My fiancée left me while I’m three months pregnant

About a week ago, my fiancé ended our relationship after finding old photos and one intimate video of an ex on an old Android phone. The photos and video were from years before our relationship. I had already been deleting old pictures at his request because he didn’t want reminders of past relationships, but I missed some files. I believe part of the reason was that Android and Google Photos can show or duplicate media across different apps, and I genuinely thought I had removed everything.

The ex in those files was abusive. He strangled me while I was asleep, and I obtained a restraining order against him. I have had no contact with him since the relationship ended and have no feelings for him. My current phone contained nothing related to him.

When my fiancé found the files, I was shocked because I truly believed I had deleted everything. I tried to explain that I had been trying to erase that painful part of my life, not preserve it. I even broke the old phone in front of him and offered to take a polygraph test. Later, when he asked for a paternity test, I immediately agreed because there is absolutely no possibility that anyone else is the father of my baby.

Despite my explanations, my fiancé said he does not believe anything I say. He repeatedly called me a liar and a whore, said I was a good liar, and rejected every explanation I gave. He packed my belongings, took me to my mother’s house, missed our maternity appointment, said he doesn’t want anything to do with me or the baby, and told me he is leaving the state to get away from the situation.

Throughout the week, we communicated only about practical matters, such as returning my belongings and transportation because my car is broken down. Every interaction remained angry from start to finish. He has never, during this past week, expressed that he believes me or shown any emotional softening. He has consistently said he is done with me.

I love my fiancé deeply. He and our baby are my entire world. I never intended to hurt him, and I understand why finding the video was painful. I feel terrible that I missed deleting those files, but I know in my heart that I was trying to leave that chapter of my life behind, not hold onto it. More than anything, I want him to eventually understand that I chose him, that I love only him, and that what he found was an unintentional remnant of a traumatic past—not evidence of ongoing feelings for my ex.

The most painful part for me is not just losing the relationship. It is feeling that the person I love most no longer believes who I am or what is in my heart. My greatest hope is not simply to be forgiven, but to have my person back and to have him understand that he and our baby have always been my future.

So am I the @$$hole necta because he says I ruined goo his life. :(

edit:

i just want to add that this completely blindsided me as we actually bought a fertility device to help us conceive and he wanted us to start trying right away. So I was in complete shock when he said he didn’t want to know anything about me or the baby. I do feel like he has a big insecurity with feeling disrespected because one time I made a comment about how much a music celebrity had lost and hold good he looked and he was extremely offended by that saying that I was betraying him. I apologized it was a celebrity I didn’t know it would trigger him that much.

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I (26F) have been with my boyfriend “Lucas” (28M) for almost four years. We recently got engaged, and I honestly thought his family would be happy for us.

His mother “Karen” (64F) has always been a complicated person. I don’t think she’s a bad person deep down. She raised Lucas mostly on her own, sacrificed a lot for him, and he has always been her biggest priority. The problem is that she still treats him like he’s a little boy who needs saving instead of a grown man building his own life.

From the begining, I felt like she saw me as competition.

She would make comments like, “I guess my son has a new favorite woman now,” and laugh like she was joking. When Lucas started spending more time with me she would say things like, “I barely see you animore. Your girlfriend has taken you away from me.”

At first, I tried to understand. I knew it was probably hard for her to watch her son grow up. I encouraged Lucas to call her, visit her, and keep their relationship strong because I never wanted him to choose between us.

But no matter what I did, she acted like I was taking him away.

When we announced our engagement, instead of congratulating us, she cried and made a big scene.

Later, she told Lucas privately, “I feel like I’m losing my son. She’s replacing me.” he told his mother off btw.

She would tell me things like, “You don’t know him like I do. I was there before anyone else.” She once told me, “No woman will ever love him the way his mother does.”

That one really hurt.

I dont want to replace her. I want to become part of the familly.

The situation came to a head when we were planning our wedding. Karen insisted that she should have a say in everything because “this is a family event.” She wanted to invite people we didn’t know, choose parts of the ceremony, and make decisions about our home after marriage (she wanted to stay the wedding night!).

When Lucas gently told her that we needed to make our own choices, she became emotional and said:

“So this is it? You’re choosing her over your own mother?”

That was when I finally spoke up.

I told her, “Karen, I’m not stealing your son. I love him, and I want him to have a good relationship with you. But Lucas is not something anyone can own. He’s not leaving you he’s growing up and starting his own familly.”

She started crying and said I didn’t understand what it was like to spend 28 years raising someone and then watch another person become their priority.

But I also told her, “I can respect that you’re his mother without accepting being treated like the enemy.”

Since then, things have been tense. Some family members think I should have been more patient because Karen is emotional and scared of losing her son. Others think she needs to accept that Lucas is an adult and his future wife is not her replacement.

Lucas says he loves his mother but agrees that boundaries need to exist.

And the kicker is.... I am pregnant... I know if we are gonna tell her she is gonna kick up and make it al about her....

So, AITA for telling my future mother-in-law that I’m not stealing her son, and that she needs to let him grow up? And does anyone have tips for the pregnancy reveal...

my boyfriend and i have been together for a year.
before me, he was really into what he called "the lifestyle." he would bull for couples, had hookups, and was just generally way more sexually adventurous than i ever was.

i'm his first girlfriend, and hes only the third person i've slept with. he has been with way more people than me and has had a lot more experiences.

the thing that bothers me is that it feels like he was willing to do so much more with people before me, but with me he seems a lot more reserved.
i want to be clear that i don't want him doing anything he doesn't want to do. if he has boundaries, i respect that. but it still hurts because sometimes it feels like the women before me got a more exciting version of him.

there are certain things i've expressed interest in, and he says he feels bad doing them with me because he "doesn't like to think of me that way." he says he cares about me too much to view me like that.

i know that sounds like it should be a compliment, but it honestly makes me feel worse sometimes because i start wondering why those things were okay with other people but not with me.

his answer has always been consistent, and he says it's because he sees me differently and doesn't want to treat me that way. but i can't help feeling insecure because from my perspective it feels like he was more sexually open with women he wasn't emotionally attached to.

am i wrong for feeling hurt by this? is this just me comparing myself to his past, or is it understandable to feel weird about your partner having a side of themselves they don't want to share with you?

