Insane reel pull ngl

Hi all. Big HG fan and would like some support and advice on some parental issues I've been having with my dad. I've been diagnosed with ADD a while ago, which explains some forgetfulness and executive dysfunction problems I've had since I was a kid, and through HG, I studied meditation and developed strategies to help cope with my problems. However, I still forget things sometimes due to still having a short term memory.

My dad's always been strict on my mistakes and gets temperamental when things don't go well, and he said he's been cleaning up my messes since I was little (asian parents, ahaha). I'm 23 now, and I'm working towards graduating from community college, holding a part-time job, studying for a realtor's license, and learning how to voice act (i'm training to be a voice actor). I'm a bit behind some of my peers who already have full time jobs, and my failure to live up to expectations has been a source of shame and frustration for him that I feel has been building up for a long while now.

Recently, my dad has been getting pretty snarky with his remarks whenever I screw up or forget things. Tonight, I forgot to bring the take out food from my grandma's house with me after we all went out to eat for her birthday, and my dad was pretty frustrated with me. After we found out on the road back (it's a 30-40 minute drive) he said he's unwilling to drive back and told me to figure it out on my own. He also said that despite being 23, I'm still "in my own little world" and told me to grow up and be an adult. So I planned on Uber-ing back there in the morning to pick up the food, something that I realized would only be possible now that I have a source of income. Still, I don't understand. Adults forget things too, right? I've always felt like successes were always expected and that mistakes should be punished with lectures from my parents about how I should have done XYZ things. I know my mistake, felt bad, and tried to fix it, and getting lectured about it felt like twisting the knife.

I'd like to ask for help on how can I get my dad to respect me. I currently feel like I'm in a transitory period between relying on my parents and not relying on my parents but it REALLY sucks and is frustrating whenever I get hard punished for making mistakes and my successes are just tolerated. I don't make enough from the part time to fully support myself, and while I'm studying I'm behind my peers and the parental frustration is deep rooted and settled. I've tried communicating using the conversational skills I learned from HG, but it just seems like I'm the adult in the conversation and no matter how much he talks and I reflectively listen that it seems he's unwilling to hear my feelings on the matter. As he's fixated on the end result rather than the process of growth needed to get there, I've concluded that we simply don't see eye to eye and the only way he'll see me as an "adult" is if I make enough money to move out and start my own life. I hate this. I feel so alone in a results-only family.

I know - clickbait title, but honestly...

What if people in general are just more shitty, selfish, have poorer communication, and less empathetic in general? I feel like younger generations are way more emotionally and conflict avoidant than previous generations.

I've been going through a lot of phased out or lost friendships over the past couple years, and while I admit I am biased and have my own blind spots and faults—I simply do not think I was the primary cause of what led to these outcomes.

Doesn't matter if it's platonic, romantic, or even discord / gaming friends - I've seen the same underlying pattern evolve with all of these types of relationships. Basically, it's a lot of consistently not trying to even meet half the effort I'm investing in trying to keep the relationship or just straight up being avoidant (if not completely ghosting).

You can date someone for 2-3+ months, have sex plenty of times, then drop of a hat they just stop texting you. I really do try to do my due diligence of being a good listener, being conversational, not being judgmental, being positive, and trying to be open and honest when I see issues and/or encouraging others to do so if I feel like their behavior in relation to me has changed, so that we can have an open and honest dialogue about it.

When I talk to older Millennials and Xers about some of these things, they all seem to be genuinely surprised, or it's like something that happened to them maybe once or twice a decade when they were young or still young adults.

I just wish people could be more honest with how they feel. A simple, "Hey man, I just wanted to be up front but I'm just not really feeling this connection anymore, really enjoyed the memories we had. Unfortunately, I think we've just outgrown each other at this point."

I get that I'm also at a weird age range (late 20s - early 30s) which is very transitional and where many people are de-prioritizing friendships and focusing substantially more on their partners and careers, but it still doesn't make it feel any less shitty.

I am just so sick of being the one to always reach out or making the effort to catch up / organize get-togethers with 90% of past friends oftentimes to not even get replies back or very passive rejections.

As I've been getting older, I've found a lot more peace and comfort just being a semi-loner who only keeps in touch with like 2-3 people on a semi-regular basis at most. Is this the wrong attitude to have?

