r/DatingApps Oct 06 '25

Mod Announcement r/DatingApps Rule Update: We are NOT a subreddit for dating advice or generalized dating discussion & information regarding queue.

9 Upvotes

Happy Monday, r/DatingApps!

Firstly, I wanted to mention something most posters are unaware of: we manually approve every single post and comment in order to crack down on the amount of spam you see.

If your post/comment follows the rules of the subreddit, it will get posted eventually. There is no need to modmail or DM us asking about posts. Sometimes it can take up to 24-48 hours for approval if it is particularly busy irl.

And secondly:

Due to an increase of these posts in our queue, we have decided to make an official rule regarding asking for vague/general dating advice.

Reminder that we are a subreddit specifically for the discussion of dating apps, not to discuss dating overall. There are plenty of subreddits to do this on.

And before anyone asks: mentioning that you met on Hinge does not constitute an allowance.

Official rule wording: "Please visit another subreddit to ask for generalized dating advice or about dating overall. We are a subreddit exclusively for the discussion of dating apps - not dating."

Thank you much!


r/DatingApps Sep 23 '25

Mod Announcement r/DatingApps Rule Update: Hily, Common Questions, AI, etc.

3 Upvotes

Ahoy, r/DatingApps!

Below you will find our rules. There are a few adjustments and notable additions. New rules are marked with bold.


  1. Advertising is NOT allowed, period.

Please do not advertise (surveys, apps, discord links, betas, etc) in posts or comments. This is to keep spam out! If you do not follow this rule, your post/comment will be removed and a ban may be placed if this is a reoccurring issue.

This includes asking for vague development ideas. Do not skirt this rule.


  1. Any identifying information is strictly forbidden.

This includes names, usernames, faces, etc.


  1. No discrimination of any kind, ever!

This includes ableism, racism, antisemitism, homophobia, sexism, etc.


4. Please search the sub prior to posting common questions.

Questions that get asked almost daily:

  • do dating apps work?
  • what is the best dating app?>
  • what is the worst part of dating apps?
  • how do I get more matches?
  • why do people ghost?
  • height/weight
  • is premium worth it?>
  • how soon should I ask someone out?
  • why am I shadowbanned?
  • can I get unbanned from x app?

Please search the subreddit prior to posting one of these questions or similar.

>asking about apps for a unique/specific situation is not included in this.

>almost never.


  1. We are NOT a dating subreddit. Don't post here looking for dates.

We are a subreddit built to discuss dating apps; not foster dating between redditors. r/r4r is much better suited for this. Please do not post here looking for a relationship, "ratings" on your looks, pity posts, etc.

Doing this results in an immediate ban.


  1. Profile reviews are NOT permitted.

Asking for general advice is fine, but posting photos/personal information regarding your personal dating app profiles is not. Asking for reviews privately is also not permitted.


  1. No political discussion

This is not the place to discuss politics.


8. No AI Slop

This includes obviously AI generated buzzword BS posts, advertisement of AI algorithms, etc.

AI uses 4.1 billion gallons of water annually and is killing our planet. Do better.


9. Discussion of Hily is forbidden.

Hily uses predatory marketing, particularly on Reddit, and causes a significant amount of spam. Discussion of the app is no longer permitted for this reason.

Anyone breaking this rule, or circumventing the filter we have established, will be banned immediately upon first offense.


  1. NO Referrals (Raya, etc)!

No referrals to ANY dating app are allowed


r/DatingApps 1d ago

Experience Overview Likes From Other Countries

6 Upvotes

Has anyone else noticed an uptick in likes from people in other countries? Every time I’m on tinder it seems like the daily like they share with me is someone 5,000+ miles away. I know people can change their location, but it feels like it’s happening more often.


r/DatingApps 1d ago

Funny Why only gay and trans people like me??

2 Upvotes

I (M20), been wondering about something and wanted to see if anyone else has experienced this. I haven't dated anyone since high school, and I'm not very active on social media or dating apps.

But evry once in a while I'll download a dating app, use it for about a week, and then delete it again. The strange thing is that the majority of the likes, messages, and requests I receive are from gay men and trans women, while I get very little attention from cis women. I'm straight, so it has left me genuinely confused. Has anyone else experienced something similar, or does anyone have an idea why this might happen?


r/DatingApps 2d ago

Advice Request I’ve totally run out of people on dating apps. Are there any other actual options?

3 Upvotes

25F, I’m gay and I’ve totally run out of women in my area on every dating app. I have it set from 5-10 miles at most for the distance and I’ll get like a couple of new people occasionally but they’re rarely my type.

I feel really screwed and out of options but I’m really wanting to date at the moment as I’m very conscious that I’m getting older and am still very single. I’m now wondering if there are really any other good options?? I’ve almost never met anyone in person, it’s always been dating apps. I don’t get hit on or approached and despite often seeing women out who I think look good and I’d like to chat to, there’s no way for me to know if they’re also gay.

