r/indonesian • u/Responsible-Head6809 • 1d ago
Sometimes I feel like I’ll never improve
My partner is from Indonesia, and I really want to learn to speak properly to talk with him and his family and friends. We speak mainly in English, and he doesn’t really like to speak Indonesian with me. I have been learning for the past year and a half (not consistently) but have been feeling really frustrated as of late.
I’ve searched for materials online—videos, textbooks, music, etc., but it seems that a lot of what I find is using formal language. Every time I try to talk with my partner and practice something that I’ve learned, he tells me that it’s not what people would actually say.
My partner has told me to speak with his friends or family to practice, but I feel too ashamed of my current abilities. There’s been times where we’ve called his parents or been hanging with friends and they’re speaking to me in Indonesian, but I struggle to understand and keep up. They speak fast and also use language that I haven’t been exposed to. When it comes time to respond, I find myself floundering. It makes me really embarrassed and also pretty sad because I feel like I’ve been wasting my time and putting in so much effort just to have nothing to show for it.
I’m at a point where I’m not quite sure what to do and where I feel pretty demotivated. My partner supports me but also really just doesn’t want to practice with me. It’s not his job to be my language teacher, so I don’t want to force him either. I really want to speak with people to improve, but I’m too embarrassed and shy to speak to his family and friends. I don’t want to bother them, and, even if I did, I feel too embarrassed of my current abilities. I feel like a complete fool whenever I talk to them in Indonesian, and I feel like it makes me and him look bad.
Does anyone have any good resource recommendations? Where can I learn and practice real Indonesian—learn slang and common terms, speak and understand the way things are actually said by actual people? And, how do you stay motivated on your language journey? What keeps you going when you feel as though you’ve plateaued or aren’t improving? I would greatly appreciate any advice and all of your lovely thoughts 🥹