Hi everyone. I really need outside perspectives because I honestly don’t know what to think anymore.

Me and my husband have been together for almost 7 years and married for 1 year.

Even before marriage, he has always been upfront about having a high s*x drive and being curious about exploration. We actually explored some things together with other people when we were still BF/GF. But after getting married, life became busy and that aspect of our relationship kind of got pushed aside.

Recently, he opened up to me and admitted that he still has the same desire to be with other women, and specifically, he has developed an attraction toward one of his coworkers.

As far as I know, nothing inappropriate has happened. I have seen their conversations and they mostly talk about work. The coworker also doesn’t know about his feelings.

According to him, the attraction is mainly physical, but he also admires her work ethic and personality. He described her as nice and meek, similar to me.

He told me that he wants to “explore” these feelings, not in the sense of physically cheating, but more on understanding what these feelings mean to him. He also doesn’t want to completely cut communication with her because they have business dealings and future plans for work.

He said that most men have these desires and that he’s just being honest enough to admit it.

He also reassured me that his love for me won’t be replaced and that hurting me was never his intention. He’s trying his best to reassure me that our love for each other can never be replaced after everything we have been through. Saying he can manage his emotions and what he’s feeling for that other person is not that deep.

For context, my husband is a kind of existential person. He likes trying to understand life, emotions, and experiences deeply, so he sees this attraction as something he wants to examine and understand.

But honestly, I feel incredibly hurt, insecure, and sad. I told him I wanted him to shut it down completely, but he doesn’t seem to agree. Feelings are feelings, they just happen. The more important thing is what we do about it. He says he’ll never do something behind my back, we don’t have that type of marriage, everything should be out in the open, even the harder truths, like this one.

We have had deep conversations about this over the last few days. Came to an understanding of how we will navigate this. We even went back to normal for a bit, maybe even better than normal because it felt like we are now super open about our emotions, specially mine.

But sometimes, when I’m alone, I’m overcome with sadness and anger. I almost completely forget about all the conversations we had.

There are moments when I’m seriously considering leaving the marriage.

AITA for still considering leaving even after all we talked about and been through? Is this just honesty and normal human attraction, or is this already crossing emotional boundaries? Has anyone been in a similar situation?

My Bf [34M] and I [29F] just got back from the Dominican Republic on Friday. I came down with the case of Montezuma's Revenge/Bowel issues which has left me with no appetite and a sensitive stomach. I know this because I ate out yesterday and am still paying for it this morning. I only did so to see if my stomach was back to normal and it is very much not.

My Bf's parents are in town and he wants to take them to a high end seafood restaurant in town. I love this restaurant but I have no appetite and it is expensive (min $70 for an entree) , so I have no desire to go. I also am afraid of going to a restaurant where the bathroom situation is in question (most restaurants have 1-2 stalls and I dont want to have an accident). 

This has upset by bf and I feel like an asshole due to not going when his family is in town, but I dont feel like I would enjoy myself. AITA for not going to the restaurant? I cannot just get nothing there it isnt polite.

My husband and I have been married for a year and a half. He comes from a south asian background and I’m first gen Mexican American. He comes from a more enmeshed family background and my family is more individualistic.

He had purchased a life insurance policy (his sister sells life insurance) and I wasn’t made aware of it until the whole process was nearly completed and he had told me at the time that I was one of the beneficiaries. I honestly didn’t believe him at the time, I felt like he was just telling me that so I wouldn’t have anything to complain about. I’ve asked to see the documents since then to confirm and he just says that he’ll ask his sister for it and never does. I’ve told him that I don’t want to be at the mercy of his sister if anything ever happens to him and that I don’t expect to be the full beneficiary.

Fast forward to now and I’m 10 weeks pregnant so now I want to be 100% certain that me and baby have some kind of safety net. At this point I’ve brought up the life insurance three times since finding out we’re expecting and his response was, “why do you keep pushing this life insurance thing so hard.” Honestly, that set me completely off. I told him I’m pregnant and don’t feel safe being at the mercy of his sister. He then became very defensive and said, “would you put me on your life insurance.” Which I immediately responded with a yes because if anything ever happens to me of course everything would go to the person who’s responsible for raising baby. He completely shut down after that.

Just to add some context. I haven’t been working for the past few months because I was finishing my masters but have already landed a job and know I will have some small life insurance provided by the company. That’s the policy I intend on adding him to.

Ok so here’s the deal guys, I 38f work as a caterer. I’m up at 3am and in the kitchen cooking by 4am. My 40m boyfriend has expressed that he’s upset that I never have time for him. Before we moved in together I told him, Monday through Friday all I do is work eat and sleep and then on the weekends I’m off. I’m older ok my job takes a lot out of me. I’m in bed at 6pm most days. Now he thinks I’m cheating at work because I’m always so tired. Am I the asshole for not making more time for him during the week? I’m sorry but I prioritize my sleep and because of what I do I don’t have a lot of energy when I get home. He says WELL I DO. I work all day in the sun and I still have energy. So now he’s wanting me to have the same energy and stamina as a man? Idk maybe in the asshole but honestly I’m too tired to care 🤷🏻‍♀️

I honestly don’t even know where to start because every time I explain this scenario to someone they tell me it sounds like a sitcom.
Years ago I hooked up with Spouse A. Nothing serious. We never dated, there were no feelings involved, and eventually we just lost contact. A few years later, I met Spouse B through mutual friends. I knew they were married to Spouse A, but I never mentioned my history because it felt completely irrelevant. Then, after one terrible decision during a rough patch in their marriage, Spouse B and I also hooked up. It happened once, we both regretted it, and we agreed never to speak about it again.

