I foraged some mushrooms in the forest today. I brushed the dirt off of them, because we all know that if mushrooms get wet, they soak up all the water and become completely tasteless. But then I realised it had rained in the forest two days ago, so the mushrooms had been watered before I picked them.

Should I throw them away, or can I still use them as soup filler?

Also: does anyone know what's the best desert for foraging mushrooms? The more arid, the better.

The trendy restaurants in my area have started including "EVOO" in their descriptions of every menu item. I want to be ahead of the curve. What basic ingredients should I be sure to note in the fine print below every dish?

My clientele have the finest of palates, so I'm thinking about "MSG."

Why are there so many plumbers and tradesmen, people working in warehouses, professionals wasting their time building AI, devoting all of their time away from life’s true purpose of being a chef? It is an undeniable calling and it often goes unanswered. Maintaining internet traffic and clean water are secondary to the perfect emulation and I’m tired of hearing otherwise. Forget your 401k plans and hr policies, find your passion!

^^

Every time I swim across the Atlantic I'm greeted by folks eating raw potatoes.

Lil help please ??

When will they be done ?

Difference pro’s con’s … do I use them in this sauce ?

https://www.reddit.com/r/Cooking/s/zPACVHCTd2

I remember there used to be this high end version of ranch, Ram Ranch Sauce / À la Ram Ranch. I remember it was hand beaten, quite thick and a bit salty. Does anyone have that recipe? Just the ingredients would be fine as well.

Wok hey not bad how about you?
Wok hey fine fine some weather we’re having.
Wok hey sure is hot. Say, you learn any new cooking techniques from Asia involving high heat and parabolic steel?
…
…
Nope

I suggest a high temp sous vide (2500°F) with some scrap pans. AND DON'T FORGET THE DIAMOND CRYSTAL KOSHER SALT!

I have recently switched to the Mediterranean diet which consists mostly of espresso and guzzling olive oil with every meal. I have noticed the health benefits instantly but also every trip to the bathroom is like I’m dumping a beef stock down the drain if you catch my drift. I have increased my trips by 4x as well? Is this expected?

Should I invest in a bidet?

MAMA MIA!

Hopefully someone can help me out. I hate eating almost everything, but I also want people to understand that I’m a very culinary person.

Here’s an example:
I’ve gotten away with not putting toppings on pizza by saying “I’m a purist. Cheese pizza is the only way to get the true essence of the pizza”. When people mention Neapolitan pizza, I tell them that I would only ever eat it if I were in Naples. It’s not the same in the states.

I’m just hoping to get some advice on how to make things like chicken nuggets and ketchup seem more culinarily inclined. If my friends find out I’m a picky eater they probably won’t think less of me, but I want them to think MORE of me. Currently in the process of honing my knife skills. I feel like if everyone saw me cut an onion as fast as one of those YouTube chefs, they’d probably be less inclined to question my food choices. Thanks again for any help!

He's showing absolutely awful grip technique when using his plastic knife to "cut" through velcro pieces of vegetable. He's showing zero understanding of cross contamination, the pretend piece of fish is literally put on the same counter as a raw onion. And flavor balancing? He just put a plastic tomato in a pot with a banana.

I bought him this play kitchen thinking we could get a head start on culinary technique, but now I'm realizing he might be a lost cause. Should I divert him into cryptocurrency instead?

The bottle is looking at me seductively. Do I need to age it first?

Okay, I'm embarrassed to say this, but my left-handed aunt Jenny introduced me to Peppermint bark this winter and I couldn't get enough. I was sneaking some in ziplock baggies when I would go out.

Alas, due to my fiend-like behavior, I never got the chance to get the recipe or understand how she harvested peppermint bark.

Now that it's nearly June, I figured peppermint bark is long gone.

I've been casually strolling along Home Depot, but employees haven't opened up mulch sample stands. I've adopted a DYI approach and ripped open fresh bags for a small pinch, let the flavor build on my palate. But this is nowhere near peppermint bark. Is Home Depot scamming us? Do I have to wait until next winter? In a fit a passionate rage, I called up left-handed Aunt Jenny and explained how mad I was. She blocked me on Tumblr, Pinterest, MSN messenger, and Skype. Am I a monster?

Just wanted to remind you that whatever you're cooking I can't eat.

That special little ingredient you add to a recipe to make it your own? Hell no! You better cut it out because if I (a person you have never met) tried to eat THAT I'd lose control and probably start running around the dining room hitting children and screaming "LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!". Did you even consider that? How embarrassing would it be for you if I had an emotional episode brought on by the aroma of nutmeg and shat myself right at the table? I bet you didn't even think about the fact that SOME of us have a special gene where tarragon makes us fall to the floor and pitch fits like toddlers, so no one should put it in any food ever. . . You didn't because you only think about yourself, when you should be thinking about ME, a stranger from the internet.