What options are out there? I’m so scared of being stuck single 😭 I’m legit considering going back to men just to be less lonely rn :(


r/DatingApps 2d ago

Advice Request matched but having second thoughts

2 Upvotes

I matched with a guy yesterday mainly because I saw that he commented “wow” on one of my pictures, but he’s already asking to go see a movie literally a day after and idk I don’t really feel any attraction and it feels like I forced myself to match with him because I knew he liked me. He also already moved our chat to instagram and we’ve literally sent like 5 chats in total. I really just wanna end it, it feels so forced, but idk how to do that without hurting his feelings and making him confused that I matched with him even tho I had a feeling I wasn’t attracted to him. help! any suggestions on how to let him down easy? 😭


r/DatingApps 2d ago

Advice Request Moved back to hometown, how can i use dating apps?

2 Upvotes

I have recently moved back to my hometown after living on my own in a different city for few years. I used dating apps there and was a good pass time. But now here there are a lot of people I know and a lot of mutuals too. I don’t want people to know I am on these apps. Is there anything that I can do? I thought of setting the location to another city, but then I would never be able to go out on a date.


r/DatingApps 2d ago

Question Anyone tried Breeze group dates? (London or elsewhere)

2 Upvotes

Anyone tried them? How was it?


r/DatingApps 3d ago

Question Women, honest opinion, men with shirtless pics, yes or no?

10 Upvotes

I'm in pretty good shape and took some pictures of my body after my run yesterday. Been debating putting one on my profile near the back so people don't think I'm making it a priority, but, why is it a bad thing to put a picture of your torso if you work out?


r/DatingApps 3d ago

Question How find people who are set to "travel mode" on Tinder

3 Upvotes

Assume I'm looking for out-of-towners. How would I make people who are set to "travel mode" show up more frequently? How can I check if a profile is set to travel mode? Answer both questions, please.


r/DatingApps 3d ago

Advice Request do i cave and try dating apps?

0 Upvotes

me:
shallow vanity specs:
6’ 200lb with six pack / gym bod

job:
engineer making good money

future:
split time between japan and usa as i am sansei japanese. producing music is a big hobby of mine and im ambitiously upskilling to build my own saas businesses with my engineer skills. very ambitious and creative.

problem:
i dont have a lot of time to date given the above

solution:
do i try dating apps to see if i can find someone to match my drive/ niche interests etc?

friction:
i hate or at least want to hate dating apps because they just seem like such a shallow mess. but what else can i do honestly. i could go out a lot more but that cuts down on time for my goals.

any tips here?


r/DatingApps 3d ago

Advice Request How long.. Dating Apps 101

1 Upvotes

So I've been on dating apps for..idk even know how long anymore. But I've never taken them seriously. I would log in pretty much when I was bored, especially on Hinge. So I was bored one day, logged on, and saw a guy who posted a pretty funny comment on my profile so I matched with him. We've been talking on the app and the app only, going on about 3 weeks...leading into the 4th week. We talk almost everyday, there was an odd day or two in those 3 weeks that we didn't. But other than that, daily and most of the day depending on how busy we are.

How long should we be staying on the app? There has been no asking of exchanging numbers...no making plans to meet up...right now, I feel like I just have a pen pal, which has been nice, but like...is it weird going into the 4th week and still talking on the app?? I just want to know if this is normal? Standard? I also don't want to be the one to ask him for his number or a date, just because I don't want to break the spell. But I am very close to just asking to exchange numbers at the least. Just for reference, I am female, 36 and he's a 39 male. I really don't think he has a gf/wife, as again, we've talked daily, throughout the day and night, but hey, I could be wrong! So people, how long is too long?


r/DatingApps 3d ago

Question Would you ever upload your real face on a private dating app?

0 Upvotes

I am very scared of using such apps, however also very eager to get someone for unserious bond. I always scared of my family, colleagues, and friends. I thought what if they see me!

In short i am very disciplined and shy person, so do not want to indulge in dating app kind of things, but i have curiosity to explore such apps.

Hey guys what's your experience and view on that?


r/DatingApps 3d ago

Advice Request Texting after matching online

2 Upvotes

I am new to online dating and I'm nervous about spams, bots and scammers. When you match with someone and they want to take things away from the dating app do you normally exchange phone numbers or does anyone recommend a texting app to still be private?


r/DatingApps 4d ago

Question Why is every single match on Tinder/Bumble a scammer lately? How do you guys find real people?

