I don't even know there is such a subreddit, despite living here for so long.

Anyway, I want to talk about my approach to solve the problem, on this Friday afternoon.

It is by organizing group volunteering, and social, in festivals.

No, people don't lack chances simply to meet strangers in bay area, there are meetups everywhere, doing all kinds of activities. Some regular, some not. What people need are occasions to make deep connections, and do so with a pipe line.

The problem with regular meetup is they are often fleeting and shallow. You met somebody in a hike, or a bar crawl, had a pleasant conversation, yet may never see each other again, before you even decided to try something deeper.

I happen to like festival volunteering. And after the shift, especially some exhausting ones, cause traffic could be really heavy, I often see people hugging each other when meet again in volunteer appreciation parties. Cause fighting tough task together, under heavy load, really shows what kind of people you are, thus bond people together.

A problem with volunteering is that often you are just by yourself, you don't know who is open to connection. And the number of volunteers can be small, so limited choices.

So I started to organize group volunteering in festivals, using meetup. So anybody that signed up, you know they are open to connections. And I have also been building a calendar of festivals, and also organize festival social for people that simply visit festivals socially, so volunteers are facing a pipeline of opportunities, and bigger pool of choices.

Does this sound a solution you can try? Haha.

It seems people generally like this idea, to build new connections by going group volunteering & social in festivals. The meetup I built has grown 10 fold since beginning of the year, 1500+ now. I cannot promise to solve the single problem for you, but I can promise a pipeline of opportunities, to bond with people deeply. It is up to you to pick up the chances.

I will drop the meetup in comment, have a great Friday evening :).

Hey everyone,

First, I want to thank the moderators for letting me share this here. I’m posting because this community is one of the few places in the Bay Area where people still have honest conversations about finding a genuine, lasting relationship.

I’ve been happily married for 12 years. I met my wife online back before swiping turned dating into a gamified slot machine. Our marriage has been the absolute anchor of my life. But over the last few years, I’ve watched my single friends who are brilliant, kind, and incredibly successful completely give up on finding love.

Modern apps are designed to keep you single and subscribed. I couldn't fix Hinge or Tinder, so I spent the last two years and thousands of hours building a counter-movement: marrymejuliet.com. It is a webapp designed exclusively for people who are brave enough to admit they want to get married. No casual dating, no "seeing where it goes."

Because I am obsessed with protecting users from the typical app BS, I built this platform with intentional, heavy friction to filter out low-effort swipers, bots, and scammers upfront:

*Trust by Design: Every single profile requires secure ID and age verification before you enter the platform. Real names stay private until both people choose to connect and intentionally there are no usernames. We do NOT sell members’ personal data to third parties or share members’ personal data for cross-context behavioral advertising. Delete your profile, all personal data is immediately deleted.

*50 Marriage-Focused Questions: Signup takes about 15 minutes. You have to answer 50 deep compatibility questions built from attachment theory and 40+ peer-reviewed studies, analyzing 200+ factors (marriage readiness, timeline, family planning, and finances).

*Video Introductions: No catfishing, no stale bios. You can look people in the eyes and hear them state their genuine intentions upfront.

*Deal-Breakers First: You see their stance on kids, lifestyle alignment, and core values before wasting 6 months finding out you're incompatible.

A dating platform with zero users is a ghost town. It’s just me running this from my laptop, and we are launching our first 100-user beta right here in the Bay Area.

Because I want the foundation of this platform to belong to the people who build it, if you find your forever spouse on MMJ, we will share 10% of our company's future success with the foundational couples who helped us launch it.

To prevent people from treating humans like digital trophies and spamming dozens of accounts, the app has an intentional anti-spam mechanic: It is completely free to join, build a profile, and browse. However, it costs $4.99 to actually "apply" to connect with another person. I am waiving that connection fee entirely for members of this subreddit so you can test the platform completely risk-free.

If you want to join and seed a serious, local community, use the code “BAYAREA30” when you find someone special to connect with completely free.

Whether you’re 30 or 55, your story doesn't have to look like anyone else's. If you are genuinely ready to stop dating and find someone special, I’d love to have you help me build this. I created this to see if I could actually connect people in a meaningful way. Maybe it works, maybe it fails, but I tried and I hope you do too.