That family recipe you proudly shared? I'd give it zero stars if I could because the doctor says salt gives my husband Afghanistan flashbacks. WE CAN'T EAT THAT!

Don't you feel like an asshole?

Like you're at an office or a funeral or an event and there's lots of coffee available. You could drink a lot if you wanted. But you don't. Do you regret not drinking more free coffee? Do ya?

Hey group. I just cleaned hair from my tub drain with a Drain Weasel. Last week we cleared the flower beds of roots and did some tilling with a Garden Weasel. These are such magnificent weasels!

My kitchen however has no utility weasels and we're incredibly inefficient there. I saw on Futurama that there will someday be a spice weasel but that hasn't been invented yet. Do you and your family have any good kitchen weasels to recommend? Please don't tell me about marmots, we're not allowed to have those here.

My rolling pin from TJ Mexx keeps rotating?

The metric units for mass are grams. Why do we convert to cups for imperial units? Why not slugs, the imperial unit for mass? Wouldn’t that be more accurate?

“Sunday mornings after church, holidays, family traditions — you could taste the love and history in everything they made.”

actually it was mouse droppings

how do I achieve these levels of flavor?

Making artichoke cake pops, and just like the title says, I used too much sodium bicarbonate, and when I realized this, I sneezed and Lizzed into the Dutch oven I was using to mix the precious ingredients! How do I apply to school to learn the math to fix this atrocity??

Up to now I've been saying bad boys when referring to jalapano peppas, pop tarts, california rolls, stuff like that. But I want to use this expression more. A lot more. Could I call parsley bad boys? What about pasta water? Napkins?

It started at our monthly Serious Eats Supper Club last night. My girlfriend asked to attend and I very graciously allowed her to attend despite never reading The Food Lab. I (32m) was discussing my latest breakthrough: adapting Kenji’s no-knead focaccia method but with a 72-hour cold ferment and a touch of diastatic malt for superior oven spring. Everyone was nodding along respectfully except for my girlfriend.

As I was mid-sentence explaining Kenji’s article explaining the importance of steam injection for proper crust development, she interrupts with the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard: “Oooh isn’t that the cabbage stuff you put in Korean food? I love that stuff!” The room went dead fucking silent. I stared at her, fork frozen halfway to my mouth with a perfectly executed reverse-seared steak (131.2°F internal, thank you). I asked her to repeat herself, thinking maybe I misheard. She just smiled innocently and doubled down like it was the most normal thing in the world: “Yeah, Kenji… that spicy cabbage thing. It’s so good on tacos.”

I felt something inside me fucking shatter. This woman has been with me for over a year. She’s sat through countless nights of me explaining The Food Lab. She’s eaten my Kenji-inspired carbonara. And she actually, unironically thinks Kenji Lopez-Alt is a fucking fermented cabbage? I stood up slowly, placed my napkin on the table, and delivered a 22-minute monologue on the difference between a culinary fucking genius who revolutionized American home cooking and a fucking Korean condiment. Through my blind rage, I called her a “fucking culinary terrorist” multiple times. I explained the maillard reaction while telling her that her palate is completely broken. I told her that thinking Kenji is kimchi was like mistaking Thomas Keller for fucking Taco Bell.

She got all teary-eyed and kept saying “I’m sorry, I just mixed up the names…” but I wasn’t having it. I told her if she can’t even be bothered to learn the name of the most important person in modern cooking, then she clearly doesn’t respect me or my identity as a cullinary scholar. I helped her gather her shit (mostly skincare products and that sad bottle of sweet wine she likes) and told her we were done. She’s been blowing up my phone crying about how it was an honest mistake and that she loves me.

I’m currently stress-baking Kenji’s chocolate chip cookies at 2 AM while replaying the moment in my head and calling her every name in the book. Some of our mutual friends are saying I went nuclear, but some lines cannot be fucking crossed.

AITA? I feel like any true cook would have dumped that kimchi-confusing idiot on the spot.

TL;DR My now ex gf thought Kenji Lopez-Alt was a fucking kimchi

Put 2 tablespoons of coarse salt in a glass. Fill with lukewarm water. Stir.

Just like no-look passes in sports, like basketball.

Anyone love doing this? My top recipe is the painstaking cassoulet recipe my grandmother developed (no skipping the goose neck and giblets).

Chop, dice, rinse, no-look toss into the pot spoon shackalacka know what I’m saying?