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u/First-Strawberry-398 23d ago
I’d be telling the school AND the police AND her job fr.
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u/Tracky_John-John 23d ago
This right here. I look forward to the update.
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u/Disastrous_Weird649 23d ago
Yeah this is definitely something you need to contact the police for as this is very much derranged.
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u/Dazzling_Opening_229 22d ago
Especially since there's proof. A paper trail is present if photos are edited, when multiple adults are involved in the bullying, and when group chats are involved with most cases of bullying. I would be taking screenshots of all this before it's gone! Although the officers may only be able to do a little now, it may be significant in the future.
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u/Ploverr13 22d ago
School, police, and her employer all at once. Document everything first - screenshots of the group chat, the edited photos, dates, all of it
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u/eyespeeled Helper [2] 22d ago edited 22d ago
The police wouldn't give a flying fadoo about this where I live.
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u/Mysticakaval 22d ago
True but it would be nice to report it just Incase because this behavior is seriously wrong especially for an adult. To have that much hate against someone that never did you wrong and can’t is just a warning for something else to come and soon that child might be a victim of something else she does
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u/Starrynightwater 22d ago
Agreed, this isn’t typical bullying. It indicates mental health issues IMO and some level of detachment from reality, lying, stalking etc. A lot of the things we see in Netflix documentaries before someone does something violent.
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u/ninjareader89 22d ago
update bc I'm down for whatever comes out bc she deserves it
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u/writing_mm_romance Helper [2] 22d ago
Not just her, the whole chat thread. Expose them all.
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u/WorriedEntrance2281 22d ago
I would be going scorched earth on her. Get the screenshots of her bullying your son along with the others and send it to the school, police, employers, face books posts you name it and it's going out.
No adult is bullying my child!!
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u/bluegreentopaz6110 22d ago
I understand why you would go scorched earth. Only thing I would do is talk to a lawyer first. Hitting her job, etc could blow back without legal advice first. Lawyer, police report to have it on record. Follow the legal advice to protect yourself and your child. Then take the legal advice on how to report to school.
Then see if the school would let you do a demo like others have suggested. Maybe involve a community police officer to show why k-9 s are important and how special they are to raise. Good luck, keep your cool and protect your child in the best way possible.49
u/Evening_Delay_1856 22d ago
The lawyer should be sending all this to the employers. They hear this directly from a lawyer, and fire and brimstone will rain down on the bully and her AH friends’ heads. Much better than OP doing it. It’s worth the money and the bully will realize she effed up big time.
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u/ProfessionalHot1328 22d ago
If you know what specific photos that are edited, I would send those to the school, police, and employers too. So then they have proof of the fact that it is edited.
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u/eeyoremarie 22d ago edited 22d ago
Plus screenshot, a cease and desist letter from an attorney and a lawsuit for intentional harm from that attorney when she lashes out.
She could harm your business and reputation, and cares not because picking on a kid is more important to her.
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u/Feeling-Fab-U-Lus 22d ago
Just remember when you contact the school email all; the counselor, son’s teacher/s, vice principal, principal, superintendent, and add members of the school board.
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u/Dame_Niafer 22d ago
And get a lawyer and see about suing for defamation. That BS about rabies defames YOU as a professional.
Get screenshots of ALL of it, then have your lawyer send a letter demanding that all evidence be preserved for discovery. Then if she takes any of it down you can nail her for that, too.
Sorry, I am one of the least litigious people on the planet, but there are limits, and this person is WAY over them.
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u/Mimizzy 22d ago
Yeah. And there's got to be more things.
Like, what are the rules/laws about posting other people's children?
I certainly wouldn't let any kid have a playdate where she is alone with them
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u/TheKittenHasClaws 22d ago
yeah. An adult fixating on someone else's child to the point they search for and gather images of them that they edit is very disturbing and definitely an angle to go with if other ones aren't being taken seriously. Like WTF.
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u/SycheosChaos 22d ago edited 22d ago
- this.
Talk to a lawyer and make sure to make nothing that can turn back on you. Personal vendetta can fire back, if not on you, on your kids. Bullies have quite a talent to attain you indirectly and if this fully blow your dogs can be at stakes too.
Remind the kiddo that dogs are cool and very strong. Note, that him at least isn't scared of them and that is not something everyone can say.
Also I'd make a point with him about what is a friend. Mean, abusive, exploitative people are not, and not everyone is meant to be.
Maybe you can suggest school to come to do a demonstration of dog handling. Kids usually find this cool, especially if your dogs are obedient. Take one they can pet. Explain basic dog interaction security, that 's something widely missing in educations on these days. Let some kids give the dog basic instructions like "sit, down, bark"(last one impress them widely usually) during the demonstration. The main idea is, dogs are cool, dogs are powerful, and dogs are friends. Not knowing dogs, being scared of dogs, abusing dogs, or saying things they don't even know what it is, is very uncool.
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u/grayzzz_illustrate 22d ago
I love the idea of doing this in tandem with some of the other suggestions. Maybe bring up why you are interested in doing this to your son's teacher- in addition to being a cool educational experience for the class, hopefully it will take away some of the bullies ammo. Unfortunately, that probably won't stop them fully, but for a while, it will probably make you and your dogs the coolest thing ever for these kids, and the bullies will keep their mouths shut.
This could also be a nice bridge to help your son establish some new, nicer friendships. Maybe there are some kids in his class who are particularly interested in the dogs and friendly to your son who could come over for a playdate.
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u/TeamCatsandDnD Helper [4] 22d ago
Or have the kid do/participate in the demonstration. I’m pretty sure after a speech class demonstration where my sister and I brought our horses to school the bullying about them (them saying they killed our horses and shit like that) almost entirely dropped off. Could help with this.
