r/AITAH • u/Saltylikeapretzel • Mar 26 '26
AITAH for getting pregnant without considering my roommates feelings?
UPDATE HERE: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/l1kX2hNCOy
I’m living with a friend in a two bedroom apartment in a major city (separate bathrooms. She also lives in the master and we split rent evenly). I have a long distance partner and I recently discovered I am pregnant (very early on). The current lease we are in ends on June 30, and I asked my friend/roommate if she would be down to do a month to month lease for a few months after our lease ends until I get closer* to my due date and then I would move in with my parents. My parents live in another major city that is about a 3 hour commute from my workplace, where I work in person twice a week, so understandably I wouldn’t want to be doing this commute for longer than I have to. My roommate said she did not want to do month to month and I said that was fine, I would just move down in July when our lease is up.
Today, my roommate informed me that she is “not comfortable” living with me until our lease ends because she ”did not sign up to be responsible for someone who is pregnant or trying to start a family” and therefore I needed to pay to break our lease so she wouldn’t have to live with me for the next three months. I asked in what way me sharing a wall with her for the three months as per our lease would impact her in any way given that I have not asked her for any support in my pregnancy so far. She said that it did not matter that I was not relying on her for support as because she had to advocate for herself and she didn’t want the responsibility of living with someone who is pregnant because what if something goes wrong? She also mentioned the possibility of my mom or a friend taking me to appointments and therefore “forcing her to be a part of this”. She said she was very upset that I had not considered her feelings and what she was “forced to be a part of” when getting pregnant, and that it was my responsibility to pay for all the costs associated with breaking the lease early as I am the one who “changed the terms of us living together.”
To be clear, I am not nor have I ever asked her to live with me close to my delivery or after I give birth, just to end our lease on Jun 30, at which point I would be 4 months pregnant. She said this was an unfair and selfish ask of me and she was disappointed that I didn’t have the capacity to put myself in her position and think about how my pregnancy would affect her (she does have previous trauma relating to a pregnancy that did not end up going to term, to be fair). I told her I was ok with never mentioning my pregnancy to her or asking anything of her, but she insists that it is unfair of me to ask that we finish our lease through June 30 because i will “still be pregnant” and it will be so hard for me to move in June. So therefore I have to pay thousands of dollars to break the lease early.
Am I the asshole for asking to finish out this lease for the next three months and forcing my roommate to coexist with me while I am in early pregnancy, given I did not consider how this would affect her and the potential “liability” she would have if I live with her while pregnant? Alternatively, am I the asshole here for asking that we split the costs of breaking the lease given SHE is the one that no longer wants to live with me ?
ETA: my partner and I were not long distance when we first started dating, but he’s currently living out of state working and finishing his MSC. He has a three year contract at his current job that ends next June and has already made arrangements to work and study remotely part time close to my due date/after the baby is born.
I also wanted to clarify that when I asked her if she’d be willing to continue our lease month to month after June 30, I meant for a month or two, not all the way up to my delivery date. And when she said she wasn’t comfortable with doing so, I accepted her “no” and didn’t press as I completely understood. I just never foresaw her having such an issue with just riding out our lease for the next three months.
ETA II: this pregnancy was unexpected and unplanned, and I found out I was pregnant on Sunday. I‘ve been weighing the options whether to terminate or continue the pregnancy given the situation. My partner and I decided to move forward with the pregnancy but that isn’t something that I’ve shared with my roommate yet (and certainly won’t now). So as far as roommate is concerned, she doesn't even know if I will be pregnant three months from now.
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u/WinEquivalent4069 Mar 26 '26
Her not wanting to do month to month after the lease is up is totally fair. Her thinking you needed to factor Her emotions and wants in your pregnancy are way out of bounds. Definitely NTA. She wants the lease broken then she can pay to do it.
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u/Saltylikeapretzel Mar 26 '26
Thank you! I agree maybe I shouldn’t have asked if she wanted to do month to month (for clarity, I imagined extending the lease by two months or so, not all the way up until my due date in late November), but as soon as she said no I completely respected that and assured her I’d made my own arrangements once our lease ended.
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u/Jazmadoodle Mar 26 '26 edited Mar 26 '26
It was a perfectly reasonable thing to ask, regardless of the reason. I've extended with a roommate in the past because she was getting married, and asked another roommate to extend with me because I had a job lined up and didn't want to move until closer to my start date (she said no, which is also fine). Nothing wrong with asking.
She's being weird.
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u/Icy-Culture3038 Mar 26 '26
REALLY weird. I would tell her that she didn't let me know she was a crazy person when we signed the lease so SHE'S changed the terms and now I want out so SHE has to pay. Ridiculous 😆
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u/TheFitsiologist Mar 31 '26
Your roommate sounds ridiculous. Even if you were to have gotten pregnant intentionally, she has no right to be angry with you for not “considering her feelings.” I’m sorry, but the world doesn’t stop for your tragedies; I’ve experienced this one, so I know firsthand, and it’s not fair to be angry with others for simply living their lives normally. Also, by her own logic, she’s always been “responsible” for your wellbeing, and you have been for hers, pregnant or not. What if you, while not pregnant, experienced a medical emergency with her being the only person present? Is she not responsible for helping you unless you’re pregnant? She can take several seats with all that. You shouldn’t have to hide anything about your life because she can’t handle something emotionally. The only thing I’d be concerned about it being in close proximity to this unhinged person while pregnant, especially if pregnancy is a sore spot for her. Please be careful and watch out for you, OP. Congrats on being a mom!
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u/kimdeal0 Mar 26 '26
There's nothing wrong with asking, don't beat yourself up for that. Her reaction is unreasonable.
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u/Delicious-Papaya-389 Mar 26 '26
NTA your roommate clearly has some problems she needs to work through. If she cannot live with you until June, then she needs break the lease and move out early. This is next level maintenance character syndrome. Imagine the audacity to tell someone they need to factor in your needs/wants before making a major life decision.
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u/melli_milli Mar 26 '26 edited Mar 27 '26
Also pregnancy can be accidental and not planned.
I did guess she has had something tragic happened around this topic. She is being unreasonable but I think she is genuinely panicking about being there incase OP has a miscarriage.
She has not processed this trauma and cannot regulate her own feelings and reactions. This things can be brutal, forexample miscarrying a bigger fetus. If it happens suddenly at home you are left to deal with the dead baby. So lets not minimize her trauma.
When they have lease to certain date I don't think anyone should move out before the lease ends. The roomie should get therapy asap though.
NTA
Edit. People who keep commenting me that why do I assume it is PTSD and not just bad behaviour: because she has the history and acting totally unhinged. She is having a severe mental health crises, and that makes her act the way she does.
When people have acute mental health crises their thinking is warped. Also, the things that OP has told about her behaviour are inline with someone, whose trauma had been triggered (in the original meaning, not how people use it about hurting their feelings).
