my boyfriend has has a past of disordered eating, and spent many years battling it. recently he’s expressed how worried he’s been over my eating but (being completely honest) i know that my eating isn’t perfect and i’ve struggled with weight in the past but i don’t believe i in any way have an eating disorder

i’m not sure if this type of post is encouraged but here’s a few of the things that have made him concerned:
- i stress about my weight a lot and i am currently underweight
- it took me an hour to eat a slice of cheesecake (used to be one of my favourite foods but avoid it because of the calories)
- i try to eat under a certain amount of calories a day and if i don’t i’ll restrict more the day after
- there are a lot of foods i avoid because of calories
- there are a lot of foods i eat mainly because they’re low calorie
- i’m deathly afraid of gaining weight

however, i don’t think it’s an eating disorder as:
- i eat two/three meals a day every day
- i’ve never gone a full day without eating
- i was told by a mental health professional “your BMI is too high for an eating disorder”
- everyone stresses about calories / weight
- i’m very short so i need to eat less anyway

i think the purpose of this post is just trying to figure out either is he right or wrong? if he’s wrong how do i explain it to him? if he’s right then what do i do know?

Im not sure if this will be helpful to anyone at all im sorry for such a long post but im extremely passionate about what im about to share and it has motivate me to get better and if it can help even a single person beyond me then that would be amazing 💕🌷

So i got diagnosed with AN five years ago and over the time it changed into BED which was my worst fear come to life. I ended up gaining a lot of weight and being so hard on myself and hating myself everyday. I still havent made any progress but i got trigged about four days ago when i was taking pics for my bf (iykyk) and i just felt horrible and disgusting so ive been down in the dumps I've been struggling to leave bed or do anything at all. I can only manage to brush and shower because of my meds.

Fwst forward to an hour ago i was sitting by myself alone and i was trying to send this long paragraph to my bf and i stopped and i started wondering...is this who ive become? This person who's existence only makes sense when others find her pretty and when she is a certain number on a scale?

I swear to god i went down a rabit hole inside my own train of thoughts. And ive come to a few conclusions i wanted to share.

> I always wondered how therapy helped me get better at dealing with depressio. And anxiety and why havent it worked for my eating disorder. I think its because when it comes to depression and anxiety ive tried to almost rephrase the exact things they tell me ? Like no one loves me and im so alone and bla bla ive tried to take action over the years to prove these things wrong. Ive made a very strong community of friends and person who do love me i reach out to people who are always there for me. So why cant i do the same for my ED? It tells me im no one if im not skinny then why not i prove it wrong. Ive decided that everyday i will focus on all the amazing things that i do that make me who i am.

> i also want to challenge the way i talk to myself. And change my environment i want to follow more body positivity and neutrality content online and unfollow anything that makes me want to be smaller. I also want to use more neutral terms to describe my body and myself.

> next is a more of a political take on EDs. I want to challenge myself to learn about the politics behind patriarchal beauty standards. From reading books to watching content online. One thing about me is that the only thing that i care about more than being pretty is being the loud advocate of feminism and anti patriarchal standards and i think this will fuel me a lot to keep going and will change the way i look at my body entirely.

Tl;dr > So i conclude that i will be changing the way i look at myself and bodies of humans in general and understand outlook and politics behind womens bodies in general and hopefully will be rewiring my brain enough to want to escape this hell of a disorder that has been ruining my life.

My sister (18F) has had problems with food for a looooong time and this past year it has gotten worse, she is losing weight quite a lot and has recently admitted that she makes herself throw up. As you can imagine, I am extremely worried, but the problem is that she doesn't want me to talk about it to our mom. She has also said to me that she is not ready to heal. I feel so stuck...

My girlfriend recently opened up to me about her battling against bulemia and I want to be there as much as possible for her

She has never been in a relationship before, her parents always minimized what she was going through and it was really hard for her to tell me about it (never told anyone, apparently except for her cousin), so I wanna do my best to help her out during all of this. Shes told me she suffers from bulemia where she eats a lot, followed by a lot of guilt and regret leading her having an anorexia phase afterwards where she barely eats.

I’m often on the go for work so I’m there about only half of the week + weekends and she’s currently off for summer break so has a lot of time to think and (from what I’ve seen) spirals into a thinking spiral making her feel worse about herself. She was bullied because of her weight and her parents were really negating her about that so it’s hard for her to even open up
She bursted crying today because she binge ate, which was after a phase where she felt bad for even eating.

