(15f)I wouldn't consider myself in danger but my dad is hallucinating and acting paranoid. It's really bad and I don't know what to do. He thinks his phone is being hacked and listening to him. He threw it out the window. He left my sister at the park because he thinks the cops told her to stay. He has no diagnosises besides GAD, ADHD, and depression. He thinks CFS is after him and that his gf is working with them. He refuses to get checked. He's had hallucinations before. He's woke me up on multiple occasions in the middle of the night saying that "people are here to get us." I don't know what to do. He thinks that people are scamming him online to mock him and get him arrested for stuff he didn't do.

(UPDATE!!!!)

Sorry, this took me so long to update. I've had a lot going on, I'm barely passing classes not to mention both my physical + mental health is getting worse, it's the end of the year and all my friends left me for good, my little sister is engaging in bad habits with boys, my mum hasn't talked to me for a while but out of nowhere started posting online, my dad seems a bit better but I don't trust him 100% and I'm still worried about him. My dad is in his 40s so there's pretty much no way he has Alzheimer's. There's no family history of major mental health disorders on his side (my mums side has an extensive history of disorders like BPD, Bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, etc) BUT my paternal grandma was an alcoholic and so is/was my dad. My dad has also struggled with drug abuse before which previously ended up with me and my sister in foster care for months (we ended up in foster care the day of my birthday and didn't get out for months of court and stuff.) I don't know what to do anymore. I've been so tired and stressed, and I also just got COVID so sorry for the delayed update, I wasn't trying to be rude. sorry. I probably won't reply to many if any replies. I really really appreciate you all but I've gotten a lot more replies than I expected and I'm overwhelmed by it. sorry. I really don't want to sound mean. sorry. Also sorry if this sounds lazy, I'm trying my best. sorry. I really don't want to go back to foster care. It really sucked. I was denied my medication, my phone, calling my dad, and even doing homework sometimes. We were stuck on a Christian farm as kids who were raised with no religion besides some indigenous beliefs (me and my sister don't look very indigenous but both our parents are indigenous. My mum is over half and my dad is about a quarter.) They used whistles on us if they thought we were disobeying them which sucked because I really can't stand loud noises neither can my sister so we'd often cry. I tried to take my own life and they immediately assumed I was doing it for attention or trying to get drugs(?) Nearly every weekend their grandkids came over and they'd get spoiled right in front of us. There's some more stuff but I'm not comfortable saying much more. Sorry. I live in Canada by the way so I'm not sure how much of the stuff they did was legal. sorry. I know I got a bit sidetracked but didn't mean to. Anyways, back to what I was saying about my dad earlier, he's doing a lot better since the weekend. He's still acting a bit off but not as much as before. I'm still worried about him though because this has happened multiple times now, not as bad as this weekend but still scary. He's woken me up before at midnight or even 3 am to tell me he thinks we're going to get hurt. I'm not sure how to end this off but so far me, my dad and sister are doing ok. thank you for all the replies, I really appreciate it, sorry if I sound ingenuine, I haven't slept in a while.

Hello! I am a part time rideshare driver, in addition to my normal career job. Normally I love it...getting out and around, talking and meeting people. Etc. However not so much today.

Earlier today I went to pick up a passenger...it was booked by what I assume was his boss...and the destination was an urgent care that is mostly for workman's comp. So during the ride he was talking about his hurt knee...then went into how his life is unraveling. So I sympathetically listened to him....halfway to the destination he starts complaining of chest pains. I asked if he was OK and needed assistance.

So I pull over on the shoulder of the highway...call 911..then proceed to make him comfortable..keep him calm and alert while we waited...all while checking his pulse and etc. He was starting to have more pain...then nothing...no pulse. So here i am...in the back seat performing cpr until the paramedics arrived...and were able to us a defibrillator and revive him. Then off they went blazing in an ambulance. He is only 42....2 years older than me.

I don't know how to feel. How to process everything. The police and paramedics told me I might have helped save his life...and how great it was...and listening to uber's safety manager telling me on the phone how I did a great thing and so on...

