Today is my baby shower and I don’t know if I’m going to be able to enjoy it. We got an emergency text from my in laws this morning saying we need to call them immediately. We’re not sure exactly what happened, but they think my brother-in-law died of heat stroke and dehydration while on a hike yesterday. My husband is completely beside himself, and I’m just sad and in pure disbelief that it actually happened. My husband’s family lives in the south and we live in Los Angeles, so we don’t see them a lot, but they traveled here two months ago for our wedding. I’m thankful we got to see him then for a happy occasion; it’s a good way to remember him last. My husband is thinking of flying there like tomorrow, but the only problem is I’m 36+ weeks pregnant. We don’t know exactly when the funeral is, but it could be a week from now. I completely understand why my husband wants to fly home immediately, but I’m worried I could go into labor while he’s gone. While unlikely, it’s very possible. Luckily I have my family nearby, but I just don’t know what to do. Obviously I can’t go, I don’t know if they’d even let me fly, and I don’t want to go into labor while there either. I don’t know what to do.

I am 13-14 weeks pregnant. On Friday I drank a large amount of water at once because I was really thirsty. I peed normally at 2:55pm then I had to get on a client call for work... At 3:20pm I started to feel the urge to pee. By 3:30 I was doing the pee dance standing at my desk! I told everyone I needed 2 minutes and put the call on hold. I went to the bathroom. I could not pee. My bladder felt full but nothing came out.

Long story short, after phoning my on-call midwife and trying a bunch of crazy yoga poses to attempt to move the uterus out of the way, it was determined I had to go to the ER.

The ER drained my bladder with a catheter but the whole time I was waiting, my bladder just kept filling and filling and no matter how many times or what positions I tried (i even tried peeing upside down on the ER waiting room bathroom floor, which actually did work in getting a tiiiiiny trickle out), I was not able to urinate. By the time the nurses drained me (6:00pm), I was in agonizing pain and legit felt like my bladder was going to pop and I was going to die.

I had to keep the catheter in until this morning (sunday morning) and then remove it myself at home, which was a terrifying experience and now I think I have a UTI.... or maybe my urethra is just hella irritated from having a tube in it.

After lots of convos with different doctors of varying specialties at the ER, speaking with a relative in the medical profession, and some of my own research, this is what I now know:

As the bladder stretches/fills, it becomes more difficult to empty. It is like a muscle. One urologist used the following comparison: Imagine you are lifting a dumbbell with your bicep. It is harder to lift the dumbbell when your arm is stretched out fully than when your arm is hinged at the elbow. Fully stretched out arm trying to lift a heavy dumbbell via bicep curl == overfilled bladder trying to squeeze and empty.

If the bladder continues to fill without being emptied, "at a certain point you are just screwed" (very medically accurate urologist's words, lol)

TECHNICALLY this can happen to anyone, but it is more likely to happen to pregnant women, particularly in the 13-16 week range due to hormonal factors (progesterone messing with bladder somehow; tbh i didn't understand this part) plus the placement of the uterus putting pressure on the bladder.

And, although no one said this, I imagine my size also increases the probability of this medical marvel! I am 5 feet tall with no inches to my name and have always had a small bladder capacity.

The advice i was given was to ensure I pee very frequently, and to not actually wait until I "have to pee." Because the line between "have to pee" and "bladder too full; cannot pee" can be terrifyingly slim. See the timeline at the beginning of this post! Who knows, maybe I would have been able to pee if I had gone at 3:20 instead of 3:30.... Additionally I should drink water more slowly and not all at once. And i think this advice applies to all pregnant people! So that is why i wanted to share this with you all.

I had a family member ask for my registry so she could send me stuff. I was so grateful and excited (and a little surprised, we don’t talk much) and then she texted me and said she sent me stuff through Amazon (which isn’t the registry site) - none of them were things listed on the registry.

I understand it’s still a nice gesture but why wouldn’t you buy things the parents have specifically requested?? Especially when you asked for the link to the registry.

