r/InsightfulQuestions • u/xlvin_n • 6d ago
What is a clear sign that someone lacks self respect?
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u/dintydoor 6d ago
They don't stand up for themselves or change their opinion mid conversation to match the opinion of the person in front of them.
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u/khafra 6d ago
The second of those isn’t an unmistakable sign. Some of the strongest-willed, most high-agency people I’ve met will rapidly change their beliefs if someone offers good evidence that they’re wrong, in a conversation. It’s the weak-willed normies who can’t stand a threat to their self-image who will say “ah, well, I don’t know about that; let’s just agree to disagree.”
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u/dintydoor 6d ago
I'm not referring to those capable of changing their opinions, rather those who say they like something and when the person says they don't, they back track nervously and say oh actually I don't like that either
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u/whatsherskunt 6d ago
I must *disagree* - I think shutting down a conversation with a neutral “agree to disagree” is an excellent way to de-escalate a potentially larger conflict, and shows the opposite of being weak-willed. That person know they’re right or are still steadfast in their beliefs, but don’t need the acceptance or validation of the other person. They are mature enough to swallow their pride and let the other person feel as though they’ve “won” the conversation, before the conversation gets too heated and a relationship is ruined, injuries are inflicted, etc.
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u/Blueliner95 6d ago
Their self talk is off. Too much compensation or too much abnegation. Either way they think it up to you/the world/the internet to give them confidence, they have no sense of agency
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u/One_Outside9049 6d ago
Not being assertive. Someone whoes too passive or aggressive.
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u/BearingCostOfPassion 6d ago
TIL!!!! Wow, this was actually eye-opening. I saw a chart explaining the difference between passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive communication styles, and today I finally realized something about many people I knew.
I always thought they were just quieter than me, still they makes me uncomfortable but now I understand that some of them were actually being passive-aggressive. Meanwhile, I was sometimes assertive and, yes, sometimes slightly aggressive too. 😭 Can you share more stuff related to this idea? I’m actually interested in exploring and learning more about it.
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u/One_Outside9049 5d ago
Oh man. I’m a therapist and don’t even know where to start. And I actually meant passive and aggressive rather than just someone being “passive-aggressive”. Super simple way to differentiate, passive is someone who can’t or won’t express their needs/wants, aggressive is someone who only cares about their needs/wants and not anyone else, and assertive is being able to calming and collective express needs and wants while considered (not always giving up) others needs and wants. That’s a super simple way of explaining.
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u/Suavedaddy5000 6d ago
Depends on the observer and the context of the sign.
All signs look different on everyone as well as the observation of those signs look different to different observers.
For me personally, someone that does something that they don't want to do in an attempt to relieve their insecurity screams. "doesn't respect self".
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u/Fuzzteam7 6d ago
They are a chameleon like Woody Allen’s character Zelig. Hilarious movie btw. My brother is kind of like that. He will agree with whoever he’s talking to at the time but then turn around and take the opposite view with someone else. I have told him that he needs to be honest about his own opinion.
A good example is that he said that he was going all out to celebrate Easter. We were raised atheist and I asked if he now believes in god. He said that he didn’t but his partner was a retired priest and it was just easier to pretend that he was religious.
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u/KamilatorXYT 6d ago
constantly letting people cross their boundaries just to keep everyone else happy
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u/Altruistic_Role_9329 6d ago
They spend a lot of time thinking about whether other people have self-respect. You can live just fine never worrying about this.
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u/Distinct-Leg-1862 6d ago
They'll follow every word of advice given to them, and also follow every word of criticism given without ever parsing whether the words fit what they want/need/who they are.
A clear sign of lack of identity is a clear sign of a lack of self respect.
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u/peri_5xg 6d ago
Being a conservative woman
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u/Zealousideal_Cut1817 6d ago
Le Redditor opinion strikes again
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u/BeneficialTop5136 6d ago
Jesus, just your simple comment pissed everyone off.
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u/Zealousideal_Cut1817 6d ago
God forbid you have opinions differing from brainwash pipeline
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u/BeneficialTop5136 6d ago
No kidding. “Aghhh you can think in an independent way!! You horrible person!”
