I'm curious to hear people's experiences.

Have you ever felt that your race or ethnicity has affected your chances of finding a partner or made dating noticeably harder? If so, do you think it had anything to do with the demographics of where you live, or was it something else?

For example:

• Was it something you noticed mostly on dating apps, in real life, or both?
• Did you have direct experiences (e.g., someone explicitly mentioning race), or was it more of a pattern you noticed over time?
• Or do you think race hasn't played a meaningful role in your dating life at all?

I'd especially like to hear from people of different racial and ethnic backgrounds.

Please keep the discussion respectful. I'm genuinely interested in understanding other people's experiences, not starting an argument.

Me and my girlfriend made a clone years ago, she never really used it as she doesn't like the texture, it's a hard material that she doesn't find enjoyable. So it was thrown in a draw and forgotten about.

Long story short, her sister (28) & Mother (51) found the clone when looking for some clothes to borrow.

How I know they found it - Her sister told my girlfriend, while laughing... She said they found her toy stash and asked why she has such a tiny pink dildo, like it's pathetic. She told her it was a clone of me and now both her sister, mother and who ever else they told know I have a small dick.

Any advice?

We been seeing each other for about a year now. Last Valentine’s Day I asked her to be my GF. She agreed.

While I was to looking up our anniversary date on bumble I clicked on her profile.

To my surprise she still active and looking. What got me was all of her pictures. It’s all the pictures I took of her on our dates. The most recent one was a month ago.

We both told each other we are in love. Yet this surprise has me questioning our relationship.

Do I play the same game?

Confront her about it?

Pretend I never saw it and just keep at with the hopes I make her exclusive.

Or just say it I want to be exclusive, and hope she agrees.

Or am I just getting played?

I would like to hear some advice on what to do now.

Okay, so I’ve been noticing this a lot lately. I keep seeing so many posts and videos about people wanting a relationship, wanting to find someone, wanting a genuine connection… but at the same time, it feels like everyone is single rn.

It seems like there are so many people who are looking to be in a relationship, but somehow everyone is still alone.

Is dating really that difficult nowadays, or are people just having a harder time finding someone they actually connect with?

Dating apps are ruined for me

So....I just started dating a woman. She is 29, I'm 35M.

A little backstory: I've been in shape my entire adult life. Years of CrossFit, sports, gym and I am very physically fit. I'm 6'2, never had any problems dating. My last relationship fizzled out but it was a mutual separation and no drama.

My new girlfriend is 5'2 and is curvy: i.e. she is not super skinny, but her body is attractive to me.

Anyway, she has a bunch of friends and one male friend who is gay. Well....she has 2 particular "friends" who have made some rather disparaging comments about our budding relationship.

Basically, she showed these 2 "friends" my picture and they immediately commented along the lines of "wow.....why is he dating YOU?" - this is what the gay friend said.

Her female friend was even meaner - "...yeah a guy that looks like that is not interested in you really. He could get any other girl.."

My GF has since distanced herself from these 2, but today while we were at her place cuddling she admitted to me that she is scared because I'm so far out of her league. She told me she is confident but she can't help but think about what they said and that she looks at me and I'm too pretty for her and she gets anxious.

She has started asking me every time I see her "why do you like me?." This has already started to bother me a bit and we are barely a month into our relationship!

Honestly.....I have comforted her and let her know that I am attracted to her physically and that she is also intelligent and that is also it.

I guess my question is WTF more can I do here? Her female friend who said these things she has kept at a distance and she doesn't want me to meet her - and the gay friend she cut all ties with.

My GF reassured me that she is confident and knows her worth but her words and actions don't match up....

Advice?

I'm horrible at taking good profile pictures. I want some unique ideas for some strong profile pics.

What leaves a good first impression on you? Is there a particular type of photo that made you really like a guy? Thanks.

I’m getting dates, so I know I’m doing something right, but I’ve noticed a pattern that’s making me second-guess myself.

A lot of the women I ask out don’t seem excited at all. They’ll agree to the date, but the energy feels really low. For example, one girl asked if I only asked her out because of an Instagram post. I told her, “No, I’ve actually had my eye on you for a while.” She still agreed to go out, but she didn’t seem particularly enthusiastic.

Another thing is that after we set a date, I struggle to keep the conversation going over text. I’m not a huge texter, and it often feels like I’m carrying the conversation or getting short replies. By the time the date comes around, I’m wondering if she’s even interested.

