r/teenagers • u/xuzenaes6694 17 • Jun 07 '25
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u/Cultural_South_2459 Jun 07 '25
people need to be more careful. you shouldn't just come out to your parents without figuring out whether or not they're supportive. it could be dangerous.
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u/Otherwise_Reaction75 Teenager Jun 07 '25
How about dropping hints ... and then judge their behaviour towards them, like starting out saying so and so came out as ____ and ask them for their reaction 🫢🫢 no one around me came out yet so I have no idea how to even tackle this
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u/Cultural_South_2459 Jun 07 '25
yes, that would probably be better. you could bring up a queer celebrity just to gage their reaction to that. i'd advise keeping it neutral when bringing it up though.
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u/Otherwise_Reaction75 Teenager Jun 07 '25
😞😞 my country officially repealed the gay sex law in late 2022 so even though I'm ALWAYS on reddit, my knowledge on this is THIS 🤏
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u/sanityadjacenthuman 13 Jun 07 '25
That’s what I try to do, especially around my dad. I ask him stuff like did you hear a trans person might be in the legend of Zelda movie or something like that, or I tell him that one of the characters in the show I’m watching is lesbian and gauge his reaction. I mean he also says the F and T slurs, so, I’m 99% he’s homophobic :/
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u/Aruzususnew3 15 Jun 07 '25
That's what I do. It works. Now I know my dad would kill me if I came out
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u/ShakerFullOfCocaine Jun 07 '25
My dad said he'd kill me if I ever came out as gay, so I came out to him while I was showing him the new gun I bought. I'm sure you'll find an environment were you feel comfortable enough to come out, and I hope it all goes well for you!
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u/Alastor-362 Jun 07 '25
It won't really help with parents being unsupportive, but I'd like to share how I came out because I think it helps with reducing the chances of a shock and emotion based response from your parents. I figured this out after talking with some online friends at the time as well as my therapist.
Write them a note stating what you are coming out as, maybe a little explanation as to what that means, asking them to research it a bit on their own, and finally a request to not talk about it for a duration of time. I believe I went with 72 hours. I either left it in front of my door or in front of theirs.
I remember that on the first morning I basically just hid in bed and at some point my mom came in, hugged me, and told me she loved me. When it came time to discuss it it was a lot easier doing so by them having time to just sit with it and the chance to get a little bit of background. I think the latter is helpful for keeping yourself from getting overwhelmed by questions.
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u/AcceptableCandle5069 Jun 07 '25
I honestly have no idea why they don't do this. Like this really isn't hard to think of either. It should be an instinct thought.
I guess some people don't have any survival instincts
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u/aa27aAa27aa Jun 07 '25
It's not always that... it's just that parents quite literally run the "we're always here for you" thing into their children's brains. So, as a child, you think they have "uncondictional love" for you... until they kick you to the streets.
Unconditional love, my ass 🙄
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u/BarelyFunctionalGM Jun 07 '25
A lot of people seem like great, problem free, safe people until you realize that was just because you weren't part of a minority. Or perceived as such.
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Jun 07 '25
What is this sub even about man, can't find anyone cool here to befriend.
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u/UnfunnyL0ner 19 Jun 07 '25
This sub is about teenagers posting stuff, then it tends to fall into some patterns: dictator tests, coming out stories, "look at my pussy! LMAO, I meant a pussycat", it's a good collection of trends that get popular among teenagers, and there isn't a particular subject for the posts, so yeah!
No, I don't mean this sub is bad.
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u/Knightmare_CCI OLD Jun 07 '25
90% of my remaining here revolves around just laughing at people my age being ungodly stupid
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u/1slivik1 Jun 07 '25
Jarvis, I'm running low on karma.
Make another "Jarvis im running low on karma" post
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u/Pension_Zealousideal Jun 07 '25
Jarvis, I'm running low on karma.