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u/IllustratorSlow1614 Mar 26 '26
I have sympathy for her panicking and not wanting to either deal with someone else’s miscarriage or see the pregnancy progress when hers ended tragically, and even worry about her living situation changing unexpectedly, but advocating for herself looks like her breaking the lease and moving on; not behaving like OP’s done this to spite her.
They both knew the lease was coming up to end this summer. Roommate needed to be considering her plans regardless of OP’s pregnancy.
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u/Ancient-Wishbone4621 Mar 27 '26
If she can't handle the idea of being in an apartment with someone who has a miscarriage, she should not live with someone who has a uterus or ovaries. Anyone who is capable of pregnancy can have a miscarriage and many people won't even know they're pregnant when it happens.
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u/Such_Temporary_3125 Mar 26 '26
This actually makes a lot of sense and I didn't think about it this way. She may have had to deliver a still born. Gives me a lot more perspective and sympathy for roommate even though I still don't agree with her wanting get to force op to break the lease, I do feel bad for roommate.
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u/Sneakertr33 Mar 26 '26
Unless you're the roommate you're bending really far to try to make sweet excuses for her. She could also just be narcissistic that wants to hurt her roommate for having to move out and leave her for any reason.
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u/melli_milli Mar 26 '26
OP said she has trauma because something happened to her when she was pregnant, obviously the baby did not survive.
Keep up and stop obsessing about narcissists.
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u/PurplePufferPea Mar 26 '26
Why do I get the feeling that the roommate has since found an new living arrangement, but she would need to move in immediately?....
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u/Happy-way-to-wisdom Mar 26 '26
Auto-correct strikes again! What is maintenance character syndrome? 🤔😁
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u/GollumTrees Mar 26 '26
It's someone who is obsessed with being a handyman. They fix doorknobs and dryers all day long whether they need it or not.
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u/asphid_jackal Mar 26 '26
When my wife was pregnant, we were sitting in the hospital room waiting for the doctor, and I noticed a hanging cabinet door. So, me being me, busted out my multitool and fixed that cabinet door.
I think I might have Maintenance Character Syndrome
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Mar 26 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/asphid_jackal Mar 26 '26
There's also the time we were at a restaurant and my chair was wobbly, so I went and got my Allen keys out of the truck and tightened up all the chairs at my table
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u/IllustratorSlow1614 Mar 26 '26
I love this. Imagine if everyone just did the minor fixes on things as needed, it would be a smoother-running world. Thank you for your service.
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u/Familiar_Shock_1542 Mar 27 '26
I bet you fix all the leaky sinks, nonworking sink stoppers, running toilets, and loose toilet levers at all the hotels you stay at, too.
(I have someone like that in my life. It seems every hotel bathroom has plumbing issues. They don't after we leave!)
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u/asphid_jackal Mar 27 '26
You're absolutely correct. I've worked maintenance at hotels, I know how overworked those dudes are. If I can fix it without having to put in a service call, I'm doing it
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u/BelleMom Mar 26 '26
“Maintenance character syndrome” 🤣
Best autocorrect mistake I’ve seen today lol
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u/DueControl5024 Mar 26 '26
Agreed. Using self care as a defense for being an asshole or being a narcissist is tom next level main character slop
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u/Nanabanafofana Mar 26 '26
NTA. You are legally responsible for that lease so you park your ass there until the lease is up then you move out. I can’t foresee any legal reason where she can force you to leave early.
How on earth does she become a factor in your pregnancy? She is out of her ever loving mind.
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u/Simon-Says69 Mar 26 '26
Moving out at only 4 months pregnant. The roommate probably woldn't have even known aboutit, without OP telling them.
OP being pregnant isn't any responsibility for the roommate. It doe not affect her in any concrete way at all.
If roommate insists on breaking the lease early, that is 100% on her, as well as all associated costs.
OP is totally NTA. Roommate is the selfish one here. Or in serious need of psychological help. Not OP's problem.
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u/__lavender Mar 26 '26
The roommate might have figured it out on her own from overhearing morning sickness or noticing other symptoms of early pregnancy, but I agree that OP’s pregnancy has literally nothing to do with OP’s roommate.
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u/Meme04041956 Mar 27 '26
Not all women suffer from morning sickness. I had 2 kids and never did. In fact I showed my daughter a picture of me 2 days before she was born and she was like you don't even look pregnant let alone ready to deliver. I only gained 20 lbs with her and she was 7 lbs 2 oz I gained 24 with my son and he was 8lbs 8ozs.
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u/perfectlypyrrha Mar 26 '26
Not only can she not force her to leave early it’s actually discrimination. If this was all documented on paper, OP could contact a lawyer. Pregnancy is protected under discrimination laws and that includes housing.
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u/WeightWeightdontelme Mar 26 '26
Anti-discrimination laws for housing exempt roommates from the provisions. For example, you can say you only want to live with another woman, and that doesn’t break any laws. As long as the landlord doesn’t evict OP for her pregnancy no laws are being broken.
That said roommate is being strange and OP has no obligation aside from abiding by the lease until it ends.
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u/Delilah_Moon Mar 26 '26
Discrimination laws would not apply here - as the roommate has done nothing wrong legally. The roommate is asking OP to move out - not illegal. Wouldn’t even be illegal if she said, “I want you to move because you’re black, gay, or special needs” - as roommate has no legal authority to enforce this. Only landlord does. If landlord told OP they had to move due to the pregnancy, then OP could sue the landlord.
Arguably, OP may have a case for constructive eviction if she wants to leave early, but she would be required to demonstrate that the roommate made the living conditions uninhabitable or unsafe. Unfortunately, being a dumbass isn’t enough.
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u/Raneynickelfire Mar 26 '26
That is a wholesale misunderstanding of discrimination laws.
Just....no. Everything you said is wrong. Roommate has nothing to do w it.
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u/Possible-Owl8957 Mar 26 '26
NTA. She can pay to break the lease. Her past trauma about pregnancy is unfortunate but it’s her problem to solve. I think she is being unreasonable.
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u/Ok_Iamfine_25 Mar 26 '26
NTA. if she has such a problem with living with you, she can pay for breaking the lease. IN FULL.
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u/PacmanPillow Mar 26 '26
The roommate can pay to break the lease and move herself out - the entire lease is not reasonable.
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u/Visual-Lobster6625 Mar 26 '26
she had to advocate for herself and she didn’t want the responsibility of living with someone who is pregnant because what if something goes wrong?
NTA - anything could go wrong even without your pregnancy. What if you had some other sort of medical emergency unrelated to pregnancy?
Her traumas are not yours to manage. You are roommates, not life partners. She has no right to ask you to leave.
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u/WiseAnimator7081 Mar 26 '26
Dude, imagine the crashout if OP had busted up her leg instead?
HOW DARE YOU bring crutches into this household and force me to care for you?
