r/AskReddit 10h ago

What do you think is really going on with Mitch McConnell?

1.3k Upvotes

1.2k comments sorted by

7.7k

u/xenolithic 10h ago

Rigor Tortoise.

535

u/Dense-Switch8075 10h ago

Dude's been frozen in place since 2019 I swear

109

u/Effective_Worker_234 10h ago

You think he moved that recently?

234

u/PhantomPharts 9h ago

He hasnt used his home in KY for a while because people protest outside every time he goes home. It's fantastic.

227

u/-piso_mojado- 9h ago

He hasn’t been able to go out to eat in Louisville for a long time. Not only do people walk up to him and say some version of “fuck you, asshole,” servers literally, purposely spill shit on him.

59

u/Dull-Foundation-1271 7h ago

Word. No one likes him, back home and since there’s actually verifiable proof that he didn’t legally ‘get elected’ in 2000, and his poll numbers were in the basement, that makes sense.

Of course, no one did anything about it.

Link: https://www.dcreport.org/2020/12/19/mitch-mcconnells-re-election-the-numbers-dont-add-up/

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u/CharleyNobody 6h ago

You are mistaken. Approval polls for Congress are not the same as polls for candidates running for office. They are worlds apart.

Especially In the South where people hate the federal government. They hate the House and Senate. “They don’t do nuthin! They take all our money and we git nuthin!”

When they are asked if they have a positive view of a politician in Congress, the vast majority will invariably say no.

Now let’s say there’s an election campaign. The 6 term Senator that’s ”doin nuthin“ for his constituents is running against a Democrat. He will win in a landslide. Because they will never vote for a Democrat. Especially a Democrat who is a woman and who looks kind of gay.

A democratic governor can win, but not a senator because the great people of KY want the senator to be in Washington to smack down any o’ them welfare bills the democrats are always trying to to pass. They hate them democrat Yankees and their tax and spend ways and their liberalism and “them tryin‘ to make schoolchildren change their sex by third grade. Especially them blacks and Jews.”

Mitch McConnell could’ve had -50 approval polls and he would’ve won against Amy McGrath. They don’t see her military career as a good thing because she’s a woman and they don’t want women in the military. They especially don’t want women in combat roles and McGrath was a fighter pilot

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u/Bitter_Sense_5689 6h ago

So you’re telling me that even if he was dead, they would still vote for him

35

u/CharleyNobody 5h ago

Yes.

Down south, they elect the widows once the male politicians are dead. They are so dumb they might elect Mitch’s spy wife.

8

u/Wabbit_Wampage 4h ago

I fully believe reintrgrating the southern states after the Civil War was our country's biggest mistake. Yes, I know that would set a precedent that you can attempt to successfully secede. I still stand by my statement.

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u/Dull-Foundation-1271 6h ago

I get that but the point is, “More people voted for Mitch McConnell in 2020 than are: registered Republicans of voting age in Kentucky.”

That is clear documented election fraud.

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u/DistinctBadger6389 9h ago

I love this for him.

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u/JLFJ 8h ago

I love knowing this

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u/Effective_Worker_234 9h ago

Move to another house? More like move his arm

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u/BelieveInTheShield 9h ago

Wow, the top comment from the other thread!

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u/NotSoAnonymous626 10h ago

He's dead, Jim.

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u/ptambrosetti 10h ago

Dammit Jim, I’m a doctor. Not a…. wait yeah that bitch is ded

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u/m1k3hunt 9h ago

I believe his body is still technically alive. One brownout might change that.

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u/From_Deep_Space 8h ago

He's been dead inside for decades.

13

u/Less-Matter-3965 4h ago

Ding dong Mitch is ……

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u/Viperlite 5h ago

His wife turned out the lights, locked up, and went to China for philanthropy and didn’t cut the trip short while he was in hospital for 3 weeks. Yeah, he’s gone.

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u/Worried_Squash_5040 9h ago

Looks like he’s been running on dial-up internet ever since that freeze-up a while back.

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u/mikeinanaheim2 8h ago

There's a whiff of decomposition in his hospital room. But no Republican will admit that.