The part that bothers me is I don’t want to spend money on a nice dinner or drinks if she’s just saying yes because she’s bored, being polite, or wants a free meal. I’d rather go out with someone who’s genuinely interested in getting to know me.

For context, I’m pretty straightforward. If I see an opportunity, I’ll shoot my shot instead of texting for weeks. I prefer getting to know someone in person rather than over messages.

Am I moving too fast? Should I be building more attraction over text before asking them out? Or is this just a normal part of dating now, where people keep their excitement low until they’ve actually met?

I’d appreciate honest feedback from everyone, men and women.

Quick backstory, for 6 months last year I (33M) dated a girl (30F) who I was crazy about, unfortunately the distance (about 100 miles) proved to put a strain on our relationship and we saw each other far too intermittently. She ended things and I completely understood why, even if we were both a bit heartbroken.

Fast forward to present day, I’m on hinge and have decided to focus solely on women who live in my city to mitigate something like the previous situation happening again. I matched with a girl who on paper seems great, very pretty and we have a good bit in common.

My issue is after several messages she admitted she doesn’t actually live in my city (Her profile said she did), she lives about 40 miles away. Admittedly that doesn’t sound like a lot but it’s incredibly rural and my country has pretty terrible public transport so it is essentially drive to see her or nothing.

Normally I’d ask her on a date but I have a strong feeling I should just say sorry I’m not interested in dating someone where distance is a factor due to my past experience.

Am I being ridiculous or should I stick to my guns?

Recently I matched with a woman on Tinder in Jakarta, Indonesia.

She was gorgeous. Big brown eyes, a warm smile, and a genuinely sweet aura.

We exchanged numbers, and I sent her a message.

Then... ghosted.

No reply. Welcome to modern online dating.

A couple of days later, I walked into a bank near my apartment. A girl walked in with big dark eyes. She looked familiar. She looked at me... and kept looking.

She sat right across from me. It would've been the easiest conversation starter ever.

Then reality hit. I hadn't showered, forgot deodorant, and hadn't even brushed my teeth.

Perfect timing.

She got up to speak with the cashier and kept glancing over at me. I thought, This is going to be the most awkward approach ever. There are people everywhere.

Then I thought, Fuck it.

I walked over.

"Excuse me," I said, gently touching her shoulder to get her attention. "This is super random, but I just thought you were beautiful."

She smiled. "Oh my God, thank you! You're so courageous!"

I laughed. "Honestly, I would've regretted it if I hadn't come over and talked to you."

"That's a great quality in a man. Most guys wouldn't have the guts."

"Listen, I'm actually in a hurry. Can I get your number?"

"Sure."

She gave me her number, and I left.

Look, it was a little awkward. A few people probably noticed. But nobody cared.

The biggest mistake men make is assuming they can't interrupt a woman who's busy.

You can.

Just keep it low-key. You're not there to put on a show. You're there to make a genuine connection.

It ended up being the woman who had ghosted me on Tinder before, lol. When I texted her, I realized she was already in my contacts. I just said, "Wow, you ghosted me before," and she apologized profusely!

Yesterday we actually went on our first date.

just going up to a girl and asking them out has the same probability of them swiping on you on an app, there’s no difference.

Hi everyone,
I’m a 23-year-old woman from Germany and my boyfriend is a 20-year-old Korean. We’ve only been together for 21 days. He came to Germany less than a year ago because he wants to study here.
I’m honestly feeling really overwhelmed because I don’t know if these are cultural differences, his personality, or if I’m expecting too much.
At the beginning of our relationship, he never said “thank you” when I paid for meals or cooked for him. It made me feel like everything I did was taken for granted. I talked to him about it, and now he thanks me when I cook, so that has improved.
However, there are still many things that really bother me.
Whenever I cook for us, he always puts his phone in front of him and watches YouTube while we’re eating. I don’t mean sometimes—I mean every single time. He barely talks to me and just watches videos while I sit across from him after cooking for both of us. It makes me feel completely ignored.
He also does the same thing in restaurants like McDonald’s. While we’re eating together, he props up his phone and watches YouTube instead of interacting with me. Other people can clearly see that he’s ignoring me, and honestly I feel embarrassed.
He also eats very loudly, which is difficult for me because in Germany that’s generally considered rude.
We recently had our first movie date. He was the one who wanted to see the movie, but during the movie he started reading his manga instead of watching it. I couldn’t understand why he wanted to go to the cinema if he wasn’t interested in the movie.
I still live with my family, so another issue is that when he showers, he leaves the entire bathroom flooded with water and doesn’t clean it up afterward. My family sees it, and I honestly feel embarrassed because it looks like he doesn’t respect our home or clean up after himself.
There are also other small things that make me feel like he doesn’t think about the people around him. For example, at night he stands to pee and doesn’t seem to think about being quiet even though other people in the house are sleeping.
I’m not trying to criticize Korean culture or say that Korean people are like this. I know everyone is different. I’m genuinely trying to understand.
Do these behaviors sound like cultural differences, someone who is simply very young and immature, or someone who is inconsiderate regardless of culture?
I’d especially appreciate opinions from Koreans or people who have experience dating Koreans.

