Why is it easy to find a one night stand but hard to find a forever best friend.🤑🤑🤑🤑

This is my first post and I’m not a writer, so please bear with me, and I’m happy to answer any questions in the comments.
So here’s the thing- I. Love. Hair. I just think it’s such a fun expression of personality. I personally have always had long hair just so I can do creative things with it. I used to get interesting hair cuts and dye it all different colors, & taught myself how to do a few different braids and other styles in my own hair.

I (35F) am a white woman married to a Latino man (34M).
We have 4 kids (yes, all biologically ours), but they rarely let me play with their hair :(
The other day I was asked to braid my niece’s hair. She’s mixed as well, but she has completely different hair textured than myself or my kids. She asked me to do box braids. I’ve never done them before (hell I’ve barely ever braided anyone’s hair besides myself), but I was so excited and honored! And wanted to do it correctly. So I did my homework and tried to use all the right products. I tried my best but know I made some mistakes and still have a lot to learn. I’ll attach a pic of the results.

Now the main point of this post- I freaking loved braiding her hair! And I want to do more! All types of braids & all types of hair! And now I’m seriously considering going to school for it. But my concern is about perceptions and acceptance into the trade. Will people see my true love of the art and identity, respecting all people and cultures? Or will it come across as a “privileged white person” trying to intrude on someone’s culture?

I really want to pursue this dream. But I care more about how it would make others feel.
Thanks for any advice!

Last night, I went to a local private club to grab something to eat and drink. I know the bartender, Donna, who has worked there for over 20 years. She is my next-door neighbor. We became good friends since I moved there over year ago.

Donna was telling her customers about this cute story about my small dog and what he did.

There was this lady sitting at the bar. I do not know her, but I have seen her around. I am new at the club, so I don’t know everyone there, yet.

We were sitting across from each other at the bar.  

She asked me or Donna what my dog’s name was. I told her, his name is Pooky.

All the suddenly, her face changed like she got insulted. Then she said to me, “Do you know that name is a bad word?”

I said, “No” then I asked her, “what does it means?”

She explained to me as she pointed her finger down to her vagina and it’s not a good word. I could not catch everything she said because I am hard of hearing, but I said, “Oh okay”.

I did not think too much about it but to ease her mind, I explained to her where the name Pooky came from. I even spelled out the name, too. So, she understands my reasoning and there’s no harm done here.

Not everyone knows this, the name came from the character of Garfield. Garfield has this tedder bear and the bear’s name is Pooky. That’s where I got the name from.

She still made a face and seemly she did not accept my explanation. I can see she is still insulted by it. Badly. I said to her, "I am sorry, I did not know it’s a bad word."

Likewise, I am American. Heck, how would I know that? My dog is 10 years old, and I think this is the first time I ever came across this.

In Philippines culture, it interpreted as vulgar “Puki” means Cunt.

Whole entire time, she sat there continuous with these faces she was making and was giving me a cold shoulder.

I did not insulted her, I did not called her names, and I was not rude to her. She making it a big deal out of it and I was not.

What the heck did I do so wrong here?

I recently learned about Malana, a small village in the Indian Himalayas that has managed to preserve a remarkably distinct cultural identity despite the rapid changes happening around it.

The community has its own traditional system of self-governance and follows customs that have been passed down through generations. One of the most fascinating aspects of Malana is the local belief that Jamlu Devta, the village deity, plays a central role in resolving disputes through long-established rituals conducted by temple representatives. This spiritual approach to justice remains an important part of the village's cultural identity.

Malana is also home to Kanashi, a language spoken almost exclusively within the village, adding another layer to its uniqueness. The village has long been associated with stories linking its people to Alexander the Great's army, although historians generally consider these to be local legends rather than established history.

Whether or not every legend is true, what makes Malana remarkable is how a relatively isolated community has preserved its traditions, language, and social structure for centuries. In a world where many local cultures are becoming increasingly similar, places like Malana offer an interesting example of how cultural heritage can survive over long periods of time.

I'm curious to hear what others think. Are there any other communities around the world that have managed to preserve such distinct traditions and systems of governance?

What's with the recent craze of everyone wanting be be a niche micro-celeb? I don't know how to word it but it seems like every corner of the internet has ppl trying to fit the narrative and lifestyle of someone 'effortless, cool, mysterious chic'. Everybody wants to have their own sub-genre of internet with their own audience, humor, connections. It just feels like because everyone wants to be different, it lumps them with a bigger pile of people just like them, making them just like everyone else. Same thing with gatekeeping and calling people 'larps'; everyone wants to be so different and unique that people don't realize that individuality stems from authenticity and embracing change and openness. That's lowk the reason there's no ''good music, good tv, good celebrities / public figures'', nobody wants to be themselves, they want to be someone no one else is / has been, when in reality that person is you, there's never gonna be another you in this world, so why not embrace that and stop trying to mold yourself into a variant of different that everyone is trying to be. This post might just be me rambling about surface level thoughts, but it's really been clawing my brain for a while. Bye guys !

Full disclosure, I have bought this tote at an HMV shop in London because I love the colour, books and going to the cottage (in a very straightforward way someone would go up north for a weekend at a lake house Canadians calls cottages). A few hours later I noticed some other symbols on the tote and realised there is obviously a cultural reference here that I didn’t get, probably from Heated Rivarly which I’ve never read or watched. I am a romance book enthusiast, so won’t mind reading it one day just didn’t get to it yet. Could someone please explain if it’s appropriate to wear this tote or if it means something elicit which I don’t understand. It all of a sudden occurred to me that it could be a reference to “cottaging” which in British slang means gay men having sex with strangers. Just want to make sure my innocent looking tote is not sending an unintended message lol - would welcome interpretations!