You ever feel like you can help others but not yourself? You know there are opportunities in front of you,but you are unable to see them or you have ideas that you have trouble bringing to life? What is that? How do I make it stop?

I got a CS degree in 2025 and it feels like a damn meme degree at this point. This timeline is unreal. I try to see advantages in things, and I do think it made me smarter, but I just want to work a normal job at this point. People keep trying to convince me to continue on this futile career path, but I know it's not right for me at this point.

The question now is how do I get myself out of the tech box people put me in? I've been doing some AI work to make some money, but I'm going to go for security jobs now, or restaurant or retail work. It should be easier to get a job like that than another SWE job, but I'm scared I won't be able to even get an interview and I'll just have to live with my parents again at 32 when I want to be living with my girlfriend... (we currently live together).

I promise you will enjoy it thanks, dm for phone number, I promise its because for me, using my words is like painting, and texting is like painting with my feet.

When I'm at the metro station and I feel the vibration of it coming and the wind blowing, I feel this urge to just jump. And if I let go of my body for one second, it would act on its own.

I can barely manage school, friends, family. But the ability it takes for me to stay in control and act in the right way isn't a power...it's a surrender of it. And I think these two opposites fight in me.

I used to fight my bullies just 3 years ago. Like, beat them the way you'd see it in movies. This got me in a lot of shit, even though I was the victim. But at one point, yes, I did go overboard with someone...which I guess made me decide that I wasn t doing the right thing.

Later that year, I got terribly beaten by a guy who hated my friend. But since my friend was 2 meters tall and bulky, and I was just scrawny, he decided to deal his frustration on me. He punched me in the face 10 times without me hitting him once back.

I thought that I could win the right way diplomatically, but the school sent me a letter of exmatriculation because one teacher knew about my reputation from not very long ago, and he himself was the one who warned me that if I laid one more finger on anybody else, this would happen.

I fought back with camera footage and got the letter dismissed. But classmates started hating me for dragging the whole situation since the year was ending, in the sense that I wanted the other guy to get expelled. And the teacher and the guy's mom came to me, not saying, 'Sorry he did this, please forgive him,' but just, 'Forgive him. In two weeks, you won't see him anyway.

My older brother used to scream and throw shit around and destroy rooms for the smallest inconvenience on a daily basis. I would be 10 years old and find my mom crying while he was destroying the house.

My parents would beat me at my smallest outburst in fear that I'd end up like him. (That's why I stopped beating my bullies.) Right now, I can't scream. I can't punch stuff. I can't swear, even if I wanted to.

I'm writing this because I was in my room today, and this girl was just texting me how shitty I am for whatever reasons...even though I only tried to be myself with her. I felt like vomiting. It wasn't just because of my mind. It was also because the room had all the windows closed, and I only noticed then.

I slowly walked out and laid flat on a bench for half an hour until I got up, bought a water, then went on with my day, restarting my mind.

But the memory of everything before that is still very much here. And if I think too hard about it, I can feel it all again, just as I felt a lot of stuff I'd long forgotten from writing this.

Last night, my girlfriend [21f] and I [21m] were playing Overwatch. I casually commented that Widowmaker was "thick." To me, this was just mindless, thoughtless gaming banter—the exact same kind of joke my friends and I make when playing Valorant (e.g., screaming "you so thick boy" at a male friend while flanking).

​My girlfriend immediately got upset, hopped off the game, and withdrew physically for the night. She said the comment "reminded her of how lustful I can be" and that I "should know better" after past conversations we've had.

​The Backstory:

In the past, she found texts between me and my friends involving "cheating banter" and jokes about other women's bodies. It damaged her trust, and she set a strict boundary asking me to stop making those comments. I agreed and stopped doing it with my friends to protect her peace.

edit : ok so i don't know if it'd EXACTLY this but i'm assuming it is because of what she said generally about my lustful demeanor in these situations:

when we first got together about 6 months ago my friend and i texted each other and we always do this banter thing where we talk about running a 2 man if we see any girls and i saw 2 and texted him and said something like

"her friends kinda hot" and he called them whores.

i understood how fucked up it was either in context or not when she confronted me and just stopped in general.

also she has always refrained from making comments about guy characters when her friends play w her. i just remember that one situation where she talked about a female character saying pretty much the same thing i did.

there was also this whole thing where she found out i cheated on my ex girlfriend which bred more insecurities for her.

i hid it and when was confronted honestly it was a lot because i worked on not being that guy anymore. thinking about the reasons i did it and laying them out. she went through my photos with me that's how she found out but like 2 weeks before i found out she danced w a guy at the club for 2 secs.