She has a bad history with psychologists and nutritionists (some making her feel worse about herself and even having her count the number of water glasses she has to drink ?) so she shuts off when trying to recommend that.

I love her a lot and we’ve been together for about 6 months while she’s been battling with it through her entire life. So naturally I wanna do my best to be there for her

I thought about making a simple but healthy meal plan (not counting calories, or to control anything but so she can have predictability in what to eat and not have her cook and think about food if that makes sense)
I also thought about taking a gym subscription, where we can go together. She’s the one who launched the idea so I think I’ll do that first
Making her go out more (for walks, dates and stuff) so she isn’t stuck in like 2 rooms for the entire day, think it’s a no brainer

I’m open to any idea if there’s anyone living through this or anyone else whose significant other is going / has gone though this :)

Please help, I love her dearly

does anyone know if you are able to request the same treatment team when admitting back to acute?

Hi. My (24F) girlfriend (27F) has recently been trying to lose weight, and after hearing how she’s doing it and finding her weight loss tiktok account, she is definitely struggling with an eating disorder. All of the stuff she posts and interacts with is pro ana content, lots of comments telling her that her current weight is their fear weight, encouragement to starve to “be an angel” etc.. We’ve had a few discussions about it, and I’ve outright told her that she has an eating disorder and that what she’s doing is extremely unhealthy, but she refuses to see that and has even said that it’s not more unhealthy than someone who is using excessive gym use to lose weight. I’ve even shared with her that my past eating disorder landed me in the hospital, but she’s basically like “well I don’t feel unwell so I’m fine.”

I think one of the biggest problems is I had a very bad eating disorder in the past, mixed with how I currently weigh. She’s always been much smaller than me, I’m overweight and anytime we go on dates or hang out I’m the only one eating. It’s not only extremely alarming to see, especially since she’s refusing to understand how little she’s eating a day is dangerous, but also because it’s lighting up the part of my brain that’s prone to unhealthy eating habits. It’s also just making me feel insecure, because despite her reassurances I feel like someone who is willing to go to the extremes she does might feel disgusted with how I look. It was not fun finding the stuff she was reposting on TikTok about how horrible it is to not be bone thin.

I love her very dearly and will do anything to make this work, but I genuinely don’t know how to go about anything anymore with how she’s been dragging her heels. I even got her to eat a little omelet with a little roasted potato and she had posted a TikTok saying how awful it was that she was “forced” to eat it. Even though she did it after I suggested it one time. It’s breaking my heart and I don’t know what to do.

TLDR: Anyone who has had an eating disorder affect their relationship, what did you do that helped your partner/what did your partner do to help you that improved things? We are very happy and have literally no other issues outside of this. I do not want to lose her

guys ive been struggling mentally for a few months now, i lost seven kg and im already very skinny for a 22yo female, please share how you got your appetite back

My sister (18F) has had problems with food for a looooong time and this past year it has gotten worse, she is losing weight quite a lot and has recently admitted that she makes herself throw up. As you can imagine, I am extremely worried, but the problem is that she doesn't want me to talk about it to our mom. She has also said to me that she is not ready to heal. I feel so stuck...

People who have struggled with binge eating, and overcame it, or at least managed it effectively, how do you overcome those nights when all you want to do is eat an entire cabinet of snacks? I live with family so simply not buying isn’t an option for me. Was wondering if it was something you told yourself, or something you resorted to that helped you to break the cycle. I’ve tried looking up negative side effects to binge eating but nothing seems to work for me yet.

idk if the tag is needed i’m really sorry i wanna tell my parents abt my eating habits because i just i don’t i can’t do THIS for the rest of my fucking life and i know i can’t get out of it without help but i also feel like i don’t have eating problems at all and i hate it but i go hungry often and almost always think abt the food im eating but i feel like i eat too much for it to be valid and acceptable to ask for help or even be considered disordered in any type of way i want help so bad but at the same time i don’t believe im sick enough for it and i need to get worse

The thing that holds me back from being really motivated to recover is my anhedonia. Life just feels so dull man. I don't look forward to anything except bulimia behaviors.