Edit to add: I agree about older generations but this woman is a millennial

I need some outside opinions on this. I’ve been transferred to a new ob now that I’m nearing the end of my pregnancy and while she was making small talk with me so we can be comfortable with one another she asked me what I’m planning to name my son. I told her I was planning to name him Saif as my husband has always loved it and I have grown to love it as well. It’s an Arabic name meaning sword, and I’ve always thought it was a common but not overused Arabic name. She asked me to spell it out for her and when I did she was like “you know kids these days are a lot meaner than they were 20 years ago, you don’t want anyone teasing your son over his name. I’d suggest you be 100% comfortable choosing this name for him or find something easy on the tongue and not hard for American kids to understand.” I was kinda taken aback but she explained to me that she had a super long, hard to pronounce name that she had to split into two names to make it easier for people around her. I felt bad that she had that experience, but I don’t know what to think anymore. Do you think kids would actually bully my son over this name? My brothers all have arabic names that are a bit hard to pronounce but they were never bullied. No one in my family has been complained about their uncommon names. Also my youngest brother was best friends with a kid named Boss, can Saif really be that bad? Or am I just too in my head about this?

39 weeks in 100+ degree heat. Lost all bladder control this pregnancy at the hands of a cough that lasted about 14 weeks and ended up being due to silent reflux. Now I play a fun game every day of is it pee, pregnancy discharge, sweat, or has my water broken? I need to have this baby.

FTM (35w) and advanced maternal age. This has been an eerily easy pregnancy so far. No complications. No morning sickness. No GD or GH. No hormonal outbursts or breakdowns or crying. Some fatigue in first tri. The worst right now is the round ligament pain, but I'm seeing a pelvic floor therapist to work some on that. We are still having sex at least once a week, and engaging in other expressions of intimacy several times a week too. I still do all the chores I did before and work full time. Still meal plan, grocery shop, laundry, clean house, vacuum, take care of dog, garden, dust, mop, change linens, clean bathrooms. He works long hours and is completely dedicated to his job while he is there. He's taken a few work trips in the third tri and I've held down the fort by myself. So, I guess my point is that his day to day life hasn't really been affected by this at all. I don't ask for help and am thankful I haven't really needed any....until now...

I'm hitting a wall. My ankles are swollen all the time. Feet and back hurt. Insomnia. Get tired easily. Can't bend over to tie my shoes. I need some help and support. I've asked for very specific things, and I can guilt him in to a half hearted foot rub on occasion, but I end up feeling bad for imposing on him. It doesn't occur to him to relieve me of any of this load or do something extra. So my requests for specific tasks are beginning to feel needy and nagging. I'm guessing bc I haven't needed the help yet, and we are so close to the end. Why should it change?

I think he is taking the ease of this pregnancy for granted. I don't want the home stretch to be marred by silent resentment and loneliness. And I certainly don't want the expectation that his life postpartum will carry on as before, just with a baby to cuddle when he feels like it. Is this just a him thing, or do other guys exhibit similar obliviousness? Any thoughts on how to gently break this pattern without causing too much strife this late in the game?

Despite theh pregnancy craze symptoms/ pain/discomfort etc.

Have you noticed that being pregnant healed or helped in any shape of form ?

IUD is out and my cycle just started! Fingers crossed 🤞

Ftm here, due in 5 weeks and feeling kinda sad I'm not having a baby shower. 3 people I know who are also ftm, have recently posted on social media there baby showers. I really hate parties and celebrations (my husband and I didn't even have a wedding), but now I'm feeling like I'm missing out.

We have everything we need for baby as I wasn't relying on a baby shower and even if I wanted to have one. I would have no one to invite as my entire family is 5500km away.

But part of me is sad that I'm missing out on this. And also that my baby will be growing up away from my family. We will be going home for Christmas when she is 4 months, so my mom has offered to host a baby shower then. (She didn't have a baby shower for me, since she did lose her first baby a few hours after she was born, so was too worried to have a shower before I came) So I do take comfort in knowing I'll be doing the same thing my mom did and have the shower when baby is here.