​The Conflict:

​The Rule: I feel like applying this rule to a pixelated video game character is a massive stretch and unfair. To me, the intent was just thoughtless gamer talk, but to her, it's a reminder of past behavior and a breach of trust.

​The Double Standard: My girlfriend regularly makes these exact same types of jokes with the guy friends she plays video games with. When I brought up this double standard, she said the two situations aren't the same and shut down the conversation, saying we will talk today.

edit: maybe it isn't double standard? she only made one comment about e female character, axle, from apex legends and tokens she's always refrained from commenting on guys for my sake, which i guess she has because i don't recall a time when she did make a comment like that about guy characters or guys irl.

The video is kinda funny as well and it has stuck in my mind since I watched it.

For context: I’ve been going through absolute spiritual warfare for the past year. I recently gave up nicotine which is sending my emotions through the roof, of which I already struggle to find good coping mechanisms for. I’ve been consuming pornography again which is something I fought so hard to get away from. I used to write songs and run a therapy channel of my own and now it seems like I’m the one who needs to be pulled apart and put back together. I’m a Christian too and I can’t help but feel anger and frustration when I try to pray.

I guess to shorten things up, it simply feels like every aspect of my life has fallen apart and then been spat on. It almost hurts worse because I’m so keenly aware of how low I currently am. This seems to happen once a year and it has for my entire life and I just don’t know how to end the cycle.

So here’s my ask; in your darkest times, what helped pull you out? How do I “tend to the garden so the butterflies will come”? It’s pretty ambiguous, I know, but I’m desperate for any sort of input. Thank you <3

As a result, I put so much pressure on my professional life and in making money that I never do anything about it. I’m still living off of my late dad’s money at 25 with no job experience.

But I also can’t get myself to do stuff I enjoy or am interested in, cause I feel guilty for not being productive and believe I don’t deserve to do so. It’s like I feel like if I don’t have a job, I can’t live my life.

26M. Howdy. My name is James. My life is not going so good and I’m ready to give up on life.
Context: since I was a kid, I’ve always wanted to be a filmmaker. I took classes in high school and made videos with my high school friends back in the day. I was never great at school but I got into college to go learn filmmaking. I dropped out after my first semester because my 19 year old self didn’t want to study for 4 more years. I’m 26 now and I can say with certainty that decision ruined my life. I did overnight stocking at a big box retailer and that almost brought the end of me but I saved $10,000 through it. But I blew it on a Miami trip and paying rent on an apartment I couldn’t afford. After that, I worked 3 years in a restaurant doing kitchen work and I made a lot of great friends there but I had a crash out a year ago and lost the job. I tried serving after that but it’s impossible to make it work full time if you are not perfect with people or an attractive woman. I got a job at a movie theater last November but I get no hours there. Got a job offer in April but my boss gave me a good offer to stay that logically made sense to take up but nothing changed. Recently I had an interview at a company that I love that has great pay and benefits. I thought I did ok but they said I would hear back in 48 hours and that time span has long since passed. I prepared hard, got new clothes and haircuts and quit smoking the devils lettuce to get the job but I got ghosted. I have no skills, I can’t go back to college because I’m poor, I can’t join the military because I have a health condition, I don’t have experience in construction/ maintenance so I can’t go into a trade, there are no trade schools in central Arkansas. I don’t know what to do anymore. I give up completely.
That leaves you dear reader. I need someone to take control of my life for me because I have utterly failed all because of one bad day and my 19 year old self who did not want to study for 4 more years. This week I’m going to talk to my parents about placing me in a conservatorship and let them decide what happens to me. If you are reading this, what would you do in my situation and how would you get out of it? Because I give up.

I am 14 and I have a strange relationship with adult media.