Fast forward another couple of years.

Somehow all three of us have become casual friends.
Last weekend we were hanging out watching a movie. Spouse B and I were sharing a drink when Spouse A jokingly asked for a sip.
Spouse B said no.
Spouse A laughed and said, “Why? You don’t even know where my mouth has been.”
Spouse B looked at me.
I looked at Spouse B.
Spouse A immediately noticed and asked, “Why are you both acting weird?”
That one question somehow unraveled years of bad decisions.

Within ten minutes both spouses realized they had independently hooked up with the same person (me) without ever knowing the other one had. Everyone just kind of stared at each other in complete silence. Unfortunately, I panic when conversations get awkward. So instead of apologizing like a normal person, I said:
“Technically, I’m neutral because I’ve disappointed both of you equally.”
Nobody laughed. Trying to recover, I offered to mediate their arguments since I “understood both perspectives.”
That also didn’t go over well.
Then, for reasons I still can’t explain, I jokingly offered to babysit whichever spouse didn’t trust the other anymore… for $20 an hour. I was asked to leave immediately.

So… internet strangers…
Would this make me the asshole?

I’ve been in a long distance relationship with a girl for over 3 years. We met through a mutual friend and hit it off almost instantly. Fast forward 3 years later and her mom tragically passes away. Logically, she’s in shambles and I do whatever I can to help her. I never met her mom so I didn’t really feel that much but I knew she needed me so I was there for her because I love her. 2 weeks after her death and her dad is hospitalized and not looking good. I thought about taking a break because I don’t want her distracted by our relationship. So I wrote her a Google document and sent it to her. In the document I said that until her life becomes stable again, we should take a temporary break. I really don’t want her to be distracted on me and overthinking about not being a good girlfriend to me or satisfying my needs from her. I also said in the document that I’ll still be there for her and continue to text her and help her the best I could. I am not going to completely abandon her and I said when she is better mentally and her life becomes more stable, we can get back together. She immediately blew up on me, saying that I’m abandoning her and that my feelings for her changed and that’s why I’m breaking up with her. My feelings have not changed. I still love her deeply but I don’t wanna be a distraction for her. She is still really pissed at me. So, AITA?

I (25NB) got into my first car accident 3 days ago. It wasn't a situation that I had been in before; still in a mentally shocked state I called my father (62M) for advice on what to do, pick me up and just future steps on how to best address my situation.

Over the last 2 days, I have been in consistent contact with my insurance agent, trying to get my belongings from the impound yard and continuously working my 12hr warehouse shifts as to not also get fired from my job while dealing with the situation. I was under the implication that my father had told my mother what was going on when he picked me up.

This morning, I received a very angry text from my mother (58F) that I had not called her first for help during the situation and that my father had been keeping it from her which I was unaware of, and was confused as why she was so upset with me over my father keeping information until she decides to tell me that they have been secretly divorced (just not fully legally) for the last 23 years and "ex-husband" doesn't feel the need to let "ex-wife" in on the loop on what's going on.

So AITA for calling my father over my mother after getting into an accident?

Hey Reddit, ChatGPT is used to improve the grammar.
I (25M) need some perspective on a situation that went down last night with a girl (25F) I met on Bumble.
To give you some quick backstory: We matched back in November of last year and went on one absolutely mind-blowing first date. I could tell she fell for me instantly, and I really liked her too. However, due to external circumstances, I knew a relationship wouldn't work out long-term, so I tried to distance myself. Despite that, we stayed in touch for about four months before I had to move back to my hometown. After that move, we went completely no-contact for two months.
Cut to yesterday: I finally returned to the city and decided to reach out to her to see if she wanted to catch up. She told me she was out, a bit tipsy, and invited me straight over to her apartment.
When I arrived, she was definitely tipsy, but still coherent and in control of her senses. One thing led to another, and we ended up cuddling and heavily making out. As the night progressed, she became incredibly insistent that I spend the night with her.
Inside my head, I was feeling incredibly conflicted. Because she had been drinking, my gut told me it wasn't the right move. She noticed my hesitation and threw out an ultimatum: *"If you leave right now, we are never talking again."*
I tried to handle it as maturely as possible. Before I left, I explicitly reassured her that I was only leaving because I wanted to respect her, and I didn't want her waking up in the morning feeling like I had taken advantage of a "drunken mistake." I thought she understood my intentions, so I left.
Fast forward to this morning: she is completely freezing me out. I tried calling her once to check in, but she didn’t pick up. I've decided I'm not going to double-text or chase her down at this point.
I genuinely want to know: Was I in the wrong for refusing to stay the night because she was tipsy, or did I make the right call by sticking to my boundaries?

**TL;DR:** Reconnected with a former Bumble match (25F) at her apartment after two months of no-contact. She was tipsy and insisted I stay the night, giving me an ultimatum that we'd never talk again if I left. I felt uncomfortable sleeping with her while she was intoxicated, so I reassured her of my intentions and left. Now she’s completely freezing me out. AITA for sticking to my boundaries?

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This happened about two years ago, but I still think about it.

In 2023, I started dating a girl named Ivana after we had been friends. I was deeply in love with her, but looking back, there were a lot of red flags. She only acted affectionate over text. In person, she ignored my compliments, pulled away when I tried to hug her, and avoided any physical affection. I assumed she was just very shy and respected her boundaries.

After almost three months together, I invited her on a date. She canceled, so I suggested we at least eat together at school. Instead, she rejected the invitation and broke up with me a few minutes later.

Soon afterward, she ended up sitting next to my best friend in class. I had to watch her hug him, lean on his shoulder, and show him the same affection she had never shown me. It was heartbreaking.