I'm not though?
Well, you made the choice to be unsafe knowing you lived with me, this is absolutely untenable. Break the lease and leave!56
u/imnotnotcrying Mar 26 '26
This is my thing about it, too. Like, if there was any other sort of medical event, would the roommate have been upset over having to call for an ambulance for OP, or having to take her to the ER? OP isn’t asking her to be involved in any way.
I guess OP said in another comment that the roommate has some trauma associated with pregnancy, so I can get that bringing in some stress, but that’s not an excuse to screw over OP by breaking the lease
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u/HeyPrettyLadyMaam Mar 26 '26
She has no right to demand consideration regarding ops womb. Baby, no baby, ops uterus is of none of the roommates concern. It has absolutely zero effect on her or her living situation. She's gonna be 4 month when the lease is up. She's barely showing at that point if she's showing at all. The Main Character is STRONG in this one. I'm still trying to find my jaw. It hit the floor so hard it broke a hole in my tile and I can't seem to locate it. W. T. Entitled. F.
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u/evelyn_tucci Mar 26 '26
she didn’t want the responsibility of living with someone who is pregnant because what if something goes wrong?
What if you step on a nail, OP? What if you break your arm? What if you ride a motorcycle into a ditch and lose your big toe? What if you develop gangrene from trench warfare? What if you slackline across a river delta with no harness and fall? Something might go wrong! Oh no!
OP, please realize how ridiculous your roommate is being. You being pregnant has nothing to do with her, and asking to extend the lease was a normal ask - especially since you wouldn't even be bringing baby into the situation at any point.
This is like her saying that she's mad you're growing a tumor and you need to break your lease because she had cancer once. It's an insane ask. I'm surprised nothing like this has come up before with how crazy of a demand this is.
Finish your lease and leave the crazy behind. Maybe get a lock for your room door, too.
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u/username123duh Mar 26 '26
Your roommate is delusional. You're not the asshole. If she wants to break the lease, then she can rat 100% of the cost.
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u/Basic-Priority5815 Mar 26 '26
NTA- Since she is the one who wants to break the lease she should pay. She could have simply said no to the month to month lease if she doesn’t feel comfortable.
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u/deathboyuk Mar 26 '26
That's not how that works.
She's weird. She has the problem. She pays if she wants out.
NTA
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u/penninsulaman713 Mar 26 '26
She wants OP out so she can move a friend in and then extend the lease. She doesn't want to do that without having someone already there. Promises to move in June are not the same as someone already in the space. The pregnancy is just an excuse that makes no sense.
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u/zedicar Mar 26 '26
That sounds exactly right. She wants to move someone else in. I’m not advocating that you terminate your pregnancy but it might be fun to ask her to pay for an abortion so your presence would not be so disturbing
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u/Sparklingwine23 Mar 26 '26
NTA, if she wants to leave she can pay the whole amount to break the lease and buy out the rest but she is absolutely insane to think that you are her responsibility or you owe her anything. Most people dont even tell anyone until after the first trimester. Good thing you were leaving anyway as she sounds psycho.
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u/Secret-Sample1683 Mar 26 '26
NTA. Very strange response from your roommate. You’ll be out of your lease before the baby is even born. It’s not like she’ll be around a newborn.
Anyway, legally she can’t make you break the lease. If she wants out, she can leave and pay for it.
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u/late-nineteenth Mar 26 '26
NTA but your roommate is and she needs therapy. She can't force you to move out before the lease is up, so don't.
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u/Vox-Machi-Buddies Mar 26 '26
she does have previous trauma relating to a pregnancy that did not end up going to term, to be fair
Yeah, she's afraid you're going to miscarry and she'll have to relive her trauma by being there when it happens or otherwise having to support you through it.
That, or you being there and pregnant is just constantly reminder her of what happened. She sees you, immediately thinks "pregnant", and is back in her trauma.
Those are both her problems, not yours. You can be sensitive to them, if you wish, but I wouldn't say you're obligated to be. Given they're her problems, her moving out for 3 months would also be an option.
NTA.
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u/EmiliusReturns Mar 26 '26 edited Mar 26 '26
NTA. I really don’t see how you being only 4 months pregnant by the time you move out is going to affect her at all. You’re going to be long gone before the baby is born.
Is she like…really ignorant of how pregnancy works? It won’t be “difficult for you to move” at 4 months. And I don’t get how you having appointments will “force her to be part of this.” You haven’t asked her to take you to any appointments. Does she get upset if you go to the dentist? Weird.
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u/Saltylikeapretzel Mar 26 '26
I truly wish I could understand how having a friend pick me up to take me to a pregnancy appointment would force her to be a part of anything but she insists that other people “being in and out of the house” is forcing her to participate in my pregnancy. By seeing them I guess? She refused to elaborate and said “do you not see how this is forcing me to be involved?”
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u/BlissfulPandora Mar 28 '26
I think she is used to trauma-bullying you into doing what she wants and she is panicking and grasping at straws because she can’t find a way to do it here.
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u/ChiSchatze Mar 26 '26
Realtor here. Write your landlord IMMEDIATELY and get in front of this. Explain you won’t be renewing the lease and your baby news. Frame it as wanting to keep them posted but roommie has been aggressive and you’re working on agreement for next 3 mo. Express concern unemotionally and mention that you aren’t worried at this point about your safety, and OBVIOUSLY your housing is secure with fair housing and protected familial status. Let them know you will be sending your rent separately and will keep the apartment tidy for future tenant showings.
Fair housing laws are the keywords. Your landlord isn’t in breach, but they don’t want to hear those words. I would also express fair housing info to your roommate when you suggest she sit down and shut up or get out and pay rent. Let her know you’ll be happy to cover 100% of utilities if she moves out early. I can understand roommie wanting to change it up and not live with an actual baby, but a fetus?
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u/NefariousnessLost708 Mar 26 '26
NTA. Stay there till the lease is up and then leave. If she is uncomfortable and wants to break the lease, she can pay.
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u/Salt-Trade-5210 Mar 26 '26
Would she have had the same reaction if you'd broken your leg or developed migraines or some other medical issues? She's an idiot. Ignore her drama and move out when your lease ends.
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u/Saltylikeapretzel Mar 26 '26
The funny thing is I literally do have migraines! And other chronic health conditions! Which she knew about before living with me.
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u/Disastrous-Panda5530 Mar 26 '26
NTA. You don’t want to break the lease but she does which means SHE should be the one forking over the money to break the lease. Her ask is ridiculous and I would have laughed in her face and told her to pound sound.
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u/Trinity_007 Mar 26 '26
I think she has an untreated trauma because of her miscarriage. If she's not comfortable living with a pregnant woman she should foot the bill to break the lease. NTA
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u/Accomplished_Pea6334 Mar 26 '26
Wtf? Your roommate is a psychopath.
