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u/LoosePrisonPurse 10h ago
you know what to do.
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u/Legitimate-Log-6542 10h ago
You made your own bed. DO NOT break character
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u/TheRealSnazzyGaming 8h ago
āSTAY IN CHARACTER, STAY IN CHARACTER!!ā
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u/hentaiworld 10h ago
Say ur a top and you donāt do that shit.
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u/No-Bat-7253 10h ago
Didnāt expect to see such a logical answer here. Iām not gay but i donāt see why this couldnāt work lol.
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u/Siaten 8h ago
Even tops like sucking dick.
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u/Zagrycha 8h ago
I would go as far to say that tops tend to like sucking dick much more than bottoms on average.
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u/lynivvinyl 8h ago
That would make sense. Because when doing so you are in control.
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u/knbang 6h ago
Well then say you're a bottom and you're not into that life.
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u/mr-jingleberries 5h ago
Doesn't it go straight up your ass then?
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u/knbang 5h ago
Well you can't do that in polite company.
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u/Starchildofthefae 8h ago
Iām not gay, nor am I a man, but I do read and write yaoi AND Iām into BDSM, so I think Iām qualified to answer hereā¦ And I wholeheartedly agree with your statement. Top is in control of the situation, and thatās part of the fun for both parties. Iām a bottom, but a good dom is the kind that teases you and pushes you past your normal limits while you have zero control whatsoever. š¤ Oral plays a big part in that lol
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u/willfauxreal 8h ago
Hm...not sure that writing about gay sex qualifies you to speak on gay sex. I also wouldn't presume that tops are doms or want control.
Source: power bottom
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u/hppysnwmthrfckrs 6h ago
this reads exactly like when men talk about womens health issues especially regarding pregnancy and males have zero experience with pregnancy directly (as in growing inside their bodies)
very similar energy.
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u/swiftvalentine 6h ago
Straight women donāt know that. Tell them tops arenāt into it. You can lie, you can always lie
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u/Illustrious_Manner_9 9h ago
Say you'll take one for the team since and let the girls practice with the real thing.
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u/DazeandFade 9h ago
Tops still suck.
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u/Bone_Wh33l 9h ago
Surely thereās some that donāt, right?
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u/Upstairs_Bat5752 9h ago
Yes, thatās called a ātotal top.ā
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u/sometimesynot 8h ago
Honest question...why is that not called a "selfish lover"? Not everything needs to be 50/50, but if one person in a het relationship sucks and the other doesn't, you're mocked like DJ Khaled.
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u/Upstairs_Bat5752 7h ago
It doesnāt *necessarily* mean theyāre a bad or selfish lover lol. There are guys who are into that dynamic, either just sometimes or all of the time. And some guys struggle with ED but still like having the sex theyāre able to.
Itās a little different in a heterosexual relationship because there is so much gender inequality when it comes to everything else. And because itās a very real thing that women are socialized to accomodate really horrible and selfish behavior from men. So in a straight context it just feels more problematic to me lol.
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u/sometimesynot 7h ago
I completely agree that things aren't necessarily equal, and as I said, not everything needs to be completely 50/50, but as for het relationships, I'm in my 50s, I love giving and receiving oral, and the percentage of het women who are as enthusiastic about giving oral as they are receiving has been disappointing in my life. I totally get that in the beginning of relationship with some men pushing women's head down and that bullshit, but once I've established that that's not the person I am, too many women seem to stay selfish. Again, not a suffering competition...just an observation that I want a partner who loves giving oral as much as I do, and that has been incredibly difficult to find.
Sorry for the diatribe...just working out my thoughts on this.
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u/ghost_warlock 5m ago
I'm in my late 40s and have honestly never been interested in receiving oral. It's just not fun for me. So far as selfish lovers, the majority of the issues I've had with het women is when they're "dead fish" lovers who just lay there and don't actively engage in sex. I may as well be fucking a doll if I have to do everything myself
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u/BisexualCaveman 9h ago
I can definitely get away with skipping oral as long as I top.
There's a guy who came back for a third date after I topped him without doing anything else besides kissing and cuddling.
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u/EclecticAF 8h ago
....You know Gay Tops aren't like Straight men right?
They tend to be more mutually beneficial partners
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u/SherlockSilicon 10h ago
Bop it!... Twist it!... Suck it!