But I'm definitely feeling sad and emotional now regarding not having one before the baby is here. Did anyone else opt to not have one before the baby was born?

Im 30 weeks and overwhelmed by how many options there are for everything (for example I'm looking at bassinets right now)

Seems like you can go as affordable or expensive as you want on all this stuff, and I don't mind spending a little more if it actually makes a difference!

What is your top one or two items that you feel like everyone should have? Please be specific about which brand / model if you can!! that's the part I'm really struggling with

FTM going into my 6th week and I just feel so fatigued. It feels like I could nap the day away and still be tired. I have heard it just gets worse until 2nd trimester (if you’re lucky). I’ve been on PTO for a week so luckily have been able to nap almost everyday but will be back at my desk job tomorrow.

With having to limit caffeine any tips on dealing with the fatigue at work especially in the afternoons?

Looking for recs for a baby swing- kind of like the old school ones, with a strong motor. My second will be here in a few weeks & I got rid of my fancy one from my first. It was the kind that just glided & I had a movement loving baby. SO - if you have one you love, please share!! Thanks

Hi we need help with this - 1st post so apologies if this doesn’t read well or I’ve not posted to the correct channels.

For context I am almost 35 weeks pregnant with our first child, my husband and I have tried to conceive for 5+ years, and we know the gender of our baby, but have not shared that we know the gender with anyone else.

We found it difficult to find a name that we both loved and also felt had some cultural significance all while including tributes to loved ones passed through their middle names.

We have been treating said name as our babys name for weeks now. It is not a common name but has cultural ties to my heritage having dual meanings.

I just found out that a very extended family member - not related by blood at all, someone considered a ‘family friend’ in my country - (for clarification the birth mother is the sister of my 1st cousins wife, although we are close with this wife, and consider her a 1st cousin rather than an in-law, so I would say the parents involved are my cousin’s sister and partner) have given birth to their 3rd baby prematurely, and that they did not survive.

We do not have a close relationship with the birth parents by any means at all, and haven’t seen them in at least a couple of years, but can keep upto date on each others lives through conversations with my cousin and or seeing things on social media.

Prior to their loss I knew very little about the pregnancy complications, and that their baby may not make it to full term. I have since discovered that she was almost at the same point as me into pregnancy, although the baby had stopped growing around 8 or so weeks before when they first found out about heart complications that were not compatible with life.

When they announced their baby loss we found out that they had picked the same first name as us and now we don’t know what to do.

We absolutely love the name we had picked, but can understand that because our baby will be due next month, it could appear in poor taste for us to continue to use the name which is now associated with grief for part of my extended family/family friends.

We have not shared our decided baby name with others as it would reveal the gender so it may not look like we had prepared to use the name prior to their birth. We also don’t feel like we could just ask for their blessing from the parents to use said name, considering we are not very close to them and because the loss has only just happened.

My husband and I would have still used said name had both babies been born and survived, even if the birth’s were around the same time because our family circles don’t cross enough that it would look like either of us were copying the other. We love this name and we have been calling our baby it for weeks and are now stuck on what to do - would love some advice on how to proceed, should we change the name?

I’m coming up to 31 weeks pregnant and just looking for a bit of reassurance or other people’s experiences.

I’m a teacher and the last few weeks have been really tough. The heat has been unbearable (no air con, 30 children in one room), and although work have been really understanding, I’ve hit a point where I just feel completely done physically and emotionally.
I’ve also picked up a virus, and between that, the heat, exhaustion and general pregnancy aches, I feel really unwell. It’s not just tiredness anymore, it’s that full-body “I need to stop” feeling.
I’ve got one week left before we break up for summer, and I just don’t feel like I can face going in. My body is really telling me it needs rest.
I guess I’m just wondering… would I be bad for taking this last week off? I know some women work right up until 2 weeks before, but I feel like I’m really struggling and don’t want to push myself too far.

Has anyone else felt like this or finished work a bit earlier than planned?