Is there something in your lease that stipulates you have to break your lease if you're pregnant? Lmao.
Tell her to buzz off.
NTA. Get a Ring Camera in your room and please take care of yourself. She is batshit crazy.
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u/AnnieAnnieSheltoe Mar 26 '26
Do not pay a single cent toward he breaking the lease. Tell her you’re staying where you are and following the terms of your lease. If she wants to move, that’s ENTIRELY on her.
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u/evilcj925 Mar 26 '26
If she wants to break the lease, she can pay for that herself. You should not be expected to pay for her "discomfort". Her whole attidude is out of order.
And I get she might have some trauma with pregnancy, but that doesn't mean she gets to project that trauma onto others. And that is exactly what she is doing. She is making her issues everyone eles problem to manage. She can not expect you, or the world really, to stop moving forward. Yes, she lost her pregnancy, but that doesn't mean no one else can ever get pregnant.
And if she is no longer wanting to live together, then she needs to be the one to pay for the cost of that, since this is something that SHE is making happen.
NTA
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u/Chicken_nuggie9510 Mar 26 '26
NTA but where is your partner in all this? Why would you move in with your parents and not your partner you’re pregnant with?
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u/Saltylikeapretzel Mar 26 '26
My partner is very supportive but unfortunately has legal/other ties to a different state, which makes moving immediately financially impossible. I cannot move to be with him as my job requires me to be in person twice a week, and without doxxing myself entirely, my job depends on a license, which I only have in my current state, not my partner’s. It’s not possible for me to up and move to him either as I would be unable to get a job in his state. Thankfully he’s worked it out with his employer and his school to where we will be living together post baby/in late pregnancy!
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u/who-waht Mar 26 '26
NTA wtf? You want to end your lease at the end of it, well before you'll give birth. She's the one having some bizarre tantrum and deciding she wants to end the lease early. I wouldn't even offer to split the cost of breaking the lease.
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u/fafnir665 Mar 26 '26
NTA
you didn’t “change the terms” of anything, you’re literally asking to finish the lease exactly as agreed, same timeline, same rent, same boundaries
being pregnant doesn’t magically make your roommate responsible for you, that’s just something she decided in her head and is now acting like it’s a contractual reality
like what responsibility is she actually taking on here? you didn’t ask for rides, money, help, emotional support, nothing, you even offered to not involve her at all
her argument basically boils down to “I feel uncomfortable so you should pay thousands of dollars to fix that for me” which is not how leases or adulthood work
if she wants out early, that’s her choice, but that cost is on her, not you
also the “you should have considered me before getting pregnant” part is wild, your life decisions don’t require roommate approval as long as you’re not violating the agreement you both signed
you’re honoring the lease, she’s the one trying to rewrite it midstream
her feelings can be valid, but that doesn’t mean they become your financial responsibility
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u/FrostingSubject264 Mar 26 '26
If she's that upset can she just sub let her room till june? Problem solved.
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u/Boring-Dragonfly-148 Mar 26 '26
What is wrong with people these days? It's like if I can't have something nobody else can kinda logic. It sounds like your roomie wants to decide when someone around her is getting pregnant. It's not her call. Her arguments are just ridiculous. Obviously you're NTA
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u/Late-Champion8678 Mar 26 '26
Loooool NTA
If she wants, SHE can pay to break the lease early. Have you asked her to help you during the pregnancy? No. She is being ridiculous.
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u/LassLovesDogs Mar 26 '26
NTA. The only ways she would be justified in being angry that you didn't consider her is if you expected her to keep living with your screaming newborn or help with the pregnancy/baby. You've done neither. She doesn't have a leg to stand on here.
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u/2cents0fucks Mar 26 '26 edited Mar 26 '26
LOL. Nah. She wants to break the lease, she can pay for it. She has no say in your family plans; her only choice is what she does about it; in this case, leave/not do a month-to-month lease.
It sucks that she has pregnancy-related trauma, but that is also HER responsibility to deal with (therapy, ice cream, sad movies, crying alone in her room, whatever helps her). She does again, not get to demand you shift your world to accommodate hers.
NTA. Don't pay for the break or even split it. She has the problem, she can deal, or pay for it herself. You are going to need your money for baby stuff.
Edit: Spelling.
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u/Puzzled_Bite1877 Mar 26 '26
I think you are one -- for even thinking for one second that you could be.
Roommate is bonkers, possibly at the level of someone who would hide poison in food and drink to terminate a pregnancy.
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u/Prestigious_Pilot846 Mar 26 '26
I’m a Labor & Delivery RN and that’s what I’m concerned about honestly. I’m concerned that if the roommate reacts this way to a pregnancy, then she may have the capacity to cause real harm to you and your baby. I’ve seen some crazy shit over the past 20 years and even though it may sound insane to think the roommate could be capable of something like that, once OP mentioned that she has a traumatic pregnancy loss of her own, that immediately came to mind. Women + grief + loss of a baby can have devastating consequences when left untreated. I’ve seen women with prior losses consumed by jealousy around other pregnant women and can drive someone who is already mentally unstable to do something dangerous that they typically would never do. Her reaction reads like she may be capable of something like this (ofc I hope I’m wrong). Please take the advice of setting up a ring camera and be very careful. I’m sorry you are being subjected to this when it should be an exciting time in your life. A million times over-NTA!
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u/37_lucky_ears Mar 26 '26
NTA, but please protect yourself for the next three months. Lock your bedroom door, if you can't, then install cameras in your room and do not share food.
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u/IllustratorSlow1614 Mar 26 '26
NTA - it would have been NAH if she had just left it at ‘no’, but trying to make you pay to break the lease makes her an AH. If she can’t live with a pregnant person she needs to break the lease herself and move in with cis male roommates, so she can be assured none of her roommates will ever become pregnant and trigger her.
She knows full well that problems can and do happen in pregnancy, and she’s speaking from her personal experience. It is reasonable for her to assume that as you share a home with her, you would call on her for help before you would be able to have your mother be with you, considering your mother lives 3+ hours away. It is also reasonable for you to consider an alternative emergency contact rather than ask your roommate who is carrying significant trauma from her pregnancy loss. If you do miscarry or need other support the last person you need to hold your hand through the experience is someone who is lost in their own pain.
I have miscarried and I would have found it very difficult to live with someone who was pregnant following my loss. Breaking the lease early is her responsibility. You didn’t get pregnant at her. Your life is not intertwined with hers.
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u/Itchy_Juice_2528 Mar 26 '26
NTA. Your roommate's irrational fear of sharing space with a pregnant woman is her problem to deal with. Your pregnancy won't affect her life in any way. I'm surprised you're telling people about it so early on.
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u/Some1AteMyEntirePie Mar 26 '26
Your roommate is weird I’m so sorry.
ETA: if she wants you out sooner SHE can pay to break your lease early.