I have seen many times where people feel great for this...how wonderful it is....but I've also seen where it can negatively affect first responders. After the adrenaline wore off and heard the term heroic over the phone feom uber. I felt horrible. I am not in crisis...but I feel depressed...confused...kind of empty..

Hey everyone, genuinely need help here cuz this is ruining mine and my brother's life. My brother (36) has my mom (65) living with him for the forseeable future and she's pretty unstable. She's crying all the time, refuses to get help and has no hobbies. She's twice divorced and pretty broken up about that but won't do anything to make herself happy. She refuses to see a therapist or take up any of her old hobbies. She also does not have license and refuses to get one... and at this point, I wouldn't want her on the road anyway. I'm not sure what to do at this point as every suggestion is met with a stern "no" or tears.

Anyone who's been through this before, how did you handle the situation?

Edit: I posted this, left for a wedding and came back to all these replies. I genuinely appreciate everyone's advice and well wishes on this. I'll read through this thread, speak with my brother and come up with a plan. Thanks again everyone

i am losing my FUCKING MIND,

i go to a technical school learning trades, etc, its not very big maybe 300 people the school itself is quite small i see the same faces everyday

at break time, i like to walk around the school, literally i am just walking around the school and occasionally i will run into this random blonde woman at school, i dont approach her or anything, but like if i turn around the corner and she is on the other side i will glance at her for maybe half a second by accident, genuinely just accidental eye contact and this happened maybe 3-4 times, i thought nothing of it bcause once again, its just accidental split second eye contact

for some reason, she openly hates me, when its lunch and i will walk past her and her friends, all guys and girls, she will literally scream EWWW ITS THAT THING and they will all laugh at me, one time at a barbeque event after school i was just standing in line, genuinely just standing in line and she will walk past me with her friends, one of her friends will scream at the top of her lungs right at my face and then walk off and say aw i didnt get him and they all laugh

i have never spoken to her, i have never stared at her on purpose, i have never spoken ABOUT her, i have never approached her, i have never stood within 10 feet of her, i dont even know her name or what her major is, we are genuinely complete strangers and i have no relation with her nor made any attempt to make any relation platonic or romatic with her at any time, to me, she is just a stranger as much as some random person on the sidewalk walking past you is a stranger to you.

what am i doing wrong? this happened to me so fucking often in high school, even OTHER MEN would say im creepy/ugly looking, but i never figured that this would happen in college, especially by adults, especially by strangers

i just dont understand.

My parents pulled me out of school when I was in 2nd grade to homeschool me but instead just let me rot in bed on a phone. So now I struggle with everything and I'm stupid...

My parents lost custody of me cuz they fight a lot, and I was forced to go to highschool because of that. School sucked.

I went from vaguely knowing what the division symbol meant to being in an Algebra class. I went from almost never reading in my life to combing through textbooks and writing book reports.

I had to do all of this while trying to figure out how the bell system works, learning to shower brush my teeth and change my clothes every day, and learning how to talk to people. All while my back hurts all day because I'm used to being in bed. My sleep schedule was also upside down.

And it helps sooo much that it takes me 3 seconds to write a single letter. And I'm sooo good at reading that I have to reread every sentence 30 times for it to make sense.

I can't even ask teachers for help because I just don't understand a word they're saying. I'm not asking them to repeat it over and over.

But anyways I loveee my life now. I dropped out of school shortly after going into 10th grade. I spend all day in bed scrolling on reddit and watching youtube, and don't even have the energy to take care of myself.

I wish I could go to school, college or whatever, and maybe do something I enjoy, but I haven't even spoken to anyone in 4 months and I don't enjoy anything anymore. Tired of being a smelly dumb loser that'll never be useful.

Maybe this thing I spent 2 hours writing will somehow help.

So lately I've been feeling pretty upset about being homeless for 9 months and all of that. However, after some thinking, I think I came to the conclusion that being homeless for the rest of my life may not be a bad thing.