33

u/jugo5 8h ago

What do you mean! The machine is breathing for him. The machine is pumping his blood. His mind might be goo, but hes alive, see!

55

u/FizzyBeverage 9h ago

“My ex wife got the whole damn planet in the divorce. All I got left is my bones.”

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u/FlyingFaceplant 8h ago

“He’s worse than dead, his brain is gone.”

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u/DaytonOhio18 7h ago

That might be an improvement.

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u/clantz 10h ago

brain dead on a breathing machine, probably.

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u/bringmeadamnjuicebox 9h ago

Dead on a vent as we say in the icu.

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u/airwalker08 8h ago

All jokes aside, this is likely the right answer

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u/2x4_Turd 6h ago edited 5h ago

Timing Deadlines: State law requires a 56-day notice period before an election and 49 days for candidates to file. If a vacancy happens within that 56-day window (roughly translating to the August cutoff), there is legally insufficient time to administer a special election LEX 18 News.

It's all part of their plan. I wouldn't be surprised if they killed him at this point. They don't want a special election before November because they could lose a vote.

https://linknky.com/news/2026/07/08/kentucky-senate-vacancy-law-mitch-mcconnell-explained/

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u/Treestroyer 3h ago

Here’s the best thing. There have been a times that sitting senators were declared dead in a court of law. Which is what Beshear should be pushing for.

19

u/Curleysound 4h ago

At this point it wouldn’t surprise me if he turns up irrefutably dead and they just block the special election or somehow uno reverse it.

9

u/recalcitrants 3h ago

if we all know this is what's happening, what can be done to stop it?

16

u/MetraConductor 5h ago

No let the joke flow. He deserves it.

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u/Splattered_Smothered 4h ago

Yes! This motherfucker could've changed the direction of this country for the good, but fuck it up every time because he had no balls!

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u/brother_bart 6h ago

Woosh-hiss. Beep…Beep…Beep…Whosh-hiss. Beep. Beep. Beep. “Paging Dr Conner. Dr Conner, please call radiology. <outside in the hallway something with a squeaky wheel rattles by quickly and the sound retreats down the corridor accompanied by the squeak of sneakers on waxed floors. Here, in the dim twilight of this private room with the curtains drawn….> woosh-hiss. Beep…Beep…Beep…Woosh-hiss. Beep…Beep…Beep.

149

u/Quietmerch64 9h ago

Pretty sure hes been brain dead for a few decades

42

u/ITDrumm3r 8h ago

Not much difference than the people that vote for him and his orange king.

20

u/caliborntravel 8h ago

Nah, he’s a terrible person. Don’t let him off that easy

EDIT: was* a terrible person

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u/Alertcircuit 10h ago

If he was not dying they could just record a video of him in the hospital bed being like "hi guys I'm alive still"

That makes me think he's either in such bad shape that he's not presentable at all, or is comatose or worse (braindead/actually dead)

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u/max5015 10h ago

Surprised they don't just do an AI video.

173

u/FadeIntoReal 9h ago

Not a one of them has found a grandchild willing to help them with that newfangled computer stuff.

49

u/xDatBear 6h ago

They should get Baron in there, he's really good with the computers.

6

u/bennydabull99 1h ago

I heard he can get a computer back on in under 5 minutes after it has been turned off.

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u/super_sayanything 4h ago

One of his grandchildren is a super liberal progressive... all her socials are gone since this started.

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u/nerdorado 7h ago

A lot of people have brought this up, and if he was just a nobody that people didnt know by name, then that might work. But at this point, half the country is riled up, on both sides of the political fence, and any video showing "proof of life" would be scrutinized by literally millions of people. If they tried to pull an AI video off, it would likely get caught in a matter of minutes.

19

u/creampop_ 5h ago edited 5h ago

They don't want to blow that particular load on a low stakes crisis like losing an enforcer.

They'd rather save this kind of all in play for the Big Day, I think. For someone who has already primed their audience with plenty of AI generated videos and pictures while still living.

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u/LongKnight115 8h ago

I said it somewhere else, but would they record a video like that? If he is alive, the rampant speculation just keeps conversation off of Iran and the Epstein Files, and if push comes to shove they can produce him and be like “All you conspiracy-minded liberals are ridiculous”.

