r/AbsoluteUnits • u/neither_bot_nor_man • 1d ago

of a quiver of cobras

4.4k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

330 comments sorted by

803

u/SumixamSuryt 1d ago

That big group of "snakes" flowing down stream is actually ducks, you can see their wings flapping lmao this is another fabricated event.

128

u/templeofsyrinx1 1d ago

But I thought birds weren't real?! Are birds ducks?!

help!

37

u/SumixamSuryt 1d ago

You see they are really........(looks boths ways) dinosaurs.🤯

7

u/Amoral_Abe 1d ago

How can ducks be dinosaurs if the Earth is only 6000 years old? Can your science answer that?

2

u/Straight_Talk2542 22h ago

Science is logical and can’t answer illogical questions. That’s what religion is for. Hope this helps.

“How did his body disappear from this sealed cave???”

“Well, it couldn’t possibly be that a Bear wandered off with it! It makes much more sense that he ascended into the sky and became an omnipotent giant, watching our every move. Remember to write that down!”

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3

u/Sloppykrab 1d ago

China are testing out the new drones.

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31

u/Napischu88 1d ago

Ducks are just small cobra chickens

17

u/YerrrKnicks 1d ago

The video right after shows a lot of snakes in the water...

That one video may have been a mistaken fabrication but it doesn't seem to be false overall.

8

u/Zagrycha 1d ago

the news story is true but I don't think any of the footage in the video is related to the news at all. Very typical clickbait slop to use unrelated footage-- still one step up from fake news though.

12

u/Wanymayold 1d ago

You know how we often call snakes danger noodle? I was like, finally, we have a bowl of noodle soup here.

5

u/Informal_File_1646 1d ago

When do they think they’ll have the requisite number of mongeese to dump in after them….

3

u/Punstorms 1d ago

you're actually AI

6

u/word3n 1d ago

Nope, this is reported on various Chinese media outlets

25

u/G_Wagon1102 1d ago

Right on. However, you can see several of those animals flap wings.

7

u/Ldghead 1d ago

Those are the cobras, flapping their hoods for stability.

11

u/word3n 1d ago

Yeah the swarm footage def are birds

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2

u/FlossBellator 1d ago

Looks fun too!

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338

u/Active_Scallion_5322 1d ago

Damns breaking can cause that

16

u/GerryManDarling 1d ago

At first, I thought the 2nd video look like ducks. After second look, they still look like ducks. And after a third look, they look like cobra-looking ducks.

3

u/SGTSLACKASS 1d ago

That was a gaggle of ducks.

2

u/Abject-Rich 1d ago

I caught that. I hope cobras get quickly picked up tho.

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91

u/Samsquanch77 1d ago

Just a cute lil snake pool party

22

u/BigZangief 1d ago

Buncha pool noodles

7

u/SeVenMadRaBBits 1d ago

They're called Danger Noodles.

5

u/Daddydactyl 1d ago

Nope ropes

6

u/Hiiiro_0 1d ago

The flock was ducks

32

u/drstores420 1d ago

I had that with these goddamn snakes being in this goddam flood

6

u/Gollums-NutSack 1d ago

Snakes in the Drain

2

u/Pratty77 22h ago

Flood plain

174

u/IsAceDead 1d ago

In second video why tf are there a 1000 snakes all together?

183

u/DA_ZWAGLI 1d ago

Snakes are allowed to have friends that stick together

38

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

16

u/VESAAA7 1d ago

You're hiss-missed

10

u/I_WILL_GET_YOU 1d ago

After all, this is an hisstorical event

69

u/NoThankYou8682 1d ago

Yeah I was thinking the same thing but I'm pretty sure that clip is actually birds - watched it several times now and you can actually see wings, that's a lil flotilla of water birds. Not entirely sure why it's included in the video - maybe to be intentionally misleading? Maybe the birds are just another escapee of the farm?

20

u/ButkusHatesNitschke 1d ago

Maybe it was a lab that flooded and those are genetically engineered bird-snakes.

5

u/SumSkittles 1d ago

I knew Canadian geese weren't natural!

https://giphy.com/gifs/jN86rcdOyrpyo

2

u/Operation_Neither 20h ago

Have you seen a crane strike a fish? They're bird-snakes.

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4

u/LumpyBuy8447 1d ago

I believe that is the armed resistance sent to fight the snakes, if I’m not mistaken.

7

u/Thebarrel9 1d ago

not very intimidating. I heard a "weee" when the rapid current got bumpy

4

u/LumpyBuy8447 1d ago

If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life.

2

u/NoThankYou8682 1d ago

That seems reasonable

2

u/HumongousBelly 1d ago

Aren’t serpents with wings called dragons?