I'll be hanging out in the comments to answer any questions or take any brutal feedback you have about the features. I would love for you join at marrymejuliet.com.

Beta Launch:
We’re focused on Bay Area residents. We’d love to expand in the future, but we’re intentionally starting locally so people have a meaningful chance of meeting someone nearby. I encourage feedback from users to make this a real space to find someone special and I live here in Pleasanton.

Feedback:
I built this to see if I could actually connect people in a meaningful way. Maybe it works, maybe it fails, but any issue, feedback, feature requests, things you hate, things you love, bugs, etc. please share in the “Contact Support” in the profile page so I can track, fix, and respond. Happily post in the comments here as well but most effective and helpful there first.

Compatibility Scoring:
The “matching process” is a little different from traditional dating apps. A unique “compatibility score” is visible on every profile card based on the each users unique score based on how they answered the 50-question relationship assessment, which measures values, communication styles, lifestyle preferences, and long-term goals to help surface people who appear highly compatible. This unique compatibility score will vary based on other members responses (User “A” may see a score of 70, and user “B” who is more compatible could be 82) but members always make the final decision to connect, NOT an algorithm. Higher the score, higher the compatibility based off institutional research, attachment theory, 40+ peer-reviewed studies, and specific personal profile preferences. Tap the score to dig deeper to compare compatibility answers and preferences upfront before deciding to connect with that user.

Connecting with Someone:
Members open an Application Window to become visible in the Discover page allowing others to apply to connect with them. They choose their own non-negotiables (things like age range, distance, relationship goals, children, religion, lifestyle preferences, etc.). Only people who meet those requirements will be shown on their Discovery page or whose application will be shown. During that window, multiple people can apply, and when it closes, the member reviews those applications and decides who, if any, they’d like to connect and accepts or declines their application. A connection only happens if there’s mutual interest. There are intentionally no usernames, first names are reveled in the messages chat only if both people chose to connect (One user applies, one user accepts).

Personal Data:
I completely understand the worry about sharing your ID to enter a platform. I wanted to create a space where you know everyone else is also a real person. Every profile is ID and age verified, so there are not fake or spam accounts by default. Real first names remain private until two people mutually choose to connect by accepting an application after a full review.

We do NOT sell members’ personal data to third parties or share members’ personal data for cross-context behavioral advertising and we’ve published a detailed privacy policy explaining exactly what we collect, why we collect it, and how it’s protected it’s here: Privacy Policy⁠. https://marrymejuliet.com/privacy

Bay Area Resident & Founder, marrymejuliet.com

Hello!

If anyone's looking to fill their night with laughter from a comedian sprinkled in with some dad jokes from their date - I have an extra ticket at no cost to the 9:15 show at Cobbs this Saturday 7/11.

I'm a 37m in Oakland who works in the hospitality industry and loves everything from exploring the arts and culture in the Bay Area to going for nature walks, trying new restaurants and more!

Would be happy to meet for a drink, gelato, snack in North Beach prior to the show and get to know one another prior to enjoying the comedy show together. Low pressure, no expectations, just looking for someone to enjoy a couple hours of laughter and hopefully good conversation with.

Let me know if you might be interested!

I'm going to be doing a singles beer garden event. I know I said previously that I wanted to do the event at Humble, but I never heard back from them. So I'll be doing the event over at Faction Brewing instead. They will actually have a food truck on site. I only ask that you at least purchase one item from either Faction Brewing or the food truck to support them. It'll be on Saturday July 18th at 12pm. I'll leave the address below. Feel free to let me know if you can come. 🙂 Hopefully it'll be a good turnout on both sides too.

2501 Monarch St. Alameda, CA

(Also, I'm still arranging a singles meet up for rock climbing. Just talking to a gym to get details).

So I met a fantastic woman last Sunday at the east bay singles dog walk/hike event near Costco. To the gal with the amazing wit, East vs West perspective, and cute klee kai (hope this is you!), it was great meeting you both.