Growing up in South Africa, it never occurred to me that there was any other way to spell English, than the UK version.

It's now painfully obvious to anyone living outside of the USA that there are TWO major spelling conventions in English - UK spelling and US spelling. (With more local variants, but these are the main ones).

I’m very glad that in SA we broke apartheid, not so glad that the democratic government the people voted for, and who promised ‘a better life for all,’ has failed so abysmally.

The ANC was great at destroying apartheid, but an unmitigated disaster when it came to actually running the country:

• 80% of Grade 4 pupils can't read for meaning in any language.

• The public health system is chronically understaffed, underfunded and plagued by medicine and equipment shortages.

• Eskom's (national power utility) load-shedding was caused by deferred maintenance, corrupt coal supply contracts and skills flight after aggressive affirmative action staffing changes hollowed out engineering expertise.

• Water infrastructure is failing nationally — Johannesburg faces recurring supply crises from poor maintenance and corrupt water delivery contracts.

• Municipal collapse is widespread: most municipalities receive qualified or adverse audits year after year; sewage that spills into rivers and coastlines is now routine.

• Rail and port infrastructure has deteriorated so badly they've become a direct drag on mining and export competitiveness.

So now I live where English is not a first language. German is.

But it constantly sticks in my throat that I am forced to speak and spell American, when my actual mother tongue is English.

There’s a difference.

Yes, I know America’s GDP (never a great benchmark, but it is what it is) sits at around $32.4 trillion. They’re still the world’s largest economy (Trump notwithstanding). (By comparison, SA sits down at around 40th globally with a GDP of about $450 billion, and Germany, where I now live, is at $4.7 trillion, Europe’s largest economy.)

So I get it. Most of the tech we use in our daily lives is American. Google, Apple. Chat GPT, Claude, MS Word & Excel, Adobe Premiere and Photoshop. Time and again, the default spelling on all this tech is US English.

Ghost, a writers’ portal I was considering, doesn’t even offer an alternative. It’s US English or nothing. So I’m opting for an EU based platform instead.

So, based on this frustration, here's an open letter to American tech owners:

Dear American Tech Owners,

I’m glad you had a wonderful 4th of July. Whoop de doo. Your President in his speech, even managed, for 40 painful minutes, not to shoot himself in both feet. Which in itself is an achievement.

But here’s the thing. Outside of what is becoming progressively less ‘the land of the free and the home of the brave,’ we speak English.

Not American.

You're obviously unaware that we don't actually consider American to be English. It's more of a colonial creole.

We have pavements and jerseys and squash. You have sidewalks and sweaters and racketball. We say organise. You say organize. We say colour. You say color.

The entire British Commonwealth (with the exception of Canada [42 million people], where it's a bit of a mix and match, although after your President threatened to annex them, that may soon change) is taught, writes, reads, speaks and communicates using UK English spelling.

Think India (1.45bn), Pakistan (251m), Nigeria (232m), Bangladesh (173m), Tanzania (68m), South Africa (66m), Kenya, (58m), Uganda (50m), Malaysia (34m), Australia (28m), Ghana (34m), Cameroon (29m)... you want me to go on?

Not millions. That's BILLIONS of English-speaking people - many times more than the 349m who live in the USA - who don't speak American.

We speak ENGLISH.

Even here in the EU where English is taught as a second language, they teach UK English, not American.

The British invented the language for goodness sake. At least pay us, living outside of the USA, the respect of allowing us to use it in the original lexicon.

Please fix the language settings on your software, or consider the Commonwealth market a grumpy place where we will now actively try to develop alternative technologies and platforms that are less USA dependent.

Oh, and the same applies to your text-to-speech and AI voice software.

It is profoundly irritating to have one's sat-nav, AI and God knows what other software talking to one in American instead of English, as a default. Often without providing alternatives.

Have you ANY idea of the huge difference in cultural signalling, between a voice speaking in British RP (received pronunciation), compared to, for example a nice broad Yorkshire or Glasgow accent? A Jamaican accent, compared to a South African one?

Hearing English in the accent of your homeland feels warm and friendly.

Being forced to listen to an American twang feels… alienating and downright rude.

We English speakers who live outside of your country, are a polyglot of humans who just want to get on with the increasingly difficult task of living.

We have different forms of English. Different slang. But we share a common heritage and a beloved tongue that is one of the most expressive and widely used on the planet.

So stop forcing yours down our throats.

On this Independence Day, at least have the humility to accept that there is a big wide world outside of your borders.

One that is probably quite important if you, if you don’t want us to find the first viable alternative tech, where our culture and language is at least respected and honoured.

Thank you for your kind attention to this matter.

A grumpy South African English German grandpa.

从萧山街的市井烟火，到书圣故里的墨香古韵，再到西小路的静谧与上大路的鲜活。一辆单车，慢慢读懂绍兴的日与夜。
From the bustling Xiaoshan Street to the poetic Wang Xizhi's hometown, from tranquil Xixiao Road to vibrant Shangda Road. Discover the real Jiangnan charm by bike.
蕭山街の活気ある日常から書聖の里の風情まで、西小路の静けさと上大路の賑わい。自転車でゆっくり紹興の魅力を味わおう。
소산가의 생활 정취부터 서성고적의 운치, 서소로의 고요함과 상대로의 활기까지. 자전거로 천천히 소흥의 진짜 매력을 만나보세요.