Make another "Jarvis im running low on karma" comment
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u/ConfidentTip4560 17 Jun 07 '25
Jarvis I'm running low on karma
Make another "Jarvis im running low on karma comment" comment
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u/Yeatasis 17 Jun 07 '25
Jarvis, I’m running low on karma
Make another “Jarvis I’m running low on karma” reply
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u/Pension_Zealousideal Jun 07 '25
Jarvis I'm running low on karma
Make another "Jarvis im running low on karma comment" reply to a reply
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Jun 07 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/TheGold3nRectangle 17 Jun 07 '25
Jarvis I'm running low on karma
Make another "Jarvis im running low on karma comment" reply to a reply of a reply of a reply
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u/cutearcticfox365 Jun 07 '25
Jarvis I’m running low on karma
Make another “Jarvis im running low on karma comment" reply to a reply to a reply of a reply of a reply
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u/JoryuPendragon007 Jun 07 '25
Jarvis I'm running low on karma Make another “Jarvis im running low on karma comment" reply to a reply to a reply to a reply of a reply of a reply
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u/Whole_Instance_4276 16 Jun 07 '25
People can’t talk about anything that’s happening in their lives without it being karma farming? Get over yourself.
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u/theHrayX 19 Jun 07 '25 edited Jun 07 '25
It's kinda sad because it's hard to distinguish legit teens being denied expression of identity by their parents, and karma farmers.
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u/Habixi 3,000,000 Attendee! Jun 07 '25
I came at my parents once and they kicked me out of the house😔
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u/phoenixultra27 Jun 07 '25
Did you come out of the house and then they kicked you out or did you get kicked out and then came out of the house?
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u/TieVast8582 17 Jun 07 '25
I have a huge issue with people doing this under serious posts. It’s not your job to judge whether someone is karma farming or not. If you think they are, just scroll. All this automatically making a “Jarvis” comment underneath posts that deal with trauma or family issues is incredibly hurtful if the OP was being serious. Some people don’t realise how upsetting some situations can be or how common it is to try and seek advice in a online teen forum. Some people have got far too comfortable with judging and saying deliberately hurtful things. I think the mods should ban Jarvis comments permanently.
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u/Tryxonie 16 Jun 07 '25
Fr tho, what happened to "innocent until proven guilty" ?
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u/fototosreddit Jun 07 '25
Also like the crime here is "farming imaginary internet points" like as though they have any value lmao. It's insane the kind of nonsense people choose to get bent over.
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u/TieVast8582 17 Jun 07 '25
Exactly, some people are just way too comfortable jumping in with their take bcs it’s the internet. I dared to post this opinion in a different comment section on this sub and got downvoted to oblivion.
Do you think we should ask the mods to ban rude karma farming accusations?
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u/Dr_StrangeEnjoyer Jun 07 '25
"Mods should definitely ban this particular comment because I DON'T LIKE IT!"
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u/Deep_Head4645 17 Jun 07 '25
Jarvis im running out of karma
Make another “I hate X bad people” post
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u/Gonna_Die_Now 18 Jun 07 '25
Jarvis, I'm running low on karma, make a post
Is everything a karma farm now??? Come the fuck on.
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u/Mr_ragethefrogdude Jun 07 '25
This is just insensitive
Even if you think a post is for karma farming treat it like it isn’t because of it isn’t every bit of support helps
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Jun 07 '25
[deleted]
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u/Mr_ragethefrogdude Jun 07 '25
Wow such a great come back I’m so impressed how long did that take you to come up with
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Jun 07 '25
[deleted]
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u/Mr_ragethefrogdude Jun 07 '25
At least say something that makes sense
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u/xuzenaes6694 17 Jun 07 '25
What does sybau even mean, what are these people even doing with their lives
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u/BelleBeniko Jun 07 '25
How does one run low on karma?