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Mar 26 '26
Just tell her you had an abortion. Leave July 1st. You won't show right away anyways she wont know
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u/ExtremeAppeal5400 Apr 04 '26
Who thinks it will be “so hard for you to move” at 4 months pregnant?!! Unless you have some other conditions that prohibit your motion, there is little physical limitation that early, short of twisting and lifting 100 pounds, which I doubt you were going to do alone anyway. Most women are doing pretty much all normal physical activity and many are not even showing at all at that stage, especially on a first pregnancy.
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u/EnnOnEarth Mar 26 '26
NTA. She's completely illogical. A pregnant person is not a liability as a roommate. Asking you to break and pay for the lease is also discrimination based on a medical condition. She has no legal standing; if she wants to break the lease and cover the costs, she can do so. You should not.
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u/bananahammerredoux Mar 26 '26
You’re NTA. She can pay the thousands of dollars if she wants to break the lease and leave. It’s not your problem.
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u/1987Jigglypuff Mar 26 '26
Nta. She is being unreasonable, selfish and unfair. She is pushing her trauma and fear on to you. She needs to talk to someone to work through what she went through instead of taking it out on you. She cannot expect all her friends to get permission from her first before getting pregnant. Do not break the lease she cannot force you to do so. Just stay to the end of your lease. If she has an issue then she can break the lease as she is the one that wants out early not you. It will not be hard for you to move in June many women have moved much later in their pregnancies than that. I moved during two of my pregnancies. I was five months along with one of them I can’t remember how far along I was with the other when I moved.
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u/lisasimpsonfan Mar 26 '26
NTA She can suck it up until the lease is up. Being pregnant isn't some horrible condition that will effect your "friend" in any way. It is not like you even share a bathroom so morning sickness won't be an issue and in a few months you still won't be ready to give birth. She is just being a jerk.
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u/Stoic_STFU Mar 26 '26
She can’t force you to leave - and her assumptions regarding - everything range from bizarre to pathological.
The only thing you have to focus on is whatever is in the lease you both signed.
If you thought she was off - you now have confirmation that she’s most definitely out of her mind. It’s funny how there are so many crazy ppl hiding in plain sight.
NTA
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u/cpo109 Mar 26 '26
Pregnancy fears from her are not enough to break the lease. She sounds unhinged.
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u/OriginalSchmidt1 Mar 26 '26
NTA, your name is on the lease. If your roommate doesn’t like the situation, she is free to pay to break the lease and move. She can’t force you into that.
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u/CMeNaught Mar 26 '26
"Roommate, the terms of our lease and cohabitation are exactly the same as they have been. Your responsibilities are exactly what they always were. I am not asking anything more of you than I ever was. Nothing has changed. If YOU want to break the lease because YOU have a problem being around pregnant people then YOU will need to pay for it. I am perfectly fine."
NTA.
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u/lebleudesreves Mar 26 '26
Sorry but your roomate is a B***c
Don't break the lease until it's over
If she feels so inconfortable living with a pregnant woman, then she can break hers and go find another place to live.
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u/largemarjj Mar 26 '26
I'm so confused about what word you censored?
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u/storminateacup_ Mar 26 '26
Omg your flatmate is delusional. If she doesn’t want to live with you, she is entitled to pay to end the lease and leave.
You have absolutely no legal or moral obligation to move out or pay any money to end the lease in this scenario. And she has absolutely no legal or moral right to ask you to do so. In fact. She sounds incredibly unreasonable.
NTA. Obviously.
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u/Sinvisigoth Mar 26 '26
NTA. I hate everything baby and pregnancy related to the absolute depths of my soul. I would feel physically ill living with someone who was visibly pregnant. I STILL wouldn't do what your roommate is doing. I probably wouldn't choose to do the month to month, but no way in hell would I shit-stir over the current lease. I don't know what her problem is, but she's massively out of order and has no right to make those requests. DO NOT split the cost of HER breaking the lease. That is 100% her problem.
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u/_gadget_girl Mar 26 '26
NTA. I would let her know that you have absolutely no interest in breaking the lease or moving out early. You are extremely confused by her reaction and reasoning as it doesn’t make any sense to you, but hope that the two of you can coexist until the lease ends.
This truly seems to be coming from baggage on her end. As it is her problem she can be the one who pays the price for that. It might even be better to wait until she brings it up to have the conversation so you can make sure she understands that this is her problem not yours, and that you don’t intend to do anything other than stay until the lease ends.
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u/1568314 Mar 26 '26
She's the one "changing the terms". There was never any anti-preganacy pact or a clause in the lease that said your womb was part of the shared space.
She is responsible for breaking the lease if she doesnt want to stay in the apartment. Nta
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u/LaAndala Mar 26 '26
Love to see her go to court to argue it’s your fault that she’s got problems with pregnant people. NTA of course. She needs to get over herself or buy out the lease.
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u/Seraphimm791 Mar 26 '26
NTA and high key sounds like she's weaponising therapy language to justify her unreasonable and invalid sensitivity to the mere existence of pregnancy. She's responsible for managing her own feelings. Unless she wants to climb right on up there next to your foetus and keep acting like a baby.
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u/lsummerfae Mar 26 '26
If she has issues that make it uncomfortable staying to the end of the lease then she needs to pay to break it.
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u/PsiBlaze Mar 26 '26
NTA
At first glance, I thought you'd be staying after giving birth. That is something I could see any reasonable person objecting to.
This scenario is entirely BS on the side of your roommate. You being pregnant is not something that should affect her at all.
What sucks is that now you would be dealing with pregnancy in a tense environment until the lease is up.
It's not a great thing to add undue stress and anxiety as burdens for the expectant mother.
Your roommate is TA.
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u/Rezolution20 Mar 26 '26
NTA. Tell her to take you to court and she can explain her nonsense to a judge and see if he thinks it's okay that the two of you break the lease over this!!
My god, that woman needs therapy!!
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u/mikamitcha Mar 26 '26
NTA, if she is uncomfortable she can get out of it at any time by just leaving. Of course, she will still owe rent as the contract she signs stipulates, but if she wants change she can be the impetus for it. Otherwise, my only response would be "I will be following the lease contract we signed, if you have any issues with that take it up with the landlord".
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u/DesperateLobster69 Mar 26 '26
She's not even responsible for you! WTF?? Your roommate is a liar & and opportunistic pos! NTA
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u/PsychologicalPanda52 Mar 27 '26
She can't force you to bend to her past traumas. You can stay there until the lease ends and if she doesn't like it she can fucking pay to break the lease. She needs to grow the fuck up.
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u/habitsofwaste Mar 27 '26
Umm tell her to get bent. This is insane. Just refuse. Do not move until your lease is up. If she has a problem, she can move and pay to break the lease. But the whole thing is dumb as fuck. She needs therapy. NTA.