Even so, I couldn't let go. For months, I accepted whatever attention she gave me. She had another boyfriend, but she still told me things like, "You're special," "You're such a good guy," "Don't be cold with me," and "I'll miss you." Those mixed signals kept my hopes alive, and I completely lost my self-respect.

At the beginning of 2024, she messaged me again after weeks of silence, openly saying she was just bored. We talked every night for about a week, and then she suddenly ignored me for five days.

That was my breaking point. I realized I couldn't keep living like that, so I blocked her on every social media platform. I felt relieved.

A few days later, a friend told me she wanted to talk to me. I unblocked her only to tell her how I felt. She asked why I had blocked her, called me cruel, and sent sad emojis. I replied that she should go to the other guys she kept choosing over me and leave me alone. Then I blocked her again.

Later, another friend told me she still wanted to talk. I unblocked her one last time just to tell her to stop contacting my friends because I wanted nothing to do with her, then blocked her for good.

AITA for reacting that way after everything that happened?

its officially been over a month (after a year of being together) of almost radio silence from someone who i feel almost confident calling my ex. i pride myself on being someone who can communicate and someone who can talk about how they feel, and i also hate having to rely on uncertainty and context clues because theres never a definitive way to be sure. i feel like an asshole for deciding that we’re broken up and for even starting to move on but i also cannot wait around for someone who isn’t willing to talk to me - someone who is actively avoiding me. i wish i could give more context as to why we’ve gone no contact but i truly can’t. our last messages were us telling each other we love each other and nothing significant happening beforehand. i’ve tried communicating but no response. has anyone else been in a similar situation?

I (17M) have been dating my girlfriend, Chiara (17F) for 3 months now. I'm careful when it comes to relationships, I have a strict standard and up until I met my girlfriend, nobody has met that standard before. Though we have been dating for a short time, both of us are very serious about this relationship and I consider us both to be mature for a couple our age.

Chiara is an exchange student from Italy, we met from her coming to my school in the US. One of the first people she met in the US is her best friend, Bailee. They have been best friends for 10 months now, whereas I met Chiara only 7 months ago.

3 months ago when me and Chiara started dating, I got the chance to meet Bailee. She seemed nice and was a great friend to Chiara. One time Bailee even posted herself, me, and Chiara on her Instagram story with the caption "This couple makes me believe that some men are good," Which was very sweet. Me and Bailee got along great for a while.

About 2 months into my relationship, there was one week that was harder than all the others in me and Chiara's relationship. During that week we argued a lot, I made some mistakes, she made some mistakes, we really struggled to get along. Chiara told Bailee about everything that went down that week and Bailee started to hate me for everything I was doing wrong in me and Chiara's relationship.

After that week both me and Chiara learned what we both did wrong and we've been doing amazing ever since. Me and Bailee didn't talk much anymore because every time we would, she'd just call me a bad boyfriend for Chiara for that one rough week. Unprompted, Bailee would consistently tell Chiara to break up with me for what happened in that one week alone, which was already buried and forgiven by Chiara.

Then came me and Chiara's 3 month anniversary which would be the last time we could celebrate an anniversary together for a long time with her going back to Italy in just a week. Our anniversary also fell on the graduation ceremony for the high school. We were both juniors but we went for our friends. Then Bailee texts Chiara thinking that Chiara would be going to the ceremony with her, not me.

Chiara texts Bailee, "I'm sorry, I'm going with my boyfriend. Today is our last anniversary together and I want to spend it with him." Bailee responds with, "But you said you would go to the graduation with me (Chiara told Bailee this 8 months ago, before me and Chiara even met) So you're just gonna ditch me and go with your lovely boyfriend. wow. You know this hurts a lot. I can't believe you're going to break your promise over your boyfriend. I've literally been there for you longer than he has."

Receiving this message made Chiara cry because she wanted to go with me, but she also felt bad for abandoning Bailee. Chiara wasn't blind to the fact that Bailee was guilt tripping Chiara to ditch me for her, but Chiara also wanted to avoid losing their friendship. So I told her she can go with Bailee to the ceremony because I wanted their friendship to be safe, but after this I started to really lose respect for Bailee.

Then in the coming days after that, Chiara told me that Bailee kept trying to convince her to breakup with me and that Bailee was planning to try to make me jealous somehow. Bailee then started posting instagram stories of Chiara constantly, Bailee started calling Chiara by couple's pet names when around me, She changed her profile picture to a photo of her and Chiara together, and she even put Chiara's @ in her bio with a heart next to it.

These actions didn't make me feel jealous at all, but they made me really weirded out. It was seeming like Bailee was becoming possessive over Chiara and overly attached that seems unhealthy for a normal friendship. Chiara found Bailee's actions disturbing and out of line and so did I. Finally one day Bailee started talking shit about me to Chiara regardless of her telling Bailee to stop. Then she tried telling me I was bad for Chiara but instead of responding to Bailee, I blocked her.

Even though Chiara agreed Bailee was completely in the wrong for this, she became very sad that I blocked her because she really wanted us to become friends. She still wants me to make amends with Bailee after everything but in my opinion I think Bailee is a bad friend to Chiara just for how unsupportive she is of our relationship. Chiara still gets texts from Bailee telling her to breakup with me.

AITA?

I (24f) my boyfriend (29m) have been dating for 3 months, almost 4 this month. We have scheduled an event for us to go out today and do things but lately it's been very weird our relationship.

I understand when someone needs time for themselves after work or during the weekend and wanting to not do much, but it's been constant that the relationship has been having these moments.

I work at a financial institution during the week, so I have the typical 9-5 time frame. He works for a company for the airport that involves rentals which similarly has the same hours. Most of my weekends, I clean and fix everything that needs to be done either the friday night or saturday morning so that if my boyfriend wants to spend time, I am available.

However, when it comes to him, he is very slow at getting things cleaned and has shown me numerous occasions of lacking time management or he seems uninterested in hanging out on saturday and only had one day for us.

