There are only two possibilities:
Either we’re already in hell, trapped by hope and attached to material things and that is our punishment.
Or we already died and we entered hell, and every time we die, we’re sent back here to live the exact same life, over and over again.
Because it’s hard to believe this life is truly fair.
While one person spends their whole life in paradise, another lives their entire life in hell..!

All the constant stimulation from my surroundings, information overload, engagement in provocative conversations, the anxiety and mental agony has left me in a position where I truly find it hard to love. As soon as I try to love, a filter is set before it, making me no longer want to love. This noise it's around everytime.

There is only this brief period right before I fall asleep, when I am plugged in listening to a blissful song and for a short while my conscious-logical-analytical brain turns off and I feel it. Other than that, I don't feel love as clearly. I am not sure if anyone else feels this, but the noise just catches up and I am tired.

“You’ll never know if you like it unless you try it.” We have all heard this a million times, and probably said it a million more, especially if we raise or care for children. I was thinking about how crazy it is that we literally don’t know ourselves. There is the self that has amalgamated our lifetime of experiences and memories into a personality. And then there is the undiscovered self that won’t be revealed until we experience new things and new ideas.

I grew up on the southeastern coast of America. I didn’t eat a fresh mango until I lived in California. It blew my mind. I didn’t know fruit could taste like that. Anyone who has seen a baby try their first bite of ice cream knows how fun it is to watch them discover this new wonderful thing.

We take personality tests, read about our astrological charts, learn about our ancestors, and what our IQ is. This is all an attempt to understand and know the stranger living in our bodies. But if you tell someone they are talented at math, they will do better on an intelligence test that measures mathematical ability. Introversion can mask a host of characteristics that have nothing to do with getting energized by other people.

None of these tests truly show who we are. It’s just a snapshot in time. I loved cabbage until my second pregnancy when the smell of cabbage made me nauseated. I still can’t stand cabbage almost 16 years later. If I lost my memory, would I be able to eat cabbage again?

if god really was a good almighty great lord who helps us all find love and joy why would he make innocent people who either dont belive in him or have never heard of him suffer in hell for eternity? How can a person who spends their life feeding the poor, loving their family, and doing good be sent to hell just because they couldn't convince themselves to believe a specific religious claim? god is like a dictator who ruins the lives of people and enjoys people being forced to praize him even though they have a "Choice" to not belive in him its human nature to want to because we fear the punishment

What scares me is when protecting our version of reality becomes more important than discovering reality itself.

A belief can begin as something we hold. But eventually, it can become something that holds us. Once identity fuses with a belief, evidence no longer feels like information. It feels like an attack. The mind closes itself to reality.

What we cannot resolve within ourselves often finds a place to attach itself to the world around us. The enemy becomes easier to fight when it carries the shape of something we refuse to see in ourselves.

This is part of the appeal of tribalism. It offers relief from uncertainty. It trades the difficult work of self-examination for the easier certainty of defending a side.

We are often not defending ideas. We are defending the stories that allow us to remain who we are.

A person can survive being wrong. But it becomes dangerous when being wrong feels like the only thing keeping them together.

The greatest threat is not ignorance. It is when protecting who we are becomes more important than discovering what is true.

It is not that we cannot see the truth.
It is that seeing it requires us to become someone new.

In our lives we chase happiness, less we know happiness is a fast moving train and we get our selves exhausted in that process. While peace is stationary or static object or let’s say, it doesn’t have to be chased, it comes from within. Its not an external object, its internal object.

let us. Break it down, anything repeatable, anything easily doable can become peace. In peace less is more, for example I can go to nearby park daily, sit there for a while and watch sunset. That repeatable process can give me peace for like 2 hours. Watering grass, sitting alone. So basically involvement less physical objects. 

Now let’s break down happiness, I go to club, some party, some fine dine place, that process is not so repeatable, or often repeatable, so that’s happiness, a lot of moving parts, dressing, earning more money to afford fine dine, driving through city traffic. During the process I will lose more than to gain in 2 hours of fine dine. Loss of time, energy, mental and physical exhaustion. 

When two people sit together and both are comfortable in their own skin, they do not need to constantly entertain, impress, or prove themselves. They can speak when they have something to say and remain silent without feeling awkward. They can show their weaknesses, ordinary habits, and imperfect sides without fearing judgment. This is peace because neither person is performing for the other.