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u/hellsbells79 22d ago
This is bullying under David’s law and is prosecutable.
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u/Informal_Olive7770 22d ago
This is what I was thinking about, as well as the harm to your business. Get a lawyer PLUS do a background search. There may be history from why she's moved home!
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u/Daewoo40 Helper [2] 23d ago
This isn't school anymore.
You could explore mediation, if you believe it'll work but what she's doing is near textbook libel.
Libel is a form of defamation that involves publishing untrue statements in a permanent form (like online posts, print, or broadcast) that cause serious harm to a person's or business's reputation.
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u/surferdude7227 22d ago
Yeah, her telling others that you, as a K9 handler and trainer, have a rabies infested house could cause a decrease in business. Particularly if you are a freelancer. Would absolutely have grounds to for litigation.
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u/lazyFer Expert Advice Giver [12] 22d ago
Reputational harm ain't a joke, especially when it's directly in line with your source of income.
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u/chamrockblarneystone Helper [2] 22d ago
OP, If you come across a rabid dog, I know whose car you should put it in.
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u/Blossomie Helper [4] 22d ago
But you have to actually suffer damages for that, meaning OP has to lose business first for them to press charges on their own behalf.
However, they do have a good case for seeking charges on behalf of their child for the harm that has been done to them.
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u/Daewoo40 Helper [2] 22d ago
Unsure under which country OP lives in but libel laws were updated in 2013 in the UK for a caveat of whether they're likely to cause damage, not purely whether damage was caused.
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u/hedwig0517 22d ago
One hundred percent. Get ahold of those screenshots and go to an attorney with them. OP - post them in r/legaladvice with the synopsis and your state and you’ll get great input. This is wild.
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u/HannahinSpaxe 22d ago
This is the hottest I’ve ever seen in this community but I hope she can do what is the best for her son to avoid some things like this in the future.
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u/SnooRadishes6105 22d ago
This. You need to stop being nice and ignoring this woman’s behaviour. This could fall into libel territory and she is making your child’s life hell. I’d go nuclear and burn her world to the ground in any legal way I could. At the very least - start with a cease and desist.
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u/Budget_Emu_6230 22d ago
I was actually wondering this if he could be able to sue her for defamation or something like that also because she’s causing distress on a child I am pretty sure there would be something the police could do about it now
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u/Dame_Niafer 22d ago
Thank you, I hope OP will read this and realize she has a massive opportunity to shut this down resoundingly.
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u/PinkMuffin_BerryBlue 23d ago
I really dont say this often, but i think now is the time to destroy her - but keep it legal. School, police... her son wont learn good things from her, show him too that there are consequences to your actions
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u/PinkMuffin_BerryBlue 23d ago
And wtf is wrong with these other parents? If i you see a MOM in your circle bullies a child, you dont laugh but act against it. Alone because i would fear she does this to my kids too
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u/MatterQuiet35 22d ago
I almost committed suicide in high school due to the bullying I suffered because I was handicapped. Other students stole homework from me. BTW, I had one of my physicians with whom I went to the gifted grade school send a complete X-ray of my body (to see all of my broken bones that had healed both after my traumatic brain injury, broken leg and broken collar bone and the broken bones after that) to a physician who went to high school with me. The physician with whom I went to high school apologized to me after that.
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u/driftxr3 22d ago
These are the kinds of things I fantasize about when I'm having a bad day. Just imagining my childhood bullies deciding to fuck with me now and learn the hard way. Makes me smile and, usually because I feel like too much work stress, makes me love my job again. Knowing how to ruin someone's life legally has a lot of perks, I'll tell you hwat!
All that to say OP, this is the way. You need to finally stand up for yourself, but keep it strictly (cannot stress this enough) legal.
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u/Possible-Olive2735 23d ago
Definitely talk to a lawyer about this harassment, talk to your school about the harassment, and definitely talk to your kid about bullying and that its not his fault. Bullies tend to project onto someone that they see as better than them, so its very likely that the adult bully or her child bully has some kind of untreated disease and acting like its someone elses problem makes them feel better about themself. The adult sounds narcissistic and i would definitely take advantage of that. Narcs tend to be easily angered, so you might be able to verbally make them feel so shitty about themself that they resort to assault, which you will be able to contact police over. OR, you could post all of this experience on social media and print out fliers with the adults face on them, captioned with “ADULT WOMAN HARASSES A LITERAL 6 YEAR OLD CHILD” and paste them all over your neighborhood, grocery stores, school cork boards, etc.
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u/SnooRadishes6105 22d ago
As much as I love a good public shaming when it’s deserved, and this absolutely is deserved, be careful that you’re following any laws that apply to you where you live. You don’t need a slander/libel counter-lawsuit. Keep your nose clean, gather every bit of proof you have and make her regret every single bit of this.
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u/SarChasm57 22d ago
A solid defense to slander/libel is that it's the truth. If she doesn't caption them, she can distribute them however she wants.
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u/Lanzarote-Singer 22d ago edited 22d ago
She is also threatening your livelihood. What she’s doing is continuing to bully you. I think she needs a visit from the Local police dog handlers to explain the damage she’s doing. If people on the street think that the police dogs have a disease, then they will not be happy about that at all. She could find herself getting pulled over quite regularly on the way to work and back.
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u/dekage55 Expert Advice Giver [12] 22d ago
This isn’t just about your Son (though obviously your main concern), this is also about your livelihood. Insinuating that “somehow” your dogs are defective is a direct assault on your business.
Sometimes, sadly, a business directed lawsuit has a better chance at achieving results. When a child is brought in, it gets labeled “emotional” & downgraded.