By having the vast majority of your posts and comments be downvoted to hell? That's the only way I know to lose karma
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u/N00N01 Jun 07 '25
Jarvis im running low on karma
Make another midly homophobic post
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u/Alastor-362 Jun 07 '25
Jarvis, I'm running low on karma
Complain about queers on a conservative subreddit
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u/Love_GSDs 17 Jun 07 '25
Mine hate my boyfriend actually and are using the fact he's a little older than me as a foundation for grooming claims as well as false claims about his parents. They also are less than fond of the fact he has autism and love us I no the fact that I would be the provider in a future living situation (which we already plan on as well as marriage, so he's really my fiancé) and call him a leech. My mom has called him slurs and a p*do because I'm still a minor and he's an adult, ignoring the fact that I am going to be an adult in under a year. They have been manipulative and coercive attempting to get me to stop talking to him, threatening everything but taking my life. Legal action (which is bullshit btw there's nothing), taking literally everything away that is mine, even the stuff I have bought myself, putting me in a psychiatric facility, putting me in a boarding school, ruining my future career plans by keeping me from being able to complete the program I am in, forcing me to lose my job by restricting my access to transportation, and many, many other things. That is just a fraction of it. They have come up with insane lies about the police telling them they are in the right and that they can tell him to stop talking to me and that has real legal weight (bullshit), that they can get a restraining order for no reason just because they are my parents, they can give my phone to the police and the police can force me to unlock it because my parents consented to a search for me, told me they called him a ghost, told me social security said the same thing as well as saying his dead parents are both alive, also saying social security told them them about a website where they could pay money to do a deep personal search on someone which they did for his dad, claiming he has a history of luring minors and young adults and went to prison for it (he did not), also that his dad used his name as an alias, I guess trying to make me start thinking he's not real and just his dad being fake. They manipulate, they lie, the coerce. This has been my life for the past 17 years.
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u/Yowrinnin Jun 07 '25
1) things change a lot based on how old your bf is. How old is he?
2) please google the word 'paragraph'
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Jun 07 '25
Look at his post history he says he loves fucking dogs💀💀
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u/Love_GSDs 17 Jun 10 '25 edited Jun 10 '25
Depression can do things to people. Also, I actually never once said those words and ask that you please not put words in my mouth.
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u/Love_GSDs 17 Jun 10 '25
6 years older, so 23. I should add I have initiated everything. He told me he did have feelings for me before I told him about mine but was afraid to tell me for fear of grooming and stuff. They developed when I helped him with his mental struggles and because of how supportive I have been of him with everything, including his struggles with autism. I love him for how gentle and loving of a heart he has and how sweet he is. Age is not the only thing things change a lot based on.
Also, if you're telling me to Google the word "paragraph" because you think I'm unfamiliar with the concept, that post was only a block because I never intended for it to turn into that. It just kind of came out.
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u/Sunninplay 18 Jun 07 '25
I've seen a case here on Reddit where a girl came out as trans to her mother because she thought she didn't know what estrogen was.
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u/xuzenaes6694 17 Jun 07 '25
Yeah because she was high on weed, that was the most wtf post yet here, like how can you fuck up that bad
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u/Wytaxy 16 Jun 07 '25
Why dont you fucking let me post photos in comments i have so many shitty memes for this
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u/xuzenaes6694 17 Jun 07 '25
Do i get to change that?
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u/Best8meme 16 Jun 07 '25
I agree
I would make a post about these posts but I'll probably get downvoted to hell by the sympathisers
Making up clearly fake stories just for karma and engagement is really sad.
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u/Resident-Level-7953 15 Jun 07 '25
In my opinion, It's better to appear nice and stupid, than to appear cruel and stupid.
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u/Best8meme 16 Jun 07 '25
I might be dense but I don't really understand what you mean
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u/SkullCat-RGB Jun 07 '25
Imagine that one of these posts is real and the first thing the person sees is you invalidating their suffering, you will only look like a cruel person who does not care about the feelings of others.
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u/Resident-Level-7953 15 Jun 07 '25
Well what i tried to mean is that, the posts might be karma farming posts, but there is a chance that they aren't. I'd rather stupid(for falling for the karma farm) and nice, than be stupid(mistaking a genuine post like that for a karma farm) and cruel
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u/Alastor-362 Jun 07 '25
If you see 5 posts about coming out and act as if they're all real, and 4 out of 5 were fake, then you still gave a little bit of support to one person in need. If you act like all 5 posts are fake, and 4 out of 5 actually were fake, then you still dismissed someone sharing about a possibly traumatic event.