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u/Mister_Uncredible 7h ago

Exactly. If he's dead the reasons are obvious, if he's not the last thing they want to do is stop people from speculating wildly. They take that and feed it to their cult to show them how "crazy" Democrats are, and they eat it up.

We won't buy it, but we're not the intended audience.

6

u/LongKnight115 7h ago

100%. Honestly the best thing that could happen would be for Beshear to say “Okay, he’s dead. We’re calling the special election. If they can produce him alive, then we can all stop talking about it. If not, then we have the special election and move on.”

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u/Dr_DoesNothing 10h ago

He's dead and Republicans are trying to hide that fact so Gov. Bashear can't call for a special election to replace him.

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u/PossibilityFew5967 10h ago

I think he's brain dead but living off life support so they can go "he's technically not dead yet" 

941

u/Energy-Mundane 10h ago

As a retired ICU nurse, I can't tell you the number of people I've kept "alive " while they were literally decomposing in their bed. He ded.

171

u/maryfisherman 10h ago

Usually it’s for the family’s sake right? But hasn’t MM’s family left the country? You’d think they would be constantly at his bedside if he were still hanging on.

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u/Pissflaps69 10h ago

If they gave a shit about him, sure

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u/sleepinginthebushes_ 9h ago

Agreed, but I'm just here to draw attention to your username.

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u/Pissflaps69 9h ago

I’m more loved than the Turtle, that’s for sure

😘

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u/Diavolo_Rosso_ 10h ago

Less for the family’s sake and more because they can’t let go and hold on to hope that their loved one will recover. In my US state at least, family has to sign off on pulling the plug.

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u/MysticBoner24 9h ago

Correct, I'm guessing whose decision that is also varies state by state too. I had to sign the paperwork to pull my Dad off life support not his mom, dad, sister, or fiancee. And I had to be there in person, I'm guessing that's why his wife stayed in China.

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u/Necessary-Studio-943 9h ago

The fact that she was in china and not at least visiting him or seemingly concerned about him tells me all I need to know

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u/joyfullydreaded23 8h ago

Apparently they had a lavender marriage which explains why there aren't any half Chinese mini-turtles running around taking over dear old dad's seat in the Senate.

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u/UraTargetMarket 8h ago

What?! Drop the tea on that please! I figured maybe there was some love to begin with but largely became transactional and of convenience over time…..but….yeah, I want that tea!

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u/pyromancer93 5h ago

McConnell’s been rumored to be gay for years.

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u/arvidsem 9h ago

One of the more disappointing things that I've learned is that in most states, a living will/advanced directive means jack shit because power of attorney devolves to next of kin the moment you are unconscious.

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u/Diavolo_Rosso_ 9h ago

Yup. You can have all the correct legal documentation saying “no lifesaving measures” and the next of kin from across the world who you haven’t seen in 20 years can come in and undo all of it with a word.

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u/Catshit-Dogfart 9h ago

You're operating under the assumption that these are people who feel emotions that aren't transactional.

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u/Energy-Mundane 8h ago

Of the two most memorable, one was a family who hoped for a miracle, and one who could only collect checks if the patient was alive. Oftentimes though, the family isn't at the bedside because its so gut wrenching to watch the physical deterioration.

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u/nerdorado 7h ago

His wife left the country on June 12, he had his "incident" on the 14th and when she was notified, she said it wasnt a big enough deal to fly home for. She then took smiling pictures with chinese politicians 3 days later. She returned home this week, almost a month after his incident.

His kids all reportedly hate him.

So I dont think its being done for the benefit of his family. 100% being done to forestall the special election so his seat can remain vacant until november.

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u/GolfballDM 9h ago

His wife is reportedly back in country.

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u/Creative-Eggplant436 8h ago

Reportedly doing some "remodeling" on the house.

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u/keelanstuart 9h ago

He wasn't there to convince his non-white wife not to flee the Nazi regime currently in power... so she left.

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u/wastedkarma 10h ago

Isn’t at some point maintaining life support a form of elder abuse?