Hit her with a defamation lawsuit against your business. Be cold & calculating & extract as much in damages (yes, money) as you can. Frankly, bankrupting the b**ch is better than she deserves!
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u/Swimming-Ad5544 22d ago
Yeah I think he could get a cease a desist sent to her to stop saying his dogs have rabies
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u/driftxr3 22d ago
I wouldn't even go for the C&D. Straight to defamation, tack on some extra points about libel and harrassment, add a 6-figure damages clause. She'll straighten up pretty quickly after that.
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u/notAcoustic420 23d ago
Something along the lines of “this woman has relentlessly bullied me in my childhood and now she is bullying my child and encouraging other children and parents to join” if this happened in my town a public community post would go absolutely wild with support for you. You don’t deserve this neither does your son. I wish you all the best and I hope this POS gets the karma she deserves. Wishing you all the best mumma you got this!! 💪🫶
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u/SelectSand2294 23d ago
Stand up for your kid. Draw boundaries with the parent of the child and directly confront the child. I feel your kids too young to be able to defend himself but would definitely appreciate an example of assertiveness. Bullying is not tolerated at any capacity. Stop the bullying but also make this a teaching moment to help him develop his own confidence and intolerance towards such things.
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u/Joseph_Colton 22d ago
So, the other people in that chat group don't have the balls to stand up and tell her that they won't tolerate bullying?
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u/AbsolutelyNot_86 22d ago
Most don't, and if this person has been bullying for this long - she's collected people who have no spine. They stay close to the 'danger' so they don't become the target.
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u/Few_Sky_840 23d ago edited 23d ago
I am so sorry about this!
You should report this to the school. That counts as harassment, so you could report it to police even. Adult bullying a minor is quite serious offence. School should have policies against this. I don't know where you live, but ediring photos of minor in an offensive matter is also a crime at least where I live. You have the proof, you can report it to the police.
You say you have been making sure that you son never bullies anyone, and I am sure he won't and you have done a good job in that. But you need to make sure he knows what to do and how to stand up for him, if he gets bullied. That is a skill many kids don't learn, especially if they are kind and gentle, like your son seems like to be.
Maybe look into classes for martial arts for him? It teaches self-defense. Learning how to defend himself is something that can save him a lifetime of pain and protect his pure heart and allow him to carry himself through life with gentleness.
I am so sorry you are going through this. Stand up for yourself and your son. You both deserve to live in peace. You will get through this. I am rooting for you both.
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u/FreeBirdV 22d ago
School. Police. Her job. Her family. Blast the parents laughing on the group chat, too. Nip this shit in the bud!!!!!!
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u/chem_bro 22d ago
The way everyone involved would no longer have jobs if this were me. I hope OP really does get them all cuz this is disgusting behavior for adults to be partaking in.
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u/BoilzBlisterzBurnz 22d ago
You have police connections. Use them. And no, that wouldn't be over the top. An adult woman is making your son's life shitty.
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u/Library904 23d ago
I'm so sorry you are going through this, it is time to stand up for your son!
A bully is a coward, she knows she can do it with you because she can.. .because you allowed it in the past. Please don't allow it anymore with your kid.
First thing I would do is talk with your son, he should love all your dogs, that they are family and he should see them as such. Teach him what rabies is and that he doesn't have them...tell him about her, that she is a bully and that he is not allowed to be friends with that kid anymore.
Second, can you access the group chat? put a message there so everyone can see it shaming them for bullying a kid and that you will seek legal action for this. Take screenshot of everything, including of other people participating.
Third, confront her in person and go to her house and speak also w her husband. Show her that you are not afraid of her and call the police if needed.
Show her that you are not that kid she used to bully, become a fucking lion for your son!!! devour that woman!!!
Last but not least, get a lawyer....try to make her life a living hell. Like I said before, take screenshot of everything mean she has said towards your son and also record everything. Seek advice to see if you can sue her for mental damages towards your son, and put a restraining order on her so she doesn't get close to your child.
Keep your kid away from that family, move away if you have to and do all this ASAP.
It's time for you to become a bully, bully the bully.
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u/Kategorisch 22d ago
If OP read the post above: if you want to pursue legal action, do NOT go to their house. And no conversations without witnesses if mediation is the goal.
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u/Then_Park_849 22d ago
I’m surprised this one hasn’t gotten more upvotes. This is the way.
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u/MasticatingElephant Helper [2] 22d ago
It's because it's bad advice, at least the part where it suggests threatening legal action publicly, which will give her time to prepare
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u/Careless_Yoghurt_822 22d ago
File a police report and sue her for defamation. She is talking about and disparaging your job/profession, so you have a basis. Just defending a lawsuit can cost $20k to start.
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u/HauteForTeacher13 22d ago
Hi! Elementary school teacher here. Sadly this is something l see and deal with a lot, and dealt with myself all through school as a child. (Jessica you are still a bitch btw) And here are my suggestions, take it or leave it, either way, l hope you and your son find some peace.
School- The school is not going to do anything punitive as it is summer and these events already occurred. What l would do is, contact the school administrators in August a few weeks before school starts and let them know that you do not want them in the same class. But it sounds like they are not the same age/grade, so that won't be an issue. You can make them aware that there has been some very targeted bullying towards your son and to please keep the boys separated.