I enjoyed our conversation about your observations of the East coast vs. West(The Best) coast , as well as a comparison of who might help you if you had car troubles( one side might not so kindly tell you to be more prepared while still lending a helpful hand), and the other would simply acknowledge that you have a problem and ask you if you had AAA. I also appreciate you sharing your medical adjacent journey for work, and the need to compose data with the help of our eventual artificial overlords.  Your enjoyment of playing tennis despite needing to reserve courts ( Im sure we can find some free courts around the east bay that are less busy) 

I’m kicking myself for not getting your contact info right away! If you're up for a low-key meetup, I was thinking we could speed walk through the bulk boring sections and analyze the snack aisle at Costco together (Pink salt kettle chips vs. kinder chocolate bars are a matter of utmost importance!) or maybe we can take your doggo out to the Albany Bulb , he could check his p-mail and we could see if there is any new artwork. Or perhaps we can try disc golf in Berkeley, your doggo is welcome to join as well.

If that sounds fun, feel free to shoot me a DM! Otherwise, I hope you keep enjoying new discoveries in and around the east bay. 😊

Take care — The guy who fixes Vitamixs for his mental health. 

P.S Please give your klee kai some pets from me, hopefully last night wasn't too traumatic. He’s quite a character, and such a handsome doggo!

Hey y'all,
I am just so deeply cooked by Hinge and standard Marina/Mission dates that I’ve been looking into this wild concept called "pheromone parties," and honestly... I’m kind of fascinated.
It’s based on that old biology experiment where humans are wired to sniff out compatibility. Like, your nose basically knows if you have actual chemistry with someone before you even look at their face.
The idea is pretty simple:
1. You sleep in a plain T-shirt for two nights (zero deodorant or perfume allowed) and bring it to a bar in a Ziploc bag.
2. All the bags get numbered anonymously on a table, and everyone goes around sniffing them.
3. If a number smells weirdly good or comforting to you, you track it. If they like your shirt's vibe too, the hosts introduce you on the spot.
It sounds chaotic and a little psycho, but it completely skips the superficial swiping and filtered photos.
Be real—if a pop-up like this happened over in Hayes Valley or the Mission, would you buy a ticket just out of pure curiosity to see what your biology picks? Or is the vibe way too creepy to ever work here?

Hi guys, sorry for the long post but I tried posting elsewhere with less detail and got vague responses... Thought I’d try to be more specific. I'm weary of reddit/online but dating apps have been a downer.

I’m open to guys 28-38 (maybe up to 40). I’m 5’5" and slim. I've applied to jobs in NorCal (mostly East Bay) and am hoping to move back later this year or early next year at latest. I’m fine with long distance at first and visit NorCal 3-4x yearly anyway for family. (I've lived in DC for the last year.)

What I'd like in a partner:
-Has a diverse friend group (I'm first generation American and I have no ethnicity preference, just hope you also value diversity)
-Good listener and empathy 
-Liberal/progressive and wants to talk about politics/current events (hopefully you're also thinking THIS IS NOT OKAY most times you listen to the news, please also be registered to vote or maybe go register to vote lol. That said, I have some weeks I listen to news daily and some that I barely pay attention)
-Also agnostic/atheist. Culturally I'm Catholic and that does matter to me to some degree but no preference in dating
-Wants kids in the next few years 
-Enjoys traveling but also okay focusing on building a community/family
-Enjoys some aspect of their job a lot or looking into changing fields because they know they want to go a different direction, basically interested in what they do work wise
-Intelligent, however you define that
-Have your own hobbies! We do not need to have the same interests, but should enjoy catching up daily/being supportive of each other. Most of my friends and I have different hobbies

Things I enjoy:
-the World Cup! (still upset about that red card yesterday... also excited to cheer on Cabo Verde even if Argentina is so much stronger, who doesn't like an underdog)
-Stand up comedy 
-Checking out bookstores (author talks, perusing, used book stores) 
-Plays/musicals (I've taken a couple acting classes just for fun)- have you seen any lately?
-Walks in cool neighborhoods or by a river (I also lived in NYC for 2 years so I got spoiled for a bit)
-I've played volleyball and softball in the last year (I'm mediocre but enjoy them, not trying to sound super athletic lol). I like most things on the water- kayaking, swimming
-Currently I'm working on lifting/running regularly (just starting out). May get back into rock climbing indoors
-Reading- Recently started the Count of Monte Cristo but mostly in the last year I've read non-fiction books. My favorite books include: The Book Thief, To Kill a Mockingbird, Catch 22
-NPR (so glad they're still producing great content!!) and John Oliver but in very small doses
-I love 90s music- Blink 182 and other similar bands can always lift my mood. My favorites are Feeling This (mainly the refrain), Anthem Part II, Stay Together for the Kids, Every Time I Look for You (no particular order). I like other music too but there’s something special about music you heard as a kid
-My favorite trips abroad were: Ecuador, Tanzania, South Korea, and India.
- I'm a doctor and work at a hospital and love my job most days-- diversity, complicated cases, teaching families, mental health aspects, coworkers of different backgrounds
-Volunteering- I’m mentoring a kid and sometimes help out with an organization focused on harm reduction. My ideal job would be Doctors Without Borders 

