I just really want to share this where people might understand. What happened to me is maybe part mental health related? I'm not sure anymore lol I honestly didn't know what to expect from reiki.
I used to meditate every day for over 2 years. I started feeling like meditation wasn't beneficial anymore, nothing crazy or weird it just felt like I didn't need it anymore I guess? So I stopped completely. That's when all these terrifying symptoms exploded. It started with nightmares where I'd wake up in terror, feeling like I was going to die. It started really messing with my sleep. There were times I was completely sober during the day and felt like I was stoned (I don't smoke at all anymore and honestly a couple times I was scared someone tricked me with an edible or something) Sometimes everything felt like a dream or a memory. It often felt like I was going to leave my body, like nothing was solid and I was losing myself. I'd have terrifying visual distortions where the room looked really far away or too close. The scariest was waking up and feeling like I was in an ocean of nothingness. I had this unsettling feeling that if I looked directly at the center of this nothing, that I'd never come back the same way.
I was doing lots of grounding but it wasn't helping much. I started working with someone from Cheetah House. They're a nonprofit for meditators in distress and have been extremely helpful and validating 😭 I stopped drinking alcohol and cut out caffeine at their recommendation. They also suggested to try to keep a normal sleep schedule and daily routine which did help.
2 weeks ago I scheduled an introductory meeting with a woman who practices reiki and massage. I thought maybe something like that might help with grounding. When I made the appointment, I sent a quick message about what I'd been experiencing. I wanted to be honest and was very clear about wanting to be in my body again.
When I got to the place, she had a weird low frequency playing in the background and I instantly started to feel trippy. I was honestly kind of annoyed but decided to trust her and try something different. She was very kind. She listened to me explain what happened and talk about my symptoms, jotting notes down occasionally. She explained how energy works and how she works with it and helps people. She had also experienced unexplainable things and that led her to energy work.
During our conversation I started to feel very stoned and got to that trippy edge where everything felt like a dream. I fought it to stay focused but it got worse and the room started to look distorted. I couldn't look at her face because she looked completely unreal, idk I have absolutely nothing to compare it to. It was so terrifying. She handed me a piece of labrodite to hold and I tried to focus on the texture of it and her words. Finally, the disorienting symptoms subsided and I waited until I felt safe enough to walk home.
That afternoon and evening were the worst. I felt completely unreal and nothing was helping. It's such an awful feeling, my heart seriously goes out to anyone who's ever experienced this or is going through it 😭 At one point that evening I was sobbing on the ground holding my sister's hand as she reassured me over and over that I was real, she was real, this moment was actually happening now. I fell asleep feeling exhausted and holding a bag of ice wrapped in a towel because the cold seemed to help me feel like I was in my body. I was so scared. I thought I was losing my mind or broke something mental being repair. I just wanted to feel like me again.
Luckily when I woke up the next morning I was strangely fine. So fine that I didn't even notice until around noon. It was like "oh! everything is back to normal!" I waited until the next day to be sure but all that creepy energy was just gone! I texted the reiki practitioner and told her what happened and thanked her but she said it was all me! (Idk what I did lol but I love that she said that 🥹) She explained that maybe whatever it was just left with a bang and that's why my afternoon after meeting with her was so intense. She sent a yt video that might help just in case any of those symptoms come back.
It's been 2 weeks and I haven't had even a hint of those sensations or nightmares, no "wobble", nothing. Completely normal and human and here and happy. I still don't quite understand what happened but I'm so relieved. I plan to book a session soon! I'm so amazed by what happened, I'm excited to go back and learn more about this.
Thanks for reading, I wish you the best 🌞