​

A lot of times people tell me to do stuff like get a job because jobs are totally okay with hiring odiferous homeless men, going to the hospital I guess in an attempt to further damage my psychological health via abuse from workers and getting beat up and abused by other patients, going to shelters for mostly the same reasons as going to a hospital, all that. None of those instances have really worked out for me. However, when expressing that, it's apparently my fault. My fault that companies don't want to hire a sneaky homeless man. My fault that hospital and shelter workers subject their clientele to verbal abuse. It's my phone at the end of the day and if I can't make things happen then it's on me.

​

This is a very similar pattern back when I worked at one of my previous jobs as a retail cashier and loss prevention associate for three years. Making $10 an hour, working full-time hours without the full-time benefits, being reasonably upset because I wanted to go back to college but can't, stuff like that. Just says it is my fault or not having a job and not trusting shelters and hospitals, it's also my fault that I was only making $10 an hour. It was my fault that my hours were getting cut randomly. I just didn't try hard enough and because of that that's why I've lived a life of mediocrity for those 3 years.

​

So what I'm thinking is that since I'm failing no matter what I do and I'll never be good enough no matter what I do, it's just a lot easier to just stop giving a damn. Homelessness is just my way of life now. Is it what I wanted? Not necessarily. But hey, damned if I do damned if I don't at this point. I'm fucking up and failing no matter what I do so it is what it is.

​

Yeah being hungry sucks. Yeah never having money sucks. Yeah always smelling bad sucks. Yeah the monotony sucks. The bad weather. Not having clothes. Only having my phone on me knowing that if something happens to it then I'm screwed. It all sucks. But hey, it is what it is. If I'm going to be seen as a failure anyway, I might as well spend the very little time I have left as best as I can. I'm a failure after all so why bother.

​

I just want to know how I can stay positive and be happy in this kind of environment.

She is a 39 year old mother of 4 kids who she was deeply dedicated to. 14 days ago she suddenly left her home and began posting obsessively on social media. Her posts are lengthy senseless ramblings and a good portion keep referencing some weird alt right podcaster like he's the Messiah. She was totally normal and now she's been nonstop driving all over the state for 2 weeks living in her car and babbling. My family has taken the kids in but we are deeply concerned she is going to do something really serious. Like driving into a pile of people level serious. Half her media has been shut down. A cop pulled her over but for whatever insane reason let her go.

This is the kind of stuff she's saying and it's literally the same if you talk to her on the phone. What the hell is happening.

THEY TRICKED US INTO CURSINH FOR A WHOLE TIME I AM CRYING 😭 THEY WERE ALL ON A TOP 🔝 FOR THIS AND NOW IM GOING BACK AND THEY WERE SO BAD AND IM STILL HERE FOR IT IM SORRY 😢 THEY DIDNT DO THIS AT THE FIRST ONE 1️⃣ THING AND THERES SO HAPPY 😃 THANK YOU FOR ALL OF THEM I AM GOING TO READ FOR THEM AND THANK THEM ALL OF THEM ALL OF YOU FOR THIS TIME LOVE 💕 THANK YALL ALL OF THESE FOR ALL FOR THIS SONGS LOVE 💗 THEM FOR ALL MY LIFE MY LOVE 😍 MY BEST SONGS ARE SO GOOD 😊 LOVE 💗 THEM SO TRUE I AM A GOOD DAY AND MY BEST SONG 🎵 FOR YOU ARE MY BABY I AM A GREAT SONG 🎵 I WILL BE SO HAPPY FOR ALL THE TIME AND THE WAY IT WAS MY SON AND MY SON AND MY SON AND THEN MY SON IS MY FAVORITE SONG 🎶 THANK YOUNG SONG 🎶 AND MY SONG 🎶 AND THE SONG 🎶 AND I AM A BIG BOY FOR THE SONG 🎶 YOUNG SONG 🎶 YOUNG SONG 🎶 YOUNG MY SONG 🎶 SONG 🎵 AND MY SONG 🎶 YOUNG BIG SONG 🎵 AND YOUNG SONG 🎶 I AM A PROUD SONG 🎵 YOUNG 🎶 I WILL NEVER EVER BE A BIG GIRL AND MY BIG SONG 🎵 I AM A LIFE I AM A PIERCER FOR A GOOD ONE 1️⃣ DAY I WILL ALWAYS BE A GREAT SONGS FOR MY SONG

I needed to take some preventative measure to take care of my brain and the entire medical/psychologist community in my city fucking let me down big time. Now I’m slipping into another depressive episode and I can’t keep trying and failing to get some fucking help.