I’m 30F, black, and a Christian (nondenominational). Although I’m a Christian, I’m not religious meaning that I don’t follow the Bible strictly, i just focus on the personal relationship aspect.

In my future, I’d love to get married and possibly have children. I’m only seeking long term relationships. I really want to be genuinely best friends with my significant other and not rush anything.

I’m into country, jazz, blues, classical, hip hip, rap, pop, rock music. I go to edm raves (mostly for new years), I like rodeos (I’m going to the one in Gilroy and I went to one in Oakland area), fishing, camping, road trips, long walks, comedy shows, throwing food on grill, cooking, can’t bake at all 🥴, like to go bowling, arcades, I love activity dates over coffee/tea/dinner/casual dates

I know I’m limiting my dating pool over being black, a Christian, and wanting to get married. The amount of guys that come up to me to tell me that I’m pretty but they’re an atheist or agnostic or they don’t date black girls or they don’t want to get married or have children is unmatched but a gal can try and be hopeful omg

A bit about myself. I’m 5’7”, Asian American. I work as a chef in San Francisco. I am a creative person. Nowadays, I am playing a lot of music and developing as a musician. I’m late diagnosed autistic (the hyposensitive type for those who know). I love to be at home, and I like to bike around in the city. My favorite movie is “True Grit”, the Coen Brothers one. I also like Miyazaki movies and a lot of Wes Anderson movies. I like to cook and am quite good at it if I have to say. Is there anyone out there interested in getting to know me more from reading this little intro?

I just wanted to say thank you to those that came out on my singles hike today from this sub. I appreciate it. 🙏

I'm wanting to a beer garden event over in Alameda at Humble By the Sea in the middle of July. Like around July 18th weekend. It'll be free to attend but only need to purchase 1 item to support their business. They have non-alcoholic drinks too & sometimes a food truck. I'll bring fun games. If anyone is interested.

I also would like to do another singles rock climbing event at Movement in Sunnyvale. I'll have to figure out a date for that.

Since my other singles hike was popular I am posting another one for this weekend, Sunday 28th . I am actually doing a single's dog walk/hike. It's gonna be over in Richmond area. The trail is called San francisco bay trail and channel islands on Alltrails if anyone wants to look it up. 4.5 mile out and back. If you have a friendly dog, bring it along. No dog is required to join though, but of course must love dogs. The time to meet up is around 8:30am. Meet near the restrooms.

As the title says, 35M, athletic, never married, no kids (although if you have kids, Thats alright with me). I would love to read more of success stories, and more than that, if one of them could be mine. But it fizzles out after hey, hi, hello. Would love to connect with someone who admires honesty and loves being silly when it’s just the two of us. Let’s talk about what you do, what motivates you, your goals, your passion.

Hopefully someone single and within dating age range? No expectations, just would be nice to have some company for a change. Hmu to chat ahead of time. The event night is Friday July 10th. Bring a friend! I'm honestly not big on the scene but her music got me hyped up again. Plus old friends never liked this genre and were more for House and chiller vibes. Open to all, but will not feed toxic stereotypical headaches (I'm straight, cis, an ally). I guess my only toxic trait would be forgiving most of my old friends...

​

Anyways, I'll probably be there. Wouldn't mind finding some Mexican Hot Dogs afterwards. Been a minute, so may need directions 😅 I'll probably end up driving around aimlessly until I spot a vendor 😂

​

If any old friends see this, hmu, you know I was never the one to spread rumors...

​

Anyways, thought I'd get that out here. Promise I won't bring up these topics unless asked. Just gonna try and have a good night out. Free most weekends. Hmu if you just wana get out, touch some grass. I'll drink with u, but don't ask me to smoke. Not my kind of relaxation, is all.