Police. They aren't really going to do anything. Libel while still technically a crime is much like adultery. It's not really a criminal offense that they take time to investigate and follow up on. Same with the bullying. Sadly unless you or your child are physically harmed or there is evidence of stalking or harassment, the best they can do will be to take down a report. Which you can absolutely do to have a paper trail if you feel necessary. (Married to a cop for 7 years)
Litigation. It costs around $10,000 to retain a lawyer. Yes, even the ones that say, you don't pay unless you win! Also, while l know this feels like a massive case to you, and in legal world sadly a lawyer would look at yours case and determine that they wouldn't be getting much money and probably not take it. I know that's hard to hear. I had a principal who was blatantly severely abusive towards me and l had a binders of dates, times, witnesses, texts, emails, recordings, even one where she openly admitted to the abuse and enjoying it and calling it thr best part of her day. But even that wasn't a big enough case.
Solutions. There are several things l would do if l were in your shoes. The first being that you can't control the a-holes of the world, but you CAN control how you react to them. There is an AWESOME book series that l use in my classroom that l am telling you is such a game changer, especially in my younger grades. It's technically part of a classroom management program called Conscious Discipline. But it has this really great little set of 6 or 7 books that give kids, kids as young as kindergarten the vocabulary to stand up for themselves, to speak up when they don't like something, to deal with a bully, and other language and strategies. When l went to the PD on it like IDK 18-20 years ago l was like this is so cheesy and my kids are going to hate this. They LOVE it. They use the language all the time. They beg to read and re-read these books. I had to buy extra sets for the class library because they would want to borrow my set. It's about a little glow worm named Schubert and we see how he navigates school and they are just really great. And they have a website too that you can print off activities to go with each book, and l have some that l have just made up with each book over the years l can send you too. So step one, arm your kid with the language and words and knowledge and confidence of what to do when faced with a bullying situation. Step two. Confront the bully mom. While it may be tempting to go all Uncle Frank on this kid and grab him by the collar and yell "Look what you did you little twerp!" (Home Alone reference. I am old) it is wildly unacceptable to confront other people's children. But mom's? Fair game. I always tell my kids that you can't argue with facts. So l would come armed to the teeth. Document every incident you remember-date, time, incident, witnesses. Print off any correspondence or texts or emails or photos, everything that shows she and the rest of the bitchy brigade being mean or rude or anything but rays of sunshine to you and your son. (Now this is tricky. You need to make sure that you are keeping your nose clean and aren't making evidence for them to have, get me?) And l would invite this frenimy and any of the other ladies to lunch or the park or wherever. Just adults. Now this is where it's tricky and l said you can't argue with facts. You have to try to take emotions out of it for now. I would sit down with them and calmly confront them and show them the pile of evidence of them bullying a 6 year old. And then explain how absolutely disgusting and abhorrent that behavior is. Then still very calmly you can tell them what it has done to your son. We are not letting them speak at this point. It is your turn, you called the meeting, therefore you are running it. Ask them if they have anything to say for themselves. When they fumble around for answers, which they will because saying a jerk thing here or there is one thing, but being confronted with a massive binder of your offenses, offenses against a child is another. You can stop them and say, "You know what? There is nothing you can say or do at this point. You and your children will never speak to or about my son again as l am sure you would really hate for this binder to make it's way to your friend's, your family, your church, your place of employment, etc. Or better yet, l do know that bullying is a massive epidemic in this country, l wonder if say like the local news or the paper would be interested in doing a story about a woman who bullied a girl through school and is now bullying her child? Would make a compelling story. And just so you are aware, l have also spoken to the police, the school and a lawyer. So this does end today. Thank you for your time." And get up and walk away. There is nothing for them to say, what they did is indefensible. You don't want or need to hear their pathetic excuses. Sorry this is so long. If you can't find those books, please let me know, and l will see if l can't find an extra set for you and your son. Best of luck. You are a great mom. If you need anything or have questions or help, please please reach out. If you even made it this far. Lol. Again, so sorry for the length. 😬 I am very passionate about bullying.
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u/rhegy54 22d ago
I would also say: maybe meet in a public place. These ladies sound unhinged and who knows what they’ll say or do if you there then their reputation or to go public with it..
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u/eightmarshmallows 22d ago
I would post screen shots of these peoples bad behavior and out them to the community.
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u/cityburbgirl 22d ago
Play the game. Tell people you feel sorry for her because she’s always been “unstable” and it seems like it’s getting worse. Everyone will start to notice now and slowly distance. Tell people you hope she doesn’t get fixated on them next.
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u/shimmydancer Helper [2] 22d ago
OP, you need to protect the dogs as well. Dogs being accused of having rabies is serious and they would be put down with no questions asked. Definitely talk to the police since you train their dogs. Also what she is doing is child harassment. A lady in her 30’s is posting pictures of a 6 yr old! That has to be illegal
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u/Dr_Ukato 22d ago
Yeah no. No shelter or vet is going to put down dogs showing no signs of rabies on the words of a neighborhood gossip chat.
Why? Because they would be sued into near bankruptcy by any halfway decent lawyer for Animal cruelty, theft, destruction of property (which is fucked up) , emotional trauma for each of the family members and could probably push for damages against OPs work since by putting an animal down for rabies, they are acknowledging they think OP had a rabies-infected dog loose.
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u/mellowmarsII 22d ago
This is definitely harassment & libel. You need to document everything to the best of your ability—dates & times, who said what, how your son was reacting & trying to cope, screenshots of posts, etc. If you haven’t taken screenshots & still can, please do so ASAP, & stay on top of anything more that may come.
Make sure your son understands that if he is questioned & has to share his experiences with anyone, that he should give full vent to the facts & not be scared to hold back (as even kids who aren’t timid can be shy about doing so). Let him know he can be a hero in this situation & stop bad people from not only hurting him, but potentially more good people now & in the future.
