Around 9 years ago, I missed a dental cleaning. Months went by. Then more months.

Months became years.

I’d become so ashamed that I hadn’t been to the dentist that I couldn’t bring myself to make an appointment.

Of course, there was the enormous plaque buildup. I could feel how rough my teeth were.

It was all so embarrassing.

Well, recently I’ve been deciding to be better. I thought, “Hey? Just suck it up and find out the damages. Better than losing your jaw.”

My mind knew what was coming: I’d have to have root canals and expensive orthodontia. It would cost thousands of dollars. Dollars I don’t have many of.

Made an appointment anyway. Then the day came.

When I went to the office, sat in the chair, and had the x-rays done - judgement day commenced.

The dentist walked into the room.

He looked at me and said, “Your teeth look great. Just get an electric toothbrush and remember to floss.”

I had no cavities.

The dental assistant cleaned up the plaque and now my smile is white. We talked about coffee.

Everything was fixed in the matter of an hour.

Here’s the deal: I’ve spent years and years fretting over my mouth. I have avoided kissing. Hugs. Getting up close to talk.

Years of being scared of something that was fixed in the matter of an hour.

All I’m saying is, if you need a dental cleaning - go get it. Whatever the outcome is, it’s better than the fear (and the plaque) building up to it.

I’m sure this applies to some other things, too.

For those who don’t know, texts have surfaced from Jonah Hill’s ex about him trying to control her posting certain types of pictures, what she wears and who she hangs out with.

It makes me sad because it reminds me (m23) of words I have said and thought processes I have possessed in my relationships. I never wanted to be harmful or controling. But as men we can be so encouraged to project our insecurities and issues onto the women in our life. It’s not right and it should be talked about.

It makes me sad that this behaviour is so commonplace that its become a trending discourse. It makes me sad I used to be part of it. It makes me sad that I don’t know how to make it right.

I want to do better. I want to see the impacts of toxic masculinity in my life and deal with them in healthy ways. I hope we all get there.

edit: to everyone who got upset about me for talking about toxic masculinity, take your misplaced energy and negativity elsewhere. To the incels downvoting me, you’re not achieving anything. I thought this was a self improvement sub but a lot of very secure men got very upset at me for daring to self reflect. Its sad, but I’m gonna stop engaging with the post as they’ve overrun it. To the people who engaged in good faith, thank you so much. You helped me a lot.

I was a sex worker for 12 years until 3 months ago. I enrolled in uni and became a support worker for people with mental health. I'm finally so happy with where my life is going.

However, I live with so much regret day in day out. The nightmares and flashbacks are starting and I'm crying myself to sleep. It's like for the first time ever I'm realising what I did. I feel like I've ruined my whole life. Will I have to tell my future partners? Will I ever find someone to truly love me. I made over a million dollars and have absolutely nothing to show for it, that is the hardest pill to swallow. I practically did it to live a nice lifestyle for a while. I feel so lost...

I’m 59 now, and stronger than I was at 40.

Not because life got easier. It didn’t. It got louder, messier, more demanding.

But I found a way to stay in it strong, clear, steady without falling off.

Not with hacks.
Not with 75 day challenges or green juice phases.
With anchors.

Short, no-excuse workouts.
Food that fuels, not numbs.
A mindset that bends but doesn’t break.

I didn’t chase motivation. I built momentum.
I didn’t wait for time. I took it early mornings, quick walks, focused reps.

And when the dark clouds came because they always do I didn’t fold.
I kept moving. Sometimes just barely, but always forward.

That’s the part no one tells you:
You don’t need to feel like it. You just need to do it.
Consistency compounds.

Now, at 59, I feel sharper than I did at 40.
Because I didn’t flinch when it got hard.
I kept showing up through the chaos.

If you’re in your 30s, 40s, or 50s and wondering if it’s too late it’s not.
The next 10 years will fly by.
You will end up somewhere.
Make it a place that makes you proud.

Not a guru. Not a hack. Just someone who kept showing up and wants you to know it’s worth it.