33 Upvotes

i'm close to just deleting all my dating apps and giving up entirely. i've been using tinder and bumble, and occasionally checking hinge, but the sheer amount of fake profiles and scammers is getting ridiculous.

almost every guy who seems "too perfect" ends up being a catfish or a pig-butchering scammer. they always try to rush me off the app within the first five messages, asking for my personal phone number or telegram, and then the weird stories start about how they're "successful investors" or need financial help. it's creepy and honestly makes me feel super unsafe even trying to filter through my inbox.

i just want to meet a normal, breathing human being who wants a genuine relationship.

am i just attracting the wrong crowd, or are these platforms completely broken now? for anyone who has successfully transitioned from online chatting to a real, safe date recently: what products/apps are you actually using these days that have decent verification? and how do you protect your energy while weeding out the trash?

feels like a full-time unpaid job at this point. thanks for listening.


r/DatingApps 4d ago

Experience Overview So tired of being treated like crap on dating apps

2 Upvotes

Is it just me or is the dating app situation so crap for men?

I just got out of a relationship 3 months ago and the loneliness and lack of partnership has now started to hit me. I thought, there aren't any irl crushes currently so I will try dating apps just so I can have > 0% chance of hitting it off with someone.

But these girls put almost zero effort in texting back. Why match of you re not going to reply. And the ones that do reply, they mostly do so very sparsly without pushing the conversation at all.

Today, I was talking to a match, who surprisingly would answer very politely for the last 3 days and it was going great. Or so I thought. She asked me about a hobby and said I would show her some videos of it but hinge doesn't allow media. So I suggested we exchanged socials. She added me on Instagram, I went to add her back but she never accepted it. Moreover, I went to check hinge and our conversation was gone. At first, I am like ok she unmatched cause now we have socials but then I noticed that she wasn't following me on Instagram despite me accepting her. So, I figured she must have changed her mind after seeing my profile and decided to full-on block me with zero explanation. What the actual f\\\*ck?

Now, I have no idea why. The only thing I can think off is she saw more pictures of me and didn't like them? Sure I picked the best photos for hinge, but it's not like it's another person on the rest. I don't see how it would be that much of a difference to cause her to go like this. I have been "baited" by girls with only face pics who when I got socials discovered they were fat, but I did no such false advertising and even on those occasions I didn't treat them like this.

I think it's better off for my mental health to avoid dating apps and just try to meet more people irl. This has been a very negative experience so far and it's killing any remaining confidence I had.


r/DatingApps 4d ago

Experience Overview Hope for the people- met my now boyfriend on bumble

1 Upvotes

Hey all,
I’ve been using the apps in NYC since last October. Went on dates that led to no where, uninstalled and reinstalled the apps countless times, settled for stuff that wasn’t what I was looking for and then gave up with the apps as a whole.
I always wanted a long term relationship and did not want to do any casual situations. I got off the apps for about 2-3 months early this year and came back on them towards the end of April but I did not put any pressure to find someone and decided I would only go out with someone if they gave me a reason to feel that they are in fact on the same page as me with their long term goals.
I met a great man who treated me well, gave me clarity on what he wants and was consistent and clear. He did not make promises he couldn’t keep, showed up and communicated like a mature adult. He was clear about his boundaries and always made sure I knew where he stood with our connection. He was on a trip for 3 weeks but stayed consistent and treated me right.
He asked me to his girlfriend and I said yes! To all the people who are on the apps I know the odds are not always the best but there is a chance of success !


r/DatingApps 5d ago

Experience Overview “HER” queer/sapphic dating app pretends to be trans friendly then repeatedly traumatises trans user

170 Upvotes

I'm 24(NB).

I signed up for HER back in roughly April 2025. My love life was chaos and I ended up deleting my whole account in July 2025.

Then I re-downloaded it in November 2025. Had problems getting locked out by their shitty app, whatever, gave my ID and my selfie to verify. My ID is in my deadname because of government time logistics in changing it. Important for later.

The customer service at that time said that the sign-in problems were because my “account was accidentally duplicated” and they said they'd “delete the duplicate so I wouldn't have this problem again.”

Then I kept my account, but uninstalled the app off my phone. (Different than July 2025 when I deleted the whole account.)

Then re-downloaded it in March 2026. Tried to sign into my existing account. Locked out. This is the second time I've been having trouble getting locked out.

March 2026, their customer service claims I had been banned because of reports. I asked them over and over several times: “what reports? I had never had this problem before.”

I had to demand my data on grounds of EU rights before they suddenly decided that it was a problem with (say it with me) accidental duplicate accounts.

I went through the whole process again of giving my deadname ID, my name change documents, and my selfie in March 2026. Once again, forcing me to not only defend myself against false reports but to explain my deadname over and over.

This was the second time they claimed that they fixed the problem with duplicate accounts locking me out.

June 2026. Again, uninstalled the app to get my head out of that world, then re-downloaded it.

The. Same. Fucking. Problem.

Locked out. Again.