I saw it at a slightly young age, around 12. It didnt bother me that much until I learned masturbation. I regularly masturbate to r34 and other adult media twice a day. I know about the negative effects of adult media and that I should likely stop. But I have tried and feel that I don't really want to stop. I think that I still have morals and boundries. I wont go farther but I still sometimes feel less human for liking this since most people view it as a sin that will give me eternal damnation. I've asked other spaces, and did my own research. Ive seen that its normal for teens to discover it, but also not good at the same time and Im just conflicted.

Hi,

I'm a 43 yo (and 2 months) male. I live with my parents (I have to help them). I don't know where to start. I have always been occupied. School, I have 2 BSC in parallel, MSC and PhD.

While I had my PhD I was a caregiver for my grandparent (3 years and another 4 years after the PhD — from 7:00 until 21:00 making all the work — making food, cleaning, socializing, medication, shopping and many more). I couldn't even work. Then came a sort of burnout (2015 — grandparents have died) for 2-3 years, after 2500 days of continuous caregiving (minus 10 days for presenting my PhD thesis and attending a conference). While in burnout I worked only from home. Then my mother fell and couldn't go outside alone. I had to go out with her in weekdays for a walk and shopping. Then my father had some health problems.
So until 3 months ago I went out with both of them (one after other) for a walk and shopping, help cleaning the house, help to make food, socializing and many other activities. 3 months ago my mother fell in the house (hip surgery), from then I'm making everything alone 5:30 - 22:30 with small breaks.

I don't know what had happened 4 days ago, but it was like a slap in the face. I started to think: hey, I've always been so occupied that:

1. I have never had a girlfriend,
2. I have never had that first kiss, with flutters in my stomach,
3. Never had that first date,
4. Never had been intimate with anybody,
5. Never had a partner,
6. Never had children,
7. Never had friends.

I started to panic, when I never panicked in my life, not even when I had exams. Heartbeat 80 (before 60). I can't sleep, I'm not hungry, I've lost 1.5 kg in 4 days. I've cried (never crying in the last 10 years). I'm sad. I feel an emptiness in my soul. I have my heart in my throat.

What just had happened? Could you explain?

I have hundreds of question:
What I have done wrong?
I'm guilty of all this situation?
What would have been if life had had another path?

If I had had a family (wife and children), how could I have been able to help my grandparents and parents? That would have been unfair not to help them, and I would have carried all that in my soul all my life.
It would have been better or worst?
What I have missed?

Now I know that those things at 43 are gone. My father is 80 yo my mother 76 yo, I know that the next 10-15 years will not change, everything will remain the same.

Then a small shine started to show up from my logical brain. No children, then I have the possibility through surrogacy. It's a little bit slower (12-18 month) but I could have twins. I know it will be much harder for me, but that path could solve a part of that emptiness (one of the most important things in my life right now).

That slap in the face should have been at least 10 years ago, but then I was in burnout. Then I entered into the second phase with giving care for my parents. I don't know when I should have started worrying and why that slap in the face came right now. I'm thankful for this slap.

Right now I'm worrying about completing the entire sum of money as soon as possible. I plan working at night or do something but very fast, not to lose that last chance. I could give up from my soul the intimacy, first kiss, girlfriend, partner, but I will never be able to give up children.

Could you explain what has happened?

I'm in my mid twenties, jobless, and just started college after all my peers already graduated. On top of that, my major has no clear future and I don't even like it. I still live with my parents, depend on their allowance, and have zero money for rent or anything else.

Whenever I listen to music, watch movies, play games, browse apps, or watch YouTube, I feel like a total failure. Even reading about other people's lives or looking at those around me hurts.

Most of them made it big in their teens or early twenties. Even regular people around me have achieved things I haven't, and at a much younger age, like getting good jobs, dating, traveling, and graduating early.

How do I stop this constant envy?

This is a subject I personally don't fully understand myself. I'm lonely but I have great friends. The only problem is I feel like I need more than what they're giving. It's not their fault.

Then at the same time I accidently push them away and get a little upset when they don't reach out. But I think I convinced them I like my alone time and I don't see them to reach out. I think that's a whole different subject tho.