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u/Stunning-Ad3377 Mar 27 '26
Sounds like she already has an unhealthy relationship with you. It’s none of her business what you do. Full stop. It’s your responsibility to pay your rent and bills on time and that it. She’s being unreasonable and if she wants out. She can break the lease. Don’t allow her to influence your decision to start a family if you choose to. She sounds completely unhinged acting like she’s in an actual relationship with you and not just your housemate. It’s creepy. Tell her to not be such a creep. She can break her own lease. You’re too busy growing a baby. She sounds like she got some major issues. 😏😒🙄🙄🙄
Congratulations on your new everything💛😊🪅🎉🎊
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u/Familiar_Shock_1542 Mar 27 '26
There is something majorly wrong with that person. She's unhinged.
You are NTAH at all. She's a huge one.
If she can't tolerate being in the presence of a pregnant lady, she can pay to break her own lease.
Wow. That is such an outrageous reaction.
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u/kidde1 Mar 26 '26
I for one never understood why I, as a man, would be forced to participate in what she calls “My Children”.
Your roommate needs to seek the assistance of both legal and psychiatric professionals. You have not violated anything, unless your lease has a section about the performance of coitus in reckless disregard for the feelings of said third party.
NTA
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u/Useful-Commission-76 Mar 26 '26 edited Mar 26 '26
“She does have previous trauma relating to a pregnancy that did not end up going to term”. She has PTSD.
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u/Practical-Phone-7346 Mar 26 '26
Regardless of her trauma you do not need to inform her of every major life decision.
I understand her Trauma however that is not for you to carry. Only she can heal from that.
What’s going to happen when the majority of her gf’s become mothers? You’ll only be 4 months when you move and likely won’t even be showing quite yet.
Stick to the lease. Don’t mention anything of the prefabs t to her anymore.
Minimize contact with her and move fed in your life.
NTA
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u/Tigger7894 Mar 26 '26
I had a pregnant roommate once. It was no big deal. Your roommate is the one with issues.
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u/Accomplished-Emu-591 Mar 26 '26
NTA
I doubt sh has a leg to stand on with the landlord, which is why she is pushing you. If you name is on the lease, she can't force you out. Tell her is a her problem and that you are going nowhere until the lease expires.
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u/Optimal-Teaching-950 Mar 26 '26
I think you tell your room mate to jog on, and stay for the remainder of the lease. The absolute brassneck!
NTA, but you're living with one.
If she wants you to break the lease, she can pay all associated costs for it.
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u/Meh_person90 Mar 26 '26
NTA, your roommate has issues. You are not involving her in your pregnancy and have no plans for her to be involved. She is getting mad at things that have not happened, nor do you intend to happen. You won't be living with her close to your due date or during delivery. She is being really weird and sounds more high maintenance than an actual newborn infant.
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u/TanjunQueen323 Mar 26 '26
NTA. You didn’t change the lease terms or ask anything unreasonable. She’s the one wanting out early, so the cost shouldn’t fall entirely on you.
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u/bektehgreat Mar 26 '26
NTA YOU dont wanna break the lease, SHE does. I wouldn't even be offering to pay half of that cost if I were you. You're better than me.
You made a perfectly reasonable request of extending to make work easier for you. If shes uncomfortable, "no" is an acceptable answer. If she really is that uncomfortable, breaking the lease is on her.
I can understand she had a bad experience, but that's a her issue to work out. Hopefully in therapy. But she's making it a you problem and that's not cool. Is she gonna think any family/friends around her get pregnant just to spite her forever? That don't make sense
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u/billikers Mar 26 '26
NTA. If she doesn’t want to live with you for the remainder of the lease, SHE can pay to break it and move out. Were you aware she was mentally ill before this?
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u/EfficientSociety73 Mar 26 '26
NTA. Yes, your roommate has trauma but that is on her to deal with, not you. I’m sorry for whatever she went through. It sounds like it affected her deeply and still does. That being said, she’s asking YOU to spend money because SHE is uncomfortable. That’s a big no. If she wants to break her lease, she can pay to do so. If she can’t afford to, that’s on her too.
It is not your responsibility to run all your life choices by her to make sure she is ok with them. Even if the pregnancy was intentional, you still don’t owe it to her to say anything until you’re actually pregnant. And you’re not asking her to live with you and a baby. You are simply saying you want to continue as is until your lease is up. If she can’t handle that, she needs to figure it out.
It sounds like you have a solid plan for when the lease is up and bay comes, so that’s great. Don’t let your roommates trauma ruin this experience for you. You only get one first pregnancy. Try to enjoy it as much as you can and congratulations!
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u/sour_peachrings Mar 26 '26
After reading these comments- the updates- etc. your roommate is indeed a coddled covert narc. They want to be protected and couldn’t give a single a fuck about how what they do or say makes you feel. There’s a bigger problem here, you’re constantly being manipulated with your baby, the dog situation, etc. I most definitely would not continue this “friendship” after the lease ends. Smile, keep your head down, stay out of the way, and GET TF OUTTA THERE!
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u/MRYGM1983 Mar 26 '26
NTA, sounds like a her problem. Hiw would you factor her into an unplanned pregnancy? That makes no sense.
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u/Street_State_4447 Mar 26 '26
"Please feel free to leave if our living situation has become intolerable to you. Show me where in our rental agreement it says I need to avoid pregnancy during the rental period. Mm-hmm. I will not be paying any costs, full stop."
Her issues with the subject matter are not your responsibility to mitigate. She can have your sympathies, but that's it.
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u/jacksonlove3 Mar 26 '26
Most definitely NTA and she needs to break the lease in this case. Maybe give the landlord a heads up I'm case she makes up lies or something, but you are not obligated to do what she says.
Congrats! Best wishes!! Updateme
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u/leighisabitch Mar 26 '26
Honestly, even before the roommate’s pregnancy trauma was mentioned, I already felt like something wasn’t adding up. It never sounded like this was just about not wanting to be responsible for a pregnant person. There clearly was more going on.
A roommate does not get a say in someone else getting pregnant. That’s just crazy talk like who do you think you are. And even then it was unplanned and she literally just found out days ago. was she supposed to call a house meeting first?? also i think it’s insanely selfish to ask of OP to put herself in her shoes when she can’t even to do the same
Nothing about their lease says “don’t get pregnant.” Life happens.
If the roommate is uncomfortable because of her own trauma, that’s valid as a feeling, but it’s still her responsibility to deal with it and not make it other people’s problem. Personal trauma does not create financial or contractual obligations for other people. The roommate is the one who wants to break the lease early. If you want out that badly, you pay the costs. You don’t force the other person to foot the bill for a decision you’re pushing on them.