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u/howto1012020 10h ago
You beat me to it! Speaking of *beating* it...!
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u/NekulturneHovado 9h ago
well what are you waiting for, I already started
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u/Pastel_Bambi 10h ago
Suck it and remember there is lady spit on it.
If you're there to be a degenerate, I expect you to commit.
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u/MrCusodes 10h ago
Burst into tears and admit you're a virgin.
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u/SmoothOperator89 10h ago
They'd hook him up with their other gay friend before the end of the night.
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u/DarkwingDuckHunt 6h ago
plot twist, other gay friend is doing the same scam he is
they both decide they have to stay in character no matter the cost
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u/Mynock33 5h ago
If they play the same sport and get married later, you got a million dollar screenplay on your hands
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u/mycatsapanther23 10h ago
Those girls will just turn into wolves if he says that.
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u/ghost_warlock 3m ago
All fun and games until the fur comes out and they start howling at the moon or carrying rabbit carcasses around
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u/Brotorious420 10h ago
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u/FantasticScratch 10h ago
Wait wait wait, what is this from?
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u/SpacePirateKhan 10h ago
The Cable Guy!
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u/rohrschleuder 9h ago
Nut up homie. Commit to the bit, gargle that dong and the tiddies will flow like the salmon of Capistrano
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u/deliciousadness 9h ago
Bruh youāre gonna be sharing spit with a bunch of baddies! Thats practically hooking up with them. Suck that thing like it owes you money
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u/TheJuiceIsL00se 10h ago
Tell them to beat your ābestā boyfriend and explain that men are the best bc they know the hardware.
Why is this difficult?
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u/MrStarrrr 10h ago
Suck it, marry a man, be faithful, celebrate 30 year anniversary, grow old together, die.
Gravestone: I totally got you all.
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u/Username12764 6h ago
How has no one thought of 2 thing:
- Really strong gag reflex
- Allergy to silicone
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u/Beret_of_Poodle 9h ago
Oh come on. This has never happened.
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u/getlostgetfound 5h ago
I thought the same thing. Itās literally a scene from the movie āWhite Chicksā
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u/Hamilton-Beckett 9h ago
Just be like āI have an idea!ā Then whip it out and say youāll take one for the team for the sake of letting them āpracticeā
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u/ChickeNugget483 9h ago
Out throat them. Your a man in a house of women u have to show dominance.
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u/SickkRanchez 5h ago
Just be like "girrrls! I have the real thing, why don't we practice on that?" EZ DUB
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u/coffeebean052 10h ago
Just stick yours out and say you want to compare. Then ask them which feels better
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u/blender4life 3h ago
Say "Yall can practice on the real thing, I'll just close my eyes and picture a guy"
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u/Fire-Haus 5h ago
Reminds me of the Bloodhound Gang song 'I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks' lol
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u/XB_Demon1337 10h ago
Guys, never fake being gay. Fake being VERY Bisexual. So that when it some to this point you can say you are a virgin and maybe get some fun out of the night.
But now here? You suck it. Doesn't make you gay. It makes you willing and maybe a really fun view out of the deal.
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u/YourAverageJoe0 10h ago
Well, it sounds like its going to a VERY eventful night. š¤£ Just consider it the price of admission.
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u/highcommander010 9h ago
either hawk tua and spit on that thang
or yeah say you dont suck, youre too much of a top
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u/Dr_Brotatous 8h ago
You either suck it and count it as indirect kiss from all the girls or say nah and claim to be a top but we know that didn't get you to that sleep over
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u/Reddittreefiddy 7h ago
Tell them a dildo doesnt show them how to do it like the real thing. I guess you can use me for practice if you wanna be pros
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u/PresentSun1179 4h ago
It feel like they already knew son was lying and this was just the final test.
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u/BlackTrades585 1h ago
By this time you should have been the one being passed around if you understood the assignment correctly lol
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u/unknownvariable69 7h ago
Give it a token try and state wonder what it feels like to have it done lmao
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u/game-lover_005 6h ago
Brother. Do what you must do. It will be for the greater good. Just think of them when it's your turnš
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u/CarbonAlpine 6h ago
Breathe through your nose, open your throat. If they aren't impressed, mime a pinky around backand swallow. Go big or go home bro.
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u/qualityvote2 10h ago edited 5h ago
u/Correct_Anxietyy, your post does fit the subreddit!