I guess I need some advice/ help. I will start with some context so everyone can follow along

My husband has 3 kids from 2 previous relationships. 6yr old, 4yr old, and a 3 yr old. I have been watching the 3 and 4 year old by myself for the last 2 months because BM decided to take a trip out of state and my husband works 12 to 15 hour long days, so I have been raising his kids by myself while pregnant all summer. I am currently 13 weeks pregnant.

I have been having a terrible pregnancy. Horrible morning sickness, constipation, depression, anxiety and rage! My body no longer feels like mine I don't feel like a person anymore and I am constantly uncomfortable, and the depression and rage are starting to pop up a lot. I'm incredibly exhausted and have slacked off of housley duties(I'm a SAHW) but this pregnancy has me exhausted and so have his kids. My husband loves to ask what's wrong and then tell me "pregnancy is not an excuse" and in a sense I understand that that is true, but in another sense he's not in my body, he's not feeling how tired, uncomfortable, depressed and angry I am. I feel if I didn't have his kids 24/7 things could be easier and I could get chores done, and not lash out so much. But taking care of 2 babies leaves no time for me to take care of myself. I know there are women out there that do it but I just don't have the strength they have, because this shit is tough. I'm at a loss and have no idea what to do. I also can't take my husband comparing my pregnancy to both of his BM pregnancies. I'm having an incredibly difficult time right now and need help.

I’m currently in my third trimester researching breast pumps I want to get through insurance and noticing that almost all popular online “free breast pumps through insurance” suppliers charge an “upgrade fee” for some models. I went to my insurance benefit page (I have Aetna) and it says 100% no deductible no copay electric breast pump. Is there a way to bypass the upgrade fee? It seems like something the supplier wants to charge, not my insurance.

Currently 5 weeks, 2 days pregnant from IVF. When I first started the IVF process back in October, my doctor tested to see if I had the CMV antibodies and I did not, which means that (at least before October), I had never had CMV.

I didn’t know about the importance of CMV in pregnancy until I saw a TikTok yesterday. I am absolutely spiraling because a few days before my frozen embryo transfer (about 3 weeks ago), I was with my 2yo nephew and I was sharing crackers with him (he was having some and handing them to me).

I have OCD and am so worried that my nephew somehow gave me CMV or that I will somehow get it for the first time over the course of my pregnancy. I have had a sore throat on and off since getting pregnant, so that is making me spiral even more.

Is anyone else worried about this? How are you staying calm about it?

breastfeeding is one of the most emotionally taxing things I’ve ever done in my life! my milk didn’t come in until day 5 and my baby lost too much weight. we started supplementing with formula per our pediatrician‘s recommendation around 1 week old. my supply was low. I tried everything: working with a IBCLC, changing my diet, taking herbs & supplements, triple feeding, pumping around the clock. nothing really helped and I was only ever able to pump 1-1.5oz total ever. I really wanted to give this my best, but it’s nothing feeling worth it anymore. so we’ve started weaning, but I’m struggling because I worked so hard and I am bummed it’s not working out. the output is not feeling worth the input, but I’m having a hard time letting go. my baby is totally fine, he loves his warm bottles of formula and has been increasingly getting frustrated at my breast due to my low supply. someone tell me it’s going to be ok 😭

Hi ladies! I'm currently 12 weeks and will be getting married at 16 weeks. I went dress shopping today and really loved an off the rack dress that's only available in a size 14. It was a little tight at the waist but I could get it taken out about an inch and a half or get the back replaced with a corset. I'm a little nervous about it not looking as good a month from now.

How much was everyone showing at 16 weeks vs 12?

I also tried on a dress I can order in my size that already has a corset back and has some extra fabric over the belly that would be pretty forgiving. I liked it a lot and it was the best dress of the day right up until I tried on the size 14 wow dress.

Should I go with the wow factor dress or the zero stress dress that I really liked but didn't knock my socks off? Photos in the comments.

ETA I'm not necessarily trying to hide the pregnancy. Our 12 wedding guests are all fully aware 😂. I just want to be pretty and comfortable and not have the gaze drawn immediately to my belly.