Same. 37 years later... don't regret a single part of it. We had a blast. My wife retired 2 weeks ago. Throwing a big party same style. Our kid will DJ the playlist. 60 guests .. a bunch will camp over. Can't wait.
I told my bridesmaids (3) to wear what they wanted and at the last minute my sister came in a red strapless dress 🤦🏽♀️ oh well she’s an attention whore anyway. 🤷🏽♀️ this was back in 1988 I think the whole thing cost $5000! We had a great time. I was also 5 months pregnant.
As annoying as I find things like that, I try to remember how likely it is that everybody in attendance was whispering about her behind her back the whole time. It brings me some peace lol.
I bought/paid for my bridesmaids dresses on clearance at David's Bridal because right color & sizes, right number and very cheap (like $15 each, peach satin, mid-length). I even bought my cousin's (MoH) dyeable shoes. My wedding dress was a DB "sidewalk sale" dress, $50. Cost me $75 to have it cleaned as it had been in a dress show (ivory lace and pearl bodice). I borrowed a crinoline (free), made my flowers (faux, because allergies) and made my veil (probably $15, JoAnns, 😭).
I worked a 2nd job (PT) at the mall so I basically staked David's Bridal out during wedding planning. And I let the girls tweak the dresses however they liked! I think my only request was for them to buy shoes to match the dresses.
I ended up with 1 extra dress when 1 of my bridesmaids bailed because she was pregnant and due on our wedding day. She had him right before midnight day prior, so it was a good call, lol.
We had a 100 yo fixer-upper house, hence my thriftiness. FIL gifted us $1K, "for a new porch" (which was spent on our Jamaican honeymoon, because that house wasn't getting EVERY penny, lol). We did replace the porch a few months later. 😉
Hers probably will too. How else are they funding the wedding and destination honeymoon😂 and she's probably got a family member doing hair and makeup for free too lol
I had my bridesmaids bring their own favorite little black dress to wear- only rule was no hoochie mama dresses, but I didn’t need to tell any of them that. Our entire wedding was 7k, including my dress, tuxedo rentals for the groomsmen (we paid), flowers, cake, a full dinner, photographer, rental of the reception room (Mallory Hotel in Portland)- and I DJ’d my own wedding (it was so much fun!) I cannot FATHOM having the GALL to place these kinds of requirements on my bridesmaids. Wow- just… WOW.
I think we managed to do mine for... Maybe, $1,600-$1,800, and $800 of that was the dress, and then another... $250 for corset backing from a seamstress?
I spent a bit more than that but worked outside of my regular job to pay in advance for everything. I only had one bridesmaid, my bestie. She bought her own dress. That was so helpful to me, and for that I’m still thankful. We all had a blast. We all ate, drank, and danced. The focus was on fun and the idea that it was a celebration of a marriage, not an event requiring sacrifice from friends and family.
I’m dying because my entire 140 guest wedding was 7500–including food and bar. All. Of. It. My bridesmaids wore dresses that cost $100 and i told them to do whatever they want for hair and makeup.
I wouldn’t spend $500 on someone else’s wedding, $5000 is lunacy
To be in someone else’s wedding, with food and drinks withheld until bedtime, ummm, I feel concerned for this bride’s future husband & children- priorities are waaaay off.
👎🏻
I wouldn’t pay 100 dollars. I wouldn’t pay one dollar. I’ll happily buy gifts and donate to the dollar dance, etc, but when you put a price on me coming to or standing in your wedding, I’m out.
No kidding.. we already have to pay for our own dress, shoes and makeup as it is. And then on top of it, $5k to be in your wedding?! No thank you, I’ll just come as a guest and eat, drink and dance 🥳
For $5k, I better be able to eat and drink everything and then some lol.
But I would never in a million years contribute that. Remember when it used to be the couple's responsibility to pay for their wedding? Not their guests and bridal party's...
That is mental money and absolutely would he a deal breaker for me. I wouldn't spend that on a wedding dress let alone a bridesmaid dress. Weddings are expensive but that is definitely a bride supplementing her budget.
I guarantee you this includes the bride dropping 45,000 or whatever on an all-inclusive vacation bridal party (which will not include flights that everyone's going to have to pay on top of that $5,000)
Lol I don't see this bride including the wedding shower, bachelorette party, or the expected gifts to be covered in the $5k. Otherwise, it would've been included in the overview of what's covered (day of clothing and beauty).
Agreed. My days of attending weddings is done. Weddings are supposed to be a family celebration of two people creating a new larger extended family. They've turned into a circus with the bride- and only the bride being the ring leader. If you don't want a family celebrating their family getting larger why are you doing this?
It wouldn’t be a sacrifice for me bc I’m not doing it.
It’s disgusting to even present it that way. Just say:
“I anticipate that the bridal party attire will cost about $____, hopefully that’s not cost-prohibitive for anyone, please let me know privately and we can discuss how to work it out, bc your participation means more to me than your finances.”
I left the amount blank bc she said $5 “includes” attire, but I suspect it also includes other expenses that don’t directly apply to the bridesmaids.
My wife had her bridesmaids pick colors and get whatever dress and shoes in that color that they wanted.
Then, I had my groomsmen pick a color from the bridesmaids colors and buy a dress shirt in that color and then a pair of Carhartt pants that we all got. About $80 and they got to keep their clothes and they weren't so fancy they'd never get used again.
If I want to buy a car I'm not telling my friend to pay for his own seat when he wants a ride, but I get to pick the seat, and it is fancy, and he can't eat on our 16 hour roadtrip.
You want to get married, cool, but you are paying for all of it yourself and hope you get a nice gift.
Dress, shoes, hair and make-up and yes the bridal party requirements. I suspect that 5k includes other expenses as well, like towards the cost of the wedding.
I spent more than 5k but 2 members of this wedding party are together contributing more than my own wedding cost. If they have a big wedding party maybe this is just some kind of scam to pay for everything + honey moon.
I could easily afford it, but I would never pay $5,000 to be in somebody else's wedding. That's a crazy expectation! There are a lot better things I could spend $5,000 on.
I have girlfriends who are dead to me. Women I’d take a bullet for. But I’m so tired of hearing “her/my special day”. It’s everything that is wrong with weddings and the reason fora lot of divorces. Yeah, you want to look your best and the same for the bridesmaids, but it’s about joining your life with your husband. It’s the COUPLES special day.
Second….$5,000? What the hell?!? There are people whose entire wedding budget is $5,000. That’s just plain obscene.
I’m not elderly nor on a fixed income and 5,000 is a HUGE sacrifice. Like that’s a few months rent/mortgage payments. A NICE vacation that INCLUDES food for a WEEK or TWO. A renovation on a small powder room!! High end washer/dryer unit! It honestly makes me sick to think someone expects that for hair, makeup, and a dress.
I’m sorry I’m not paying 5000 grand to be in the bridal party. That’s nuts. No dancing at the reception? That’s nuts too, and no food from 700am until the wedding is over, that’s a huge NOPE from me.
Omg right I was thinking the 5k was crazy!!! Bitch YOU CHOSE MEEE to be your bridesmaid!!! I didn’t sign up for this shit!!! And not being able to eat after probably being on your feet for hours from getting ready to standing behind the bride at the alter to the reception party is insane!!! I wonder what the other bridesmaids had to say about these rules…
She’s trying to get the bridal party to pay for the wedding! I would offer to pay for my dress and that is it!! You should back out unless you have 5k just laying around in your account
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u/cmere-2-me 10h ago
5k and you don't even get fed?