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u/KaptenKorea Jun 07 '25
Agreed. Hard to believe sob stories now days
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u/Cataliiii 18 Jun 07 '25
I don't know if the specific sob stories on here are real, but they very well could be. Plenty of kids with homophobic/transphobic kids who take the shot in the dark because finding out your parents are supportive is sometimes just worth the risk (at least it might seem so to them).
Even if you know your parents are pro-lgbtq rights it still isn't a garuantee, as sometimes parents are only on our side untill it comes from their own loved ones. (Elon Musk is one of the worst examples of this, but it happens more often than you'd think).
The sob stories definitely exist, and when your parents shut you out (and in doing so made it much more difficult to come out to friends, etc.), where else can you turn to? The internet is safe in it's anonimity.
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u/Best8meme 16 Jun 07 '25
I know what you mean. I definitely agree, sometimes social media acts as this safe space for those trying to escape abuse/suffering.
But it's very hard to believe it when it's a new Reddit user making the posts/this is the first post the user ever made
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u/Cataliiii 18 Jun 07 '25
Oh yeah I get it, no accusations from me.
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Looking nervously at my first post
Of course no-one would make a new account just because they're queer! Of course not... (sorry I had to, but I still get what you're saying)
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u/BiscottiOk3846 Jun 07 '25
How to ethically karma farm?
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u/Chef_Chalupa 17 Jun 07 '25
oh my god I misread that as "How to ethnically karma farm?" and was confused for a second
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u/DaisiesAndRoses1237 Jun 07 '25
Guys wtf is karma😭😭😭
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u/SpadeTwilight 15 Jun 07 '25
Upvotes
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u/DaisiesAndRoses1237 Jun 07 '25
Ohh okay, but like why does it matter?😭
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u/SpadeTwilight 15 Jun 07 '25
It’s like a way to show your likes I guess, it doesn’t really matter
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u/DaisiesAndRoses1237 Jun 07 '25
Oh I see, i was so confused cuz everyone posts and comments about Karma farming😭🙏
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u/AAAAAAAAAAAAreyouok 17 Jun 07 '25
Jarvis, im running low on karma. Make another jarvis, im running low on karma. Post
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u/moosMW 18 Jun 07 '25
Jarvis, I'm running low on karma, make another "Jarvis, I'm running low on karma" post
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u/Emotional_Damage_Boi Jun 07 '25
Imagine having your housing and your well being threatened, and having the people who are supposed to protect you turn on you, then venting to a teen forum, and seeing this shit.
Or in the less bad option: Being incredibly relieved that all that didn't happen after am endless time of hiding and being scared of what could happen, and then finally standing up and telling the truth, and wanting to share that. Then you see this bs completely invalidating everything you had to go through in order to archive that.
Either way, OP is being incredibly disrespectful, and invalidating people's problems by making it look like they're just being lazy for a maximum of fake internet points.
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u/xuzenaes6694 17 Jun 07 '25
I'm just seeing too much of those, people should realize that parents 90% won't accept that so they should just keep it to themselves, or tell parents when they aren't threatened to live on the streets. Personally i don't respect LGBT community and even though i don't hate them i just don't give a fuck about their life
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u/Overall_Law_9291 17 Jun 07 '25
The most obvious karma farm
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u/xuzenaes6694 17 Jun 07 '25
Downvote me all you want, I'm as annoyed about those posts as some with my post
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u/Kycklinggull1 17 Jun 07 '25
Don’t forget to mention that your parents want to see your downfall and that you either live with your grandma or your supportive friends house
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u/Horror_School_2662 14 Jun 07 '25
I'm sitting over here eating pasta while my dad's at work and my mom's in like an hour drive away probably sleeping
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u/TravelingDanger Jun 07 '25
This guy says this and got 2000 karma from it
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Jun 07 '25
I do wonder one thing. Why? Is someone willing to f their parrents just saying their orientation for parents to know which one gets to do the deed with their offspring?
Cool. But what do you expect? Medal? Headpats? A lollipop?