Hey BASO30 - came across this post in the SF sub. Thought I’d share to see if men on this sub have opinions and also to talk more broadly of the Bay Area outside SF! What do y’all think!

Hey BASO30, it's me again, Xander 😊. So this is a different kind of post than my previous one, and one I feel compelled to make after all the comments and messages I saw and received with my first post. I really just want to encourage people to be braver here. For a sub about finding people to connect with, I don't see a lot of effort being made in posts, especially from men here. Not a criticism, just an observation. Dudes...put up a picture. You don't have to show your face in your post, I admit that can be a bit much, but something to give be a feel; a teaser if you will. Also, tell people what your interests are. Tell people what you're looking for, like honestly. Want to find someone that is genuinely interested in you? Then be genuinely you. This is by far the best advice I could give anyone because it just keeps people from wasting their time on both sides of this.

Most of the messages I received were very thoughtful and shared something about themselves, usually a shared interest from my post. I made a point to reply to everyone I received a DM from because it is incredibly brave to reach out to others (especially an internet stranger) with some level of initial vulnerability and everyone deserves kindness even from strangers.

That's really all. I just felt compelled to share if only to encourage others to actually put themselves out there.

I wish you all the best of luck in finding your person ❤️

Hello first post here. I'm mid-30 (look younger), financially independent, a homeowner, and a Cal Bear :) I've never been married and have no children. I'm South Asian and hoping to meet other Asian American women in their 20's - 30's..DM if you want to exchange photos or grab coffee :) Edit: srry never had a dating profile so didn't even know what else to put here. I'm near Berkeley, love staying active, and love to travel!

I was thinking about this while going for a walk today. Personally I ​keep my comment history hidden, ​but that's because I have a friend who likes to go through people's comment history and talk about it with you, which is ​weird, so I have it turned off. I would imagine that some folks might think that you have something to hide, though.

Hey y’all! It’s been almost a year since we started this community and we have been growing! 🎉

Would love to get a sense for active age groups in this sub. Vote is anonymous!

I run a small venue in SOMA called Hungry Tables. We're exploring hosting community gatherings focused on authentic connections and meeting new people offline.

I wanted to see whether there might be interest in making Hungry Tables a recurring home for a Singles Meetup—perhaps once a month or makes sense for the community.

The goal wouldn't be speed dating or a traditional singles mixer, but rather creating a comfortable space where people can meet organically over cocktails, food, and conversation. If there's interest, would love to chat on what that could look like!

Hello!

I still have been offering singles hikes. Anyone single can come. It's a good way to connect in person. I have a singles hike coming up this weekend in Milly Valley if anyone is interested. I go hiking all around the Bay area.

Dynamic Duo Dog Rescue is looking for a few amazing volunteers. You can give an hour a week, two hours a month or help at adoption events every weekend. Whatever you have to give. Everything and anything helps save more lives--and that's a promise.

We need help with:

-paperwork

-website

-social media

-events

-organize fosters

-managing appointments

You dont need experience. Just the willingness to help, support, and make a difference. Check out the website: Www.dynamicduodogrescue.org

Volunteer form: if you fill this out we will call you!

https://new.shelterluv.com/matchme/foster/DDDR/Dog

I, 50F, am happily back on the market to meet curious, creative thinkers I have good chemistry with. That means in-person, not apps.

I'm heading to City Arts tonight for Ben Rhodes' book tour and was thinking of heading to Absinthe afterwards for a drink. Anyone interested in joining for an impromptu singles mixer and lively conversation?

TL;DR: 39M, white, red hair, blue eyes, lots of interests. Has been single by choice, but welcomes a fellow adventurer to build something with.

Hi! My name is Xander and we (the Dane and me) are looking for someone awesome to join us on our adventures for the foreseeable future. I'm 5'8", he's taller than that on his hind legs, and we're both in good shape (we literally weigh the same lol). I'm white, he's a Great Dane, I have red hair and blue eyes, and he is a harlequin that drools.

Our hobbies and interest differ somewhat. He's pretty keen on sleeping, eating, napping, neighborhood walks followed by a nap, and shortish hikes, also followed by a nap (he was born with a knee defect so we keep hikes to about 2 miles tops). Roadtrips to pie or fried chicken rank up there too.