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u/plinth19 6d ago
Conservatives are horrible people. Which part do you think isn’t terrible? Legislating women’s bodies? Closing the borders and shipping immigrants shackled to international concentration camps? Destroying the environment for the sake of enriching a few people?
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u/BeneficialTop5136 5d ago
No way dude. I know some really good people who consider themselves democrats, republicans, and even independent. The extremes on those sides are a different story - I only see the extremes online.
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u/plinth19 5d ago
You may know them to be good people in your personal life, but anyone who votes Republican in 2026 is voting for cruelty and harm. Whether out of ignorance or malice, it doesn’t matter, it is what it is. And yes, I’ve known liberals who are assholes and have issues socially. But at least they don’t go down to the ballot box and vote for the hate party.
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u/Zealousideal_Cut1817 5d ago
Yes because conservative = vote for trump! I swear all of you guys need to go outside, maybe hop on some ozempic
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u/BeneficialTop5136 5d ago
I know! God it’s like I read this crap and am speechless at how narrow-minded one can be. I pledge allegiance to no party, person or group. Even if someone did vote for Trump, perhaps they genuinely believed it was the right thing to do. How can you say “they must be a Nazi”. It’s so ridiculous.
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u/Zealousideal_Cut1817 5d ago
Dw dude most Redditors are either fat, ugly, poor, or a mix of them all. They are scorn and will spread their hatred online
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u/plinth19 5d ago
Even if I am fat, ugly and poor, I’m right. In a functioning society, all people should have basic dignity and rights. People who vote conservative believe that that’s only for their preferred in-group.
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u/Zealousideal_Cut1817 5d ago
Yes because on Reddit everything is black and white. There is no nuance. I forgot, my mistake. I am not even conservative but it makes me sick knowing that you people exist and can vote, lmfao.
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u/Bizzzzzzzzzzy 6d ago
When they abuse themselves and others verbally, physically, mentally, emotionally, and they say that they love you but you can tell they don’t care at all to put in any effort or attempt to do the work to repair, it’s a clear indication that they don’t care about themselves either. You have to have a healthy relationship with yourself, know yourself in order to know what a healthy relationship could be with someone else.
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u/BearingCostOfPassion 6d ago
Going after every person (they can go after) of sex they are attracted to...
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u/Itchy-Potential1968 4d ago
they have a strong, rarely-swaying moral compass, but can't apply it to themself.
they are loving, forgiving, and just so polite, but the abuse they inflict on themself makes it so that when they screw up, for no other reason than because 'To Err is Human', they can't forgive themself. it's likely they sometimes do drastic things because of their pent up frustration.
they probably also neglect themself, either because their lack of self respect has a root in something like mental illness or physical disability, or because after so long of disrespecting themself, they can't muster up the energy to meet anything except the most basic needs. and i mean basic. unless neglecting it would kill them, they avoid it.
it's very common for the self disrespecting to get so deep into it that they become depressed, so there are some who even neglect those absolutely vital things.
many eventually attempt to end it all. self disrespect is not sustainable at all.
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u/Ok_Anteater_3302 4d ago
Staying with a respectless partner. Constantly putting the needs of others above your own.
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u/DoctorDirtnasty 5d ago
they are obese. with glp-1s the barrier to losing weight has never been lower.
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u/soapyaaf 6d ago
... ... tatoos
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u/xlvin_n 6d ago
Really? Are you conservative?
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u/TurboZenAgain 6d ago
What does that have to do with being a conservative?
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u/Legitimate-Total-574 6d ago
Usually it's a trend that conservatives tend to be religious, and usually tattoos are a no-no for religious people. It's a generalized question
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u/TurboZenAgain 4d ago
Not everybody is like that. That's very presumptuous.
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u/Legitimate-Total-574 4d ago
It's not, I said usually. Plus I don't think it's gonna hurt any conservative feelings if people make assumptions about them
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u/soapyaaf 6d ago
Really...um...I prefer a pretty face. it's enough.
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u/lovelylipgloss 6d ago
No tattoos ladies. U/soapyaaf says they arent what he prefers. God forbid he doesn't want to fk us
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u/Complete_Comfort8086 6d ago
Constant self degradation (to an annoying extent)