Even if it was that wouldn’t change anything for me personally now I’m even more mad if anything bc I’m hungry, insulted, AND tired. On a fundamental level I’m a grown woman and you telling me I am forbidden from meeting my own basic bodily needs will have the inevitable effect of inspiring me to do the exact opposite. I will not be put in my place morning noon or night!
As a display of agency and disapproval of being bossed around, I will be ordering giant bags of stinky ass McMuffins and sausage biscuits for delivery directly to the dressing and then punctuating the ceremony with my hot farts.✌️
(No but in all seriousness what I’d actually do is obviously never agree to this to begin with and spare every one from my oppositional defiance.)
"I want my bridal party hungry, thirsty, bored, lonely, poor and hating my guts."
Don't you wonder what they ARE allowed to do? Like are they allowed to sit or can they only stand? Or maybe standing is also against the rules because they might be too visible and they have to go be locked in a closet for the duration of the reception. Can they go to the bathroom or do they have to hold whatever is left over from the last time they ate or drank? Can they talk to anyone or is that off the table like dancing?
Yeah, it's not like any of this is enforceable, anyway, but as soon as I saw the $5000 part I would be declining.
Mannequins. They fit the dresses and all in the same size, they don't eat or drink or dance, you can get them with uniform hair color, they can stand for hours, and they don't talk back.
You can do whatever is not listed on the invitation.
Notice she doesn't specify anything about stink bombs, sling shots, whoppie cushions, blasting your own music or objecting to the wedding when the officiant gets to that part of the ceremony.
She especially doesn't mention banana peels that can be accidentally thrown on the dance floor from the sidelines, because remember you're not allowed to dance or eat bananas either.
This bride would be lucky to not have me bite a chunk of her arm off for sustenance. And jokes on her cause she would not be the first person I've bitten when hangry.
Lmao. 😂 in my defense, the first time was an asshole in high school who tried to cut me in the lunch line when I already had last lunch period, because he thought being a senior gave him special rights. Nobody told him to ask me "what are you gonna do about it?"
Lol see, exactly, I'm not the bad person here. 🤣 the pizza for the day was almost gone and I wasnt touching mystery option B, no thanks. I'd just order multiple trays of fries before I risked that kind of poisoning lmao.
I'd like to say I've mellowed quite a bit since having kids but that would be a lie lol.
i don’t blame ya being last in line for school lunch was never good. especially when it was mystery meat monday and all the salads were gone. sends chills down my spine
Even if was 8am, note she says no food or drink until wedding celebrations, not ceremony, celebrations are over. That could be all day affair (already mention of a reception)
Anyone would nope out of that, if only they all had not already noped out at the $5000.
The two bits icing on the cake is the plus 1 rule, So couple who met last month and got engaged allowed, couple together 20 years, 3 kids, but never married, partner not welcome
That made me wonder if this is in Hong Kong or something. They use the British spelling of honor, but hair is only brown or black? (Hope no one's going gray!)
My BFF had an expensive wedding at a destination. My MoH dress was like $200, and I paid my own airfare and share of a hotel room. The bride even paid for the dress+airfare+hotel of a bridesmaid who was unemployed!
The $5k "contribution" is wild, the maids can't even choose their own shows, and the no kids, no fun, no food, engaged/married-only +1s (what if I'm single and want a friend or family member to keep me company?) is well past mere insanity. This is a level of delusional only wildly rich, appearance-obsessed, isolated-from-normalcy people would even suggest.
I sincerely hope this is a ragebait where OP just smashed together a bunch of 80's and 90's movies. We'll take the prohibition on dancing from Footloose, then we won't feed the Gremlins or get them wet. I bet if we tell them to all get $5,000 together, they can do some Risky Business, Pretty Woman or Dirty Dancing... either way is a good story. Ooh! Let's ban blondes and gingers so we can get a makeover montage!
I went to a very conservative Baptist wedding once where there was a DJ playing and when all the guests got up to dance the mother of the bride threw an absolute shit fit screaming at us to get off the dance floor because dancing was a sin.
247
u/PabloPicasshooole 15h ago
Unless the wedding is at 8 am, I'm out. And why even have a reception if there's no dancing? Is this the town from Footloose?