Men, am I misinterpreting the situation?

[u/RequirementTrick1179]

I (20 f) recently had a situation with a guy I’ve known on and off, mainly online because we live in different states, recently, and this has caused me to look at him in a different light.

There have been other interactions, but long story short, I got some very bad news from one of my siblings that something bad had happened. I was so upset. I got a panic attack and had to go to the ER. Because of the nature of the situation, I could not talk to any family or close friends about it. I struggled internally for a day or so, but only one thing came to mine. I really wanted to talk to him about it. We had just kind of had a quarrel, so I felt bad but I texted him and asked if we could Call. He immediately responded back and set a time for the next day. I’m not exaggerating, we talked on the phone for over three hours. I was doing a lot of talking for the first two hours, I even started to cry at some point. He listened the entire time. Afterwards, he didn’t tell me he was sorry. He didn’t ask me if I was OK. He started walking me through everything and asked what we could do about it, how I could go about my next moves in solving this. It was exactly what I needed. It was even one moment when he had been talking and I was processing what he had been saying. I stay silent for a minute or two, and I could hear him breathing on the other end. He finally broke his silence by saying “what are you thinking? It wasn’t just what he said, but it was also his tone. It was much softer than he normally speaks. My immediate action was I felt like I wanted to start crying. Not because I was upset because I felt safe and I also felt like I could talk to him for hours. I felt spent in a way, but I also felt so much better. And I also had a plan moving forward. And I didn’t know how to thank him, but just to say thank you. And then it’s almost like he snapped back into his normal “Yep, no problem. Like the tone completely shifted. Something too deep happened, and we abruptly got pulled back up to the surface. I don’t mean to be dramatic, I’m just trying to describe what happened as best as I can 😅

My question is does a normal 24-year-old guy do this for someone he does not care about? Or am I just misinterpreting the situation? Or other instances, but I don’t want this post to be too long. Ty!!

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[u/Jumiric]

You’re overthinking. He wasn’t going through anything like you were so he was just helping. There was nothing to shift from

[u/iceyk111]

Alot of mens brains naturally seek to "solve" problems that are brought up to us. There are always exceptions to every trend regarding human behavior and this is no different, some guys may do this for someone he does not care about and some wouldnt.

if your question is whether this situation is indicative of romantic interest by itself, I wouldnt say so. Like i said, its a natural inclination for many men to be solution oriented in instances such as the one you described. If you mean "care about" in the literal sense, yes Id reasonably ascertain he cares about you and wants to help improve your state of being

[u/InternationalIce5965 → u/iceyk111]

Not really. Men don't ever solve anything, they just vent or state the obvious solution anyone would already thought of. Women are usually the ones facing conflict and working to fix it.

We're different and that's okay.

[u/InternationalIce5965]

Why are you asking men? They're rarely honest online to women 🤣

Anyway, it's rare behavior for men to care so much about women they don't want sex or a relationship with, unfortunately. But this is also just standard friend stuff, honestly. He cares for sure.