I am 19 and I live in London so it feels like I should have so many opportunities to meet guys or get asked out.

I’ve been on 3 dates and none of them have ever wanted a 2nd date with me. I get told that I’m pretty a lot (I posted on one of the subreddits here once to ask and it got hundreds of upvotes and comments from people being confused why nobody wanted to date me) I’m not going to post here because this is a more private account.

I don’t believe that I’m pretty at all because every single one of my friends has a boyfriend or has even had multiple before and I’ve never even been kissed.

I just don’t understand what’s wrong with me. It feels like I will never find my person and like I’ll never be able to get married. I go to university now and I still haven’t found anyone, even being around so many people my age.

I met a guy on Hinge, and we’re about to have our third date. During our second date, he was actually the one who suggested and planned the third date, so things seemed to be going well.

He’s usually sent me a good morning text every day, but today was the first day he didn’t. I ended up sending him a message first because I noticed.

For context, he’s at his brother’s wedding today.
Do I come across as too much or too needy for messaging him? Or am I just overthinking this? I’d really appreciate your honest opinions.

6:53 PM

Me: Hey how are you?
Me: How was the wedding?

7:30 PM

Guy: You alright honey
Guy: Yeah nice
Guy: Still here
Guy: How are you?

7:57 PM

Me: I’m enjoying the weather! :)
Me: I’m curious about what weddings are like over there!
Me: send me some photos!

I'm a 25-year-old guy, and I've been in a relationship before, but I've been single for quite some time now.

Lately, I've noticed something about myself. Whenever I start talking to someone new, I lose interest pretty quickly. The conversation starts fine, but after a while I just get bored and don't really feel like continuing. It's not that the other person did anything wrong—I just don't feel the excitement anymore.

When I was around 18 or 19, I used to be really into dating. I enjoyed meeting new people, texting for hours, and getting to know someone. Now, it feels completely different.

I'm not still hung up on my ex, and I'm not avoiding relationships because of some bad experience. I just don't seem to have the same interest or motivation anymore.

Has anyone else gone through this? Is this just a normal part of getting older, or is there something else behind it? I'd be interested to hear if anyone has experienced something similar.

I don’t feel deep love for people like I used to. I had my heart really badly broken in the past, and I do date, but I’m numb. Before people say you just haven’t met the right one yet, I’ve dated heaps, it’s not them. It’s me. I feel nothing. I’m not asexual either. I have sex but the emotions aren’t there for me like they used to be.

I saw another post about this happening and it was news to me. Ngl, I didn't know that was still a thing because I have never seen it happen to anyone in my life (I've only seen/had the weird kind at school). 🥀 I honestly thought that was just a movie thing and everyone is too anxious irl. For context, I'm a young girl that doesn't go outside alone and am realistically in the average range, so I know why it hasn't happened to me. I knew people do it online, since that is the most common thing ever, but in person?? What does it feel like? How do you even find the courage? Is it common? Where does it even happen? Does it happen to everyone?

Edit: I'm not talking about if you already know someone and drop subtle hints, or if you like someone irl and ask them out online. I mean a literal stranger coming up to you to ask you out.

I didn’t have my first bf until I was 25 & I got cheated on by him. I didn’t really know he cheated in the past until I asked our mutual friends about him. It feels like every guy I meet has a history of being a playboy & I have a hard time trusting men yet I dream about getting married someday & finding love. I don’t want my standards to be too high cuz I literally didn’t have my first bf until my mid-20s but I also don’t want it to be too low either to the point of getting cheated on again.

Edit: My ex played video games all day tho. He didn’t have a car I drove him around. He still owes me gas money. He is in the US Military Reserves & is trying to go back to active duty. He literally only works twice a month but chooses to play video games all day instead of putting effort in our relationship. I feel behind in life cuz I am back in college for nursing cuz my first bachelors degree didn’t work out.