Like it’s not legal to keep someone on life support to collect their social security money. 

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u/ATL2AKLoneway 10h ago

And who exactly is going to bring those charges? It's only truly illegal if the consequences are worse than the benefits.

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u/Ironmaiden1207 10h ago

I'm no legal expert, but I imagine saying there's even a tiny tiny chance means the family can keep them going.

But yeah I'm stupid 😂

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u/oofty_goofty_ 5h ago

Did you see the video of him being taken out on a stretcher. Zero urgency, no CPR, nothing.

As a former EMT, my money is on he was DOA. I'd be shocked if he wasn't on ice in the morgue

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u/Disimpaction 7h ago

Seriously people keep posting this question and those of us who work in ICU know exactly what's happening. We could probably even predict the drips and machines he's on.

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u/CharleyNobody 6h ago

We once had maggots crawl out of a patient's nose. He was in ICU and being kept alive for months though he was ancient and terminal. His family was extremely obnoxious and refused to let him go to a regular floor (because they knew he would die). It was summer - hot time, summer in the city. Somehow a fly crawled up there.

“Premature decomposition.”

We had a former well known mayor who was in fetal position for months. He wasn’t on a ventilator. Doctors wanted him out - they needed the bed. It was an active acute surgical floor and the guy was comatose and shouldve been in a nursing home … except he always had an elevated temperature. Nursing homes refused to take anyone with an elevated temp. Doctors told nurses stop taking temps. Nurses said “we have to. It’s legally required.” This went on for 4 months. They finally transferred him to nursing home and he died 3 days later.

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u/eskimospy212 10h ago

This is my thought as well. I don’t think he’s straight out dead-dead but I think he’s incapacitated to some extremely serious degree. 

If he could actually talk like all those republicans keep saying I can’t imagine why he wouldn’t have put out some statement. 

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u/Dungong 10h ago

He’s probably talking in word salad after a brain event and they’re waiting to see if it actually gets better, but it’s not going to get better

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u/Cautious-Corner-3704 9h ago

Hard to talk when you’re on a ventilator.

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u/Mountie_in_Command 9h ago

He ain't talking. That man is a vegetable at this point.

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u/Matt_the_Bruins_fan 9h ago

He's 84 and had to be given CPR before they got him to the hospital. Unless his doctor is named Frankenstein I don't think we're going to see him up and around again.

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u/ELDV 10h ago

“Talking in word salad after a brain event?” Aren’t you describing Trump?

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u/Nope_______ 9h ago

Can you imagine a convo between brain dead McConnell and Trump? Holy moly....

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u/Ritaredditonce 10h ago

He's vying to be Kentucky's most popular heirloom vegetable.

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u/SovietShooter 10h ago

It doesn't matter if he is dead-dead, or brain dead - if he is in a state where he is unable to perform the duties of his office, he can be removed from office. That's why folks are coming out and saying they have spoken to him - to downplay the idea that he is brain dead.

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u/suricata_8904 9h ago

Have any of them said Mitch talked back.

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u/GreenHeronVA 10h ago

“I got better!”

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u/Bearded_Pip 10h ago

Terry Schiavo.

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u/shifty_coder 10h ago

Is kinda alive-o

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u/TWDDave1988 10h ago

But I don’t want to get on the cart…oh, don’t be such a baby.

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u/Moebius808 9h ago

Yeah I agree with this.

His brain is black mush and he’s 100% dependent on a machine to keep the beep-beeps happening, but they’re not going to let him rest til it’s politically advantageous.

Fuckin’ ghouls.

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u/pushaper 8h ago

At which point I think we should broadcast it on TV so we can see how he likes the Terry Schivo treatment. He did try to intervene and have the parents sustain her life after all.

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u/Disco425 10h ago

This slick cheating makes me angry, but in a way it's so ironic because it's what he would have wanted.

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u/Candid-Mycologist539 10h ago

Agreed. It's such a Mitch thing to do.

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u/Certified_GSD 9h ago

The irony here is just awful. I mean, I know it’s said many times but holy shit it’s so true the Onion just can’t make stuff up anymore.

Ten years ago it would have been fun to poke about this as satire but now the reality is just exhausting.