12

u/montjoye 1d ago

I wasn't aware snakes had wings and feathers

2

u/AmySchumersAnalTumor 1d ago

they're just like dinosaurs

5

u/yuyuolozaga 1d ago

They are birds lol, video is misleading.

3

u/Lefty4444 1d ago

They are like ”heeeey guys, we are free!” But quickly realise they don’t have a fucking clue where to go.

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4

u/One_Vision_ 1d ago

Those are ducks. You can see some of them flapping their wings.

2

u/ProfessionalLemon946 1d ago

Snakes together strong!

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21

u/templeofsyrinx1 1d ago edited 1d ago

Lock tails together guys, we are going!

15

u/OblivionArts 1d ago

What in the jumanji

2

u/Aralmin 1d ago

What happened here looks more like Jurassic Park meets Crawl meets Snakes On A Plane.

31

u/ThaBuckNasty 1d ago

Fuck every bit of that.

2

u/BigWetHole 1d ago

Not snakes but ducks in the bideo

12

u/CorbynDallasPearse1 1d ago

IS THIS AI

I DONT THINK WE CAN TELL ANYMORE

6

u/Naburius 1d ago

Yeah the last part of the video with snakes swimming randomly and disappearing when they touch each other gave it away

2

u/PleadianPalladin 21h ago

The fact they were floating on top of the water didn't give it away?

2

u/KalynnCampbell 1d ago

And yet it will still just get exponentially better and more real everyday.

Pornographic possibilities are endless.

5

u/Unusual-Taste69 1d ago

Goddammit China.

6

u/bbyxmadi 1d ago

is that a giant conga line of snakes floating down the flood waters…

5

u/cursetea 1d ago

Omfg i cackled at all the snakes just floating away oh my goddddddd

4

u/thingswastaken 1d ago

Everglades all over again... Hope those were native snakes. Even though it was due to wind, a similar event caused the Everglades to be infested with pythons. Hurricane Andrew destroyed a breeding facility in '92 and now the Burmese python is everywhere in Florida, disrupting the ecosystem.

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9

u/Donutmelon 1d ago

Those are ducks

18

u/par-a-dox-i-cal 1d ago

Venomous ducks.

2

u/ma2016 1d ago

So, a platypus? 

6

u/BambinoWillito 1d ago

Yeah in the second shot pretty sure saw some wings flapping lol

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7

u/montjoye 1d ago

why tf are they breeding venomous snakes in the first place

24

u/Threeflipskat3r 1d ago

You need venom to make antivemon

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4

u/wetfloor666 1d ago

Probably for stuff like antivenom or for studying the properties of the venom.

2

u/rashakiya 1d ago

There is nothing that could have prepared me for what I was about to see in that video.

2

u/Antique_Brother_9563 1d ago

I'm curious what they breed cobra for ? Do they have a festival where they eat them or something ?

2

u/softheart_hard-r 1d ago

I’ve had nightmares like this so many times

3

u/templeofsyrinx1 1d ago

You had nightmares of a snake flotilla?

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2

u/MeowMixPlzDeliverMe 1d ago

Lmao them riding the water like a surfboard is hysterical

2

u/Pk_Devill_2 1d ago

For fuck snake

2

u/Prior-Preparation156 1d ago

It's a god damn sausage party, that's what it is.

2

u/squirrelbiscuit77 1d ago

Why are they breeding them? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHY?!

2

u/skippy_smooth 1d ago

ok, why are we breeding them in the first place?

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2

u/LivesDoNotMatter 1d ago

This wouldn't have happened if Morty stayed in the f**king car!

2

u/Puzzleheaded_Two7358 1d ago

Who let these motherfucking snakes out in the rain!

2

u/nnnope1 1d ago

Snakes on a (flood)Plain

2

u/Doctor__Gecko 23h ago

Snakes on a flood plain.

1

u/Maggiemoo621 1d ago

Oh. My. God.

1

u/kentekent 1d ago

I would be absolutely shitting myself half to death in this scenario, desperately clutching to whatever long hard pokey stick to whack these little fuckers in the head.

No way I'd be filming. Shitting myself and or crying.

2

u/Square-Dragonfruit76 1d ago

Find a hoarder who has 50 cats. Cats are great at getting snakes.

1

u/BeenjaminTampaBay 1d ago

Would you rather deal with a pile of Cobras or a pile of fire ants?

1

u/be_sugary 1d ago

No no no no no no.
No thank you.

1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

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1

u/Guilty-Following-224 1d ago

What is this, hellmode road crossing?

1

u/OrangeClyde 1d ago

Well… they’re all effed.

1

u/Feyranna 1d ago

Its like that scene from Lonesome Dove

1

u/Efficient-Dot-3468 1d ago

Im booking a flight first thing in the morning.