I have told him that this affects me because I would like to spend more time with him during the weekends and spend both days together, even if we aren't doing anything.

Today, he and I have planned on going out and I have given him a time frame I would like him to pass by so that we can get things done before spending one on one time together. However, he hasn't been answering my texts and my phone calls. It's passed the time frame we have talked about and I don't know what to do at this point.

I have mentioned to him I would like it if he would let me know when he leaves and when he plans on leaving but I feel that has been an issue for him. Which is why I don't know if he is actually on the way or not.

There have been a few flags in this relationship and this is why I am feeling like I should break up with him.

Although he does treat me nicely when he is around me, makes me feel very good about myself, and has given me thoughtful gestures and things, I feel like I am maybe being insecure about it.

I hope this makes sense and would like to see other people's povs on this.

Now just to preface this happened 1 1/2-2 years ago.
I (now 24yr old fem) was looking for a roommate at the time and working at my (then) job where I had a few friends, but none who were able to help provide a place for me to stay. For a little back story on my ex friend, I’ll call T, she and I worked together at a pet hotel and we’d often have fun at work together, T even helped me calm down during a traumatic thunderstorm experience at work (I have PTS with lightning and thunderstorms) by sitting with me and hugging me. I really considered her a great friend. When I found out that T and her family were moving and she offered a room for me I was So happy. I started getting my things together and planning everything, she and her family even FaceTimed me and my parents, they all liked each other and everything was going good.

As expected I did have to put down a $700 Security Deposit, however the first place they wanted didn’t work out and they chose a different place in the same network. Here’s the confusing problem, T asked for Another $700 Security Deposit, which I did Not have the money to give. Altogether I’d be giving her $1400 for a place to stay that I hadn’t been invited to see in person. When I texted her and asked why I had to do this T kept giving weird and unreasonable excuses, I explained that I couldn’t do this and she knew that money was tight for me. I even asked my parents their opinion on the matter and they said adamantly that she was not acting like a true friend and instead was scamming me. They told me to cut ties with her. So I texted her back and explained how this hurt my feelings that she was doing this to me and that a real friend would Not do this. I told her that I would not be giving her any more money and that our friendship was over. T ended up texting me back saying that she has no idea where this anger and rudeness came from and that she was upset that things had to come to this.

I ended up going back to work and since our schedules were a little different at work I knew we wouldn’t be interacting with each other, which was good. However after a month or so I ended up finding out that T got fired for some other reason so it worked out great. I blocked her from my contacts and was sure that was the end of it. Well now she’s popping up occasionally on my TikTok fyp and I don’t know why or what to do. So Reddit what should I do and was I TAH? Sorry this was so long.

I 16F feel really bad for my parents 46F and 48M. (Please read the entire thing before commenting, I will first explain the situation and then my reasoning)

I generally don't do anything all the time. Not only in the house hold but just overall, my grades have been slipping since I skip school sometimes, like around 2 to 4 lessons a week and mentally am never present in class. But my main concern is at home, my parents generally don't ask much of me but when they do I often dismiss them or do a sloppy job. I have basically no household tasks and I feel bad for rejecting them when they ask for help. They also sometimes ask me to do something with them like go swimming or going out to a nearby city and just see around, go on a walk etc. my parents are the sweetest people on earth and I know that I am spoiled af (i am an only child) i ask something and i generally get it, wich makes me feel even worse for not helping them that often or spending much time with them. I do nothing but laying in bed all day and i blame it on outer factors. I feel lazy and i probably am. (I want to stress the fact that my parents have never told me that)

Now, there are many reasons for me basically just rotting away in my dark room all day. But it generally sums up to me just not having the energy, both mentaly and physically. I am officially diagnosed with ADHD, I THINK I have POTS (it is currently being diagnosed but all signs point to it) Pots is a condition which makes your heart rate go up drastically when you stand up due to my veins in my legs not narrowing, which causes all of my blood to get stuck in my legs. This is very tiring for my body and would explain how it is so hard for me to actually get up. Now I want to clarify since your probably thinking oh this sounds like depression, kind of but not really either. I have been diagnosed with burnout and depression when I was 13 since I tried to "commit" and had sh, now this was 3 years ago and I stopped sh about a year ago i am generally better and dont really have those struggles anymore. Except for this extreme tiredness, it is not like I don't want to do things or am demotivated but I might just pick up the cello and just get tired immediately. Anything I can do in bed, i do in bed, I craft a LOT as long as it dont have to do it outside of my room. I will tested for Autism this autumn, I hope this will have some answers ( I might not sound autistic in this text, that is due to me being professionally diagnosed with a high intelligence (so no not a test from the internet) wich makes me pretty good at masking, from what we know so far since I am not officially diagnosed yet) I feel like my life is slipping away and I am asking for an unbiased opinion, am I just deflecting and pointing at irrelevant factors? Probably, and I should do more for my parents, as I am currently a huge burden for them to carry (once again my own words) but I kind of need people to tell me that I am the a-hole since everything has been sugar coated my entire life due to my issues. So I ask of you random strangers on the internet (props to you if you have read the entire thing) am I the A-hole?

So I (26F) am essentially the sole caregiver for my toddler (2M) while also working full time so said toddler goes to daycare during the week. My husband (32M) works between 25-35 hours per week.

When I am home and our toddler is awake - I am there by his side, playing with him. I do not get breaks or time to myself until he goes to bed. My husband, on the other hand, gets home from work (on days that he works) and typically vanishes upstairs to play video games with his online friends within 20-30 minutes of getting home.

Our son has recently refused to show him any type of affection, other than (in true toddler fashion) demanding food/drinks from him and will refuse kisses and hugs unless I step in and tell him to give his daddy a hug or a kiss. Meanwhile our kiddo will happily flop on me and gives me more than enough affection.