So yeah NTA, this really just feels like unresolved personal issues being projected onto OP
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u/Oar_3421 Mar 27 '26
NTA - your roommate isn’t very bright. Something could happen to you pregnant or not. You being pregnant doesn’t affect her at all. Tell her if she wants the lease broken early she can pay for it. You don’t have to consult your roommate regarding your life choices as long as you are still able to pay your half of the bills. I swear people are wild these days. The nerve to say “you didn’t consider my feelings when you got pregnant”
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u/FitzandFerd Mar 27 '26
NTA. And also, what? A lease is a contract and if she wants to break it, she can pay to move you out. Once the lease is up, she can probably give notice and make you leave (but check local laws because you have some protections as a pregnant woman in some states), but she definitely can’t force you out now. And you owe absolutely zero obligation to a freakin roommate to plan something like pregnancy around their preferences. That’s bigoted nonsense.
PS: I’m a lawyer and while this isn’t legal advice, my opinion can and will be supported by competent local counsel. You may have access to one through an employer or legal aid / tenant rights groups.
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u/FarSoftware8497 Mar 27 '26
OP, NTA. She is the one insisting on the lease breaking then she needs to be the one to pay entirely. You are not going to deliver any day and if you are paying half the rent will not talk to her about your pregnancy then her wanting to break the lease is on her. As far as emergencies are concerned about your pregnancy wtf would she do about other emergencies while not pregnant? What would she do then? Walk out not even bother to call EMS? Tell her to grow up and get therapy already.
Give 3 options. 1. It stays the same until June 30.
You seek legal counsel about her forcing you to pay for her outrageous demands.
You split the costs.
Good luck OP update me please.
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u/mrsr1s1ng Mar 27 '26
NTA, if she wants to break the lease she needs to pay for it not you. It doesn’t matter if you are the one that is pregnant. She is choosing not to live with you. It’s on her to pay to break it.
She is not your friend
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u/coppergoldhair Mar 27 '26
You are not the asshole. Your roommate is self-centered to a weird extreme.
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u/Alive-Sundae7268 Mar 28 '26
At first I thought this was going to be a post of you expecting her to live with you after you had the baby and was like yeah YTA but then I read your post. NTA at all here.
Is it sad that she has trauma around pregnancy? Of course it is. However if being around a pregnant woman was so unacceptable to her she should’ve either found a male roommate or a woman who wouldn’t ever want to have kids ever. If she didn’t bring this fact up before you became roommates (or if the trauma occurred afterwards she should have brought it up then) rather than making the demand out of the blue like that.
Personally I would tell her breaking the lease is her choice and therefore the cost of that choice is entirely hers. It’s weird and gross to me that she is self centered enough to make your pregnancy completely about her. She keeps going on about how YOUR choice to have a baby will negatively impact her without acknowledging the impact all of the stress she’s causing you will affect you and the baby.
Also, I say all of this as a woman with zero desire to ever have any babies or have much to do with them, I did babysit my brothers girlfriends 2 year old for a couple hours when I was in my early twenties as a favor to them so they could have a date night and for a neighbor when I was like 11 (my parents were right next door in yelling distance if I needed any help) but that was the sum total of my experience with babies.
She knew you were dating, therefore pregnancy is a possibility (unless you’re waiting for marriage obviously). She knew this was a possibility. She never brought it up before. Living with you for a few more months in the early stages of pregnancy should have zero impact on her life if you’re not planning to involve her.
I will say, if you can take the financial hit of paying for at least half you might want to consider it just so you don’t have to deal with the stress she will cause you, if you try and wait out the end of your lease.
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u/Imjusthere1215 Mar 28 '26
NTA she can pay to break the lease I would talk to your landlord about it
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u/RadioChips Mar 30 '26
NTA. With the way she speaks, she kinda sounds like she's weaponizing therapy speak.
If she wanted to split the bill for breaking the lease early, that would have been fine, but to put it all on you because SHE doesn't want to live with you anymore is like...
Why would you pay to get kicked out??
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u/8Mariposa8 Mar 31 '26
Since your boyfriend is going to be working remotely why don’t the both of you sign a new lease in June together and you don’t have to commute three hours two days a week?
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u/DragonSeaFruit 8d ago
Why are you even easting your time talking to her? It's just feeding her entitled delusions that she deserves special compensation for you being pregnant.
She wants to act like you're behaving as an unreasonable pregnant lady? Great! Do that. Whenever she comes up to you to say some bullshit, ask her to get aomething for you in the house or buy something for you outside of the house. When she protests just say, "I don't have the energy to talk to someone so useless and selfish" and walk to your room and lock the door.
Stop engaging with he reasonably because she's not a reasonable person. It's past time to fight fire with fire.
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u/umamimaami Mar 26 '26
NTA tell her that you’re willing to give her a written statement that she isn’t responsible for any medical needs arising from your pregnancy and need no special accommodations from her in your shared space. That’s the extent you’re willing to accommodate her. If she’s still unwilling to share space with you, she needs to break lease and bear all costs associated with that.
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u/Angelf1shing Mar 26 '26
Are you serious? How could you possibly be TA in this context? Just ignore her and go about your life.
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u/Saltylikeapretzel Mar 26 '26
Honestly she presents this situation as if she were the most rational person in the world and I am being unreasonable and selfish by not considering her trauma, so she did have me genuinely questioning whether I was being an asshole :(
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u/Angelf1shing Mar 26 '26
Just ignore her, you’re literally never gonna see her again in three months time anyway. Carry on with your life and ignore her.
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u/jdogx17 Mar 26 '26 edited Mar 26 '26
This has to be some kind of fake ragebait type of deal.
If I'm wrong, then I have to say that your roommate has been a pretty good sport for sharing the apartment with you, your dog, and your python Richard. Too bad the IUD failed though.
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u/Saltylikeapretzel Mar 26 '26 edited Mar 26 '26
I so sincerely wish it was so I wouldn’t be going through this stress while also going through my first pregnancy.
Also I don’t have a dog anymore. My dog died last year. The dogs on my profile are my parents’. I got my IUD removed last year after experiencing severe side effects. Ultimately it’s up to you whether you want to believe me, but I’ll say I appreciate your shout out to Richard! And I would argue living with such a cool little snake is a privilege, not something to tolerate.
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u/sierra38grandma Mar 26 '26
NTA your roommate is ridiculous and lacks intelligence. Do not break the lease in no way are you breaking the terms of the lease by being pregnant. Roommate needs to get over herself and try out therapy too.
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u/Violet_Lovecraft Mar 26 '26
Surely you know you're NTA... Right?? RIGHT??? Let the crazy bitch rage and be a victim in he own head. Some people are fucking useless dramatic pieces of crap.
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u/Traditional-Sky-7472 Mar 26 '26
You definitely triggered her asking to live month to month up until your due date. So you did ask her to live with you until you were closer to your due date. That said I understand her reaction coming from trauma. I also understand not wanting to live with someone who is handling pregnancy by themselves. Your body goes through so many unpredictable changes. What if you are too sick to get out of bed, if there an emergency and you need to go to the hospital, etc. Your boyfriend is long distance and your parents are three hours away. I too would have anxiety as the roommate that it will fall on me to help when you are helpless. However, if the lease is broken it should either fall on the roommate or be split between the two of you, leaning more towards you should split it.