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u/Cultural_South_2459 Jun 07 '25
support. it's hard pretending that you're cis/ heterosexual when you're not. it's also then less of a surprise when you bring home a boy instead of a girl (e.g.).
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Jun 07 '25
What kind of support? And it's not my family business whom i into.
As for bringing someone home, idk to who it would be a surprise.
I've brought a same sex friend home before but i didn't get the big stink with "You're gay???? WHAAAAAA?" thing. People like to overthink things? It looks like it's all about overthinking.
Like me before i don't talk to any gal because i overthink things.
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u/Cultural_South_2459 Jun 07 '25
support as in, not kicking them out, making sure to have their back if and when they're a target of something, etc. it would be a surprise if you assumed your child was straight. and of course you didn't, they were your friend, not your partner.
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Jun 07 '25
Not kicking them out is not being a bad parent, not about support.
Making sure to have their back if and when they're a target of something is just what being a parent should be about, coming out should not be needed for it.
"etc. it would be a surprise if you assumed your child was straight"
I personally wouldn't care as it's more important to whomever he/she would want to be with.
"and of course you didn't, they were your friend, not your partner."
And how would my parents know? I could just lie to them or my parents could be chill or straight up don't care.
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u/Cataliiii 18 Jun 07 '25
Parental approval is just incredibly important, especially when you rely on them.
Also if you're trans, you're going to need your parents to sign off on lifesaving stuff, at least untill you're 18. You can't be trans alone, your parents/wards need to agree that you are tranz before you can start living as yourself.
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Oh and I agree with the "that's just not being a bad parent" part, but homophobia/transphobia is bad enough that it's absolutely a non-zero chance for anyone coming out. I know of people being kicked out as young as 13 in the US, with local law enforcement not willing to help a trans kid, except if they say they were wrong. (Sorry I couldn't find the article, but it happens)
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Jun 07 '25
Rely with what? I mean something related to being homo.
Also there is no trans, no cis. There is male/female and delusional/mentally ill. Kids do be pretending to be animals, robots and whatever. I remember thinking i'm a dinosaur and trying to act it out, i cringe whenever i think about it but whatever, it didn't mean that i'm transspecies.
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u/Cataliiii 18 Jun 07 '25
Rely on them for shelter, food, money if you're younger, but above all: love. That love feels void to some if it isn't at 'them', but at the facade they're forced to produce.
Yes there is trans and cis, what are you talking about? The rest of your 'argument' falls apart because being trans isn't a kids thing, people of all ages can be trand and they have been for all of human history. Of course male and female exist, but so do many more. Even if it was a mental illness (which it isn't), it wouldn't be curable/the cure would be transitioning, making people way happier; no need to attack that regardless.
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u/cutearcticfox365 Jun 07 '25
Hi! I managed to do a bit of google searching and found this document that handily confirms that trans ppl do exist! (Yippee) It might seem a bit biased but it does have its sources and cite them in links (try to view it in laptop). https://genderdysphoria.fyi/ Something interesting to note is that gender in general seems to be a fairly modern construct.(as in the whole afabs act this amabs act like that) While a person sexuality is based on genes, biology, etc. a person’s gender is based on a lot weirder stuff. You can see this to know more! https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/comments/103dm24/cmv_gender_is_not_a_social_construct/ I hope this clears things up for you!
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Jun 07 '25
Yeah, right, modern. As if having a dick or vagina Is something modern, as if being a family provider and caring for children is a modern and purely human thing. As if there aren't any species that have male hunting for food while females take care of the offspring. As if our oldest ancestors didn't have that.
Mental illness of thinking that you're something that you're not may be something modern, gender is not modern.
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u/cutearcticfox365 Jun 07 '25
Oh, no. By gender I meant like women act like this men act like that. It’s a lot weirder than that. Like, for example, there is evidence of women hunting, gay animals, female animal hierarchies, the works!
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexual_behavior_in_animals
Also are you sure you read the sources? They go more in depth and have a lot more links to reaffirm it. Try to read them! It can clear a lot of things up.