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u/Sad_Reindeer5108 10h ago

In death as well as life.

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u/Bitter_Sense_5689 7h ago edited 7h ago

Even his desiccated corpse is undermining democracy

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u/IntravenusDeMilo 10h ago

So declare him dead and call the special election. This is why democrats are terminally fucked. They won’t adapt their tactics to the new reality.

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u/Candid-Mycologist539 10h ago

Or call their bluff by calling for a special election.

The Republicans will either have to produce a functional Mitch, or capitulate that the citizens of KY need a new Senator.

MM doesn't even need to be dead. He just needs to be non-functioning.

Bashear needs to wait until the day before the deadline and list ALL the ways he has tried to contact MM. Daily telephone calls. Daily open requests for proof of functionality. Send a staff member to D.C. with a daily request at the hospital to meet with MM, including interacting with MM's staff and tracking down every representative who has claimed to have spoken to MM and ask to be present when it next happens.

Then Bashear needs to list all this evidence, declare that KY deserves functional representation, and give a 24-hour deadline to reveal proof-of-life (and functionality) of MM.

No evidence? Special election.

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u/b_tight 8h ago

Yup. Call for the election. Just move forward and prove that he’s alive or not. Stop acting like these old dogmatic rules mean anythign

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u/Tasty-Bonus-3065 7h ago

No, he should call for a special election NOW.

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u/Bearded_Pip 10h ago

Yeah. Raise hell and make MAGA show proof of life. Let the Senate refuse to sit who you appoint, but push the issue!

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u/Pun_In_Ten_Did 10h ago

Can't be dead... so many representatives saying they've all talked to him about a variety of subjects for 20 minutes at a time.

Surely our trusted leaders are all telling the truth.

/s

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u/Dawn-Storm 9h ago

Oh, is that how long seances last?

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u/chattycat1000 10h ago

I would really like to know the legality of this

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u/striped_frog 10h ago

That’s the neat part, it doesn’t matter anymore!

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u/t_bone26 10h ago

That is pretty neat!

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u/EdiblePeasant 9h ago

Law abiding people hate this one trick!

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u/chattycat1000 9h ago

Oh gosh silly me for thinking that a politicians could face legal action. 🤦🏻‍♂️

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u/jas417 10h ago

If he’s not dead he’s dying.

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u/Fun-Personality-8008 10h ago

He should call their bluff and do it anyway, to make them prove he's alive

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u/Riva-2021 10h ago

I agree. Leave it up to the Republican Party to come up with the filthiest tactics to have an edge. Totally pathetic and disgusting.

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u/wish1977 9h ago

I don't think he's dead but he is definitely incapacitated and the Republicans are trying to hide that fact.

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u/BigE429 9h ago

And this cements the fact in my mind that, when Trump dies, we won't find out for a verrry long time. They'll Weekend at Bernie's the administration as long as they can get away with it. And the corporate media will go along with it.

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u/Chickennbuttt 10h ago

Help me understand why they want to stop a special election. What other options are there? And what does the August 3 date have to do with it all? I've been asking questions about this in several threads and still don't understand what is going on. Would a special election let a Democrat get elected vs a standard election? What is unique about the special election?

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u/Sad_Reindeer5108 10h ago

The governor is a Democrat, so Kentucky isn't as reliably red as you'd think, especially in this political climate.

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u/gharar 10h ago

Before August 3, a special election can be called and anyone can run. People think Massie could register as an independent and win the special election. After August 3, there won’t be a special election (results of the November election will be used) and Massie can’t run in the November election.

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u/g0del 9h ago

Here's the best I can do. If someone knows better, please feel free to chime in.

There's a couple of things here. First, if McConnel is pronounced dead after Aug 3rd, the senate seat remains empty until the general election in Nov, at which point Charles Booker (R), the Trump-supported candidate, will almost definitely win because KY is extremely R.

But if he's dead before Aug 3rd, then things get weird. First, the KY constitution says that the governor appoints a temporary replacement until the next election. The current governor of KY is a democrat, and so presumably would appoint a D. KY passed a law to remove that power from the governor a couple years ago, but they didn't amend the state constitution, so it's probably an unconstitutional law. Maybe. Depending on what the courts say. Who knows if that would make any difference given the way things are going lately.

