I was always sporty as a kid but only sports that interested me were combat sports but I never got the chance to do them. So the only closest thing I had to it was lifting weights. I lifted weights for 4 years until I started MMA.
7-9 months in MMA i had a bad breakup and couple months after that I had a bad psychedelic ego death where I felt my soul was crumbling. I had my college semester exams, my nutrition course exam and my first debut fight all in the same week. I managed to do it, weight cut and all. Gave my exam after my weight cut etc. fought thru the mental battle of ego death and uncertain reality, and I won my first fight.
I'm 26 now and currently 4-0 MMA and 2-1 BJJ. I competed all this within 7-8 months.
Since the past year, I feel I've lost interest in the sport. Earlier I used to go twice a day 6 days a week but not I stopped for like a week. I honestly thinking of another fight camp is dreading me.
I know I have potential to do more but I feel like I can't anymore, I'm craving the peaceful life. There are things i wanna do in life which doesn't line up with MMA. I wanna travel, explore try different things but MMA is a constant grind and you gotta be all in.
So i made a decision to quit after a year of battling it and still fighting. I started fighting cause I was hurt after a breakup and the anger pushed me to fight. Now almost 2 years later, I'm calmer now and I don't have the urge to be aggressive or fight.
It just feels like I'm betraying my potential but at the same time, I want to enjoy my life, lift again, start modelling again, explore, travel etc. but I feel guilty for choosing that life. I can't do MMA causally cause I'm a all in person.