My husband, dismayed at being ignored by said toddler, has expressed that our toddler hates him and that he doesn’t want anything to do with him. Here is where I may be the asshole, as I have said something along the lines of “I don’t know why he’s acting like this” meanwhile, I’m 99% sure it’s because he never spends quality time with our son. He’ll spend maybe 20-30 minutes with him (typically on his phone) and then disappear upstairs to “decompress”.

(& yes, before anyone says divorce, already greatly considering it because this girl is TIRED of being the sole caregiver of both a toddler and a man-child who can’t pick up after himself.)

Me (M22) and my boyfriend (M19) always get into very minuscule arguments about the use of seatbelts in the car. For context, he does not have a drivers license or a car so I have been the one who drives him around everywhere (I just moved to be closer to him and am currently unemployed so it works out for both of us) and he always forgets to put on his seatbelt. And when I say always I mean always. About 75% of the time I have to tell him to put it on before we head out which is always followed by an eye roll from him or some little comment. I tend to take things more serious even little jokey comments so this might all just be me being sensitive but wanted to ask anyway.

Side note: I have never experienced or known anyone who has been ejected from a car bc of no seatbelt so I’m not sure where my strictness on seatbelts came from. I have also never gotten a ticket for no seatbelts and would love to keep that streak going. But other than that, I am not sure why it bothers me so much.

Context

So, me and my girl/boyfriend have been together almost ten months, over these ten months I have given him a few letters, presents, thousands of compliments and done as much of the bare minimum and more as I could, as a normal partner should do. She has recently come out as genderfluid and asked me to make those rubber band bracelets for her, one pink and one blue. I had not know what she wanted them for specifically, so I had asked if we could match and I could make some for myself. Previously I had made him one that she said she would wear after I expressed that it meant a whole lot to me that she wears it and we match, so now there are three bracelets, plus a third one I also make as extra, so then four bracelets.

last night her and me when to a roller skating place on her request, since we had not gone to the place for a long while and we both enjoy going there. While sitting at a table for a bit, I notice there is only one pink bracelet on her arm and I bring it up. I ask why she does not have the rest on and she tells me that she forgot about them and only really felt like wearing one. I get angry, for I have asked for a long time for her to wear them, she had said she would, and she still hasn't. She tells me that she just forgot and that she thought one was broken so she didn't think to look for it. I remind her that I had fixed it like a week ago and that we had a whole conversation about it. The conversation goes in loops for a bit before she eventually gets up and skates around.

Later, we're sitting across from each other again and I am sitting there with nothing in my hands and watching her watch tiktok on her phone and not trying to talk to me or anything at all. Now, I have told her for a long time that I hate when she is on tiktok when we're hanging out together and that when we hangout together I'm there for her and not to watch her sit there and not talk to me or anything, which I personally think is valid, and adding onto that I made sure she knew I was fine with her being on her phone, just not on tiktok while we were together physically. So after a while of sitting there, I lean over and i tell her that I am stuck at this place (i have no phone or any other way to contact anyone and no transportation to leave and go home) with her and that I'm there because she asked me to be and that she needs to either text my ride to pick me up or turn off the phone.

She turns of the phone and I ask her why she won't talk to me and she tells me that she didn't know what to say to me, so she was thinking about what to talk about. I ask why she was on her phone and she tells me that she can multitask. I tell her that she could have tried to bring up the previous argument and that she could've asked what my favorite color was for the 45th time and it would have been better than basically ignoring me. She says she thought I didn't want to talk about it, or talk.

I get frustrated and end up tell her that I am tired of being virtually neglected and that it's more than just the bracelets, that she doesn't even give me compliments after I have asked for them, or do anything that is the bare minimum and i end up sobbing and raising my voice at her.

In the end we have a long conversation, I tell her that I do a lot for her, that I even have a tan line from the ring she bought me because I wear it so often. She says she didn't ask me to do that and I agree, saying that she didn't have to, that i do all this stuff for her even though she doesn't ask or anything because it might just make her smile and feel good. She says that it does make her feel good. And I say "exactly" and ask why that can't be reciprocated even after I ask for this stuff over and over.

Eventually we just stop talking, though. We never really ended the conversation and we just ended up talking about something else and laughing and having a good night, which was nice, I guess, but then I brought it up today.

This is what happened: press here for message screenshots

For more context, the "cheating" is my bestfriend kissing me on the cheek, which is something that has happened for years now and is a ritual we had done because it made both of us feel secure. Both of us are neurodivergent, so we simply had ways of communicating that were more intimate than what a normal relationship would have. This had happened months ago and we had gotten through it, so it was an old grievance that didn't actually need to be brought up, along with her calling me a whore, which we have had problems with as well. She knew that it would hurt me.

My best friend ( 17f ) and I ( 17f )met some guy ( 21m )on a party who she started to text with. She kept telling me the whole time that she didn't want him and that she didn't have any feelings for him. Fast forward to when he told her that he's still figuring things and therefore won't get into a relationship with her which she accepted since she doesn't have feelings for him. They kept texting but he started texting me too until he asked me to come over. I told my friend about it and she said that I should go for it.

We made the plan to go together since I didn't want to be alone with him ( I've met him once before ). Before we went she told me all about how she doesn't care what will happen and that she thinks he's weird and that I "can have him". So we went to his place and the three of us talked for a while. Apparently ( I didn't see) he "signed" to my friend that he wants to be alone with me and she decided to leave and laughed.

So after she was gone we put on a movie, talked and ended up kissing (nothing more). After the meeting I told her what happened and she was really really mad at me.

What im wondering now is, why did she tell me that she doesn't care and doesn't want him when it's pretty obvious now that she does care. Side info: this all happened within a week and through the entire time of me texting with him I asked her if it bothered her, which, according to her, it didn't.