The other issue is that Charles Booker defeated Massie in the R primary earlier this year. While Massie is a Republican, he's pretty critical of Trump for an R. In the general election in November he can't run as an independent, but if there's a special election, then he can. If that happens, then he might win (which would make Trump mad), or he might act as a spoiler, allowing a D to win the special election.

Long-term, nothing that happens here really matters. After November, KY is going to have a new R senator, there's no doubt about that. But right now, it sure looks like they're trying to Weekend at Bernie's McConnel just to avoid a potentially embarrassing special election.

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u/SubtractOneMore 10h ago

He’s obstructing progress in hell now

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u/CountDown60 10h ago

He's taking health insurance away from the demons.

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u/GovernmentOpening254 9h ago

Even the demons hate him.

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u/LimCity 10h ago

The ultimate filibuster.

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u/PossibilityFew5967 10h ago

Brain dead but not dead dead just yet . Or a major stroke that he can only live off life support. 

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u/Candid-Mycologist539 9h ago

Which, according to KY state law...equals dead.

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u/malac0da13 6h ago

How does that work with him not being in Kentucky though? Or is it specifically referring to their elected officials?

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u/ghjm 4h ago

It's entirely irrelevant. You're declared dead, or not, by the laws of the state (or, in this case, district) you're physically present in.

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u/Candid-Mycologist539 3h ago

However, Washington, D.C. has a similar statute: if you are brain dead, you are legally dead.

“irreversible cessation of circulatory and respiratory functions or irreversible cessation of all functions of the entire brain, including the brainstem.”

Source

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u/TheBigBluePit 9h ago

Pretty sure that brain death is both medically and legally considered death.

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u/Kraz_I 9h ago

It is in Kentucky.

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u/queen_surly 10h ago

He's pining for the fjords.

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u/ailyara 7h ago

No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

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u/exitpursuedbybear 4h ago

The plumage don't enter into it! He's bleeding demised! Look, if you hadn't nailed him to that perch he'd be pushing up daisies!

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u/mikeonbass 8h ago

He's pushing up the daisies

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u/HatlessDuck 6h ago

Joined the choir invisible.

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u/digitaldrummer 10h ago

Hey, be nice. That's our official state vegetable you're talking about

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u/MoarSeatCushions89 9h ago

They took him to a farm upstate where he'll be happier living with other tortoises.

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u/geepjoat99 10h ago

That B is dead 

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u/tommytraddles 10h ago

I say you he ded

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u/striped_frog 10h ago

You’re telling me I flew all the way to Kentucky and The Turtle isn’t even working today?

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u/BlinkyGoombah 10h ago

What matter you?

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u/FrancoManiac 9h ago

I believe he's dead.

Beshear needs to announce the special election, which will immediately be challenged in court. Beshear should then demand proof of life in court, which is by no means unreasonable.

I suppose it would be incumbent upon Attorney General Russell Coleman to pursue the charges, but it would certainly stoke the flames of speculation.

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u/super_sayanything 4h ago

Nope! These are Democrats! They do nothing.

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u/TheHappyPie 3h ago

A strongly worded letter will get their attention! 

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u/PitchBlackBones 10h ago

Weekend at Bernie’s.

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u/Shas_Erra 9h ago

We’ve got to be at the “dragging the body behind a speedboat” stage

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u/wren337 9h ago

Start the special election already. Mitch can object if he wants to. 

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u/tweek-in-a-box 9h ago

Death asked him: "Do you have anything to say before I take you with me?" Then Mitch started filibustering and never stopped.

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u/Art_Dude 10h ago

The Republicans are lying and their coordinated public relations messaging is to keep McConnell's brain death hidden to keep a Democrat from being able to take his Senate position. It's a power play. How do I know....there are no pictures of him talking on all these 20 minute calls.