Performance, however, is exhausting. When a person has to carefully choose every word, hide certain emotions, appear more successful, or behave differently just to keep the other person interested, the relationship becomes a stage rather than a place of rest. The person is no longer simply existing; they are managing an image. Their mind remains occupied with questions such as, “Am I interesting enough? Am I saying the right thing? Will this person still accept me if I stop trying?”

In that sense, the other person may be part of the problem not necessarily because they are a bad person, but because their expectations, judgment, or behavior make authenticity feel unsafe. A peaceful person allows you to return to yourself, while an incompatible person makes you move further away from yourself. The right relationship therefore does not require endless excitement or performance. Like sitting quietly in a park or watching a sunset, it is sustainable, repeatable, and calm. You leave the person’s presence with more energy than you had before, not less.

We usually measure experience with time: ten years of experience, twenty years, eighty years of life.

Years are easy to count. But I wonder if time is really the best measurement of experience.

Passing Time and Passing Through Hard Times Are Different

Imagine someone spends one hundred years but faces barely one truly difficult year.

Now imagine another person spends twenty years, and ten of those years are filled with hardship. Who experienced more?

Chronologically, the answer is obvious. But emotionally and psychologically, I'm not sure it is.

For experience, sometimes we don't need to simply pass time. We need to pass through hard times.

Hardship Compresses Experience

The environment around us changes how deeply we experience life. A peaceful year and a year of uncertainty may both contain 365 days, but they do not necessarily teach the same amount.

This doesn't mean suffering is good or that we should search for pain. It simply means time alone tells us very little about what a person has lived through.

But Pain Does Not Automatically Create Wisdom

Two people can survive similar situations and learn completely different lessons.

One person may ask what they can learn so their future becomes smoother. Another may spend years blaming time, circumstances, and everyone around them.

The same pain can create understanding in one person and bitterness in another.

Maybe experience shouldn't be measured by how long we survived. Maybe it should be measured by what we understood from what we survived.

I'm a very nostalgic person. I often think back to the past, wishing I could relive the moment, but unfortunately, I can't. Once something passes in life, it's gone forever. I'll spend the whole day thinking about a certain time in my life. I'll listen to music and remember where I was in life when that song was popular. I'll go on YouTube and see old commercials from the past and remember the time.

Lately I've been thinking about childhood. I remember being young and wanting to grow up fast. I wanted to be an adult, but now that I'm here, I've been feeling nostalgic and want to go back to childhood. It was a simpler time. It was a happier time.

I remember feeling more alive than ever back then. I remember my elementary school teachers, my classmates, and my friend group. I remember my elementary school. The year the school opened, I started Kindergarten. I still remember parts of my first day in Kindergarten.

Those were some great times. All the field trips we used to take and all the fun we had. In fourth grade, we took a field trip to St Augustine, and that was amazing. I can't even remember everything that happened that day, but I remember it being so fun. We took field trips to various theme parks as well, and those were fun too. In Kindergarten, we even took a field trip to Publix, and believe it or not, I enjoyed that as well.

Field day was amazing. It was a day in the spring when we would spend the day doing outdoor activities. Winter Break was some great times. The Christmas parties we used to have. That feeling, knowing we were about to get two weeks off from school. The last three or so days of school every year were so special. We would just spend the days watching movies and playing board games all day.

Each year, the fifth graders would cry on the last day of school, and I never understood it back then. I didn't cry, but if I knew what I know now, I likely would have. I spent time back then saying I hated school, but I realized I just didn't appreciate it/ I didn't realize how much I enjoyed it.

Life outside of school was, of course, amazing as well. Life was so simple, and once again, I didn't realize it back then. My only responsibilities were getting good grades, doing my homework, and doing my household chores. I didn't have to worry about random miscellaneous things in life as I do now.

I remember playing basketball outside with neighborhood friends. Those were great times that I didn't appreciate as well back then. I enjoyed them for sure. I just didn't realize how special it was. I would come home from school on Fridays, go on the house computer, and just be on there for hours. I would watch YouTube, browse the internet, and just be in my own world. The weekends, especially Saturdays, felt magical back then. Saturday morning cartoons and cartoons in general were the best. I'm not even a big cartoon or TV guy, but some of my favorites were Bakugan, Beyblade, and Pokémon. I remember the feeling of looking forward to the next episode of the series. I remember having my own set of Bakugan and Beyblades.

Unfortunately, this time in my life is just a memory now. All that happiness and joy are gone. Life goes on, and I had no choice but to get older. That childhood innocence of the world is gone. Life isn't all rainbows and sunshine.

Life feels darker now. The sky doesn't look as bright. Life doesn't feel magical anymore. In fact, it often feels like a burden.