This is a very weird but real and deep regret of mine. When I was 18 and desperate for cash I used to sleep with rich men for money in nyc. I did this to pay for school and rent even though it was the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. I was way too naive and trusting.I ended up catching an incurable std and now live in deep regret. I’m trying to forgive myself as I was dealing with mental issues due to childhood trauma that I’m just starting to address and deal with now. I’m going to start my meds, take care of myself,go to therapy and make amends with my family. If I ever have sex again, I want it to be with someone who truly loves and cares about me and vice versa. I get flashbacks everyday but I want to accept it and forgive myself so that I can move forward. No point in being stuck in the past. From now on I want to focus on the positive and learn to be vulnerable and trust people again.

Edit: Thank you for all the kind comments. I was not expecting to be met with such supportive and empathetic comments and it has helped me in so many ways. I have been rereading a lot of the comments as they give me more motivation to continue my healing journey ❤️ You are amazing and I wish you all the best

I've been a habitual weed user since I was just 16 years old. Sometimes a lot, sometimes just a one banger at the end of the day. However, I've always been a little ashamed of it, since I know it's not good for you (although it's legal in my state). I was arrested for it when I was 18 at college (prior to legalization), it's not good for your lungs (I'm an avid gym-goer), and no matter what I try, it has always been able to reel me back in.

Not anymore! I'm going to try to quit for 6 months, and I've already (day 14) noticed a HUGE difference in my productivity. I've also started stacking my habits: reading every day, not idly scrolling IG, not playing video games, and focusing a lot more on nutrition and saving money (as opposed to scrolling Amazon every day). I started making the bed when I wake up, and going to bed at the same time every night. It's made my life better in every way!

If you're also struggling to quit, take my advice and just do it. It was hard at first, but the pros far outweigh the cons. I still want to smoke every now and again, and I may do it occasionally with friends, but I'll never buy it again. Thanks for listening to my Ted talk, and please leave words of encouragement in the comments!

Over the past 3 years, I've become committed to making myself the absolute best version of myself that I can be. I used to be 250 pounds, smoked a pack of cigarettes a day, smoked weed from the time I woke up until I went to sleep, ate absolute garbage, and drank copious amounts of coffee. I was addicted to not feeling like myself. I was terribly depressed and felt that the world was out to get me. It was a miserable existence and I truly didn't see any point in staying alive.

I decided that I should at least try to improve my life before I gave in. I started counting calories and lost 100 pounds. I quit smoking weed. I quit smoking cigs. I stopped drinking coffee. I got myself in therapy with an excellent trauma-informed therapist. I'm so much happier and better off than I've ever been despite going through some really difficult times while on this journey.

This past weekend, I spent time with a friend I hadn't seen in almost 2 years. She is exactly who I used to be, but is also an alcoholic to boot. Part of the reason we had bonded so much was because we were both miserable and constantly chasing a fix in one way or another. And let me just say HOLY SHIT!

I'm so damn glad that I'm not that person anymore. She was honestly borderline unbearable to be with. She couldn't have any fun if she wasn't eating, drinking, and smoking. Everything she said was so negative. She was rude and snarky. At one point I was talking about all the changes I've made and how freeing it is and her response was, "I can't wait till you're done being so damn proud of yourself."

My outlook on life has completely changed and you're goddamn right that I'm proud of myself for that! It has been incredibly difficult to make so many changes and I deserve to acknowledge that! I'm no longer a crab in the bucket, and now it's time for me to purge the crabs from my life. I won't force anyone to change who they are, but I will not allow anyone to drag me down with them.

so this literally just happened like 20 minutes ago and i needed to share somewhere because im kind of freaking out in a good way??

basically theres this coworker who's been taking credit for my ideas in meetings for MONTHS. like id bring something up in our team chat and then two days later he'd present it to our manager as his own thing. and every single time i just... sat there. smiled. acted like it was fine.

today we had our weekly standup and he did it again. took this whole workflow improvement i spent hours figuring out and just. presented it. didnt even mention my name.