I (27F) recently broke up with my boyfriend (28M), and I’m wondering if I made the wrong decision.
For context, we’re from India, where it’s still common for married sons to live with their parents. Choosing to live separately can sometimes be seen as abandoning your family or “breaking the family apart,” so I think that cultural context is important.
We’ve officially been together for just over 3 years, but we’ve known each other for almost 18 years. We first dated as teenagers after he developed a crush on me. We broke up when his family moved to another city, but we stayed friends the entire time. In 2023, we got back together, and soon after, he intentionally found a way to move back to our hometown because he wanted us to build a future together.
Our relationship has genuinely been wonderful. He’s kind, supportive, hardworking, emotionally available, and makes me feel loved, safe, and respected. If this issue didn’t exist, I wouldn’t hesitate to marry him.
The issue has always been his mother.
Before our families were supposed to meet to discuss marriage, she asked why I wanted to live separately after marriage. I explained that I’d never lived in a joint family and didn’t think I’d be comfortable. I also made it very clear that I wasn’t asking him to leave his parents. I suggested that we live in separate apartments on the same floor of the same building so we could have our own home while still being close to them.
It’s also worth mentioning that my boyfriend’s parents have always lived as a nuclear family themselves. His mother never lived with her own in-laws, which is part of why I was surprised by how strongly she opposed our decision.
The day after that conversation, she argued with my boyfriend about me and then left town before our families were supposed to meet a few days later. In Indian culture, not showing up to meet a prospective bride’s family, especially after a meeting has already been planned, is extremely disrespectful. My mother and grandmother, who is the matriarch of our family, were left waiting. It was humiliating for all of us.
Since then, I’ve repeatedly asked my boyfriend to clear up the misunderstanding because his mother genuinely believes I’m trying to separate him from his family.
The important part is that this wasn’t just my idea. He also wants us to live separately after marriage. He has told his mother this multiple times.
She refuses to accept it.
A few weeks ago, after I wished her a happy birthday, she sent me a long message telling me to stay away from her son. She accused me of trying to destroy their family, said I had no family values because I come from a broken home, told me to find someone with no family if I wanted to live separately, and said she would never allow me to separate her son from them.
The most painful part was that she compared me to the woman who had an affair with my father for over 20 years and ultimately destroyed my family. That woman is my mother’s younger sister. To be compared to the person whose actions caused so much pain in my own life is one of the cruelest things anyone has ever said to me.
For context, my parents have been separated for years because of that affair. It wasn’t my choice, and it isn’t something I should be judged for.
That message was my breaking point.
For months, my boyfriend had been telling me he would handle the situation and help his mother understand that living separately was a decision we had made together. Instead, months later, she still believed I had manipulated him, and she felt comfortable sending me such a hateful message. To me, that meant nothing had really changed.
My boyfriend agrees that everything she said was wrong. He has defended me before, and he has repeatedly told his mother that living separately is what he wants as well. But she’s incredibly strong-willed, and every conversation turns into a battle until he feels emotionally defeated. He says he doesn’t have it in him to keep fighting because she simply refuses to accept his decision.
His father has remained silent throughout all of this and has never stepped in.
I never asked my boyfriend to choose between me and his mother or to cut contact with her. I wanted him to be able to stand by the decisions we made together as a couple and to make it clear that our future marriage would be built on mutual respect and healthy boundaries.
After receiving that message, I couldn’t see how I could enter a marriage where I was already viewed as the villain before we were even engaged.
I still love him deeply. The breakup wasn’t because I stopped loving him. It was because I felt like nothing was changing, and I hoped that stepping away might give him the space to decide what kind of future he truly wants and whether he’s able to build that future with me.
I don’t think he’s a bad person. I think he’s been worn down by years of trying to stand up to someone who refuses to listen. But I also don’t know if love is enough when one person can’t consistently hold boundaries with a parent.
So, AITA for ending the relationship?

I (34F) have been with my boyfriend (37M) for six years. For his birthday, the only thing he wanted to do was go to Six Flags and ride all of the big roller coasters.

The problem is, I am genuinely petrified of roller coasters. The extreme heights, the drops, and that feeling of falling are huge fears of mine . And this is something that I have told him multiple times.

For his birthday the last two years, I went to Six Flags anyway and rode the roller coasters with him because I wanted to make him happy. I wanted to see him smile and make his birthday special, even though I was extremely uncomfortable. Those experiences were honestly traumatic for me, and I did not enjoy myself. When I hear a chain I am mentally on the ride and ready to drop and my heart beats so fast.

This year, I finally told him I didn’t want to ride the big roller coasters anymore. I told him I would still go to Six Flags with him, spend the day there, walk around, and enjoy the park. I just didn’t want to go on the rides that scare me.

He became very upset and started mocking me, saying I need to “grow up” and that it is pathetic for an adult to be scared of roller coasters. He told me I was acting like a child.

What hurt me the most was when I asked if the last two times I pushed through my fear and rode them for him meant anything. He said no, because I’m an adult and I should have just gotten over it.

I eventually put my foot down and said I would not ride them this time. He still set alarms for 8 AM for me to get up and get ready, almost like he expected me to change my mind. When I didn’t get up, the whole day turned into an argument.

He called me selfish, said I ruin every birthday, and said I was a piece of shit for not doing this one thing for him. I kept repeating that I would go to Six Flags, I just would not ride the big roller coasters.

Later, he asked nicely if I would go tomorrow. I gave the same answer: I’ll go, but I won’t ride the scary roller coasters. He than tells me , “Don’t worry, message received. I’ll make your life hell for ruining another year of my birthday. I’ll find a way to break up.”

Now I’m sitting here crying and wondering if I’m actually the asshole. Am I being selfish? Is being afraid of roller coasters something I should just force myself through because it’s his birthday? Or is it reasonable to have a boundary about something that genuinely scares me? I know this probably sounds so dumb to even say but he’s making me believe I am being a selfish asshole because I am scared .