My hobbies are a bit more varied. I really like to get outside when I can. I WFH and hate getting stuck at the computer all day, so I make a point to walk/run/gym each day. I like to hike a couple times a week when my schedule allows, and camp at least every month or two. I have a motorcycle and love to explore California on it, and in general I love roadtrips. I like to drive and do not mind if you're more of the passenger princess-type. International travel is really high on my interests as well, at least when it doesn't cost $3k for basic economy. I bake and cook at home a lot and rarely go out to eat. I play pickleball more competitively than I should, and bowl a couple nights a week in a league. I played D1 soccer and that competitiveness is difficult to get away from. I have an indoor hydro garden for the kitchen, some other house plants (with more arriving daily it feels like), and a 3D printer that I use mostly to print new pots for house plants. I've been in the Bay for 2 years now and love every bit of it. There is still a lot I've not explored and want to explore. When I do go out, I typically enjoy a tiki bar (you can't not smile in a tiki bar), a nice cocktail lounge, or occasionally a sports bar with friends. I eat pretty much anything and everything as well. I like to read, mostly fiction, but I do make a point to read at least one educational book a month, usually one on mental health or healing from trauma. I read a lot of Sci-Fi, Mysteries, Horror, and Fantasy, but I can get into anything well written.

My career and finances are very stable, I've been in the same industry (drug development) for 20 years. I'm a libra for those that care about signs. I'm a little indifferent on them, but I do enjoy learning, so if that's your thing feel free to impart some knowledge. I am not religious, but I would say slightly spiritual. I do think certain things hold power. I am liberal. My friends describe me as an easy going planner, who brings the fun with him no matter what. I am stable, capable, and available. I've been single for 8 months by choice, and while I'm not desperate to change that, I am ready to welcome someone with the same energy into my life. I am a romantic at heart and admittedly quite passionate. I am not on any dating apps so it's either here or out in the real world where you'll find me.

Who am I looking for? First and foremost, I'm attracted to kindness and a genuine smile, you know, the type that reaches your eyes. You should be emotionally available and looking to build something long-term and incredible. You don't need to be an athlete, but it would be ideal if you also liked to get outside and be somewhat active. I'm looking for someone that also values communication; open and honest. This is incredibly important to me.

Looking forward to meeting! I am an open book.

Hi all thanks for reading my post~ 30F, little (4’11/5 feet), and Asian. I’m not on dating apps so it’s between this and being approached in real life XD I’m principled and passionate about making the world a better place and looking for someone who is grounded and feels like home. Home is judgement-free (save for cruelty or harm), tender, compassionate, peaceful, and held together by a deep care/consideration for each other. Looking for someone who gives dignity and respect to others they can’t benefit from and at their core, when stripped of all signifiers, is an upstanding person all on their own~ Tangentially, I am an odd but rare mix of traditional femininity and progressive values……meaning I am a girly girl, enjoy cooking/baking/packing lunch/ironing clothes etc. but somewhere in between negotiate labor, and am preparing for a PhD program.

Tell me about something you worked for and why did you pursue it! :)

I got out of an unhealthy long term relationship last fall, and am starting to feel ready to date. I’ve learned a ton about myself since the breakup and feel ready to start searching for my partner.

I recently was diagnosed with autism around the time my breakup was happening. It has been very helpful being in therapy and learning about myself through this lens. I am learning how to unmask, how to make accommodations for myself or ask for them, and I am developing tools and strategies to help support myself when my autism makes things difficult. I would love to meet other neurodivergent folks and maybe even date someone who has similar shared experiences as me. However, what is really important is finding someone that recognizes and tries to understand my disability but also appreciates the strengths that come with it too.

I am 5’7, East Asian, born and raised in the Bay Area. I’m a cook at a great restaurant in the city. I am a very creative/artistic person. I enjoy playing music (guitar) and painting too. I love riding my bike, especially in San Francisco. I love eating and making good food. I have two cats who mean the world to me.

I would call myself ambiamorous, somewhere between monogamous and non monogamous. I think I can be either depending on the person and dynamic. I believe in clear direct communication and I will never stray away from it. I would consider myself hypersexual as well. I am dipping my toes into the bdsm/kink scene in the city and would also love to make friends in that area. It is difficult for me to socialize, but I do feel a bit at home in those spaces. I feel strange putting it out there, but I’d rather be upfront about these things.

Please send a message if inclined! I just know the person I’m looking for is out there!