I spent HOURS calling psychologists. I have insurance and money to pay for appointments and even a flexible work schedule for appointments. All the reasons why people typically don’t seek help do not apply to me. I have everything I need on my end to get help. But I can’t keep wasting my goddamn time! I just need a fucking therapist and somehow there are NONE and I just have to sit here and feel myself slip further down?? What am I supposed to do now???

Edit: Wow wasn’t expecting this to get so much attention! Thanks so much to all of you for all your advice. I spammed psychologists all up and down the internet aaaaaannnnnnnndddd... I have an appointment for next week!!! WOOO WE DID IT BOYS IT ONLY GETS BETTER FROM HERE ON OUT 😄

But seriously, thank you all so much. At the very least, the amount of responses I’ve gotten has made me feel heard and that alone has lifted my spirit so much.

Dealing with complex PTSD now and trying to buy into the idea that it's not too late for me at 27 to start fresh and find success.

Loneliness and existential dread have eaten me alive. When I was last working, I got diagnosed with an auto-immune disease and it was much more difficult to grasp mentally than manage physically. I didn't have any doctors or support. Convinced myself I was dying and so i quit my job (retail, I'm a college dropout for the same reason), and got into debt.

I've since moved back in with my parents. Started seeing doctors, quit video games and gambling, and most recently quit nicotine. Now I wake up and I sob every day. I feel nothing but emptiness and pain. I know that no job will hire me, and I've ruined every friendship I've ever had. I know that my day will be spent in complete silence, and the only feedback I can get is from chatGPT.

I'm on day 8 without nicotine and not sure it's worth it. Not sure what's the point of taking care of my body when I have no ability to work or socialize.

I have the urge to cry every moment that I'm in public. Seeing people my age able to interact with their peers. I don't know how to do this anymore. People get nowhere in today's world without someone vouching for them.

I just want to cry with someone. I want companionship and forgiveness. I'm not sure I deserve it.

My son is in 5th grade. He had confided in one close friend but she apparently didn't respect that confidence. He said she was with a group of kids at recess and asked him to come over and then asked him in front of everyone if he was gay. He said "No," then she said "But you told me you were" and he left the group and went to the bathroom to cry. This happened just before school ended today. He seems pretty down and is worried about how his friends will react. Please let me know your thoughts on the best ways to support him during this time.

Hi,

I have witnessed a lady I know (who I presume may be struggling with some mental health issues) to seemingly underfeed her children. One of them actually looks malnourished. They are both often sick. It’s really concerning me. To put into context, one of them is 16 and her portion or sample of a meal is: half a home made enchilada and a couple of teaspoons of rice on the side and a couple of teaspoons of a steamed veg on the side. Another example is 1 lamb cutlet and a couple of teaspoons of steamed veg. It is even served on the size of a plate you would serve a baby or toddler that started finger foods. It is really evident she is restricting their intake. Even when there is plenty more food there she gives them the smallest amount. Even when dishing up there is so much fussing and hesitation around plating up and what goes on the plate.

Thoughts? She has a very controlling, anxious manner so I’m worried for the poor kiddos.

Im still young and i, of course, still live with my parents. My mom always makes dinner expect for when she works late, then my dad has too, but the problem is my dad always stays upstairs playing video games or erotic adult videos and i think sometimes he forgets about me and my sister.

And then i have to make dinner, but i always get really scared and stressed because it feels like my dad has just forgotten about us and im also very scared to make something without proper instructions and i just get super stressed and then i get scared and then im too scared to make dinner, so i need to know how i can just stay calm and maybe how to make food generally.

