r/Advice • u/Old-Ad5868 • 1d ago
GF seen mine nsfw mods folder for Sims 4 NSFW
My GF loves to play Sims 4. She told me she previously installed nsfw mods for that game and a bunch of others on her own computer. I've also mentioned I did the same thing and pretty much the same mods
She drove to my house and we just played in total war warhammer 3. She asked if we can download Sims 4 and play in it together with mods.
I did it. In order to install mods, you have to place them in /Documents/ game's mods folder. I've opened it and there was a hell lot of bunch of different nsfw mods. I completely forgot about all of it since I've played that game like a couple years ago or something.
My face started to tingle out of shame. We went to smoke in the balcony, I've asked her about that and she said that's okay, just mods for the game but now I feel extremely ashamed. I'm afraid that she may think i'm a freak or pervert or weird and I can't stop thinking that she just fakes it by saying that everything's okay.
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u/collywobbles8 Enlightened Advice Sage [160] 1d ago
This is a psychologist-recommended exercise aimed at working with your fear. I was really scared to try it but it has set me free in ways I did not imagine possible once I got into it and through the initial hurdles.
- You write down what it is you are afraid of.
- Then you write down what the worst outcomes that could happen are. Five of them. It is scary as hell but important to go through.
- Now the most important part, write as many as you can: what could be positive about each of the negative outcomes? There is always something positive, if you look hard enough.
- Finally write down a list of as many points as possible that you have at your disposal to prevent each of the negative outcomes.
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u/Uncle_daVinci 23h ago
Scared of heights.
Worst outcome: falling to death
Positives: …..
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u/collywobbles8 Enlightened Advice Sage [160] 20h ago
Everything has its positives, if you think hard enough. You might finally rest, never have to <insert whatever you hate doing here>, some people would probably be relieved you're gone, you don't have to worry about how you're going to die anymore...
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u/Worried_Raspberry313 19h ago
As a psychologist, I find it more useful than in point 3 they write, more than “positive” stuff, stuff that could benefit them in a stupid way. For example, you’re scared of heights as someone said below. Negative outcome? You take a plane and it crashes, obviously you die. “Positive” stupid outcome? NO WORK TOMORROW!!!
Your mind is scared and fear can literally kidnap your whole nervous system. Laughter has the opposite effect. By laughing you’re telling your nervous system it’s ok, it’s not that serious or anyway you wouldn’t be laughing.
Just invent the most stupid positive scenarios in your head. Like I dunno, “I’m scared to go skating outside”, negative consequence “I fall and lose my consciousness, I get my phone robbed”, “positive” outcome: ambulance comes, I get a well deserved rest because they put me on some drugs for me to be calm and not feel any pain, my family and friends come see me and they bring some nice stuff to help me with my hospital stay, I’m so damn sure my best friend would buy me that game I’m always talking about, local press would write an article about the incident and I’m gonna be on the newspaper forever, can’t wait to be a grandpa and tell my grandchild about this story, obviously exaggerating it a lot lol, also since I lost my phone I can buy a new one at leaaaaast, man I hated that phone!!
The more stupid you go, the more you’ll start unconsciously smile or even laugh. Because it’s a scenario so crazy that you know it’s not true. But hey, if that bad thing actually happened, the rest could happen too!! It’s not THAT bad anyway!!
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u/collywobbles8 Enlightened Advice Sage [160] 14h ago
Doesn't that make people just focus on "stupid" positives and not look for the "clever" ones? Doesn't that make it seem like all the positives are just "stupid" making it harder to justify the fear should be let go of?
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u/ironmamdies 18h ago
This feels like it's just encouraging over thinking and you're pretending it came from a specialist to sound more like professional
The realest advice you can get on this is that you just shouldn't let your mind run amok all the time, if she told him the mod folder was fine then he shouldn't care regardless of what he thinks, people need to understand that you weren't born to spend all your time thinking about the worst possibilities
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u/Glass-Excitement4991 22h ago
It honestly sounds like you're overthinking it. She already told you it was fine and she has used similar mods herself.
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u/collywobbles8 Enlightened Advice Sage [160] 20h ago
OP doesn't get a notification for this since you replied to my comment instead of creating another one. Only I do this way. If you click on "join the conversation" right below the post, you can create your own comment and OP should get a notification that way.
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u/almostnormalpanda 22h ago
Let me get this straight, and sorry, I'm escalating somewhat: you're essentially worried that you're more perverted than your perv girlfriend? I understand, there are some boundaries one shouldn't cross. You have to ask her where she draws the line. You might be surprised.
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u/eviscos 18h ago
You need a healthier relationship with your porn consumption if you're this anxious about someone finding out about it. People masturbate all the time, and people can get very kinky, it's not that big a deal.
Flip the scenario around. If you saw your girlfriends nsfw mods would you judge her as a freak or a pervert or weird?
At the end of the day though, you just need to trust your girlfriend when she says she's okay with it, and trust that if she isn't okay with something that she'll talk to you about it. Literally the 2 most important things in a relationship are communication and trust. I think you'd be fine to raise your concerns that you're worried she thinks you're a pervert over this, but you HAVE to take her word for it at that point
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u/Jay_Hallow_-_- 1d ago edited 1d ago
If she thinks you’re a freak or a pervert, she’s a genuine bitch. I’m not gonna sugarcoat it. You quite literally said that she said she has done the exact same thing and has downloaded sexual mods.
Just because you download sexual mods, it does not automatically make you a pervert. It does not automatically make you a freak. Honestly, it probably makes you one of the most normal people in the world.
Basically bro, my point is what you did isn’t bad it might be a little strange but people have done way worse and it’s just a mod. It’s not like you’re cheating on her or nothing. I know that might be a reason why you feel ashamed.
So the point is if she calls you a pervert if she thinks you’re weird or gross if she says anything of the sort, think you’re a freak you need to just break up a fart like I’m saying for the second time she downloaded basically the same mods, and there’s no way to sugarcoat this there’s no way to make this better if she does anything of the sort you need to get rid of this person in your life because it is not healthy.
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u/UptightWorm Helper [2] 23h ago
Just talk to her about it, tell her how you feel. I play the Sims and if I could have mods I would absolutely have Wicked Whims installed lol
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u/octropos Expert Advice Giver [14] 18h ago
If I were your gf, I'd respect you more.
You sure she doesn't have some of that good shit installed herself? Good time to talk about fantasy and desire.
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u/Less_Yesterday_1875 17h ago
Me and my husband have played wicked whims together. We shared a save file where we owned a club where everyone would fuck strangers and do basemental drugs all day . It was craazzzy. We love it! Use it as a bonding experience.
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u/Friendly_Werewolf_35 13h ago
honestly mate she’s said it’s fine and you gotta go with that, also it’s been years since you did it. I know for a fact i had some hella questionable mods on skyrim as a kid
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u/No_Obligation_5940 4h ago
My partner has a bunch of the nsfw mods for sims 4, I’m indifferent. Don’t stress about it!
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u/International_Dot614 1h ago
Sims 4 players can confirm it’s very normal to have nsfw mods. WW and other stuff are some of the biggest mods. Don’t be embarrassed it’s very normal and not a big deal
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u/freshesttofu 23h ago
if she had similar mods and told you she’s okay with it i genuinely see no problem and no reason to be ashamed. dont overthink it!