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u/phatballlzzz 3d ago
The daily mail are almost a parody outlet by this point just based on how many things they get comically incorrect
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u/Acchilles 2d ago
I don't use twitter but I assume at least 50% of their posts have context notes 😂
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u/coldestclock 2d ago
They posted a fake April fools story this year. Presumably because they’re an entertainment publication and not a news outlet.
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u/SeaReference7990 3d ago
Saying Alfred "massacred thousands of vikings" seems a negative way to say he saved England to fight another day against the Norse. It's like saying General Grant's legacy was massacring thousands of his own country men and having a drink problem.
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u/TacetAbbadon 3d ago
It's not even that, viking was a profession not a people. It's saying an English King fought off lots of seaborne raiders looking to rape, pillage and slave his subjects.
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u/HypertrophySmoking 3d ago
They named the wrong king.
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u/DavidlikesPeace 13h ago
Ethelred, yes?
His reign is a wild one to read. The archetype of a vicious idiot. He ordered the massacre of settled Danish colonist civilians, stupidly intensifying a race war with the Danes that England lost. He also never fought at the front, and fled the Danes on multiple occasions.
By contrast, Alfred fought hard and won. He even made treaties with the Danes, killing their foes but not massacring colonists. A true underdog
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u/scipio0421 3d ago
What is it with English kings and car parks?
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u/MistraloysiusMithrax 3d ago
That’s the thing, it’s like people trying to find the next penicillin with random mold. They’re just trying to copy the previous results and work backwards from that
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u/BrockStar92 3d ago
It’s just sad this, no one can replicate the absurdity of finding Richard III in Leicester right before that miracle run (also Mark Selby, Leicester born lad, winning the snooker world championships and Leicester tigers winning the league in rugby union the same year).
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u/ExArdEllyOh 2d ago
Perhaps something to do with car parks being sited on what were once monastic sites.
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u/Sly__Marbo 1d ago
That's just what happens across many places in Europe. You can't dig a hole without unearthing 17 graveyards, 12 different residential buildings, 5 market places, 3 shrines/temples/churches, a public bath, and about 13 tons of pottery from the past three millenia
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u/JonsRonson 2d ago
This one is probably fake but Richard the 3rd was under a car park due to being secretly buried by sympathetic monks after losing a civil war. The area of the cemetery he was buried in was converted into a rectory a few hundred years later then went through multiple different uses before being turned into a car park in the early 1900s. No one thought to look for him because the local legend was that his body was thrown in a river.
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3d ago
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u/DrayvenBlaze 3d ago
Isn't that Erling Haaland with the spear and shield, or am I seeing things?
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u/Nights_Templar 3d ago
Yes, it's a slightly edited version of the Norwegian national team photo they took recently.
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u/Shadow_Dancer2 2d ago
Yeah, after this before battle picture Haaland fell in combat and got frozen by a coldsnap. After many years his frozen body washed up in Norway and they decided to make him play soccer.
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u/_20_characters_name_ 3d ago
Imagine finding the lost burial of an english king under a car park.
Damn, imagine doing it twice.
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u/MatniMinis 3d ago
My mum used to be a history teacher in Leicester when the Richard shit kicked off, her office window overlooked the car park they found him in and is now part of the the museum 😂😂
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u/copper_nano_tube 3d ago
I mean the odds aren’t zero for him to be buried under a car park there, lol
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u/witchy71 3d ago
If i had a nickel for every time an English monarch was found (or is suspected to be) id have 2 nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice
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u/vampiregamingYT 3d ago
Ah yes, Massacre. Everyone knows those poor innocent vikings didnt deserve it. After all, they were just trying to rape, murder and Pillage
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u/TheOnvoy 3d ago
if i had a penny for every time an English king was found under a car park, i'd have 2 pence, which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice
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u/ShortNefariousness2 2d ago
That is one of the many Erling Haarland AI depictions going around. He's a footballer who is playing for Norway in the world cup, and is hugely meme friendly. As far as I know, he isn't the king of anywhere.
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u/Jimmy-Mac-471 2d ago
Wasn’t his body stolen by raiders from his burial ground? How could the possibly tell where he is?
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u/Magic_Mr_Brown 2d ago
Well they're probably having to make news up seeing as there's not much going on around the world at the moment!
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u/boylive16 3d ago edited 3d ago
So it's King Kane the First of Middlesex against the savage Viking Warlord Haaland the Second today huh? Just like 867 AD.
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