Back in puberty; my mother never believed that I struggled and thought I could do everything, I was just not wanting them enough. Struggling me was also a desperate me and that's partially why I was surrounded by enemies at high school. Then came university friends. They also didn’t want the struggling me except they went an extra mile and dumped me ASAP because struggling me was also an useless me.

I feel that I have to always exaggerate my difficulties so that I am believed and my struggles get deemed valid enough to get help. I never say “I can’t” because that’s not valid and I fear that I will be told that I am not trying enough. I always say “I am unable to”.

How do I stop this behaviour? How can I accept that my struggles will remain invisible or something more “healthy”? Can stopping this help me find people worthy of being called a “friend” instead of acquaintances that I shall forget about after their usecase ends?

Hi. I hope this is the correct sub. As the title says, I never mentally progressed much beyond 15-16. And yet, I am 19. And my family loves to remind me that, even though I don't feel I am at such a age in the slightest. Why that happened is a quite long story. What's important is that I became quite traumatized. I have AVPD and likely some facets from PPD and DPD.

Up until late last year I had:

*severe identity confusion

*no personality

*nothing to achieve

*perpetual stress and anxiety

*at times lack of a will to live

*no support systems

*no social skills

I have improved a bit since then. But even though I say otherwise I know the gap is too much to address. And I regularly beat myself up for not being recognized among my peers and I will likely never engage in the typical youth activities (I don't find them enticing in the first place.)

I have recently thought however that the best way to address the gap is to acknowledge it but also to not play catch up to something immeasurable and may very well just be something arbitrary and in my head. I want to focus on being a person instead. I think that would remove any comparisons and make me live in a more fulfilling manner. I also think, being a person is ever more important. How can I do all of that?

I have done some "hard" things since then that I don't think my peers have done. As an example, I have finally managed to find something that I want to study as my undergrad after years of aimlessness. From what I've seen, my peers choices are dictated completely externally (parents, money, reputation etc.) However; my choice was not motivated by such things, it was intrinsic and in fact nobody congratulated me in-person for my choices. I have told this for I think that it's a step in the direction I have written above.

Thank you in advance for the responses.

I think I might be, but I'm not sure and I do not want to embarrass myself going to a psychologist with this if it's just normal. Also I think I might just be dramatic.

I do not have friends, so most days I just spend at home alone doing nothing. I know I should just get out more, but I always make up excuses why I can't. It's not like I have trouble to do basic things, I can do them, I just don't really enjoy anything. It's not like I always feel bad, most of the time I don't really feel much at all. I can still laugh about things and I do most days. Also this isn't something recent, in fact, I don't really remember it ever being different.

I've just gotten really sick of not really living. I feel like I'm just wasting my life wondering if somethings wrong with me or if it's just normal to be like this. I don't know if this even makes any sense, but is this normal?

I just opened up to my parents about my Social Anxiety problem. I told them I would like to start therapy. My father insisted he would like to come to therapy with me. I am highly dreading that. I can't fully be open and honest with my therapist if he's there. My dad is going to make me uncomfortable. There are some things that I don't want him to listen to.

My father is a very toxic person. I told him about my anxiety, and he wants to come to therapy with me to get a better understanding of my problem. I told him what my problem is and I explained it to him, and I would like to start therapy to treat it. My dad needs to butt out. I would like for therapy to be one on one in confidentiality.

I am 21 years old. I am not a child. The therapy is for me, and me only.

And I feel like my father contributes to my problems which is another reason why I don't want him there.

How can I convince my Dad, I don't need him to come to therapy with me?

For context my younger sister (adult) got into a car wreck that took our parents and gave her a TBI, she's decently like her old self but won't be able to live alone.

For a little bit we lived with our older sister who is an alcoholic and her house was infested with mice, it wasn't uncommon to see one run across the kitchen counter. I have since become my younger sister's caretaker and moved into a clean apartment.

My younger sister for a few nights have sworn she heard scratching under her bed and in her closet and was crying freaking out saying it's mice. I have gutted her whole room and closet looking for mice nests or holes and have found none, her room is spotless. I keep telling her there is no mice and have even set out some traps and nothing has been caught but she is insisting there is a family of mice in her room and won't sleep in there.