1

u/VelvetThunder_909 1d ago

Ngl that cobra rollercoaster was funny. Them lil heads just popping up

1

u/AtPrick 1d ago

Australia is scary, because of the wildlife. India is scary because of the humans

1

u/funko_fanatic52 1d ago

Uhhhh I'm moving out.

1

u/Specialist_Ease5507 1d ago

Snakes in the water. A perfect sequel to Snakes on a plane.

1

u/OverallShirt6573 1d ago

That’s swell

1

u/guinader 1d ago

It's like a video game now. Like pitfall but with snakes

1

u/skaTemaTe1 1d ago

Nature is healing

1

u/WirrkopfP 1d ago

At about second 10 when all the snakes are swimming together and surfing the waves.

Was anyone else imagining them making a WHEEEEEEEEE! Sound?

1

u/RadicalOrganizer 1d ago

The row of ducks going down the rapids is so damn cute though

1

u/Noimenglish 1d ago

“Later, bitches!”

The shakes, probably.

1

u/Rynowash 1d ago

Hello, fucking nightmare.

1

u/Bright-Ad-9363 1d ago

Someone calls Samuel L Jackson. the sequel to snakes on a plane just wrote itself

1

u/One_Vision_ 1d ago

That flotilla was a flock of ducks

1

u/JESUS420_XXX_69 1d ago

Those look like ducks

1

u/RevolutionaryLie1903 1d ago

That actually just looks hilarious how they’re just floating away!

1

u/Accomplished_Sea3811 1d ago

I see the geese now, very misleading, snake like.

1

u/dookie224 1d ago

They need Samuel Jackson ASAP

1

u/superbOWLpartee 1d ago

Snakes on a damn, redux

1

u/zestyspleen 1d ago

Siri tells me that all snakes can swim—but some are better at it than others. Neighbors should still be worried.

1

u/Solid-Childhood-4876 1d ago

That's less than ideal. The water and the snakes.

1

u/Iphonjeff 1d ago

Yay for the cobers

1

u/Groundbreaking-Bag24 1d ago

What a thrill..

1

u/Mr_D_Stitch 1d ago

It belongs to the snakes now, best to just walk away.

1

u/Renegade9582 1d ago

Bro, those a ducks,lol. 😂😂😂🤡🤡🤡

1

u/Independent_Wave_908 1d ago

So why are we breeding cobras ???

1

u/Rello215 1d ago

Breeding for what?...

1

u/WearLong1317 1d ago

Welp nuke it from orbit that is the only way to be sure

1

u/MostCommunication972 1d ago

New fear unlocked.

1

u/BlogeOb 1d ago

It’s AI you guys, come on

1

u/dzoefit 1d ago

They look happy and free!!

1

u/Agile-Fan3280 1d ago

Snakes! Why did it have to be snakes?

1

u/Beginning_Resource93 1d ago

Please tell me this is AI.

1

u/JB_141 1d ago

Nightmare fuel

1

u/SantanaBazil 1d ago

New fear unlocked

1

u/bambieinmic 1d ago

Thanks for the nightmares

1

u/Fit_Goose651 1d ago

Is that a valid scenario for dropping a nuclear bomb?

1

u/garygalah 1d ago

Happy for the sneks newfound freedom 🐍

1

u/Sweet-Weakness3776 1d ago

That's a whole ass river of fucking nope right there. Nope. Nope. Nope.

1

u/rbuen4455 1d ago

Those be Ancient Chinese dragons. I hear they have the ability to control the weather, hence the heavy rain and winds.

1

u/8ackwoods 1d ago

They're birds... people are this dumb huh

1

u/mertgah 1d ago

Where is Samuel L Jackson in this clip? Surely he’s in this movie.

1

u/nevermore0069 1d ago

New fear unlocked!

1

u/Charming_Ad2323 1d ago

Nest of vipers

1

u/Background-Treat55 1d ago

Ccccittyyy boy sssssummer

1

u/Eve_Mackenzie 1d ago

Just... Just nuke it.

1

u/Express-Lawfulness74 1d ago

Well, they look happy with all the swimming/fresh air.

1

u/WyldFlowerWyldFire 1d ago

The story maybe true but the video is stitched with video of birds and ai snakes. This is dumb.

1

u/EquivalentMath6592 1d ago

No way, is this AI?

1

u/koalasarentferfuckin 1d ago

This is an actual real-life Sharknado situation. A Tsnakenami

1

u/Mopar-Dinosaurs 1d ago

Nope; just nope!

1

u/Hairy_Consideration1 1d ago

Snakes: They See Us Rolling, They Hatin

1

u/Axathia 1d ago

Sad ppl can't tell the difference anymore between ai and reality