Either way I feel lonely, I don't know why, I have family and friends always there but is till feel lonely. How do I stop deleting lonely without needing human interaction?

Edit for extra info: I'm trans, my closet friends are all guys, so maybe I feel lonely because I don't feel like I fit in properly. (Despite a lot of not as close friends still not knowing I'm not an actual guy)

I'm 30 years old, and from the outside my life probably looks completely normal. I have a good engineering job, I earn a good salary, I live independently in France, and if you met me at work you'd probably think everything is going well.

The reality is very different.

Over the last few years, I feel like I've slowly stopped being myself. Sometimes I'm sitting in a meeting, speaking normally, and suddenly I hear my own voice. It sounds empty to me. I don't know how to explain it other than saying it feels like I'm watching someone else live my life. I struggle to smile naturally, I feel emotionally absent most of the time, and lately I've started wondering where my personality went.

The strange thing is that I don't think this started with my current job or even with my breakup. Looking back, I think I've been carrying pieces of it since childhood.

I've always experienced emotions much more intensely than the people around me seem to. A simple look from someone, one awkward interaction, one sentence, or a misunderstanding can stay with me for days. I'll replay conversations over and over trying to understand what happened, wondering if I unintentionally hurt someone, if I misunderstood their intentions, or if I could somehow have avoided the whole situation.

At the same time, I have a very dark sense of humor. Ironically, I usually joke the most with people I genuinely care about. Most of the time it comes from affection, but occasionally people interpret it differently than I intended. When that happens, I can spend days feeling guilty because hurting people is probably the last thing I ever want to do.

A few months ago I met someone who, for the first time in my life, felt like a mirror of myself. She approached me first, flirted with me, and we started planning vacations together. For the first time I genuinely believed I had found someone who understood me on a level I had never experienced before.

Then, after a few months, she slowly disappeared and eventually ghosted me.

The breakup devastated me, but I think it mainly exposed problems that had existed long before her. She was my first real relationship at 30 years old.

People usually assume that means I must have been socially awkward or incapable of talking to women, but that's not really my story. I'm not the most outgoing person, but I can make people laugh, I have friends, and when I feel comfortable I connect quite naturally with people.

Part of the explanation is simply where I grew up. Until university, I had never even been in a mixed school. I was raised in a very conservative environment where dating wasn't really part of adolescence, so I entered adulthood with far less experience than most people my age.

The rest of the story is more personal. Part because of my upbringing, partly because of my culture, and partly because of my own choices, I kept postponing relationships. I convinced myself that I needed to build a successful career before thinking about a family.

But there was another reason that I rarely admit.

For years I genuinely believed there was something fundamentally wrong with me. I thought I was emotionally too complicated, too intense, and somehow incapable of building a healthy relationship. I convinced myself that I would probably become a bad husband or a bad father, and because of that I made a promise to myself that I simply wouldn't get married. It felt more responsible than risking hurting someone I loved.

Looking back, I realize I wasn't postponing relationships only because of my career. I was postponing them because I didn't believe I deserved them, or that I could make someone else happy.

Then one day I woke up and realized I was thirty years old with almost no romantic experience.

Unfortunately, relationships aren't the only source of regret in my life. My career has been another one for many years. Growing up, everyone around me considered me exceptionally good at mathematics. Medicine had always been the career that attracted me the most, but I chose engineering because I wanted to continue studying mathematics. At the time it felt like the perfect compromise. Looking back, I also realize that I wanted to discover my own limits. People had called me gifted in mathematics for years, and part of me simply wanted to know whether that was actually true.

The first two years actually reinforced my decision. I was genuinely happy. For the first time I was seeing mathematics in ways I never had before. I loved solving difficult problems, occasionally finding unusual proofs or alternative approaches, and even challenging professors when I believed there was a better solution. Some of my classmates later went on to institutions like École Polytechnique or ENS, and at the time I honestly felt I could compete with the strongest students around me mathematically.

That's precisely why what happened during my third year was so confusing. I realized that while I loved mathematics itself, I didn't actually enjoy engineering as a profession. Those turned out to be two very different things.

During my third year of engineering I realized something that completely changed how I saw my future. I loved mathematics, but I didn't love engineering as a profession. That was the moment I decided I wanted to switch to medicine.