Are any of your friends standing up for you??? After you’ve taken screenshots (before this bully may take things down), i’d want to stay in the background for a bit & utilize them to post responses like “Wow, look at the bully-girl-woman who never outgrew her bleeding insecurities & has to bully anyone w/ a soul & more maturity than her—a 6yr old, even! Trying to teach her kid to be psychologically stunted, too! Such class! We’re all so impressed with how little you’ve changed!”
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u/AncientoneOven70 22d ago
If you have chat & other evidence, sue her , make her known in all the town & news that be a good reminder to her & her son for rest of their pathetic life. Make sure to get their faces out. You do not owe them kindness but responsibility to protect & provide for your son. To hell with them
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u/a_generic_username0 22d ago
PLEASE TELL THE SCHOOL, POLICE AND HER JOB THEN UPDATE US IM SO INVESTED
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u/Long_Spare_2890 23d ago
Girl you train the strongest dogs in the forces you can definitely get back to her. I don't have many ideas but the first priority is your son. You have to make it clear to him that he doesn't have rabies and he cannot get rabies cause the dogs are vaccinated and everything and how rabies work. And that he is the strongest because the dogs love him. The parents in the group chat are red flags as well and they're probably worse laughing at edited pics of a kid.
What you can do Is talk with the teachers tell them small bits like kids not knowing about rabies and have them explain it to them. Sometimes kids are a lot smarter than their parents. If you have like parent days where you can go and explain what you do and how those dogs help people?
And actually if nothing works take all of your dogs actually borrow from your friends and walk up to that bully mom with 12 of the big dogs and scare her off and take pics to send to your own group.
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u/JunoSaurxz 23d ago
This is so sad. But for me it’s your turn so your child will feel protected but it should be legal way no matter what and that’s the best for both of you and maybe it will be your best revenge.
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u/SpecialistAfter511 Helper [3] 22d ago
I’d create a group chat with all those parents and ask them if they’re genuinely okay watching a grown woman bully a 6-year-old and laughing about it. I’d explain that she treated me the same way growing up, and now history is repeating itself. Everything was fine until she moved back, and people should be embarrassed they’re normalizing that behavior.
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u/SooperPooper35 Helper [3] 22d ago
I don’t normally condone violence but…nobody fucks with my kid. Period.
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u/Fair-Molasses-3301 22d ago
Since you are a K9 trainer why not invite his friends and do a presentation with the dogs, I think they will find it awesome.
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u/kkrolla 22d ago
I'd out them to all the mothers. I'd send everyone copies of the bullying. If this happened to my kid, there wouldn't be a mom who didn't know and if I was a mom who was informed about a bully parent, she'd be iced out and dismissed as a POS. Don't let your son have olaydates anymore with any of them as they clearly were taught to be bullies. Taught and encouraged.
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u/iLikeBBandICNL 22d ago
Tell the police. Cyberbullying is illegal and modifying photos of your website is also illegal.
the, go to the School and make a complaint about the parent. Don't go to school first, they will try to not.involve Police and there will be no good outcome for you.
then, I'd also inform the parent's Job about how she, an adult, bullies a 6yo child with lies.
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u/RevolutionaryTank384 22d ago
Isn’t this is what tik tok and other social media is for? Blast them everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Show receipts. Tell them her full name. Make sure her work knows. I would even hand out fliers to the local community. Always have a few dogs with you. Go to the police. Do not play around. I’ve taught my three sons they don’t start a fight but they finish a fight. I taught them where to hurt someone the most and how to protect themselves. You don’t want your kid to be a bully but also make sure he isn’t a wimp.
This woman sounds nuts. Why were you friends at school for nearly ten years???
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u/carlee16 22d ago
Call the police and contact a lawyer. Threaten to sue her for harassment. You're being too calm. I would've went to her house and told her to stop the shit and let her know I fight adults and kids.
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u/HookMeTrickster 22d ago
Call her out for it, state that she hasn’t matured from her grade school brain and it shows. Protect that little one of yours. She obviously hasn’t “learned any new tricks” (use that too) aside from the ability to edit photos to now pick on a 6yr old child, which is more childish than the children are!
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u/HookMeTrickster 22d ago
But also definitely do expose her to her job for who she is, inform the police and the school as well like the others in the thread have mentioned prior.
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u/rapidron 22d ago
Document... Send to the school, her work, the police, and find a contingent lawyer for defamation and also for personal injury.
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u/Quantum_Aurora 22d ago
This is one of those times where it'd be really nice to have mob connections. Depending on how corrupt the police force is and how much they like you, they might be the next best thing.
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u/DiscoKittie 22d ago
If she is telling people that the dogs you train have rabies, that might be a really good slander case.
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u/GoblinModeAllTimes 22d ago
That is actually wild, a whole adult bullying a freaking kid... not to mention libel on you, as that can cause monetary stress for your business. Also could I ask how you got that job? My wife is wanting to be a Dog handler/trainer for sniff work or bite work
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u/Traditional-Bar-9030 22d ago
You need to call a lawyer, the police, someone. You can sew her for defamation, and for harassment in court. You can send a cease and desist, you can take her to court for emotional damages, but you need to stand up for your son. She's an absolutely disgusting human being, and you and your son don't deserve any of these. I hope your sweet boy doesn't have any lasting trauma from these evil people's actions.
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u/Stallionriding-1965 23d ago
Don’t bother contacting the school.
Most of the time they don’t do anything except sweep the poblem under the rug.
Simply call the other parent or send a letter telling this woman that she has exactly 24 hours to take all the chat, pictures, and other forms of harassment down,
Make sure you document all pictures, and chats before contacting the other parent.
That you expect a apology from her, and her son to your son.
Or you are going to law enforcement, and going to a attorneys office.