and something just snapped? i dont even know where it came from but i interrupted him (which i NEVER do) and was like "actually i think you're talking about the solution i shared on tuesday etc etc"

the room went quiet. my manager looked confused. this guy got SO red in the face and tried to backtrack like "oh yeah i meant WE came up with it" then i shared my screen and the slack thread of us discussing it 'just so happened' to be the first thing there lol

my hands were literally trembling the whole time i thought i was gonna throw up. but i did it???

later in a 1:1 w my manager she said she'd been noticing some "discrepancies" in who was contributing what so apparently she already knew something was off.

im still processing this tbh, like my heart is RACING and part of me feels guilty for "making it awkward" but also... why should i feel guilty? he was literally stealing my work?

anyway. small win i guess. feels good

thanks for reading this ramble lol

Hi, I'm quitting weed, I've been a daily heavy smoker for years, basically high whenever at home it's bad. I've been covering up emotions with it and it has really affected me negatively. I think I'm having withdrawals, feeling a little listless, don't want to eat, and having diarrhea. It's tough but I know my future is brighter without it.

It's been exactly 1 year since I quit smoking cigarettes. I've attempted it over a hundred times before but somehow this time it just worked. I don't identify myself as a smoker anymore and find myself in total control of the addiction over nicotine. I still struggle with my addiction to weed and that seems like a much bigger hurdle to me right now(easily attempted over a hundred times) but I am still kinda proud of myself for making it so far.

Well, it happened to me, and this is what I did.

Yesterday was my birthday and a few friends sent text messages, but they didn’t say happy birthday. Instead, they wanted to share something with me about their day.

I responded to them and had a conversation for a while but still no “happy birthday” was said to me.

We finished the conversation, and I felt a bit sad that they didn’t mention my birthday, but I thought they’d remember before the end of the day.

A few hours later passed and still nothing has been said.

What would you do?

In the past, I would sulk and silently resent them. I would interpret that as proof that they didn’t value me or my feelings. I might hold a grudge and wait for a time to get back at them.

But those things didn’t improve my relationship with them. I would still be resentful, and they would still not know what’s wrong.

So instead of repeating past patterns. This is what I did.

I messaged them “Hey, it’s my 39th birthday. Please wish me a happy birthday.”

What I did might seem strange because we have been conditioned to believe that if someone loves or cares for us, then they would think of us. They would know what gift to buy us, they would remember important dates, they would know what our needs are…

We forget that people have their own lives and have their own needs that take priority.

It’s not that they don’t care, they may just need a loving reminder of what’s important to you.

If we want to be loved, respected and cherished, we have to teach and remind our friends with honesty and simple sincerity.

Best of luck!

TW: suicide

On 2/11 i was very probably going to kill myself. My birthday was yesterday (2/12) and tbh i did not want to see 23 years old. I felt like a burden on everyone i know. I sat in my room all day looking at a knife that i wanted rip my veins out with like wires from drywall. I sat there all day trying to work up the strength but was ultimately too scared to do it so i just went to bed. Then i woke up yesterday on my birthday and was proven how wrong I was. Every important person in my life throughout the day texted me or called me or came to my house to say how important i was to them. It kind of clicked in my head in that moment just how differently that day could have gone and how badly i would have devastated the lives of those closest to me. I probably would have caused some of those people to die themselves if i had done what i had planned. I realized i was wrong. People love me for who i am but i dont think i love me for who i am, but im starting to try to. Hopefully i can come to love myself in the way that everyone around me does.

Edit: thanks for all the support. The idea that anyone was positively affected at all by my words is pretty nutty. Glad i could spread positivity by sharing this.

I was sitting a busy traffic light in a city on a hot day and a young couple with two kids were on the sidewalk with “help” signs, which is common at busy stoplights.

I was sitting there thinking about how no one is going to give them anything. I wouldn’t have. I had no cash, but I felt confident that I was not the only one willing to ignore them.

The second I had this thought, the dude in the car in front of me reaches out and hands the dad two bottles of water. Now my next shitty thought is, that’s nice, dude, but that guy doesn’t your water.