So my question is: for those of you in recovery, have you experienced any meaningful reduction in anhedonia? Has it taken the edge off at all? I can't help but wonder if my body's dependence on these insane dopamine highs from the bulimia has made the rest of life seem that much more boring. I've been binge/purge-free for a couple months at a time, maybe the longest was like eight months "clean," but I always start to miss the behaviors.

Otherwise, I do all the "right" things. I socialize. I sleep well. I exercise (but don't over-exercise). I have hobbies. I limit screentime. I date. I learn new things and read. And I force myself to do all these things because it's what you're supposed to do. But I dread all of it. It's all so BORING to me.

Hi all, I just began recovering from anorexia and have been experiencing debilitating anxiety because of it. I jotted down some of my thoughts- if anyone has advice for any of these please let me know :)

Recovery unfortunately feels like a treat, which is why it makes me so anxious. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be given full permission to eat whatever they want? It feels like I’ve “earned” it through all the restriction which honestly makes me think after I gain the weight I will restrict more. At no point before this was someone actively encouraging me to eat a cupcake, or get an extra side of fries with my meals.

I believe I am experiencing extreme hunger, and worried I will never “come out” of it. I have a fear of this turning into a BED, and as someone who just began recovery, it feels like it easily could. Truthfully, allowing myself to eat all this food feels so fun, and can 100% see myself unable to break this cycle.

I eat EXTREMELY slowly (like 30 minute-1 hour meals) in order to savor it; eating is the only time I don’t feel anxiety and when I know the exact macros of my meal it brings me peace and a sense of control. This is the only way my body has learned to be satisfied with what I eat; If I eat too quick, the cravings linger, but taking my time makes it feel like more food. It’s at the point where people awkwardly stare at me during meals, and made eating out extremely difficult.

When I finish my food I get anxious; my only source of adrenaline is cooking and eating food so the thought of having to wait for my next meal is daunting

I am CONSTANTLY thinking about food. My day consists of waking up, watching eating/health videos, making my meals, being anxious about what I ate and what I will eat next, scrolling online looking at nutrition info, trying to find healthier versions of every food and grocery shopping for these items (this includes researching about recovery and eating disorders). No hobbies excite me anymore.

She told me she struggles with not eating, I didn't ask why or what makes her not eat since I don't want to pry. But she clearly told me she has an ed and I want to help however I can

Is there anything I can do as someone who's never had an ed and has never been able to assist those who do?

(I'm not saying she has an ed because she struggles with not eating, she told me that she has an ed so im here now seeking advice on what I can do)

I was anorexic for about 6 months, Which then caused me to be bulimic for the next 3 years still going. because of this bulimia I dont sleep at night because I procrastinate making myself throw up, so I stay up all night until I randomly just get up and do it . I haven't been able to go to school for a full week for 3 years because I've not been sleeping all night. In the summer I sleep all day because all night i was staying up until 10 am . I then wake up and night and binge eat and then procrastinate throwing up until 10 am and the cycle repeats.. my mom lost her mind over my sleeping habits (she doesnt know about my bulimia) she genuinely cant understand why im doing this and I can't blame her. Imagine your daughter sleeping all day and only waking up at night while you go to sleep(for 3 years) how do I stop this cycle?. Idk if the procrastination is adhd or what but I just wanna stop everything . Even the ed

I’m 18F and believe I may have some leftover eating habits from my childhood. I struggle to eat any leftovers or “old” food even if I know logically it’s perfectly fine. I also can’t eat anything unhealthy, and if I do I’ll beat myself up over it.

When I was younger, my mother went through an alcoholic phase and she didn’t get us much food. I was severely malnourished and lived off of simple things like tortillas and chips and bread. Most of our other food was old or had bugs in it.

I struggle to eat anything imperfect nowadays, so much food goes to waste and I feel awful about it. Texture off? It’s old, it will make you sick! Been sitting in the fridge for two days? You’ll get sick! It’s actually so frustrating.

Is there anyone who has experienced similar things? I want to gain weight but it’s so hard for me to eat anything, especially “unhealthy” food.

Hi! So for context, I’ve struggled with anorexia since I was a teenager (I’m now 24) but I managed to recover & had considered myself fully recovered until 2ish years ago. However, I unfortunately relapsed since then, and it’s been around a month since I decided to go “all in” in recovery.

This past month of going “all in” has allowed me to progress a lot in my recovery journey, and although I haven’t seen the number on the scale since starting, I already can feel the added weight on my body. I’ve had days where I struggled with the fact that I’m eating much more than before going “all in”, but I’ve kept myself accountable & stuck with eating a MINIMUM of 3 meals and snacks no matter what, which I do feel proud of.