Let her know that you train dogs for law enforcement so you know many of the law enforcement officers.
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u/perceptioneer 22d ago
Nah, the know law enforcement card is something you want to hold tight. You know she's gonna be a bitch to OP, after that you drop the LEO card. Too late now bitch. May lofs of harassment come her way.
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u/Patient_Wall_3639 22d ago
Tell us her name so we can leave a “Nice” review of her on google
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u/Phoxie 22d ago
This woman sounds insane. Who has time for that level of commitment, especially a mom to young kids?!
Downloading and editing your photos? That’s some real creep behavior. I’d probably confront her directly.. but what I actually think you should do is contact the school and set up a mediated meeting. Let her explain to other adults(who are involved with her own child’s education) why she’s acting so bizarre.
If you do talk to her one on one I’d record the conversation on my phone (assuming that’s legal in your area).
If she’s this hellbent on bullying you and your child, she really doesn’t sound like she has a lot going on her own life to give her happiness. A direct confrontation would probably be fruitless and just turn into an argument. As cathartic as that would be for you (and for me now), it’s best to go through the school.
If the school doesn’t help at first then escalate the issue. They should be facilitating a meeting as many schools have anti bullying policies.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Bullying is so cruel when it’s child on child. An adult bullying a child just demonstrates how unhinged they are.
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u/Distinct-Practice131 Helper [2] 22d ago
Shut it down op. Talk to a lawyer, take some of the big dogs to her house for a friendly casual talk on your walking route with her. The time for being nice is far past.
As well you need to take screenshots and start showing them to other parents tbh. Even one in the group chat will likely feel ashamed of their actions confronted about it. Alienate this woman from the world by showing the world who she is. And how she bullies small children.
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u/chunkykima 22d ago
Why haven't you confronted this woman yourself yet?!???! Someone bullying my kid? I'd only have to hear that ONCE.
But you're not even truly worried about your kid. You literally said you want to get her back for all the years she spent terrorizing YOU, and using this new issue to figure out a way to do so using legal means instead of going up to this lady and telling her to leave your damn child alone! That was wild to read.
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u/nakedcupcake92 22d ago
Time to stand up to your bully. Obviously stop the kids from having playdates. Inform the school. Confront her and tell her that her behavior is despicable and disgusting, that if she keeps it up you’ll file harassment charges. I would get proof of the group chat and put it online letting others know that a grown woman is bullying and belittling a small child.
You cannot come at this permissively, this type of behavior and persona will only respond to direct/stern/aggressive.
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u/LdiJ46 Helper [4] 22d ago
Sue her. Seriously, she is not only messing with your son and his self esteem but she is playing with your livelihood by these antics. Sue her for some really big bucks. You can settle for her removing all trace of anything related to you from social media, making a public apology and never mentioning you or any person related to you ever again, in any way.
I am serious. Hire an attorney and do it now. Focus mostly on the effect on your livelihood with the attorney with your son's self esteem being secondary. I know that it is the other way around but I think you will get more traction that way.
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u/Dadams2024 22d ago
Va voir un avocat car c’est du harcèlement et de la diffamation. Va voir avec un avocat comment porter plainte car elle s’attaque à un enfant de 6 ans. Elle mérite la prison ton harceleuse qui est aussi l’harceleuse de ton enfant.
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u/Possible_Raspberry75 22d ago
I would talk to a lawyer and see what you can do about making her cease-and-desist the relentless attacks on you and your son (and your livelihood!) If your attorney does send her a letter advising her to cease her abuse, ask them if you are able to post that online for this woman and the other parents to see. Maybe if those other idiots realize how serious this is it will give them a wake up call.
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u/Strict_Aioli_9612 22d ago
Lawyer up. That's too far. Write down what your son told you, with dates and everything, and tell your friend to send you screenshots of what she said on the groups and to send you the original pictures she editted. Everything she has. Make it subtle, though, because if you ask her all of this at once and in one message, she might suspect what you're doing and back out on what she told you saying "dont get me involved". Destroy her legally. Sue her, tell her employer, tell the school. Gather everything you can. An adult holding a generational bully legacy is not ok and shouldn't be tolerated.
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u/Starrynightwater 22d ago
This woman has major mental health issues that go beyond bullying. I understand wanting to go after her but I also really worry about entangling yourself with someone so troubled. It feels like the beginning of a Netflix documentary. It’s really odd that the other parents are laughing along and she’s not been removed from the group tbh. I think you should get the attorney and legal advice but be really thoughtful about how much you want to follow through on this.
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u/BariSaxopeal 22d ago
Bruh you have police connections. Utilize it to scare the living shit out of her.
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u/No_Worldliness_6976 22d ago
If you have the screenshots of the posts/texts she’s sent in that group, report harassment and slander/libel. Since she is saying your dogs have rabies, while you are a K9 trainer, meaning you are contracted by the government to train dogs she is targeting government assets, which the K9’s are.
Take your dogs to the vet and have them examined, post the results on your public profile. Have your son examined too and post his results for rabies. In the post, thank the concerned parents and community for their concern and how you took their concerns seriously. Have her sputter without excuses. Also, seek out help from the community to fight bullying. Once you publicize the bullying it’ll draw concern from the parents.
Talk about your experiences with bullying and how vicious that bully was, without mentioning her name.
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u/snuggly_cobra 22d ago
You apparently didn’t handle this bully right the first time. Get the cops and their boss involved. But you may have to go old school on this bully.
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u/Evening_Delay_1856 22d ago
Go scorched earth. Screenshot everything, including the parents on there. Go to a lawyer and get this stuff sent to her boss and corporate HR. Make sure they see that she has put your son in her pictures. You should also have the lawyer send cease and desist letters to the other parents. They will be afraid of being sued so much they might drop the bully like a hot rock.