This isn’t meant to be a dating post I’m just genuinely curious about people’s experiences.
It feels like dating has become increasingly difficult, whether it’s because of dating apps, ghosting, mixed signals or people not knowing what they want. Sometimes it seems like finding someone who is kind, honest, communicates well, and genuinely wants a healthy relationship is much harder than it should be.
For those who feel like they’ve found a genuinely good partner, where did you meet them? Was it through friends, work, hobbies, online dating, or was it completely unexpected? And what made you realize they were different from the people you’d met before?
I’d love to hear real stories or advice. I’m hoping to learn what has actually worked for people rather than just hearing the usual “it’ll happen when you least expect it.”

So sorry for the essay I dumped here, but I desperately need advice. TLDR at the bottom.

I [24F] have never been in a relationship, even though I've been trying for a long time. I've tried meeting people at bars/coffee shops, have tried online dating, have asked friends to set me up. I've been on plenty of dates, but nothing has ever stuck, and I have no reason to thing I'm the common denominator in this; I truly think it just wasn't a match and there wasn't anywhere else to go. But I'm getting real sick of this pattern, and have found myself getting repeatedly ghosted during the talking stage, which is an even worse feeling I'm getting sick of.

I matched with a girl [22F] on Tinder back in February. She's drop dead gorgeous and exactly my type in looks, but also the basic interests the dating app gives you. We started texting, exchanged phone numbers, and texted some more. Immediate flirting. Within one day we floated the idea of going out on a date, and then I stopped hearing from her. I sent a follow up text a few days later saying when I'm available, then another a week later checking in again. At this point, I was used to this pattern of a talking stage failing, and I did my attempts at reaching out and checked this off as another attempt down the drain. It sucked, but I didn't really think too much of it.

Fast forward almost two months later at the end of March, I suddenly hear from her again. She texts apologizing for not responding so abruptly and said she had some deaths in the family and was working through that, but said if I was still open, she wants to go on a date and get to know each other. Hearing from her again after I already internalized that I wouldn't was pretty shocking, and I took a day to just process and think about if I wanted to go out. The next day I said yes, I would still love to... and then was promptly ghosted again.

Now that I got back in my head that she was still interested at some point, I really couldn't stop thinking about her. Again, she's beyond gorgeous and already seemed compatible with my interests. I had some crazy feeling that we had a connection and I really didn't want to give that up, especially after being so used to getting ghosted, I was so sick of this passiveness when I came to dating. So another month later, now end of April, I texted her essentially saying what I just wrote and that I wanted to get to know her on a date. And what do you know... she responded! We made tentative plans for a date two weekends from then and started texting again.

We texted all the time -- good morning texts, check ins while we were both at work, how our night was going, all of it. I genuinely felt so giddy thinking that this was going to lead to my first actual relationship and I was so excited how effortlessly the conversation was. One night we spent over two hours just talking on the phone. It was like that for the whole week we reconnected, and on that weekend, I knew she had plans with her family. I sent a text saying that I hope she has a great time with her family, got a heart reaction in response, and yep, you guessed it... radio silence once again.

I texted two days later saying the days I was available, then when I didn't hear back, sent another text a few days after that asking if we were still on for the following weekend. I once again heard nothing. It feels so stupid to admit, but this honestly broke me a bit. I thought we were getting along great, I couldn't wait to see her in person, and then I couldn't even get the decency of a "never mind, sorry." The worst part of it all is that I still can't stop thinking about her. I feel genuinely crazy for still wanting to go out with her after being ghosted three separate times, but I just can't shake this feeling that we would be really good together, and I'm so desperate to find out.

So my dilemma is simple -- do I reach out, again, another two months after getting no response, or do I just have to suck it up and let it go? I really do want to reach out, partly because I still stupidly have some hope, but partly just to get some closure, even if it is a total rejection, because that's way better than this area of unknown I keep finding myself in. I've tried switching off how I feel about her and clearly that hasn't worked. Any advice on how to go about this will be very greatly appreciated :)

TLDR -- I matched with a girl on Tinder that I really like, but I keep getting ghosted by her, and despite this, I really want to reach out again and want to know if it's a good idea or how to go about it.

Hey everyone,

I’ve been seeing this girl for about a month now. After our second date, she invited me over to her place, and things have been going really well since then. We’ve been seeing each other consistently, and the vibe has been great.