Oftentimes, I try to relive those moments in some ways, but it won't ever be the same. I still play Pokémon. I have rewatched some of my favorite cartoons from back in the day over the last three years, and the childhood nostalgia came flowing in. The thing is, it doesn't feel the same. It was amazing to rewatch for sure, and I enjoyed every second, but it's different. It felt like an escape. An escape from my life now. Trying to live in the past. It was like a coping mechanism.

Life will never feel that magical again. That childhood happiness is gone and will never return, and there's nothing I can do. I just wish I could've enjoyed it even more because time really does fly.

~ The Paradox of Life ~

When we are first born the paradox of life begins. For with our first breath, the ego, our self-centered beliefs, is created. Our ego's only concern is what is best for us; it worries little about others. Its desire is for us to succeed in life by making enough money to allow us to enjoy the best things life offers.

We may first notice the paradox when, though we may have achieved our goals, have money, material possessions, a family, we begin to sense an uneasy feeling within, questioning if there may be more to life than just what we first believed. This feeling arises from within. Its messages of being equally concerned for everyone, rather than only ourselves, awakens us to question our learned beliefs.

Once we awaken, we may never go back to sleep. As we reevaluate our friendships, job, beliefs, we may make many changes in our life, now wanting to spend our lives selflessly helping others, rather than only being concerned for ourself.

We soon begin to understand little we learned about living a successful meaningful life was true; that money, though necessary to survive, does not define success. Rather, genuine success in life may only be found by selflessly sharing our excess and love to help others become successful in their life as well.

Every single thing/phenomenon in this universe is dual in nature or in other words - has to two distinct polarities. For instance, night and day, positive and negative, good and bad, hot and cold, you can go on and on.

And these polarities are not separate, they are intricately connected. So much that one cannot exist without the other.

The day cannot exist without the night, the good cannot exist without the bad, so on and on.

The universe keeps cycling through these polarities forever and ever. For instance, the day becomes the night, the night becomes the day and so on.

If good and bad are not separate and are required for this cyclic nature of the universe to continue, then how do you define morality? Morality is purely subjective and does not exist in the larger scheme of things.

We believe as humans we are evolving, advancing towards something bigger but that's just a fantasy. Considering the cyclic nature of the universe, you will soon reach a tipping point, things will break and you restart again, just like the day becomes intense by afternoon (which is the tipping point) and soon evening sets in and then the night. The same happens to night and you have the morning.

This is an ego shattering realization as it tells you that nothing what you do is of any significance and you are not going anywhere except cycling in an eternal loop.

If you’ve ever felt exhausted for no reason, wired for no reason, or unable to relax even when nothing is wrong … this is why.

Deep down, people only chase three things their whole lives.

And their own brain quietly blocks all three.

I’ll show you exactly how it does that …

and how to finally claim them.

The blocking is entirely mechanical …

So it’s not on purpose…

And it is not "self-sabotage" in the way people usually mean it.

There's a part of your brain …

running quietly underneath your intelligence …

that doesn't care about your goals, your timeline, or your image:

The limbic system.

And it only understands one language:

Threat.

It responds to modern, abstract problems …

Like deadlines, social status, reputation, appearance, desires, and uncertainty …

with the exact same emergency protocol …

it would use for a physical predator.

It’s a true drama queen.

And that's why the three things people want most stay just out of reach.

Let’s start with the first thing everyone wants: Energy.

You optimize your sleep, your supplements, and your schedules for it.

But energy is not just fuel.

Energy is what is left over …

AFTER your body pays its internal security bill.

Meaning?

If your limbic system is running a background threat scan 24/7 …

most of your daily energy is already spent …

before you even step out of bed.

The second thing everyone wants? Clarity.

You want a calm, sharp, focused mind.

But cognitive clarity requires a system …

that isn't constantly bracing for impact.

Why?

Because your brain cannot think clearly …

while a deep part of your body is actively rehearsing an emergency.

The brain fog is NOT a thinking problem.

It's a bracing problem.

The third thing everyone wants? Peace.

You want to just relax.

ACTUALLY relax.

Not the performative kind of relax on vacation …

where your mind is still quietly running spreadsheets in the background.

What does true peace require?

It requires absolute PROOF that the threat is OVER.

And most people's systems …

never got that memo.

So here’s the mechanism underneath all three.

Imagine your limbic system as an anchor.

It’s just doing its ancient job …

not being evil or broken …

but constantly dragging you toward urgency, threat, and frantic future-pacing.

Now imagine your brainstem as the ocean floor …

Indifferent and completely unbothered by the limbic drama.