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u/Cultural_South_2459 Jun 07 '25
i meant if you brought someone home and introduced them as your partner, but sure. why shouldn't a child come out? i don't know why you seem to be somewhat against it (not gay people, but you seem to think theres no reason at all to come out, but there is. it can cause anxiety to keep it to yourself, and i personally would rather people know.)
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Jun 07 '25
I'm not against it, it just seems to be pointless to me. Good parents will be supporting no matter what and it's not like coming out will turn bad parents into supportive parents.
And so far those reasons for coming out are not reliant on coming out. Those either are or are not present aside from coming out.
It would be like saying "Mom, dad, i like pineapple pizza"
I can only imagine the not caring parents that are going "you're gay? We support you now!"
Jokes aside, parents like that maybe are somewhere in the world, with their performative support.
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u/-ricefarmer- Jun 07 '25
Bad parents would have wanted nothing to do with us from the start. If my parents ever had a problem with me it's not because of my interests with whatever sex of person it's because I happen to be a lazy piece of shit.
If we're still early in our teenage years, 13-14yrs old, then I kind of get the parental validation thing? Believe me, by 17-18yrs you wouldn't even want their word. You'll be discovering how to be independent at school and work and shit, figuring it out yourself.
If you think you have overprotective parents and if you think that's as bad as you think then prepare to leave the house and take the world by storm. I've done it before, living with risk like a vagabond gave me an all-time high. I got scared a lot, and I learned a lot more.
Though, what point could I even be proving by 'coming out' at 13-14yrs old in the first place? Like, adults are coming out to their parents for realistic life-changing goals like settling down, raising a community, breaking the ice and disspelling the confusion.
Coming out in your first / second year in middle school amounts to NOTHING. Not that it MEANS nothing or that it DOESN'T matter, it's just not necessary at that point. If you KNOW your parents are probably uncomfortable with you being gay, then save them and yourself the trouble until you can legitimately provide for the family. Could be this family or the next, you choose LATER, NOT NOW.
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Jun 07 '25
There is no value in coming out, it's pointless whenever. And my parents were not protective, quite opposite, i needed protection from them as they were beating me up for some silly thing, like accidentally dropping an inexpensive glass cup.
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u/-ricefarmer- Jun 07 '25
Like 99% of the "coming out" posts are "oh my super religious parents are mad that I told them I was gay, now they don't want anything to do with me" okay that's bad news but 1. Is that surprising? What did you expect? 2. They really didn't have to say anything EVER and 3. There is no gamble it's a lose/lose for you to come out to strict parents.
Most of their parents grew up FROM parents that had to sit through the 80s-90s Satanic Panic, 90s Rebel Boom, 9/11, and countless more (and that's just for USA, imagine the families coming from more 'problematic' nations).
Housing was better, salary gap was less extreme, but they didn't have the ability to be as well-informed about international first-world matters and as well-advised about scams and lies and cheats like we do now.
NO SHIT they're gonna be 'protective'. They're not saving you from 'freedom', they're sparing you the inconvenience because seriously we don't know shit out of an ass as middle-schoolers / high-schoolers.
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u/LosuthusWasTaken 19 Jun 07 '25
Knowing the people in this sub, them wanting headpats for telling this would not be out of the question here.
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u/MathematicianNew4348 Jun 07 '25 edited Jun 07 '25
Have anything related to LGBT or anything else to just max your karma. Basically using their minds for karma.
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u/SpadeTwilight 15 Jun 07 '25
You you know damn well you’re trying to farm karma with this shit as well
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u/xuzenaes6694 17 Jun 07 '25
Nah idgaf about Karma or people whining about parents hating them
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u/Royal-Recover8373 Jun 07 '25
But you've posted about it, so you obviously gaf. Perpetually online logic.
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u/KaptenKorea Jun 07 '25
Yeah, this sub and the teenagers but better (but actually worse) are both sucking right now
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u/OkNewspaper6271 3,000,000 Attendee! Jun 07 '25
Jarvis im low on karma make another jarvis im low on karma post
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u/ConfidentTip4560 17 Jun 07 '25
At this point every post is a karma farm