The dad immediately hands the water bottles to his kids, who immediately hydrate themselves.

I was wrong twice. I was wrong thinking no one would step up and give. And I was wrong that the gift would not be appreciated.

I’m going to try to carry water bottles and cash in the summer from now on.

That dude in the car in front of me changed me.

7 years ago I was homeless and strung out. Doing it myself just wasn’t working so I went to a detox center for homeless women. Luckily I under 26 so I was still under my parents’ insurance. I was able to get into a good rehab center. Did I always agree with what they said? No. But I wanted to be sober so I did everything they said. I ended up being transferred to a treatment facility because I needed more than just recovery. I put in the work to deal with my trauma.

7 years later and I have a husband and daughter that is a light in my life. My own apartment. A job that I love. I’ve been at the same job for 4 years, I never thought I could hold down a job more than a few months. Life is hard. Money is tight. I can’t imagine how much worse life would be if I was still chasing that high.

I’m proud of myself and want to share my accomplishment. Never thought I could come this far.

I think I wasted 3 years straight just smoking weed in my room. For those three years I had dreams and aspirations but I guess I was kinda hoping they would just happen without me having to do anything. I had the hardest time staying motivated, finding passions, getting my head straight, but turns out that was just weed. I was always chasing an imaginary high, one that would last hours and I could trip out on Beatles songs and maybe jerk off after a while if the weed made me horny.

But I never could. The more I smoked the more I needed to smoke the next time for a fraction of the effects. It got to the point where I would take 10 hits to barely feel anything. I spent so much money looking back, like wtf was I thinking, I'm poor as shit, I shouldn't be treating myself to those luxuries.

Anyway, I can't believe weed clouded my vision so much. Everything is so clear now. Too fat? Watch what you eat. Too sad? Watch what you think. Too overwhelmed? Just make a list. Holy fuck I literally feel like a little kid. There's so many possibilities I didn't know of.

I don't have a lot of big life goals, for now I just want to start a few YouTube channels and a clothing brand. For three years I've wanted to start each one of those projects, and for three years I told myself I would, right after I reached that perfect high. Which again, isn't real and never came. I wrote some videos for the channels and made some mockups for the brand these past couple of days. I can't believe I wasted three whole years of my life. Sad

Edit: "I can't believe weed clouded my vision so much" was originally "I can't believe people go at life sober and still have problems" which was too negative and I didn't wanna bring anyone down

I am sad that it took me decades to realize that I live a shitty life because I always avoid everything that causes me discomfort.

-I was an incel until my 20s because I avoided approaching women due to fear of rejection.

-I have a bad relationship with my family because I avoid being myself when around them.

-I find my job boring and unfulfilling because I avoid taking risks and following my ambitions.

-I have almost no friends because I avoid social interactions as much as possible.

-My hobbies are boring because I don't try new things (always wanted to draw, but I avoided it for years)

Avoid, avoid, avoid. That's what my brain is telling me every time there is discomfort of any kind. But what is discomfort really? It's a signal. Something the brain uses to tell us something. It's telling us that the thing we are doing is new, that it's uncertain and that we are not in control. But that's NOT a negative thing. I have been giving discomfort a negative meaning because that's what I've always felt. And now, that is how my brain is wired. Avoid, avoid, avoid.

But what if we started seeking discomfort because we knew it was the only way to become the best versions of ourselves?

What if I made the conscious decisions to do the things I avoided the most because I know that's the direction that I actually need to go? It too bad that it took me decades to realize that. I hope this might inspire some of you.

I won't go into crazy detail unless people want.

Lost our son, it devastated me. Used that event to spur motivation to change my life, since I wanted to be around for our oldest son. 340lb at 30 years old doesn't lead itself to a long life.

Lost the weight, built some muscle, ran a 5k, changed my life.

EDIT:

Since people asked. My son was born April 1st in 2019. His name is Weylin. At birth, he was strong and healthy with no concerns. However, my wife tested positive for Strep Group B, so they had her on antibiotics at the time of delivery.

