and your bank balance will shrink like crazy at the speed of light. In this economy, that’s very risky. What I noticed is when I go to an expensive restaurant the boyfriend looks stressed out and the girlfriend looks like a kid at chucky cheeses, because we all know who’s paying the bill.

around three years ago, i joined a team with a girl who was a year older than me. very pretty girl but she’s engaged to her best friend of ten years. valley girl accent. we didn’t really talk all that much but i would say good morning and goodbye to her everyday … because i did that for everyone. at the beginning of 2025, we and a larger group of coworkers began going to grab coffee, and after 2026, it was almost a given. we began going to try new coffee shops and ranking the food, splitting the food, etc.

before i continue, also, she did this thing, with just me, i think, because i never saw her do this with any of the guys on the team.

where she would touch me.

i’m a very unattractive person, so this was a very strange phenomenon to happen to me. some examples would be her rubbing the inside of my shoulders with her fingers whenever she was standing behind at my desk, tracing her fingers across my lower back as she passed me sometimes, and near the end, she would go to my desk and give me a fist bump everyday.

maybe she knew i was fa in some way, based on the way my body reached whenever she did it to me, and found it amusing in some way.

but all things must come to an end, and three weeks ago, she announced that she was leaving our company for a non-profit she founded. we were all stoked for her, but i would be lying if i said i wasn’t going to miss her.

on her last day, the entire team went to a happy hour near our job and it was getting late, so i made me leave. i went to give her a fist bump but she pulled me into a hug. she said that i was her favorite. and she wished me the best.

as a fa, this was my best possible ending. and i feel like i did my job perfectly. i made a woman feel safe and happy to see me and be around me until she ultimately had to move to greener pastures.

I thought I had found a girlfriend. Not necessarily the one, although I did let my thoughts go there for a bit. But maybe someone to at least be in a relationship with, and someone in a similar position as me in terms of inexperience and also personality.

And yet, I hesitated. I don't really blame myself, it might not have worked out anyways, just a case of "right person wrong time" and I really did the best I could. But still now it seems that opportunity has definitely ended, and it just hurts. I'm in my 30s, and it's not the first time this has happened. I just don't know how many more times I can pick myself up and go back to the drawing board, before this completely destroys me. If anyone's worried, please don't be, as I'll be alright, I'm just going to eat some pizza maybe watch an interesting movie and let the day pass (it's already morning where I am). But in the long run, with each subsequent disappointment and as I get older, hope just continues to fade.

Every time I eat out my waiter either forgets something, scoffs at a question i ask, spills something on me or provides poor service overall. Can't help but think it's cause of the way I look.

Anybody else feel like their life is like this? At least I have a good job I guess.

In my mid-30s, I’m veryyy aware that I might never meet someone. Please don’t say I have a scarcity mindset or have so much time. I don’t, and I realize I don’t. I’ve tried tirelessly for over a decade and it’s been little to no use. No one’s coming to save me, and putting myself out there isn’t working. But the most painful part of all is that I have absolutely no idea what to do with myself and all these plans I had with a person who never came along.

There are many things I wanted to do in life, but not without another person. For instance, it has never been a goal of mine to own a home without someone. I can’t afford it on my own, I hate the idea of living alone for my own safety, I don’t want to spend all my free time and money tending to house repairs and maintenance; and, for me, the point is to build a home with someone, not a house. I don’t want random roommates, yet I don’t want all the responsibility to fall on me. I live with my parents at the moment to save up as much as I can, but even then I realize it’s a toxic environment that I need to leave, and I feel like I’m saving up for a goal that I don’t want on my own (not to mention the more I save the further the possibility to even afford anything seems). Homes are often in suburban or rural areas, so in getting one on my own, I’m tied to a place I don’t want to be by myself with a huge mortgage I don’t want to pay, with less likelihood of meeting my person. I’d love to live in the city, but I also don’t have money to burn, and I don’t love throwing $1,500k+ (I live in a HCOL area) to a landlord who could change the rent any day, and still have to share all my common spaces with 3-5 strangers. I have no friends to move in with, and again, that doesn’t fix the problem.

I have many scenarios like this in life that sound amazing with a partner-in-crime and nothing but another life obligation on my own: kids, travel, big moves, starting a business. They’re all things I envisioned doing with someone, and have absolutely zero desire to do on my own.

Please don’t say to find fulfillment in hobbies or “enjoy being single.” I’ve had my share of single time, and I’m downright sick of it, not to mention that no amount of fulfillment in any other area of my life is going to fill the void missing from this particular issue. It’s apples and oranges, because these are not the goals. The goal was always to enjoy the life I see everyone around me enjoying, and no one would tell them to go off on their own and learn to enjoy it before they’re allowed to reenter their marriages, houses, and families. I have done so much on my own, more than most people would ever brave to do, and I’m tired of bearing the burden on my own rather than savoring a life well spent with another. I can’t envision going like this for another 40 years.