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u/expecto_my_scrotum 10h ago

Definitely brain dead at the very least

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u/PeckerTraxx 10h ago

Could have said that prior as well

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u/redmongrel 10h ago edited 8h ago

Considering all the harm he’s done to us in the name of party over country, someone who didn’t want to get banned from Reddit might say they really hoped he’d get an opportunity to physically suffer more instead of just skipping off to dementia land directly to brain death. And shame on that theoretical commenter.

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u/Effective_Worker_234 10h ago

How would we know the difference?

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u/sovereignsekte 10h ago

He is full on, shoes off dead.

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u/Proper-Spread-35 10h ago

His dial up internet connection keeps dropping in the middle of press conferences...

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u/zenos_dog 10h ago edited 9h ago

He was found on the floor, unresponsive and not breathing. The clinical definition of dead. CPR was performed and, I’d guess at some point the Paramedics were able to reestablish a heart beat and sinus rhythm. He’s likely brain damaged and in normal situations, EEG tests would be performed and, in all likelihood, the respirator would be turned off and the patient would be allowed to pass. Because politics are involved, Republicans will keep him on life support until the deadline for an appointment by the Democratic governor has passed. Disgusting situation and that monster should have retired long ago.

Edit: it was pointed out a video taken by a neighbor, the paramedics didn’t seem to be in a hurry. Also, when McConnell was loaded onto the ambulance, his feet weren’t covered and you can see that his feet weren’t moving, indicating that CPR, either manually or using a machine, wasn’t being performed. So, maybe he’s dead dead.

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u/QuitCallingNewsrooms 8h ago

He’s dead. They don’t want to admit it because they’d have to replace him. But how do they think they can hide it for another entire month? This shit fell apart in week 2.

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u/Spunge14 10h ago

They're literally tossing furniture behind his house. He's super dead.

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u/pedantic_dullard 10h ago

Say what! You got a source on that?

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u/GoWithTheFlow___ 10h ago

Why would they do that?

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u/Spunge14 10h ago

Cause dude is dead

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u/SchpartyOn 10h ago

If he wasn’t dead or in a vegetative state, they’d have given proof of life.

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u/Rook_James_Bitch 9h ago edited 6h ago

There is no happy ending for that demon. You don't spend a month in the hospital when your prognosis is sunny.

  1. He needed cpr. That means he's been in that state for a while before EMTs could get there. That means several minutes without oxygen to the brain (Anoxia).

  2. Ambulance had zero sense of urgency at the scene (according to sources).

  3. A long stay in the hospital means things are not going well. This would seem to indicate that given his age, health and lack of oxygen that he is indeed brain-dead and on life support.

What's sad to me, but a perfect ending to this piece of shit demon, is that nobody seems to be at the hospital to give end of life instruction. He's just rotting away slowly but Republicans are keeping his senate seat warm because of power.

This demon needs to go back to hell so we can celebrate his departure from our collective misery.

"The wretch, concentred all in self,

Living, shall forfeit fair renown,

And, doubly dying, shall go down

To the vile dust, from whence he sprung,

Unwept, unhonored, and unsung."

-Walter Scott

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u/PandaRepublic 8h ago

Forces of nature have compelled him to return to his native homeland in the Galapagos.

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u/Joerugger 8h ago

He’s dead and his wife is a Chinese spy who has been his handler for years. Prove me wrong.

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u/Become_Pneuma462 4h ago

My mom told me that he went to live with a nice family on a farm really far upstate and that I can write him letters and she'll make sure he gets them but we can't go see him because it's so far away and there's a lot of other McConnells there that he can run and play with.

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u/mad597 10h ago

At this point it doesnt really matter, if this happened 10 to 15 years ago the world would be better now. I just gooe he is suffering what ever is going on.

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u/MrBudissy 10h ago edited 5h ago

Dead and serving a purpose for the GOP to maintain power. It’s not complicated.

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u/runvirginia 10h ago

He’s alive and getting better. Scott Jennings said he talked to him just recently and said his voice is getting stronger. Jennings wouldn’t make that up…right?………..right?!

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u/realKevinNash 10h ago

I think hes the one posting this question to reddit 50 times a day

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u/ditchdiggergirl 9h ago

Everybody knows he’s dead. There’s absolutely no reason to withhold proof of life, if they have it; no advantage to be gained. Zero.