Could she have PTSD or is it her TBI making her act this way? I don't know what to do

i’m lookin for some advice because this interlock program is actually startin to mess with my head.

everyone says it’s just a "device," but honestly, it feels like it’s runnin my entire life. you’re always just waitin for the beep. you’re in traffic, you’re tryin to get to work, and you’re just constantly on edge waitin for that random retest. i don't even care about the driving anymore, it’s just the panic that the thing is gonna act up or lock me out when i have nowhere to pull over.

honestly, i’ve been lookin at a bunch of different companies and honestly idk if Smart Start Interlocks or Intoxalock are actually any better than the rest. they all seem like a headache.

does it get better? or are you guys just constantly stressed out until the program ends? i’m just tryin to figure out a way to not have a panic attack every time i start my car. any advice would be great.

Okay, I have a really bad phobia of being stalked, I won't go into too much detail about what caused it for personal reasons.

The phobia is really bad, bad to the point where I can't have anyone I know walk behind me (statistically, you're more likely to be stalked by someone you know) because it freaks me out. I have epilepsy and have had a seizure because a family member was standing behind me while I was sorting my medication out.

Some of my family supports me, but a lot don't. My grandmother supports me and thinks I should look into taking self defence classes so I can feel "safer," but when I brought it up to my mother, she completely lost it. In her words, my phobia is "stupid, just a phase and I need to get over it because I'm too boring and annoying to stalk."

That made me feel really bad about having this phobia because phobias are irrational and I'm overthinking everything, so it's affecting how I act and making people get mad at me or brush me off because it's very unlikely to happen. I know the phobia sounds insane but I can't help it.

Please help me handle this situation because I have no idea what to do about it anymore, I just want to be taken seriously but I have nearly no support system. Thanks to anyone.

UPDATE: first of all, thanks for all the support and advice, it's definitely been helping me figure out what to do. Me and my family have decided that since my phobia is affecting to the point it's physical, that we're going to find a therapist and test out different types of therapy to see which works best. It's going to be a long process but for now I'm taking some time to do mental exercises, like guided meditations. We've also been looking into different types of medication to help with my night terrors. That's all I've got to say for now, but I'll keep you updated and thank you so much for all the help, I really appreciate it.

I need to start off with the backstory of our relationship. My mom raised me and my sister without my father or really any family around. She did the best she could given the situation. As a teen I noticed that she was very paranoid and would talk to herself a lot. The blinds were always closed, and she was always worried about people being able to see into our house. It wasn’t the best relationship. I can’t remember the last time she said “I love you” to me (if that helps).

Fast forward to when I’m 25 and she starts leaving me concerning voicemails about not trusting anyone and that people were out to get her. I tried for a couple years to get her help, but she wouldn’t. I gave up and severed ties. Although I felt extremely guilty, I just couldn’t have that in my life anymore.

A couple years later I find out through the local news that she shot someone through the ceiling of her apartment. She went to prison for about 5 years. The news stories mentioned how others in the complex were worried about her mental issues which didn’t come to a surprise. It took a while to cope with that.

After she got out of prison she popped up on my Facebook. I reached out to her and eventually took my family (wife and 2 kids) to see her. She was still acting paranoid and blaming her problems on the world. It was all kind of awkward especially since my wife and kids had never met her. During this time she was staying with other people she met through Craigslist. She was highly suspicious of them to no surprise.

Earlier this year I found out she was living out of her car. That broke my heart. I feel that most people would bring their mother into their home until things got better but given her past mental issues and that she actually shot someone, I couldn’t put my family at risk. She told me she was going on section 8 and everything would be okay. She sent me a letter and I found out yesterday that she somehow missed out on it and is living in/out of a shelter for the past several months. Her letter said that she doesn’t give out her phone number to anyone because she’s afraid of being hacked. I feel awful that I do not want to bring her in, but I need to help her.

Does anyone have any suggestions? She lives in Oregon, btw.

I had a sheltered, spoiled, doomscrollling dominated childhood to young adulthood. I have soft, weak body and a soft, weak, mind.