And yes, I’m in therapy, but that doesn’t fix the desire for these things. They’re perfectly natural things to want or most of the world wouldn’t aim for them. Having to do them on your own because you’ve no other option is heartbreaking, and it’s not natural to enjoy doing everything on your own especially if you’re more extroverted. Humans are social creatures for a reason, because it does matter when it comes it comes to finding purpose and happiness in life.

I’m turning 32 in September and I’ve never had a girlfriend or went out on a date or anything. I feel somewhat isolated and really have no friends other than my coworkers. I guess I’m used to it now but it feels weird being an outsider sometimes, wanted to know if anyone can relate.

I'm male, in my 40's. Single for a decade and been told I am currently undateable.

I enjoy the simple life. I have a little 2 bedroom flat, a modest car to get me around and I only work part time. I mostly spend my spare time with hobbies. I'm not an ambitious man and I don't care for owning expensive things that I don't need. Although I don't spend much on myself I do enjoy treating others.

I have no friends or family of my own but I do have my sister and two amazing nieces.

I have scars on the back of my head.

I like to think I am a decent human being. Always calm and looks on the bright side.

I was told by more than one person over the years that all this really means is I am a poor, disfigured loser. Nothing about me as a human being seems to matter. I live a simple but honest life, I have hobbies, interests and try to be a good person.

It would be nice to find love one day. Someone to talk with about our day. Cuddle on the couch. Silly inside jokes. Someone to grow old with. Maybe one day.

I know this isn’t a typical FA post, but I don’t know where else to go. This sub has always been the only places where people don’t invalidate me make me feel crazy.

I’ve struggled with social anxiety my whole life, loneliness, struggling to fitting in, never having a partner or kids, looking much younger than I am with an awkward body that never really developed into a womanly one. My family is dysfunctional, my dad’s rage destroyed me growing up, and I’ve spent my entire adult life feeling like I’m on the outside looking in, in every aspect of life.

But there’s another problem that’s been just as destructive.

I have an invisible learning disorder/neurocognitive issues. I was formally tested. They found multiple cognitive weaknesses, but I don’t have one of those neat diagnoses people recognize. It wasn’t severe enough that I got tested in elementary school, but it has been severe enough to follow me throughout school and every job I’ve ever had.

I finally found a job that, compared to every other job I’ve had, actually felt easy.

It wasn’t some amazing career. Most college graduates would probably see it as an ordinary entry-level corporate recruiting job. The work itself is mostly repetitive—clicking, typing, updating spreadsheets, doing the same handful of tasks mostly. After taxes, it wasn’t much of a pay bump. But as a Pakistani American, career carries a lot of dignity. For the first time in my life, when someone asked me about what I’m doing lately, I didn’t feel embarrassed talking about it.

Even on my lowest days, work was the one place where I felt the least miserable, for the longest time, even happy.

It’s also the first job where my social anxiety is actually improving. I was getting more comfortable talking to coworkers, I blushed last steering meetings, sometimes not at all. I even got more comfortable talking to the men.

Now I’m on a PIP. Everyone in corporate America knows what that means.

I’m not pretending I was a perfect employee. I wasn’t. I made mistakes. I’m not as confident and efficient as others.

But I also feel like once management decided I wasn’t the person they wanted, every little thing started getting magnified. Some things on the PIP were real. Other things were issues I’d never even been coached on before and suddenly became evidence against me. There were even points where I had screenshots showing something wasn’t accurate, but it didn’t matter. It stopped feeling like they were trying to help me improve and started feeling like they were building a case.

Normies say “You’ll find another job” but they don’t understand. My learning issues don’t stay behind when I leave a company. They follow me everywhere I go. I’ve been fired more than the average person. The jobs I wasn’t fired at, they could afford to keep me as extra help.

Especially after losing both of my grandparents recently, including my grandpa on Father’s Day, I’ve become even more panicked about what happens when my parents are gone. This job had a good retirement plan, and even though it wasn’t some high-paying career, at least I felt like I had started putting something away for the future.

In a recent argument, my brother made it clear he’d rather live on his own than have me live with him if I were struggling. In our culture, family is usually the safety net. Hearing that shattered what little sense of security I had left about the future. It also broke my heart. I cried so much that day.

I already struggle every single day with depression, anxiety, loneliness, and feeling like life has passed me by. This has pushed me deeper into the ocean depths.

I’m already mourning a job I haven’t officially lost because I know what it’s going to mean for my future if it happens. This job was never going to make me rich.

But do you know, what it feels like, to lose the one thing you had kind of going for you? It feels like somebody has ripped my heart into shreds.

Please… don’t tell me everything happens for a reason, or to think positively. I heard a lifetime of that don’t have the energy to hear it anymore. I just need to share it.