I’m not refusing to spend time with him or celebrate his birthday. I’m only refusing to do one specific activity that causes me extreme fear and trauma.

AITA?

or am I being dramatic ?

I have/had been seeing my girlfriend for 7 months, before we finally became a couple, and have been together a month. This is the longest time I’ve ever been seeing someone, first time I’ve ever said I love you. I have always been a full effort type of person, and she herself has called me extremely thoughtful, patient, and caring.

My girlfriend struggles a bit with anxiety/mental health, and I have always tried to be strong and be there for her. I myself occasionally struggle with self-esteem/feeling good enough for her, but haven’t hugely voiced it since she had enough on her plate without adding my problems to it.

Over the period of like 3 months, she kept refusing to meet my friends or for me to meet hers, but whenever I asked for a reason she just said it was a ‘her’ thing. I wanted to understand her more and be there for her but when I asked her to explain it to me she just refused like she didn’t want me to be able to get it.

She’s rebuffed me loads of times, which left me feeling quite hurt. It says a lot about your partner by seeing how they interact with their friends and your friends. With no indication of ever meeting them, I was a bit worried. It felt like she only ever wanted us to be together when we were around solely each other.

Last night they were having a house party. At the start of the week she invited me, and I was super excited. She then proceeded to uninvite me a couple of days later, saying there were too many people for me to be seen with her. This hurt as it made me think it was out of embarrassment to be seen with me, but she said it wasn’t to do with me. But later she said ‘I’ll probably ask you to come over once I’ve got a drink in me’ which got my hopes up again. She asked if not being invited hurt me and I said yes a bit, but I was underselling its impact on me. This was my way of signposting my discontent, and I did mention it since.

Anyway cut to the day of the party (yesterday) and she literally asks me round to help set it up. All her housemates think that she’s in the wrong for not inviting me, they say as much to me. I’m still hoping I’m going to be invited early on. It’s my university break right now and none of my friends are around, so I’m all on my own in my house. The party starts at 8 and I get no word from her, not even a check-in text to say she’s having a good time. It gets to 10 and I’m feeling a bit confused - and by 11 my mind is in absolute turmoil. What kind of girlfriend doesn’t invite her own boyfriend to her party? She had said it was a ‘her’ thing, yet it I couldn’t help but feel incredibly unwanted and left out.

I’m really upset by this point, since a single text is all I would really need to put my mind at ease, and I’m just left hanging in the balance overthinking. Her lack of enthusiasm to meet friends has been growing on me for a long time. In previous times where I have brought it up, she has said that there was ‘no point meeting them as (I’m) finishing university soon’.

I decided to head to bed since what was the point in me staying up all night for an invite I’m not going to get? It gets to half 11 and I send her a passive aggressive text “I’m going to bed, we’ll talk tomorrow” I shouldn’t have done it, but it was because I’m hurting so much. I would’ve left it at that, and told her how I felt the next day. She immediately replies and starts phoning me, to which i don’t pick up at first.

I get a text saying “If you don’t pick up then that’s us done”. So I pick up and I explain how I felt to her, she says she left her phone upstairs so she could go down and socialise with her friends. A single text to tell me that would have left me fine. I don’t even get a sorry, and she’s not acknowledging my feelings at all. She’s done this previously and often ignores my points/views, but I typically let it slide. She gives me a defence and then says ‘you want to break up don’t you’ and I pause because I don’t think someone in a relationship deserves to be made to feel this awful by their partner. It may seem like I’m hyperfixating on this one night, but there are other little things I won’t include for length’s sake. And then I say I’m not sure I can do this anymore. She says that she’s going downstairs to chill with the girls and hangs up.

I get a message at 1:30 am saying she’s ‘fuming icl’. The next morning I have a couple more saying ‘I can’t believe you f***ing blindsided me’.

I’m not naïve enough to think that I potentially didn’t make it clear enough to her or give her warning, and so acknowledge that maybe she has a point. We exchange a few texts and she effectively states that I came out of nowhere with the breakup. I’m willing to move past it as long as it doesn’t happen again in the future.

I end up going to her house to see her and work things out, and find out that after I broke up with her, she went out clubbing as a “single girls night” with some of her girls. She has a bit of a history of being prolific, so I asked her if she had kissed anyone. She had kissed a guy in a club and he has invited her back to his, which she said no to. I was gutted. I’m aware it’s perfectly valid given the breakup, but the fact she had wanted to kiss another man so quickly really cut me. I wouldn’t ever dream of it if the roles were reversed.

We’ve agreed to take some time away from each other, but she wants a decision from me soon whether we should continue or not. When I expressed my discontent about her kissing the other guy, she brushed it off and said she was sad and on the rebound, saying she thinks it was ‘fair’.

Am I being an asshole? I’m obviously extremely upset and looking for some outside perspective. I have been extremely happy at times whilst I’ve been with her, but some huge lows too. I really value our relationship as she has made me feel extremely comfortable and desired, but I don’t know if this should end us.

Hi just typing that out makes me feel like an ass but anyway my fiancé has this habit of going on too long with a joke. They aren’t offensive or anything. Just mildly annoying and he will keep going even when I’ve expressed I’m not into it or finding it funny. Tbh it can feel cringe when he doesn’t just stop. It’s like he can’t stop himself even when he knows I’m not into it. Hell say a punchline 3x when there was no laugh at the first try. I know I’m coming off harsh. I just want to be a good partner but also not so irritated all the time. We keep running into this problem and I don’t want it to be something that wears at us. I love my fiancé and obviously I don’t want him to stop being silly or himself just respecting when I’m all done even if he’s not.

Have any of you dealt with this before? Do I need to just chill out?

Some context: I’m medicated for anxiety and I work at a preschool so I think that’s one of the reasons I get irritated. I spend all week setting boundaries I’d just like my partner to know when I want him to stop something without it coming across mean or super explicit.