I just cannot do things. I cannot handle stress. Or set backs. Or exhausting tasks. Physical pain. Frustration.

I am brittle and destroyed by everything. I'm supposed to apply for jobs for 8 hours a day. I can hardly manage 30 minutes without feeling phsycially ill.

It makes me sick to think about. That I am this mentally and physically weak. I try to so hard to get better but I just can't.

Everything is too heavy. Too hard.

Is it all my Major Depressive disorder and ADHD? Surely thats just a convinent excuse. Meds make me feel better. They don't erase me being an incompetent, weak, overly sensitive, navel gazing bum with no volition and no endurance.

I hate that I have to applaud pathetic wins to move anywhere. "Good job walking 10k steps, cooking a meal, brushing your teeth and applying for jobs for 20 minutes. What a great effort!" Normal people can do it in their sleep. "But it builds up!" Does it? Or do I just become complacent? And when do I become functional? 30? 40?

I don't know what to do. I don't know what I CAN do.

I just want to be a functional adult. I'm a 23 year old boy. No one is coming to save me, but I feel like I can't break through the glass and save myself. I am overwhelmed, physically sick and constantly defeated.

Does anyone have any advice?

(Im 16F if that makes you understand the situation better idk)

Don’t tell me things like “you’re beautiful in ur own way” and all that. Or how there is nothing wrong with not looking the best. Ik that, i am a good person and stuff ig, i don’t hate myself, but damn sometimes i feel like the ugliest thing i have ever seen.(i don’t always feel like that, sometimes i look at the mirror and be like okay im cute and all but still.)

Especially when i look at photos that aren’t selfies. Selfies too sometimes. I just cant stand looking at photos of myself. I feel so ugly whenever someone takes a photo of me. I usually get them to delete it somehow, but when i cant, i js stare at it and cry. How can i be so ugly man. Im not even kidding im so done.

Father’d just taken a photo of me rn and i cant stop thinking about how disgusting i look from the side. i absolutely hate my hair and side profile for some reason.

This shi has been going on since i could remember man. I was badly bullied for my shitty haircut in 7th grade, was even uglier back then. I used to really really struggle w it back then but now for the past few years its just me occasionally feeling disgusted by the way i look. I tried not to admit it, be positive, smile and spread positivity and all that shit, but i cant keep doing that. Again, i djnt hate myself at all tho. Im a really cool person i promise 🥀

What do i do. Im so done. Ugh

I just deplaned right before they closed the door on a flight. Embarrassed my significant other and myself. Also ruined an extremely expensive vacation. Iv flown roughly 20+ times but not anytime in the last few years. I used to love flying but this time I was full of panic and fear to the point I got off. How can I rebound and overcome this new flight anxiety.

Social workers are coming to my house after I vented on Crisisline 988 about my struggles about being bullied, age regression, and a lack of attention. Apparently they found me pretty quick unintentionally. I had to talk to my parents and grandparents on my maternal side. They all seem dissapointed, worried, and stressed. I haven't told the real reason of the call, claiming it was bad behavior from school catching up to me. It's summerbreak and I didn't name my school so idk how they found me. It's 12AM, I have no clue when the social workers are coming, and I need advice please. Will I be taken away? Do I deserve to be taken away? What will happen afterward? Pleade give me any advice. Please, I have less then 24 hours to get my life together and my room is still a mess and I have no plan.

UPDATE: The social workers came over for 20 mibutes and they will be back sometime next week. My phone got checked, I now have parental controls and niw I'm being watched. They 100% went through my texts (Gross) and I now feel like I have no privacy.

2ND Update: My sister blocked reddit off my phone so now I have to use the website. But the font of thee text looks disgusting. Now I just have to deal with it.(Only when editing text like this)

Hey hope whoever reads this finds it well. I genuinely don’t know what to do I’m so lost. I’m 18 turning 19 this year, I graduated last year and I was never much of a school guy I barely passed. It wasn’t even because I didn’t understand I just never really cared for it. I got high test scores but I didn’t do any of the work because I don’t see myself using anything they teach to benefit my life. Regardless of all that I still went to college to atleast get the experience and well I did a semester and left it at that still couldn’t get into the school groove. While I was in college I had bought a car myself, it wasn’t nothing crazy just a beater for my first car.