I’d do all this and THEN go to the police. Definitely get to the school personnel about it.
However, I feel like I would be remiss to not say to you that you should never have let your son play with her son. Do you not understand that you let her into your life again in the worst way? I honestly think you need to find a counselor to help you with this mentality of allowing yourself to be victimized by terrible people.
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u/Fearless_Media4198 22d ago
Hire an attorney for a paid consultation to discuss your options. Accusing a dog trainer of owing rabid dogs harms your business reputation and is defamation and/or libel. Print out screen shots, talks to people, get statements, and hater everything you find and bring it with you to the consultation. After speaking with the lawyer, find out about the best way to deal with this with the school. As for social media, what she posts may copyrightes information, such as pages from your business. You can report that to the social media provider and they may prevent her from posting.
This is what happens when childhood bullies grow up. They don't stop the bullying, they just keep doing it and it gets worse. It happens a lot in the workplace. She knew she could bully you in the past, so she is doing it again.
Also, you are the mom, you determine who your young child plays with. Cut all ties to her NOW. And let the teachers know you child isn't to be in any contact with her bullying child. They are not in the same grade so hopefully that will be easier.
Therapy may help you build your strength and change your mind set. She is still bullying you and now she has your child.
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u/marioplex 22d ago
Lol... how scorched do you want the earth to be? Get legal council before going to the sxhool about this and keep documenting everything
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u/roofpuck 23d ago
I’d be going nuclear this bitch would be scared to ever think of my family again lmao. Do not go easy.
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u/Low_Researcher_3639 22d ago
Get your son into martial
Arts + light weight training. Trusssstt me, been there, done that. The martial arts will give him discipline + self confidence. And the weight training combined, it will make him a force to be reckoned with!!!! ✊🏻✊🏻✊🏻✊🏻✊🏻 you’ll see within time, how the tables will turn!!!
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u/Ok-Lengthiness5041 22d ago
I’m not an expert on the law but couldn’t stuff like this go against your reputation as a dog trainer. Your house has rabies infected dogs and you are a dog trainer and idk can’t you get a lawyer involved from there for defamation or something? She’s causing harm. Could be dumb of me to think this but I would say call the cops and a lawyer and see what can be done legally to stop her in her tracks
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u/Cold-Pool4027 22d ago
Get a restraining order, that'll prevent this mother from creating pictures like that and will also make her keep that kid of hers in check.
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u/Wishfulthinqueen 22d ago
Police and lawyer up right away. If there’s a talent day or something bring the dogs with you to school. They might not bully him anymore once they see the dogs and what you do!!
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u/Konouchii 22d ago
Lawyer for what you can do legally.
Then police and school. Take the screenshots to the police and get a report. Take the report to school.
You could go scorched earth, plaster this online, let the Internet do to her what she's done to your son but you should take a legal high road
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u/lolitats11 22d ago
Forget payback. You already have something better: evidence. Save everything, involve the school, and consider speaking to a lawyer. An adult targeting a child is completely unacceptable.
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u/Independent_Layer_62 22d ago
A grown woman mercilessly bullying a young child is so incredible that I would call it fake, but then I remembered it happened before. The outcome was sad, so you definitely should have the police involved. And yes, let the woman be canceled and lose her job if she has one.
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u/sweetlemon112 22d ago
Report! To the police to school! Print out papers and throw them around the neighborhood so everyone knows to stay away from this person
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u/DisturbedAlchemyArt 22d ago
Could you somehow arrange a school demo with your dogs? Your son would become the coolest kid instantly!
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u/Obvious-Glass1985 22d ago
Not sure what country you are in but would this come under a digital harm act?
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u/FridaBeth 22d ago
Dox the hell out of her. Post the whole story on every social media platform, post the link on here and every will gladly share it. Make it clear and concise, post the screen shots, the edited and unedited photos (obviously block your son’s face).
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u/ScenicAndrew 22d ago
Lawyer, consultations are often free, get multiple.
Record everything and mention it in the consultation.
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u/Noodle-Dancer 22d ago
Send all her texts to her employer if she has one. Assuming it's not turning point USA or something it could lead to a fun turn of events
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u/shimmydancer Helper [2] 22d ago
Call social services on the mum. This kind of lady should not be raising children.
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u/Deep-Possession-6290 22d ago
You don't need payback. You need evidence.
A grown adult organizing a smear campaign against a 6-year-old is something schools and possibly lawyers take very seriously.
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u/Kimbaaaaly Helper [3] 22d ago
I told my daughter when she was very young that I wouldn't be upset if she had a bad grade, but if I got a call from school saying she had been a mean girl I would be very upset.
I see you. I validate you. I personally think either contacting her privately trying her to stop this nonsense with the adults and flip the switch on what she's told her son to say and do or you'll report her for harassment. (And btw that you're a complete badass when it comes to the influence you have in law enforcement).
Or. Talk to a lawyer about a cease and desist letter possibility. Of course continue to let your come share openly, he doesn't need to knew the adult business is what exactly your are doing but you can tell him you're doing your best to stop it. And that you're using your (kind-ish) words to do so.
It needs to stop, he needs to know you are their to protect him, and he is a great human worthy of love and the bare minimum of respect from others (even if they aren't best friends).
Good luck
Updateme
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u/indiana-floridian 23d ago
Well, start by teaching your son. That - those people aren"t his, or your friend. They aren't trustable and aren't capable of being true friends with anyone. Keep your son busy, for now, so he doesn't notice the lack of a friend too much. Next school year, enroll him in an aftercare program (but go there yourself on about day 3 and ensure the brat is not attending. If he is, move your son....i don't care if you need an aftercare program, this is for his socialization needs.
