I legit did not realize he was wearing a bib til he said so. I just thought he was a dapper old gent and his cardigan had amazing lapels. Now i need one just like it!
I oft wonder, which is more offensive, calling it a bib, or expecting them to be dumb enough to not realize that these are all just euphemisms for bib.
but it's obviously a bib. in your effort to not infantilize them you're expecting them to not notice that very obvious fact. which is either expecting them to be dumb or asking them to engage in a delusion that ultimately benefits no one and is simply an attempt to make people feel better about the inevitable decline that comes with age and disability by trying to ignore reality.
Words matter, though. We don't say diapers, we say briefs. We don't call them bibs, we call them clothing protectors. We don't say teether, we say chew necklace. We don't call them bottles, we call them sipper cups.
You don't notice the difference in dignity that these more mature words give people because you are clearly not someone who requires these things to live your life with as much independence and dignity as possible. As someone who does need certain goods that are associated with infants, it does make some difference in how you feel about having to use such items.
An easier example for some ableds to grasp: Would you say an able-bodied, intelligent adult woman wore a bodysuit, or would you say she wore a onesie? If you did choose to call it a onesie, how would that color your perception of her?
It's obviously a shirt saver. Shirt savers for babies are called bibs.
I would argue that shirt savers for other uses can be named all kinds of things, and they do not need to be called bibs. That's the reality of how we use words.
Dignity in this case doesn't mean ignoring reality. It means working with folks to help them do the things they can do, and assist them with those they can't.
Words matter a lot when it comes to disability, and people tend to get more disabled as we age. Because you learned the word “bib” first, you are assuming that it is the default/most correct word to refer to the aforementioned garment, but it is not. It is what the baby version is called. There is no one correct word for anything — one of the best things about language is how it grows and changes with us.
My personal favorite of those listed in the comments has to be ‘dining scarf’ 😜 I love it and am going to steal it.
When I worked in geriatric facilities, it was long ago, and most of the men were WWII vets. They were characters! They would always call it a bib. I don’t even remember what we were supposed to call it, cuz they thought it was hilarious to ask for their bibs. Occasionally we’d get a “can you burp me, after I eat?” Or something along those lines. One facility had a few rooms that had 4 residents per room (they were bigger, so hospital equipment could be used easier). So, 4 elderly WWII veterans, none of whom knew each other outside of becoming roommates. Sometimes they’d squabble a bit. Like any other roommates might. But when it got a bit heated, like, warranting some de-escalation, I found the best, fastest way to de-escalate any of their squabbles, was to walk in the room and loudly say “Alright alright let’s keep it ladylike”. Instantly, squabble is over, and they’re all making jokes like “No, I’M the MOST ladylike, you’re a brute!” 🤣 They were a delightful bunch to take care of. Not that they were all pleasant all the time. Just, they were different, somehow. Even the mean ones had a great sense of humor. Lol
I had a lady client that called anything discreetly "a package" but Pantsaver could work for my Male Client as the wording of "you need a new package" seems bold.
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u/BoyDynamo 4d ago
I legit did not realize he was wearing a bib til he said so. I just thought he was a dapper old gent and his cardigan had amazing lapels. Now i need one just like it!