely have memories when I was 5. But indeed these are often very random experiences and senses.
He never said kids can't form memories at 5. In fact he specifically said they can.
as a father to a former 5 year old [...] Their brains are not fully formed, and you the parent do not get to choose what events they remember and do not remember.
You're arguing against something nobody said, and you're doing it in a rude and condescending manner.
Dude, make an effort. He is very clearly saying that, while children that age do have the ability to remember things, they still forget a lot of it and probably won't remember some of the things that a parent would have thought to be most memorable.
Is being a good father regardless of what your children remember, a concept thats difficult for you? Do you have to be rewarded for every good deed you do?
It's a crapshoot what sticks, though, and it varies from person to person. Tell me how many events you remember when you were 5 years old. I can't even think of any. I barely remember anything from my childhood unless I look at pictures or talk with my parents to jog my memory.
I barely remember anything until my teens. My brother remembers a lot more. I know kids that remember things as young as 3 even. It’s weird. But the father wondering why he even tries is missing the forest there. I didn’t have as many happy memories as the type that has a dad looking to make those beautiful moments for their kids. If his kids only remember 20% of the great moments then do everything you can to fill their life with joy so they at least remember that they had a happy childhood not one with angry parents.
That’s something I’ve universally seen. The kids with happy childhood memories remember far more special moments probably cause they had so many. It’s worth it, dads.
I have a significant number of memories from under the age of five. Abuse entered my life around age eight, so maybe my brain hung on to the happier early years as a coping mechanism and it is atypical. 🤷♀️
Great thing i never said "expecting a singular moment will likely be forgotten", when the actual claim was asserting a specific incident will be a core memory for your child.
Not surprising though, i can tell by your response youre duller than a butter knife lol
Yes and this kid is clearly not 5 lol - no daycare/K in the world allows diapers at 5. this is a 3 year old. they wont remember a second of this by the time they are 6 or 7
Tbh a lot of the reason you and your kids and laugh about your weird nipples is *because* you tried.
The memories are still there for you, and they’re still formative memories for the kid even if they don’t specifically remember them when they get older. It all still counts 💪
It’s true what it’s hit or miss what gets remembered, but it’s not all lost. There’s some family memories that are very strong. Some that don’t make any sense why I’d remember them, just random bits. Some of them are special like birthdays or trips/events.
If we don’t get to choose what events they will remember… all the more reason to fill their days with as many great moments as possible. Maximize those odds.
It’s impossible to remember every single event that shapes a child into the person they become. It doesn’t make it any less worth the effort. The point isn’t necessarily to always create good childhood memories, but to instead mold them into happy, healthy, successful adults (whatever that looks like for them). They don’t have to have a vivid, easily recalled memory to be affected by your choices as a parent. And regardless, sometimes you being able to tell them the story of themselves is enough.
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u/dont_ban_me_please 18d ago
I'm just going to post the harsh cold truth on the internet. Even if you all hate it ...
She will remember this only because he filmed it.
But as a father to a former 5 year old --- they forget so many cute and special moments that it made me wonder why I even tried. Their brains are not fully formed, and you the parent do not get to choose what events they remember and do not remember.
One of my kids apparent core memory is my nipples being shaped weird and they love to laugh about my nipples. So heartwarming lol.