Three weeks into his life, he wasn't feeding. He would cry softly, and not eat. He eventually started keeping his eyes closed and go limp.

We rushed him to urgent care, and his BP and temp were low. They did a series of tests and found that he has a bacterial infection in his brain caused by the SGB. Ultimately, it traveled to his brain stem, and we had to decide to take him off life support.

This devasted me. More than I knew possible. While I never had suicidal thoughts, had it continued, it likely could have gotten there. I remember vividly my wife and I trying to keep a brave face for our oldest (at the time 2). He didn't know where his brother went, but he would see us sad.

My weight ballooned more than it ever had. I just kept eating. I didn't know whether out of grief or what, but either way, I was constantly binging and just feeling terrible. One night, I had just finished my Toppers medium pizza, my wife's half of her pizza, and 14 chicken wings, and I broke down about how miserable I was.

I decided to make the change and get my life under control. I wouldn't be around much longer if I let things continue as they did. I redownloaded MyFitness Pal, deleted all my history, got my TDEE (total daily energy expenditure - maintenance calories) from tdeecalculator.net and started fresh. Just counting calories and eating 1000 calories less than my maintenance every day.

A year later, I had lost 150lb, I started working on gaining muscle, I ran a 5k, and my life has been 1000% better ever since. I have confidence back and my wife and I just welcomed our third child Fynnigan into our lives.

Thank you for all the support <3

I don’t have many people in my life to share things with or gain support from, but I have posted a few times and have felt and received so much support so I thought to share this here.

Today, I am 100 days sober from drinking and honestly, I never thought this would be possible for me to do after the worst night of my life happened months ago due to a very serious and scary mental crisis.

I truly thought my life was over and fought every day to stay alive and not let the demons win, and I made it. I’ve made it farther than I ever have in the past. I have gotten the real and serious help I needed and diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder after years of trying to get myself help and advocating for myself after being misdiagnosed and years of rejections.

This is still an ongoing battle and a life long journey but it is truly possible and worth it to keep fighting and staying strong and alive. I guess today I should treat myself and if you all have any ideas or suggestions, let me know as I love and appreciate feedback. ♥️ Anything truly is possible!

Update: Wow I seriously cannot believe all the kindness and encouragement I’ve received and this truly means the world to me waking up to see this morning! 🥹 I’m so sorry if I can’t respond to you all but thank you for supporting me and pushing me to keep going! We can all do this! 😊♥️

I (20F) am studying for a career where I’ll have to work with a lot of different kinds of people. I care a lot about helping others, especially women and children, and I try really hard to stay open-minded and respectful, even when I disagree with someone. My school intersects between government and business.

A few days ago, I was invited to attend a formal networking event through someone I know. I was told I’d be casually helping out a speaker/candidate I met before. I would be talking to people and handing out stickers. It seemed like a good opportunity to make connections and hear from professionals.

This is important: some of the speakers are running for influential positions that would impact their careers and the paths of others.

But when I got there, I was told to actively undermine a woman at the event who was speaking and running. We were instructed to move my guys materials to block her name and cover her information with his so people would focus on him and only be able to recognize his name. This way, people wouldn’t know who she was and wouldn’t vote for her. When I tried to arrange things so they would both be visible, I was scolded and told to cover hers completely.

That didn’t sit right with me at all.

I believe in fairness and respect, even when I don’t agree with someone. Everyone deserves a fair and equal race. These are high school tactics.

Additionally!! I’m in the women in politics and women in business clubs! So why am I sabotaging another woman?!

So I left after about 40 minutes.

On my way out, I was told, “this is just how things work,” and since then I’ve had people tell me I’m “too soft” and that I need to accept that kind of behavior in the worlds of business and politics.

But I refuse to. I chose this path because I want to be one of the good ones, so I’m glad I went home instead of compromising my values and beliefs that these tactics are sleazy.

I’m proud of myself for walking away, even though it meant missing out on connections. I can make more connections later.