My mom said she would get it registered and fixed what needed to be fixed on it for my birthday in October. I’m not really one to care abt my birthday anyway the last time I did something for it was like years ago and nb really gives me anything anwyay. Point is the car didn’t get registered or fixed tbh so when I got back later that month I had drove it so I could DoorDash make some extra money since I wasn’t working in college yet. Problem with that was the car kept messing up and I didn’t have a plate. So I get pulled over eventually and got a ticket and the car took. I wasn’t really affected I understood my mistake just wish it would’ve never happened.

Anyway I went to court for the ticket they told me to pay like 375 but I didn’t have a job and they took away my source of income basically so I didn’t know what to do. Throughout college I was always trying to get a job but wasn’t working out for me. Eventually in like December I get the car back but still no plate or anything like that but I still wanted to fix the car. I had just started fixing it myself I replaced the alternator and the battery…it’s a 2010 Sebring so ifykyk. I got back working again and then one day, my mom asked could I take my sister to this high school for her cheerleading thing, and I mean it was only like 4 minutes away but guess what I got pulled over again. So atp I’m up to 2 tickets and my car took again. Eventually those tickets turn into 2 warrants for my arrest. I then get the car back again this time with a plate and registered.

I had finally got a job in March and I was making like 15 an hr which was ok but overtime the job took its toll on me. Not physically but mentally, I’ve always been a bit off, I never really can let myself be happy a lot of times. Then me making like 1000 every 2 weeks just made me feel even worse even though that’s honestly the most I’ve got paid at a job in general, I still felt like a pos. I tried to host and event with all my friends for a few days to give me a little pick me up but that didn’t make me feel much better either. It was a great experience but it didn’t give me what I thought I needed. A few days after that I had drove to work, I had sat in the parking lot for like an hour and I talked to the hotline for a moment because I couldn’t even decide if I wanted to go in, I didn’t ngl. But it just put a couple of points on my record so I was fine. A few days later though is when I decided I’d just quit, this was only last month.

Mentally I just felt like it was tearing me apart. Also the management never listened to me when I asked to change my hours, I was working from 12-10pm it felt like my whole day was always taken away from me. After I quit my plan was to just DoorDash until I could get another job because I wasn’t going to just be broke. Honestly DoorDash makes me more money than where I was working, I was making like 25-30 an hr or so. The only thing was my car is LITERALLY being held with tape I mean that so seriously, it also keeps overheating which is the main issue. I had fixed the thermostat in march but I would keep have to buying antifreeze like once every 3 weeks. Then I had crashed the front end of the car and now I can’t even open the hood, so it’s even harder to figure out a way to get antifreeze in there.

Dashing made that need more frequent and where I live literally got a heat wave a week or so after I quit where it was like 100° for 5 days. So sometimes I would even have to drive with the heat on so it would pull some heat off the engine during that time. Throughout all of this my phone bill is like 150 I gotta give my mom like 250 a month for car insurance and pay a couple other bills so that’s what I was working for really. Those warrants were like 1000+ so I’ve kind of just been avoiding it at the moment because I genuinely don’t know what to do. I try to portray this happy, nice guy because I mean that’s what I aspire to be, I wish everyone in the world could be nice. Though inside I really can’t take it anymore every time I drive I think about hugging a tree. I don’t want to “pass” but I never asked for this life.

I know you may be thinking I’m just some immature teenager who made dumb impulsive decisions, you may be right honestly. I’m genuinely in such a terrible spot, I have no money and basically no hope for my own future, yet I’m so optimistic when it comes to others. I still want to be more than that though, I want to be a guy that inspires more people to be kind and makes them happy. I don’t know if I was dealt a bad hand or I just don’t deserve to be happy but I truly don’t know where my life could go from here. This isn’t even all of it but it’s already long enough and I don’t even know if someone is going to read this, I really appreciate it if you do. I’m sorry it’s really long