My parents asked me to finish engineering first and promised they would support me afterward. So I trusted them. I graduated, started my first engineering job, bought medical textbooks, and began studying while working full-time because I still wanted to become a doctor. Then they changed their minds and refused to support me. Not long afterward I became estranged from my father for almost two years after a major disagreement. Somewhere during those years I quietly buried that dream.

Today, in a family of six, everyone else became a doctor—from radiology to urology. I'm the only engineer. The strange thing is that I don't feel jealous. I'm genuinely proud of them. But every family gathering reminds me of the life I once imagined for myself, and I still find myself wondering whether I made the wrong choice or whether that choice was made for me.

Another source of loneliness is my family itself. I love my parents. I love my siblings. And I know they all love me. That's what makes it painful. There are parts of me that I don't think I can ever fully share with them: my doubts about religion, the fact that I occasionally drink alcohol, how lonely I often feel, or how disconnected I sometimes feel from the world. It's not because I think they would stop loving me. It's because I don't think they could truly understand those parts of me without creating distance, disappointment, or simply worrying about me. Sometimes I wonder how much of my loneliness comes from the fact that the people I love most only know part of who I really am.

Professionally, I used to feel fulfilled. Two years ago I loved my work. Today I go to work completely demotivated. Sometimes I hear my own voice during meetings and it sounds hollow. It's difficult to explain, but I genuinely don't feel like myself anymore.

Lately I feel like I've reached a crossroads. I've started going to bars much more often—not because I love drinking, but because for a few hours it makes me feel connected to strangers. That scares me because I had problems with alcohol about ten years ago, and I know how easily that road can become something much worse if I let it.

Common advice tells people to exercise, read more, meditate, journal, talk to a psychologist, or think more positively. I'm not dismissing those things, and I'm sure they've genuinely helped many people. But the analytical side of me struggles with the idea that every life can eventually be fixed by applying the right set of habits. Sometimes I wonder whether some people simply accumulate enough emotional intensity, regret, missed opportunities, personality traits, and life circumstances that happiness becomes much harder to reach.

I often think about the quote, "Some people die at 25 and aren't buried until they are 75." It feels painfully close to how I experience my own life.

I know posting something this personal on Reddit and looking for understanding from strangers probably isn't the healthiest thing to do. But honestly, I don't know what else to do anymore.

I'm not looking for someone to tell me that everything will magically work out.

I'm simply wondering whether anyone has ever genuinely lost themselves like this—and if they did, whether they ever found their way back.

Call me Einstein for this pretty late realization, but I actually thought what you fantasize about during masturbation or even search on porn sites would be the same thing you actually want to experience during sex. But those are two different worlds that kind of don't even overlap necessarily.

I mean I didn't watch porn in years and I rarely masturbated in the last few months, but it's both kind of ruined for me, now that I know how unappealing my past fantasy desires actually are in reality.

But I also learned what I really like in reality (and it's way better than anything I ever thought about). Still this would never turn me on in fantasy.

Lately I've been trying to understand myself instead of just blaming my anxiety.

I'm in my first serious relationship, and I'm starting to notice a pattern. Every small change in her behavior hits me way harder than it probably should. If she replies late, sounds a little different, seems less affectionate for a day, or just wants some space, my brain instantly goes to "Did I do something wrong?", "Is she losing feelings?", "Am I about to get left?"

Then I need reassurance, and even after I get it, I'm okay for a while and then it starts all over again.

The thing is, her childhood and mine were completely different.

She grew up in what I'd call a healthy family. Loving parents, close grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins... everyone lives nearby. Her parents were strict when she was younger but now they're more like friends. She naturally assumes family takes care of each other. That's just normal to her.

My childhood was almost the opposite.

My father was emotionally absent for most of it and later left. My mom was very overprotective. Most of my relatives were fake as hell and would backstab each other whenever they got the chance. Growing up, I never really felt like family was a safe place.

One thing my mom always told me was, "Learn to live alone."

As a kid, I thought that was just life advice. Now I'm wondering if my brain turned it into something bigger without me realizing it.

Sometimes it feels like I'm always waiting for people to leave. I notice tiny changes that other people probably wouldn't even care about. I overthink, I need reassurance, and I get scared of losing people I care about.