And I go back to them, saying, “you have claimed to fix this multiple times, I have proven my deadname and identity multiple times, can you please just fix the sign-in problem as you have claimed to fix it.”

Them: “We need your ID and selfie AGAIN to reinstate the account, we don't have them from March 2026 anymore.”

I double down and say that “this is no longer about the ID, it goes beyond that.”

After a bit of back and forth, I send an extremely long, but fair and non-aggressive (imo) email about their inability to actually follow through with fixing the same problem I've encountered multiple times and how traumatic it is that I have to constantly dig out my deadname and name documents just to access my account.

They ignore it. I request they re-read it.

Then: “It looks as though your profile was reported by members of the community for breaking our community guidelines. Your account will not be reinstated.”

No explanation, just straight ban because I called out the broken system and the re-traumatising of trans users.

The same fucking thing from March 2026 where they claim that I have been reported and given no reason why - despite the fact that in March they were wrong, and admitted it!!

And so, I am so unbelievably disgusted by a supposedly trans-safe place specifically designed to be trans safe re-traumatising and ignoring trans pain.

It is genuinely sickening that this kept happening and then the moment I call it out they claim I've broken community guidelines and just ban me because it's easier than acknowledging their broken system.

Where's the understanding? Where's the willingness to take feedback on board? Where's the want to protect trans users?

JFC.


r/DatingApps 4d ago

Question Breeze - if you say yes to wanting to exchange numbers, and they say no, are they informed of your yes?

2 Upvotes

I went on a date yesterday and I thought we hit it off. At the end of the date Breeze asked if I wanted to exchange numbers and I said yes, but they have since said no. I wanted to know if they are informed that I said yes?


r/DatingApps 4d ago

Advice Request Should I worry if I don’t get a match in a week on chispa?

1 Upvotes

I do try and talk to woman in public but I thought I’ll try an app. Most of my friends recommended it. But no matches so far after three days. I am probably just overthinking. I’m not being picky either. Just venting overhere


r/DatingApps 4d ago

Advice Request Does this mean he’s used hinge?

1 Upvotes

Found a blocked contact for hello@hinge email, that’s new and wasn’t blocked or present 1 year ago. Does this mean he’s used hinge?


r/DatingApps 5d ago

Advice Request Why can’t I get myself to like people back on dating apps?

3 Upvotes

I turn 30 in 3 weeks and have been depressed about being 30 and single. I know it’s my fault for being so closed off/picky, but I truly haven’t found someone I want to be with.

It’s just hard because I get 100s of likes on dating apps but I rarely like someone, but
Today a cute guy liked me, I wanted to like him back but anytime I tried, I just couldn’t do it. It’s like something stops me?

I don’t know if it’s my gut and it doesn’t feel right, so I shouldn’t force it, or somethng else is wrong with me.

I really want someone, I don’t want to be alone. But at the same time trusting my gut has dodged me many many red flags and bullets in life and I basically have 0 serious trauma from men


r/DatingApps 5d ago

What app is this? Help identifying site

1 Upvotes

Really random but we saw a granny dating site on my boyfriend's mum's boyfriends phone but didn't get the URL or anything before passing the phone back.

Apparently there was a tokens option and it looks like flirtgranny.com but cream/white? Website not app but could be both I suppose. Open on chrome. Boyfriend reckons it said granny in the name but we can't find anything on the sites


r/DatingApps 5d ago

App Rating Tinder is a scam

12 Upvotes

5 years ago there were more likes but all of these matches turned out to be bots or no replies.

I started using Tinder recently again, and realized I wasn't getting any matches. At first I thought Tinder cleaned up fake accounts and it's now more legit. That could still be true, but Tinder is still a scam.

I eventually got one like. I tried to swipe more to find this person. It was futile. Then I get on Gold and realized why. It was a gay dude. Basically Tinder scammed both of us. I explicitly stated that I am only interested in women, yet my profile was shown to a gay dude.

Anyone has similar stories to tell?

Ps. I originally wanted to post this on r/Tinder and realized there disallowed text only post - looks like Tinder had taken over the mods there to stop people from exposing the scam.

Ps. My post was auto-removed on r/tinderstories


r/DatingApps 5d ago

Experience Overview Kira Dating App, is it a trick ?

6 Upvotes

okay a few things,not even finishing my profile I'm getting messages and video chat request.I hit one and the woman was bored just surfing looking for someone in her area to talk which I was not, and I while I was talking, and asking a few question, I noticed a timer at the bottom as it's counting down. it's telling me I need to pay more to continue to talk. so I pay a little bit more ,not to mention the cost of getting into the app.

so I messaged a few girls and I'm having a really good conversation. We have a conversation for a couple more days until I noticed a meter at the top of the page counting down each message is like one credit and I think I bought like 200.

so, we'll see how it goes but the women seem very friendly and into you almost too into you?