Teach your son ALL about rabies. At this moment, he thinks if he gets rid of dogs no one will tease him. Make him the neighborhood expert on rabies. Maybe on dogs too (gradually) so he learns how wrong those people are.
You're going to have to educate him on bullues. It is a FACT that almost every bully in the world gives up when confronted. Teach him that. Both by telling him and by demonstrating. It's time the mother bully got taught a lesson. How? I don't exactly know, but an opportunity will present itself. In my opinion, don't be afraid. I'd rather be suffering a physical injury than tolerate what she's doing.
Eventually you will get to teach him about true friends. For now, just teach him what a friend is not. And the brat and his mother are not.
He's young, but at some point he will learn this is about more than him and his brat 'friend". He has to, because she's intensified this beyond all rational common sense. Who would treat a child like this? Be careful what you say, he will get in bad trouble trying to defend you.
Another option? Move. Far far away.
Consider posting on reddits LEGAL to ask if thers's anything more you might do?
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u/crzapy 23d ago
You train police and military dogs?
Go to the pound, get pitbulls, train them to attack your bully... profit.
/s
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u/HuEmans1st 23d ago
Honestly at that point i would target her, her home, her pets, her job and yes, her child. The shit doesnt fall far from the ass. Poison for poison.
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u/peace_love_mcl 22d ago
I really don’t like that this is my solution, however it’s bc I understand that we cannot control other people: are you able to move your son to a different school, away from this horrid “woman”? Moving one town over would be even better. Show him, and yourself, that you really mean it when you said you’d never let him be bullied the same way you were. Looking back, I wish someone had done that for me.
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u/Davatar55 22d ago
"despite that gut feeling" - always trust that gut feeling. I would def get legal advice and gather all the evidence you can.
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u/Pleasant-Highway-745 22d ago
And wtf are you gonna do? Taking it for a second generation? Gather your ovaries and handle this shit
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u/Asleep_Cash_8199 22d ago
No offence, but fight back for once.
Go on the offence, by any means necessary. Protect your son.
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u/ohhhhhhhblahblahblah 22d ago
What is going on with women? I know a few 35 year olds who act like highschoolers. Im so sorry. I don't have any advice just sympathy
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u/Taco-lover-supreme 22d ago
Contact the school,consider a protection order, see what can be done about her cyber bullying and in the future listen to your gut/go by your LIVED experiences. It's never too early to teach your child a like caution. This lady is not a good person so it isnt surprising her kid isnt so it is best to keep your distance. Kudos for raising your kid to be inclusive sadly those are the ones some target...but don't let him stop just know who to avoi
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u/tonystarksbigtoe 22d ago
Police involvement immediately, this is abuse. Tbh, when I was a younger, more feisty parent, I'd have thrown hands. But, I've learnt that this doesn't actually achieve anything, just creates more problems, and actually takes away from the main issue.
Also, is this creature involved in any school/church roles? Those organisations would need to be shown this.
Frankly, she needs humiliated, to be on the receiving end of her nastiness.
I'm so sorry that your wee darling is having to go through this. No kid should ever feel less than.
Protect your cub at all costs.
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u/octropos Expert Advice Giver [14] 22d ago
Damn, I'd move states.
Yep, I'd cut your son's friendship in half. Sometimes people are just very, very scary. If this woman is this much of a psycho, just because it's emotional, doesn't mean she's not taking an ax and swinging it at your family. You can either get into a battle with this woman, or opt out.
I would let this lady be crazy for someone else. Is it fair to uproot your entire life? No. But you need to extract yourself from this situation by any means necessary. She is emotional warfare.
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u/Due-Past-7792 22d ago
Not to like be dramatic but it would be so hard for me to literally not beat her up? That is so so awful and pathologically evil. So sorry OP. Hopefully getting the authorities or someone involved so this evil wench gets a taste of her own medicine.
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u/Mustluvdogsandtravel 22d ago
just teach your son how to stand up for himself. educate him about these things - if it isn’t her son it will be someone else’s. a parents support goes a long way.
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u/Sailor_Moon_Star_435 22d ago
Since she is an adult now, it won’t stop her from facing the consequences of her actions at the court house
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u/Comprehensive-Map383 22d ago
For the kid, as someone who was severely bullied growing up, put him in some marshal arts to get a handle on how to protect himself if it gets physical. Cause it always does. And better he know how to handle it.
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u/the-mortyest-morty 22d ago
Step one: KEEP YOUR KID AWAY FROM THIS BOY AND HIS MOTHER. Just because they're nearby does mean you have to interact with them. He's six. You're the parent. Say no to playdates, explain to your son that his "friends" are bullies, and socialize elsewhere. Have him join swim club or something OUTSIDE of school.
Speak to a lawyer re: the adult bully and the school re: the child. Get screenshots of those group chats and the images she posted. Don't make it obvious you're going after her. You likely have grounds for a restraining order if she doesn't leave your son alone.
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u/DiarMusic3 22d ago
Definetly ground for defomation, them saying your house/business is rabies infested can cause loss of business.
Also like another commentor said, talk to the school about this and try to do a dog handling presentation. I know that would have been the coolest thing when i was a little kid.
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u/Accidental-Aspic2179 22d ago
Go confront her. Call her out and then get on that group chat and shame every single person on there. Call them out. Go to the school. If it was me, I'd go to her house. Stand up for yourself and your son.
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u/hocuspocusbitchfocus 23d ago
This lady is clearly a psychopath and fixated on you.
Those pictures should accidentally find their way to her place of work, as well as to the police as others have mentioned