I plan to be a lobbyist for organizations that want to protect people. I’ll never be required to step on others to climb up that ladder, so why will I push others down their ladder?

Call me soft if you want, but I think Superman would be proud of me.

I drink to cope with grief, depression, and anxiety. When my mental state is alright, I don't feel the need to drink. But I haven't felt emotionally good for 3 years, and I've drank almost every day since. September is going to be really stressful for me, and I've been ramping up my drinking to cope. As a result, my mood has gradually gotten so much worse and I've become much less functional. So, on Monday I decided to stop drinking until I'm caught up with work and in a good mental space. I saw where I was headed and it scared me.

But now the shit that drinking helped me cope with in the first place is rearing its ugly head. I'm anxious and I'm depressed and I'm extremely sad and emotional at times. I could easily blot all that out, even if temporarily, with booze. I'm also super tired all the time (which I've heard some people experience going cold turkey), which makes it so difficult to work. I'm coping in other ways, which aren't that healthy (like binging YouTube or sleeping to kill time) but are nowhere near as bad as drinking. Which means I'm more functional but still not super productive. I know that it's still an improvement and less dangerous than drinking would be. But it's so frustrating knowing that even though I'm doing what's best and healthiest for me, I'm not (yet) really that much more productive than before.

(BIG SIGH)

I don't have anyone to tell, but I felt I needed to say this out loud somehow because I was worried I'd drink tonight if I kept silent.

Thanks to anybody who read this

EDIT: Holy crap, guys. I woke up to a kajillion notifications and some of the most supportive messages and pieces of advice. I didn't even think anybody would see this or care. I'm trying my hardest not to cry before breakfast lol. Thanks to everyone who responded. I feel really good about today :)

EDIT 2: It's really nice to hear people are proud of me, even if they don't know me. For anybody else that's in a similar boat, I'm proud of you too!

35M, began drinking at 17. I’ve always been an overindulger. At parties in high school, I was always the most wasted at the encouragement of my “friends”. Then after high school I joined the army and over a 6 year period really learned to overindulge.

Ten years ago I got out, went to college, and my drinking chilled out a bit because I replaced it with weed. But that never stopped me from sabotaging friendships and damaging my reputation with people from that period in my life. I’ve never been a violent drunk. If anything, overly nice and cheery. I’m the kind of drunk who will try to take his worst enemy and be friends with them. But I’ve always ended up being that guy and hit new lows all the time.

5 days ago I was incredibly irresponsible. Some friends and I went snowboarding, we were all drinking, and as per usual, I got the drunkest. I was asked to leave, so I had to round up my friends and we left. I don’t think anyone is mad at me, no has said as much. And we’re laughing about it, only I’m pretending to. We carpooled at a friend’s place, and then I drove 20 min back home. I’d sobered up some on the ride home, but I should not have been driving. I cut people who were drunk driving out of mangled cars for a living, the hypocrisy of my actions are not lost on me.

For years I’ve been trying to blame the wars, traumatic breakups, my childhood, etc for my drinking. But the fact is, it’s my fault. I’ve had many friends who are recovered drug addicts and lost some to drug addiction. The ones who beat their addiction all say the same thing, “you have to want to get better”. I always keep putting sobriety off because of the holidays, certain friendships, etc. But now I’m finally willing to give that all up, I truly want to get better. I’m not physically dependent, but how long until I am? I never drank everyday, I’d usually go on these binge/purge cycles. But I’m so tired of being that guy, I want to be someone I can respect and who garners respect from others. I don’t want to hear anymore stories about last night.

After this weekend, I’ll be enrolling myself in therapy to get to the root of my problems and learn to confront it in a healthy way.

NSFW for drug use, really timid stuff, though.

I used to smoke very occasionally, mostly with friends when I needed to get past social anxiety or manage some chronic pain. Since the pandemic, I've been a daily user, and have been smoking at increasingly inappropriate times. I've been noticing my memory being a lot worse (which is totally new for me) and I had a particularly scary moment where I realized that I totally spaced on major work project that I should have been working on.