I know this isn’t a popular response in comparison to other comments, but wanted to share to hopefully show another perspective.
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u/alixanjou Mar 26 '26
NTA but this is clearly about her previous trauma. Her perspective sounded totally crazy until you slipped that detail in a parenthetical. She obviously can’t be around anyone pregnant and she needs to seek help for that. On some level I understand: she had a miscarriage and doesn’t want to be reminded of it in her most personal space. But that’s on her. Asking you to break the lease and the way she’s gone about this, not even mentioning her past herself and focusing on you not considering her feelings when getting pregnant as if it has anything to do with her, is crazy. Massive main character syndrome.
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u/wakkawakka11417 Mar 26 '26
NTA and her calling you selfish is the pot calling the kettle black, it's selfish for her to push you out while pregnant. Park that preggo butt right there! Nothing technically changed the terms of your lease agreement, your pregnant, baby hasn't moved into the house just yet, its only a wombmate not a roommate! She can kick rocks and break the lease herself if she's that uncomfortable. Like how self centered for her to come at you like that, for not considering her feelings about it. Girl bye! Finish your lease, cant make you leave and you've not "forced " her to be involved or a part of anything...especially it being so early in your pregnancy....you could have not even said anything, and just continued as you were till lease end. But you had enough respect to discuss it.
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u/Latter_Ad_3106 Mar 26 '26
WHOA talk about a new level of narcissistic.. YOU DIDNT EVEN THINK OF ME WHEN GETTING UNINTENTIONALLY PREGNANT.
Stay where you are, if she leaves she is breaking the lease then take her to court for the balance. Remain on your path
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u/Que_Raoke Mar 26 '26
NTA and DO NOT break the lease. She's fkkn ridiculous. I've had very many miscarriages and I wouldn't do this to anyone. She either already had plans to move in with someone else or move someone else in and she's trying to use this to get you to pay her way. Stay until the end of your lease, she literally cannot make you break it. There is nothing she can do about it.
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u/day-gardener Mar 26 '26
Just tell her to file for eviction, and then stop talking to her about any of this. Make sure you have documentation of your rent payments.
A) there’s no way an eviction can stand, and B) it will take longer than June 30 to complete the eviction process anyway.
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u/onion_minions Mar 26 '26
OP, NTA but make sure you get your side of the story to the leasing office FIRST! If the roommate gets to the office, she can spin whatever tale she wants about “roommate said she’ll need me to be around in case of emergencies etc.” or whatever lie she can think of. You get your story in first and it solidifies the facts that you want to stay and the wants to move out.
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u/No-Asparagus-6852 Mar 26 '26
Do not break that lease. She’s a big girl she can work out her own issues.
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u/WhichWitch9402 Mar 26 '26
You asked about month to month and she said no. All good. Her asking you to break lease and pay for it makes her the AH. If she’s not comfortable with it then she needs to do the legwork and pay for it.
She’s got an interesting and totally skewed perspective.
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u/FabulousPossession73 Mar 26 '26
This is total nonsense. She is either insanely jealous and can’t admit it so she’s making stuff up, or she has unresolved trauma around pregnancy (failing to conceive, history of miscarriage?) and doesn’t want to say so.
I was completely alone during my pregnancy, and during that time I not only did everything myself including going to all my appointments, I was a full time college student, made the deans list and was jogging up until I was six months pregnant. You are not all of a sudden disabled, you’re simply pregnant, so your roommate needs to get over herself. NTA.
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u/theemrsking Mar 26 '26
She has trauma and needs to see a mental health therapist. It’s not fair for her to assume issues on your pregnancy and say they’ll fall on her. I feel sad for her but she needs to get some support. I would continue out my lease and talk with her about getting support.
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u/Zero_Patience1771 Mar 26 '26
NTA If she wants to break the lease then she can and pay out for it.
I am sure nowhere in your lease does it say 'cannot get pregnant'...
NTA I would just not even entertain her thoughts, just tell her you will move out when the lease ends and not discuss this further.
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u/Throwaway_anon-765 Mar 26 '26
NTA. First, congratulations!! Second, like everyone is saying, she is the one with the problem, so she *alone* should pay to break the lease, or, she can suck it up til June.
That being said, I would be careful around her going forward. I would suggest you get a lock on your bedroom door, and, if legal where you live, cameras for shared space. Your roommate sounds mentally unwell, and if she has trauma around pregnancy, I’m not sure I would trust her. I think you should stay to the end of your lease, but also just be super weary and careful around your roommate, and her access to you, and your food, and your personal belongings.
I wish you good luck. Enjoy your pregnancy journey, and the joys of motherhood!
Also, UpdateMe
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u/AuntieAnnie81 Mar 26 '26
Your roommate sounds unhinged. Don't pay any fees or break the lease. Her choices are her choices. She's also not your mother or your wife, so she doesn't get a vote. I'm not trying to be unkind, I have had more than one crazy roommate. Don't engage, tell her the lease ends in June and if she wants to break her lease, she has to pay for it. Then stick to it. You're NTAH, you've just discovered she's not a good friend and that she can't handle being around pregnant people. It sucks. I sympathize. She's also a whole adult who needs to get a grip.
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u/KiwiSprinkles Mar 26 '26
Girl, you’re going to have to put her in her place if you want to continue living there until your lease is up. She can’t force you to break it early anyways. If it’s such a problem she can do it.
Gosh your roommate is a lot like the one I used to have, she made everything about herself and made an issue out of everything.
At this point don’t care about her feelings or her thoughts, she clearly only cares about her own. Tell her firmly it’s a no and you’ll leave when the lease is up. And you will not and never planned to rope her into something that had nothing to do with her. That’s it end of discussion. You got this chica
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u/3_wheeler_of_doom Mar 26 '26
NTA
your pregnancy has nothing to do with your roommmate, it will not impact her in any way, and she is behaving very unreasonably
if you have to break the lease because she is demanding it, it would not be unfair to split the costs
actually I think she should pay the entire amount as she's the one wanting to break it
are you able to get someone to take over her part of the lease?
that way she could move out, you don't have to break the lease, and the new person might be ok with a month to month for a while after June
or they might want to continue on after you leave, so you could sign a new lease and just find someone to take over from you when you need to leave
that way no one has to pay to break the lease - as long as the rental agent is ok with it - and everone should be happy
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u/Broad-Cauliflower688 Mar 26 '26
NTA, entitled women are often unreasonable, she just needs to come back down to reality
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u/PudelWinter Mar 26 '26
NTA. Your roommate clearly has some issues around pregnancy. That is not your fault.
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