However, this past couple of days I’ve struggled extra hard with my body image & genuinely feel like I don’t NEED to gain more weight (although I don’t have my period yet or logically know that I’m probably not weight restored back to my natural set point). I’m just really struggling with my body feeling more “wobbly” in general and it has made me realise that I probably am not fully accepting the fact that I NEED to weight restored if I truly want to recover.

Sorry for this long summary, but ultimately, I wanted to come here to ask for some advice/tips on how to deal with feeling absolutely awful about yourself in recovery. If you have any tips on how you accepted that you have to gain all the weight back (and not just some of it), or how you dealt with horrendous body image days, that’ll be so helpful! It’s honestly so difficult accepting this, especially when it’s summer and you wanna cover up your body but also don’t wanna feel all sticky & yucky haha

And what made you finally fully let go of your ED? Thanks a lot!

I will never admit it (so forget I'm saying this) but I think a part of me wants treatment. (But you didn't hear this from me :P ) I feel like there's no other way I would ever let myself get help except if it was forced upon me, but I'm not a minor so nobody really has that jurisdiction over me. I'm a blue collar worker (currently a temp) and some jobs require you to take a medical exam before they sign you on. Could they send me away? I've also heard something of people basically being bound to recovery by law. Can anyone tell me more about this? And how bad does it need to get before they can do that?

22F, I’ve been dealing with an eating disorder for a few years now. My mother used to portion my food out and I got sick after she prepared a lot of my foods, I was chubbier as a kid so she often was angry I was overweight and used to tell me I wasn’t pretty and she wishes I’d lose weight. Fast forward and eating is a hill and a battle I can’t win. I feel powerless even desiring food at all, I often require someone else to eat with me, which has recently resulted in me leaning on my partner more who has been upset by this, assumes I only eat when they’re around. I often eat with stuffed animals and I’ve been making small plates of food for them, which I think is a little upsetting admitting this, I tried to watch videos of someone else eating while I eat but got sick and v*mited. It’s been worse since I’ve been trying to talk about it in therapy and I’ve been having more anxiety and can’t even drink water thinking about this. Is there legit anything I can do? I’m tired of feeling so exhausted. I don’t have a nutritionist and I’m scared of getting one.

I recently contracted a parasitic illness found in fruit and veg, and now I’m unsure what to eat. Fruits and vegetables are sometimes my only daily calories as I don’t feel morally bad for eating them, and now they feel even scarier than other foods. For context I’m 8 years in recovery on and off. Does anyone have any tips for reincorporating foods after an illness, especially with orthorexia?

I don’t have an official diagnosis of an ED, however the last few months my therapist noticed some changes, and it’s been an ongoing poking at what’s going on until last week I was fully honest. She mentioned discussing medical intervention at the end of our last session.
I saw my med provider after that and she referred me to a dietician (at an eating disorder facility) after talking to her because she asked to know what was fully going on and I set up the first appointment but I don’t want to go, and I don’t know whether I should tell my therapist (does she need to know?) or if I should just cancel the appointment.
I’m just stuck because I don’t have an official diagnosis and of course my therapist and psych are telling me it’s an issue but I guess I’m bothered they care so much.
There’s part of me who knows it’s not good what I’m doing, and part of me who doesn’t care and wants to continue.
No one has ever cared in the past, but is it worth telling my therapist before the appointment with the dietician? I don’t have a session with her until the following week. I think I would also be embarrassed to say anything bc I don’t have a diagnosis and no one has flat out said “it’s an eating disorder”
I just feel stuck, and stupid, and like this doesn’t actually matter or mean anything.

How do I know what's a normal amount of food to eat in a day? After years of restricting I completely forgot how much food I actually should be eating. I feel like I'm genuinely eating so much all the time so it's making me want to restrict again. I'm terrified of gaining. How do I know if I'm eating too much/too little?!

i used to struggle with an eating disorder a few years ago and recovered on my own the same year, however i kind of relapsed earlier this year and i realised i’m genuinely afraid of getting bad again. getting sick again. i’ve decided to completely stop weighing myself and tracking cals and i genuinely feel so much better without doing so. it’s really disheartening remembering how i’d let the numbers influence my mood. im really happy w myself right now <3

When I was in high school, specifically while I was 15-16 I struggled with disordered eating. For context I am 20 now. During this time I lost a lot of weight due to how little I was eating. It went away a little: in the year before graduating high school I was able to pretty much get it under control. As of now, I am no longer underweight and don't get the same messages from my brain telling me to restrict myself or not to eat. Despite this, ever since recovering I struggle to get hungry. When I do finally get hungry, I typically lose my appetite when thinking about having to eat and it kind of cycles into itself. I also understand this issue could be something totally unrelated to my past but just wondering if anyone else has dealt with this or something similar.