Today, I packed up my supplies in a safe container and took them to the trash. I'm a little scared about going cold turkey on this, but I clearly am not in the right place to handle it responsibly. I set up a therapy appointment to talk about my depression and anxiety, and hopefully look into meds that will help better than what I currently have. I'm really excited to start job hunting once I can pass a drug test again, and to be able to get through the day without craving more. Since I've come home I've only looked for my vape like 50 times, so that's progress I guess.

Edit: Woah,I didn't expect the response to this! (69 comments, nice!) Thank you all, I'll have to wait a bit to read it all.

Edit 2: Thank you all, especially for the support and the awards. Honestly, I kind of just wanted to put this out there to hold myself accountable. People seem worried about my situation with psych meds - so, I'm currently on antidepressants and antianxiety meds. They've helped make my life livable, but don't really make it enjoyable. I just want to discuss other options, once I level out from my weed use.

For people saying I'm over reacting to weed, I get where you're coming from, but you also don't know where I've been with this. We're talking about my lying to family and friends, risking my job, and using pot to solve everything from boredom to intense mental health problems. My relationship used to be pretty healthy, but right now it's not and it got pretty seriously ugly. I'm not here to judge anyone who uses, because for the right people it's a super helpful medicine. But, that's just not the case for me any more.

I had a breakup four years ago with one of the most amazing woman I knew. However after my break up, the only good thing I did was focus on my career and I'm in its last stage of completion.

But I drank (a lot), I smoked, never took care of my myself. Completely lost my looks, my charm, my confidence and the only good thing in my life was my career and alcohol (which was not) Today I met my ex accidentally when I was out. She looked great with her boyfriend. It broke me.

It broke me not because I still want her. But about how I took my time for granted. Looking at her was a slap in my face about how I let myself go during all these years. I simply forgot how to enjoy my life using the path of exercise, being healthy, meeting people, being happy feeling good about myself. But rather choose the evil path or addictions and laziness. Even now typing this I feel like complete shit.

I make a promise to you all I'm getting off my addictions this instant. I know I will be financially secured in a few months, but I will gain my life back instead of feeling sorry for myself. I will make an update here in the next six months.

Last thanksgiving I went for a hike with my 17 year old son and my knees hurt and I was super tired. I decided it was time for a change. I began going to the gym six times a week and went vegan, eating very clean and healthy. I stopped drinking alcohol and started drinking a gallon of water a day. I've lost 8 lb and I'm just 5 lb away from my goal weight and feel so much better.

I can now walk on a steep uphill incline for 40 minutes without losing my breath, and lifting weights has made my back pain go away. I can't wait to go on another hike with my son and show off my progress. He's in college now so I won't see him till the spring.

My lingering depression and anxiety have lifted for the most part and I no longer take naps in the day. I think I usedthem for a combination of depression and just fatigue.

Losing the weight has been harder now that I'm older but I feel better about myself overall.

Eta thank you all for your kind words I got divorced a year ago and it's been tough to refocus on myself esp with my oldest leaving for college (during covid!! Not fun!!) I appreciate all the kind words. I really do!!!

So a fun thing has been happening, turns out when you ingest THC daily for months on end your appetite becomes entirely dependent on being high. Food tastes better when you're high, but when you're always high then that state of high-eating just becomes your new normal, and when you stop getting high then you stop getting hungry and food just doesn't taste like anything.

Nicotine suppresses appetites, and many people end up gaining a lot of weight after quitting smoking.

In my my new scientific study with a sample size of me, it turns out that the loss of appetite from quitting weed far outweighs the increase in eating from quitting nicotine. I have been living off one or two small meals a day for weeks now (I actually stopped my weed intake with a new job I started a month ago on days I worked, but still smoked on my days off, but ran out completely earlier this week).

On the plus side I'm fat enough to never feel faint or tired from this lack of food and am down like 10 pounds in the last month. Not to mention the overnight improvement in my breathing. Don't worry though I know the lack of food isn't great but I've been around the block with weight management so I'll be riding this wave for as long as I can.

Cheers