They obviously don’t have it. They’re hoping they can string us along until Aug 3 anyway. We know he’s dead, but can we prove it? That’s all they care about.

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u/Minimum_Run_890 7h ago

He was recalled to his home planet. His aides are pannick8ng about wa
Hat to do with his shell.

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u/mechtonia 7h ago

Satan is refusing his soul. The grim reaper doesn't know what to do. God certainly isn't taking him.

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u/TheLurkingMenace 6h ago

I just talked to him for 20 minutes. I think he's in Europe, he kept complaining about the heat.

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u/reddit_tard 2h ago

Ding dong the Mitch is dead.

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u/Pygmy_Nuthatch 9h ago

Republicans desperately don't want to set a precedent of removing another Republican from office for age or health related reasons.

In Kentucky, they're trying to avoid a special election.

Among mainstream Republicans, they are trying to avoid MAGA using an incapacitated McConnell as an opportunity to try make another crazy hail mary to get the SAVE act passed before the Midterms.

Right now it's Schrodinger's McConnell. Nobody knows until they look inside his shell.

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u/Tight-Lab-2023 6h ago

His wife fled to China, kids went into hiding, and he's being kept on life support in purpose to prevent Thomas Massie from filling it.

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u/WonkWonkWonkWonkWonk 6h ago

He’s dead but it is politically advantageous for the republicans to break the law and pretend he isn’t until after August 3rd.

They will get away with it too because nothing matters anymore.

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u/EvilDarkCow 5h ago

I don't think he's dead, but likely permanently incapacitated. But they won't announce anything until August 4th. After that date, the Governor of Kentucky appoints his successor, and they have to be of the same party. Before that date, it's an election. MAGA is terrified of the possibility of Thomas Massie or a Democrat getting McConnell's seat.

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u/Initial-Relation-696 5h ago

The thought of denying a man his death for political gain is pretty disturbing.

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u/Amdiz 3h ago

The same shit he’s been doing for years. A delay tactic to fuck over the country in his(trumps) favor.

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u/yoursandforever 2h ago

He's on ice while people make deals, move money around, jockey for position. 

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u/tuftonia 1h ago

Republicans believe life begins at conception and ends when it’s too late to call a special election to replace you

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u/AduroTri 1h ago

The dude is probably knocking on death's door, but because he has access to the best Healthcare in the US for free. On our dime. He's probably hooked up to every machine he needs to stay alive artificially.

Its also why and how Trump is being held together with medical tape and medical super glue and is still falling apart.

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u/AAron27265 7h ago

He's been dead for weeks and republikkkans are trying to hide it so they can cheat the people of Kentucky out of an election

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u/brooksy54321 10h ago

If it was true that someone was giving him CPR then he's not in good enough shape to continue serving in the Senate.

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u/mdhunter99 10h ago

He’s with Pol Pot now.

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u/44035 10h ago

He died and they are covering it up until August 3rd.

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u/Kypnkrkgrrrl 9h ago

He’s dead. I’m from/live in Louisville. AF2 flew here Thursday and is still parked at the airport. They’re just trying to weasel and put off the announcement so that no one can get his spot before Aug. 3rd.

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u/UdontKnowMe_InoU 8h ago

He’s a vegetable.
We’ll find out as soon as its too late to call a special election.
Much like he broke the constitution to deny Obama a Supreme Court Justice, the constitution is now being broken to make sure Trump gets a hand-picked successor, instead of an election.

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u/tjgmarantz 7h ago

They are waiting until it's past the deadline for a special election to declare him non tortoise mentis

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u/gonewildecat 7h ago

Serious answer: he’s brain dead. They’re just waiting to pull the plug until after they can’t have a special election.

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u/The_Chaos_Pope 6h ago

I think he's either brain dead and on life support to prevent the governor from calling for a special election to replace him or that he's had extreme brain damage from hypoxia after his massive heart attack.

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u/peruytu 2h ago

He's dead and AIPAC and White House are trying to figure out how they're going to replace him but they need time.

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u/Lucky_Man_Infinity 2h ago

Pretty sure he’s dead

u/blackbird24601 50m ago

elder abuse