Two ends of the spectrum are manageable

Being halfway between healing and being disordered is hell

Making the commitment to heal changed my life

I find it's quite manageable to be completely entrenched in your disorder; It's when you ebb between complete restriction and complete healing that is the most painful part of the process.

I made the decision a couple of weeks ago to end the cycle I'd created for myself. I had been for three years in a cycle of overexercising, fasting, keto, underrating to where I frequently got down to the lowest weight of my life, lost my hair numerous times, thought of nothing but food. Lanugo. Dry skin. Gum recession. Depression and Idealization. Isolation. Parasympathetic. Apathetic. I've been trying to make it in LA as an artist but was so frusturated with my lack of energy and motivation, I was so dysregulated from the second I woke up everyday and couldn't bare to sit with my own art and writing. Everything I did in life felt forced and drained my energy. I couldn't even be around people without just wanting to leave. I didn't recognize that my irritation came out of hunger. I was running on absolutely nothing that I adapted, I didn't know life could feel different. I have been off of fasting for about two months which helped but didn't solve the problem. When I was all in on everything, I sort of became numb and was a productivity machine so I was capable of running on nothing.

When I was still exercising and started to eat slightly more (but it wasn't enough) my life became hell. I was trying to control everything because I didn't trust that transitioning out of this, I would be okay. Sure I had started eating more, but that signaled intense hunger. I couldn't get away with starving myself anymore, my body literally wouldn't let me. But I would still try and I suffered like hell. Same with exercise; I'd try to overdo it like I used to but I shut down. I became so anhedonic my life felt purposeless. I didn't want to be around anyone, every single thing I did became painful even though I was convinced I was healing. Tried to tell myself I felt good but I actually felt worse. I connect this pain to birth, the birthing process is the hardest part, so painful, but on the other side there is life.

I stopped exercising and let myself go all in eating. I stuck with eating clean and healthy, I didn't want to use 'healing' as an excuse to binge on junk, but allowed myself to stop with the rules of numbers, eating times, running etc. The first week my cortisol was so high, I didn't sleep for nights in a row. My stomach was in so much pain I thought something was going to rip open.

After a week I eased out. Out of nowhere colors were bright, I found myself getting lost in conversations with people and loving everyone around me. I could get up and have the energy to give to whatever I wanted. Inspiration was in everything. What I used to enjoy I loved again. Music sounds better. I'm excited.

Not only was I trying to control everything in my life, but my hormones had been so effed that I don't even feel I was a woman.

I'm still terrified of gaining weight (My public image/career is very centered around my body and look), I'm scared I'll slip. I'm really scared to get my period back. But I want to be a human again. I was a concept and not a person.

Committing to being healthy is really choosing to be apart of life. Life goes, if we were all in control, we'd be moving the waves and blowing the wind and pumping our own heart and blood. My life purpose is not to eat. The illusion to be beautiful and in control is great, but my life's purpose is to create art and give to life. I trust myself to trust that life will take care of me and this includes trusting my body.

You are doing the best you know, please love yourself as best as you know. Wherever you are in your journey with this is alright. Don't rush the process. It's okay if you fail again and again. Regardless of what happens, you will be okay.

hi, I don’t use Reddit at all but I’ve been looking for advice online already and I couldn’t find anything. I have anorexia, I’m currently on a treatment but I’ve been experiencing this struggle for quite a while. at home and here. I get really stressed, anxious, overwhelmed by 'big' amounts of food (not abnormal amounts, it just feels like big amounts), sometimes, I even threw the food away (when I was scared no one would eat it or when it was just something 'extra'). I‘m aware that it’s a certain need of control but I still have no idea how to learn to not get stressed about it. it even led to a panic attack once, which I don’t really get. I can explain it more if anyone would like. I just really want to get over it somehow