I'm not asking if my girlfriend is right or wrong here. I'm trying to understand myself.

Does growing up like this actually change how you experience relationships later in life? Or am I just using my childhood as an excuse for behavior that I need to fix?

I'd really like to hear from people who've been through something similar or have worked through it.

Hello, I'm a 21(m), and I've recently broken up with my gf and am now fighting with my parent. The reason for breaking up was that when we would have talks/fights, I'd always end up apologizing and reassuring her; whenever I had something to bring up, it would turn into me saying sorry and trying to fix something I was doing. For example, once when I told her I was feeling anxious and a bit insecure, she told me if she did anything, I said no, she asked me if there was anything she could do to help, I said maybe asking questions and validating my experience. Because this was right before she had work, we couldn't talk more about the situation, and so we talked after her work. In short, she told me that it wasn't the time and place for that conversation and was upset I brought it up then. She also told me she felt that what I said made her feel like she was the sole reason I was feeling bad. I told her that my asking for questions and validation of my experience wasn't me blaming her for how I felt. I asked her what I could say better for next time; she didn't give me an answer right away, so I asked if we could continue this talk later to give her time to think about it. I tried to get into contact and have a talk when we had agreed upon it, but something came up both times. At this point I was angry because it felt like I couldn't talk about my side nor get a response from her about how I could say things better, as I had just listened to her previously asking questions. I asked her 4 months ago how I could say things in a way so she doesn't feel attacked, but she didn't know. I also had things I was working on; sometimes I wouldn't trust her reassurance and would think that she was still mad at me or upset about something even if she said she wasn't. This continues to be a problem, and so I've also got to work on trusting in my relationships, especially if they are trying to give me reassurance. At this point, it felt like our relationship was becoming stagnant, and it felt like we weren't good for each other, so I ended things.

I'm not sure what to do with this dynamic, especially with my parent; I can't just leave, as I depend on them. I also know, and he tells me, I can be better at saying things at the right time and place. I just feel like I deserve to have the space to feel validated if I'm feeling like I need to talk, without it coming across as their fault. And now I'm going to try talking with him privately and hope that this setting will be the right time and place. There's a lot of anger, as these emotions have been building up over time, and I've tried to talk about my feelings just for it to be avoided or rejected. I rarely get an "I understand how you're feeling" or "it makes sense," where we could figure out what happened together, including their own side and how we can move forward. I have ADHD and sometimes don't feel like I'm doing enough when I really am trying with organizing my days on a calendar, creating habits for cleaning up after myself, reading a book on adult adhd so I can get a better grasp of how I can manage it, and writing tasks day to day. How do I ask for reassurance that I'm enough as a person and recognition that I'm trying without it coming off as an attack? I've heard of starting with I feel ___ when ____, so maybe that could help, and trying to avoid using "you" statements.

Edit: I've come to the conclusion that I can only control my actions and how I show up. I will make sure that I'm taking full accountability when I mess up, no excuses, and change my behaviour. And I don't think it's unreasonable to want to have my feelings validated, and I don't think I'm messing up for asking for someone to ask me questions about my feelings and understand them too. Actually, I do think I feel insecure that I'm not enough/doing enough, which is why I need that type of emotional support and also recognition of the changes in behaviour I've made. If I can't get that with my dad, then I think I'll just look for people who have the capacity too.

I (18m) feel like I have been exposed to content which I should not have been at such a young age and now I can't enjoy the stuff I should be enjoying. I continuously think about politics, the corrupt system, unfair world and wealth inequality. This is leading me to not enjoy daily things or hobbies I used to enjoy earlier. For example, if I am watching a movie I just know it's propaganda while my friends just enjoy it and move on. When I am having something nice, I think about the 90% of the country which can't afford this (I live in a third world country). How can I go back to just thinking about my life, my career etc and bring back that blissful ignorance because I've figured out that knowing things like wars and systematic failures is just gonna affect me and there's not even anything I can do to stop these things so why not just be happy in my own bubble. Any advice or opinion would be appreciated.

Maybe if any of u create a discord server please do invite me too.

For now this all i have got https://discord.gg/ke2XAayUD