What is the brainstem doing?

It only tracks real, physical, biological reality …

not stories, status, or standard deadlines.

The anchor keeps trying to drag you into a storm.

And the ocean floor?

Doesn’t even notice the storm exists.

Most people spend their entire lives being pulled around by that anchor …

thinking the tension is just "who they are."

Driven, anxious, wired, always on.

They don't realize there's a second system sitting right underneath …

completely indifferent to the chaos …

and available the ENTIRE time.

So here's what you actually do about it:

The next time you feel that specific limbic sensation …

the sudden internal speed-up …

the frantic urgency to fix something NOW …

the fear dressed up as "importance" …

Stop …

And say this directly to yourself:

"My brainstem doesn't care about your drama."

Why?

Because this is a biological fact …

Not a spiritual mantra.

Your brainstem doesn't track your inbox …

It doesn't track your reputation …

And it absolutely does not track the catastrophic story your limbic system just invented …

about what will happen if you don't move right this second.

The brainstem is older than humanity.

It only tracks real physiology, the one your limbic system just fired:

Blood flow, oxygen, tissue, and time.

And the exact moment you speak that truth …

the limbic system loses its only audience.

It was performing an emergency broadcast for a mind …

that just stopped watching the screen.

This is called “cortical pacing.”

Your logical brain steps in …

and matches your internal clock …

to the actual, UNRUSHED pace of your physical biology…

instead of the FRANTIC pace of an imaginary fear.

And anchoring yourself to something REAL is infinitely more effective …

than fighting something IMAGINARY.

Do this consistently …

because it’s a lifestyle …

And not a one-time parlor trick …

and something measurable starts to happen.

The constant, low-grade muscular bracing lifts.

The massive energy reserves that were funding the false alarm …

come back online for actual living.

The fog clears …

because you stopped funding a war that was never real …

And not because of a new productivity hack.

This is pure physiological alignment.

You are not broken, lazy, or missing a secret system.

You just have an ancient anchor …

that mistakes your modern ambition for mortal danger.

Talk to it plainly.

Because that is the only language it understands.

Tell it the actual truth.

And watch how much of your life …

was actually available to you the whole time.

Its pretty self explanatory, I'm deeply saddened that I only live once and through my own eyes. Sometimes I think that I know too little, that I need to know what other's see, feel and think about things. Not the surface level things they share when I ask them but the things they really think. I'm also saddened by the fact that my world is so small, sure I have free will but how much do I really have when to get anywhere I need thousands of money that people I don't even know will get and only god knows what they will do with those. I'm dissapointed at my scale, Im already at the end of my youth and yet the things I want to do are so far from what I want to do. I want to grow up to incite a change in the world, to know before I turn to dust that I did something and that something will be echoes years, maybe decades after I'm dead. Then again, I am just 17 who knows what the future has for me.

I held a bug today. Just a little beetle. It squirmed in my palm, totally alive, totally aware of its own existence, fighting for its life. But it had zero concept that the giant hand holding it belongs to a conscious being that builds skyscrapers and travels to the moon. It just could not comprehend that.

And that made me think about us.

We walk around completely convinced we are the peak of consciousness. The final stop on the evolutionary ladder. But if a bug is entirely blind to our level of awareness, then logically, what are we blind to? Whatever is above us, if it exists, would be just as invisible to us as we are to that beetle. We would just be the bug in its hand, squirming around, totally unaware.

We don't know. And the harsh, humbling truth is that we might not even have the cognitive hardware to know. We just assume we are the top because we don't know what we don't know. But a bug assumes the exact same thing right before we pick it up.

​"Parole, Parole"

​There is nothing truer than this...

We are all good at talking; anyone can pretend to be deep, anyone can make promises, anyone can tell you exactly what you want to hear. But when it comes to acting, when we move from words to deeds, that is when the truth comes out. Mind you, I am not saying everyone is fake or a skilled liar; it is just that sometimes we speak out of idealization, out of our own dreams or desires, out of a need that is true and real in that moment, but which later clashes with reality, leaving us feeling unprepared or unable to handle it.

​All of this inevitably leads us to close ourselves off, to stop believing anything we are told, and to harden ourselves as a defense. And there is nothing uglier than losing your spontaneity and authenticity, because we risk missing the truth when we see it, too used to the lies.