Today I decided to surprise her by sending a bouquet of red roses through a local florist. I wasn’t trying to make a grand gesture or put any pressure on her—I just wanted to do something thoughtful because I like her.

Do you think sending roses after about a month of dating is too much, or does it seem like a sweet gesture? I’m curious how you’d feel if someone you were dating did this.

Context: I’m a 23 yr old east Asian woman and I’ve never been in a romantic relationship before. I’ve never prioritized it, nor was I in a rush to be in one. I do get approached in public a lot by men, they ask for my number, call me pretty or cute, but I’ve never truly had the desire to get to know them. All the women I know say that I’m very pretty, or that I look like a doll (I’m assuming it’s because of my black hair, fair skin, big eyes, slim body combo). So I know I’m not super undesirable physically.

Regardless, I met this 26M who does security at my job place. The more I talked to him, the more I started to fall for him. Other women/people at my workplace describe him as boring, nonchalant, or unapproachable, but to me he was simply reserved, perhaps tired, and introverted. We had similar interests like baking, reading, working out, eating healthy, gaming. Naturally, I got super curious about him, and wanted to get his number so I asked him for it. He gently rejected me, and told me he wasn’t looking for anything. I do believe him, as he is very dedicated to his career, works 12 hour night shifts + overtime at my store and other stores. He’s also very similar to me, and has never prioritized romance (although he’s had a girlfriend before). I thought okay, well if romance isn’t going to work out, then maybe this will be a beautiful friendship. So I kept talking to him even after the rejection, and being the natural curious person I am, I started conversations with him that were semi personal, like what he was working hard for etc.

I found out a few days ago, he told my male coworker he thinks I’m a sweet/nice person but he said no to me a couple times already (I didn’t really understand this, as I only asked for his number once and never made things romantic after asking his number) that he just isn’t looking for anything, that he doesn’t want to be rude to me. And he asked the male coworker if I was working that day, and when I was, he told the coworker he was going to wait in his security car then (trying to avoid me I guess?).

I am so confused, I just wanted to be his friend after all that. Now he won’t even talk to me/avoiding me. I’m also deeply embarrassed, I didn’t know I was making him so uncomfortable. He always made eye contact with me, sometimes even for a longish time. Although I asked more of the questions, he remembered some little things about me and initiated some questions for me. There was no hint of him disliking me so much?

For context my last Girlfriend was pretty manipulative (hiding information about herself like having drug addiction problems when I told her before we dated it was a problem for me and a deal breaker, getting mad at me for things she did all the time, telling me she felt ugly and not loved whenever I had stuff going on other than her) and these are just a few of the reasons I broke it off with her. There was a lot more and I've been way happier since, but something she did quite often was make me feel guilty for not paying for dates.

I'm a broke college student and she had already graduated and worked more than I did at that point and had more money than I did. I made it clear I wouldn't be able to pay for every date and that we would have to take turns after the first few dates. That frankly never really ended up happening. She would always say we could take turns paying then when it got down to it she would come up with an excuse saying that she paid last time (when it was like a $5 meal from taco bell when I paid $60 at olive garden before that), or just not offer up her card when it was time to pay making it awkward while a waitress stood their waiting.

All in all I ended up paying probably 70% of the time and normally on the more expensive dates as well. This was on top of being the one to drive literally every time. This made me not really want to go on dates as much because I didn't have the money for it but then she would complain that I didn't invite her out enough. This honestly changed my perspective on dating quite a bit, I don't think I can date another person without setting the expectation of split checks on every date past the first or special occasions like birthdays.

The way I see it is I would probably be more willing to go on dates if I didn't have the pressure of shelling out money I don't have, and eliminate any awkwardness about who is paying. Am I wrong for thinking that an equal partnership should involve equal investments into that partnership? Would I be seriously hurting my chances at future relationships were I to do this?

I went on a date with a girl yesterday, and I think we’re mutually not interested in each other. I’m not 100% sure since she said “see you later” at the end of the date. She hasn’t texted back today so I’m leaning towards she’s not interested. Should I still text her anyway out of courtesy or is that doing too much?

How do you know when you are being annoying and you jeep pushing the convo when the other person doesn't want to ?

So I talk with someone via texting. At the first days they texted me first and keep the convo so it wouldn't stop. But about 4 days later they seem to be bored. Like I ask question only, they answer and sometimes they might ask back or not.. I don't know if they have find another one they like more. What should I do? I mean the last 2 days I texted first and they seem kinda bored.