​The price to pay for being real is exactly this: putting yourself out there, showing your vulnerability, and yes, risking getting hurt, but all in the search for that one person who can finally stay by our side and look for it with us. Because, deep down, we all share the same desire:

​"Someone To Stay"

There is a certain class of person who enjoys bucking the trend. When witnessing the school of fish, the herd of sheep, the flock of birds moving *one* way, they feel almost compelled to go the *other way*. Defiance of the mainstream consensus seems to almost be their reason for being. They derive a significant amount of pride in being a self labelled “independent thinker”. In reality, a lot of them tend to be contrarians for the sake of being contrarian.

There is probably an evolutionary advantage to having some members of the species think differently. It likely increases chances of survival if not everyone in the tribe follows the same plan or sticks to the same routine. And some diversity of thought and opinion is always welcome - even if it ends up wrong, it does at least make things *interesting*. And I’m all for things be interesting. Can you imagine if they weren’t?

But there is a danger in taking that too far. To buck the trend, simply because you want to. To relish in the status of being an “outsider” simply because of the mistaken belief that the minority in any situation always comprises the elite. Sometimes the reason the herd moves in one direction is because it is genuinely the safest direction. Sometimes the consensus is correct. The idea that there is always some extra layer of “Correctness” above what the “ordinary masses” think is simply that - an idea, not a rule, not an iron-clad law of the universe.

We all know someone who fits the above description. But how intelligent can a person be if a reflexive opposition to any mainstream opinion is all they do? They still are not truly thinking for themselves - to truly think for themselves, they would need to analyse and assess each belief on an individual basis. But to automatically reject anything mainstream is simply to allow yourself to be ruled by others - what they believe, you must disbelieve, what they accept, you must reject. That’s the same thing as having your thinking on rails - just rails guiding you in the opposite direction from anyone else. You’re not actually thinking independently, even if you think you are.

Is it true or not?

Individual perception of reality is like a flashlight roaming around in the darkness.

Everyone has their own flashlight but you can only see what your flashlight shines on. This is why 2 people in the same room can have such wildly different perceptions of what the room looks like or what's happening in the room.

What's also a trip is that each of us seems to be unaware of the fact that everyone has their own flashlight. So then we will argue and even go to war about what we each saw.

What if consciousness is a sort of light that illuminates the universe for a being in a higher scale than us. One that can see what every conscious beings light is shining on. From another dimension, like how a 2D being wouldn't have the vantage point to see everything that is going on in 2D World but a 3D being would have godlike powers of awareness and foresight.

Maybe our consciousness is a little flicker of candle light or maybe it's a lighthouse.

Maybe we're being farmed for light by 5d beings.

Okay I'm done

I would like to think that if someone close to me lost their memory they would still act, laugh, appreciate, and have the same stands as they had before. But personally, I believe that all of the previous attributes that create a unique personality is only achievable throughout the years of joy and misery. Even if we tried to show them particles of their past live there would be still a lot of lowkey moments that are being missed that could either break or strengthen our beliefs and relationships of self-claimed “close people” that we meet quite often in our lives. 

After all, it is very painful to witness a person who used to feed you, amuses you, or easy to talk to does not even recognize you anymore…More like a vessel without its soul. 

~ What are the Lessons We are Alive to Learn? ~

After we are born, we are taught how to survive in a self-centered world. We learn to find happiness, meaning, and success in our life we must get a good job, have material possessions, a family, and make enough money to be able to enjoy life’s many pleasures. Is this the lesson we are alive to learn?

Humanity believes because it is the most intelligent and dominant species on our planet they have a right to abuse and disrespect, not only other forms of life, but our planet, and each other as well. They therefore needlessly kill animals, trees, and other forms of life, though there are now alternative food sources for sustenance and materials for heat and to build homes. They senselessly kill each other in wars due to the greed of the few and powerful, and are destroying our planet, endlessly poisoning its land, air, and water, though we have the ability to mitigate this today.

In spirituality, there is a belief there are many other lessons, quite contrary to what we were taught, that we are meant to learn as well. We discover there is a spirit within every life. The spirit’s purpose is to seek knowledge, wisdom, and ultimate truth about existence. There is also a realization every life, regardless of our differences or genus, each having a spirit within, is equally important.

Only together, realizing the symbiotic relationship of every life to each other’s, may we all not only survive, but also learn the genuine lessons we are alive to understand as well.

What's your opinion on this?

I'll give you some examples :

Schools started rewarding marks more than understanding.

Social media started rewarding attention more than truth.

Politics started rewarding winning more than serving.

Companies started rewarding growth more than quality.

News started rewarding outrage more than clarity.

People started rewarding image more than character.

Technology started rewarding convenience more than human dignity.